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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:25:56 AM | | I'm surprised that you haven't yet learned that it's often the differences in people that make things more interesting and keep them that way. To be so strict on what you will not accept certainly limits your chances of finding anyone and as far as I'm concerned, to have someone who mirrors you so completely would lead to boredom in short order. Some things in common are great - but everything??...not so much. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 9:38:15 AM |
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape.
I can probably find you a dozen women who share those qualities (I do, except for the master's degree).
Basically what is happening is what happens to all of us online. We find those qualities, but we are NOT attracted to their photo. Put the same person in front of you in person, and you might just be interested.
I'm not telling you to "take a chance" or any of that crap, I'm just telling you why online dating doesn't work for most of us who do find physical attraction a part of being interested in someone.
As for the kids thing, things are just going to get worse as you get older because most women will either already have kids and/or won't want any.
Get out in the real world, and I think a couple of your criteria might slip off the list. I know some of mine would, but to explain that would be a totally different topic.
I don't agree that you should change your preferences or take more chances as you will do what you are going to do no matter what anyone says really. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:07:55 AM | You're entitled to want what you want.
Most people would have different types of assets than those you choose in the person you want to be with.
I don't recall were you intending to marry this person? Or just looking for a companion exactly like you?
Oh I realize exactly is an exaggeration.
For some reason you want your relationship to be easy. Seamless, without wrinkles, or messy issues. You see yourself as the epitomy of perfection (in your own mind) and think that perhaps your life would be less alone if there were two of you, and one happened to be female.
Understandable, completely.
A bit cold, narcisstic and egomaniacal, but I really shouldn't judge and to be frank, neither should anyone else.
OP the truth is you're free to want whatever you want, I"ve been looking for a Flying purple people eater for a number of years of online dating or a unicorn (with a really HUGE horn wink wink) so far...haven't found the right one for me.
Oh sure I've had a few apply....but they were either TOO purple or just plain old lavender. Who wants a Lavender Flying People Eater? | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:16:58 AM | What would be the advantages of being somebody "just like you?"
Close...maybe...but dealing w/ another person is dealing w/ an individual.
And you'll never find an individual that has all or sometimes even MOST of the characteristics that you are seeking.
And if you do..they'll probably be off the market
Or a lesbian
And if they are neither of the above...why are they "on the market", again? | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 10:59:13 AM | What great responses POF'ers, I learn something new everyday!
Your continual frustration cabrabdon will get you no where in the dating world so try to just chill and reflect on some of the responses you have gotten on here. I USED to be like you so this post reeks of familiaraity to me. I had a huge laundry list of criteria and if the guy didnt fit it, I wouldnt even give him a chance and guess what? I had no dates!
I let all that crap go and now Im more open to something new and different and its going way better for me now. It's interesting meeting people different than me. Who the hell wants to go out with there exact clone of themselves BORING.
Dating is supposed to be about exploring new things and being open minded which you don't seem to be . How do you expect to connect with someone if you box them in a closet? Your missing out on and awesome woman due to these restrictions. Life does not operate on "absolutes" "perfection" or "order". Its unpredictable, exciting, and full of unknowns. Be brave embrace the unknown.  | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:05:52 AM | I wonder why does there really have to be 100% similarity on everything? Can a person not be like you currently, but have the potential …especially with regard to the education and profession criteria that you’re looking for?
Not everybody is at the same stage simply by virtue of age and societal expectations of achievement. Being mid-thirties does not automatically mean that everyone has completed all their formal education, or is established in a profession--a job yes. People can and often are in flux for quite a few years and then transition into established roles along time lines which will in all probability, be dissimilar to your own. So why discount those that have the potential to get where you’re at, but are not there yet?
In relation to the above …I'm curious about the importance of Masters level...
Do you value education? Is this why it's important to you? I ask this because in my opinion anyone who has achieved a bachelors degree shares this value simply by investing 4 years of their life to get it. Or do you think that two people with a Masters degrees is more of a foundation in establishing and achieving a particular quality of life?
Something else to consider, regardless of the rank evaluation emphasis that you've given parts of your list, all are ‘elastic’ compared to the true real deal breaker--finding someone that does it for you …When that happens you might be surprised at how unimportant some of those things can become.
I suggest give it more time---but be prepared to be surprised! | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:08:20 AM |
Top shelf is a woman who is after money? That's a pretty screwed up version of top-shelf.
I agree.
Every man knows that a top shelf woman is a woman that puts up with his BS.
I'm having trouble locating a "top shelf" woman. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:42:42 AM |
I want a woman who has the things I have- my status, education, quality of life, similiar type of profession, physical condition, etc. Why is it so HARD to find that woman?
Because they may see an egotistical, self centered narcissist instead of the sweet, nice guy you really are. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 11:56:43 AM | | You may want to hangout in some profesional single club/ fitness Club/ etc.., attend some partys of your office mates and you may find a woman with the same level as you are. JMO. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 12:11:48 PM | This sounds more like a personal ad than anything else....
Think about it. even if she did have those qualities, what makes you think she would want you? My girlfriend.....woman doesn't have a formal education, yet she exceeds my intellect 100 fold. (Albeit this could just mean I am an idiot, but I don't believe this is the case either, as many here can both attest to, and contradict any negative assumptions as to the makeup of my intellect.)
So that having said, if she does have those qualities, their is no reason for you to assume thatyou would meet up with her expectations.
I never date anyone like me.....I know me. What ever would we half to learn. what you are talking about is "status". and it sounds like f aux elitist bullsh1t to me.
And to be quiet frank with you Brandon, I don't believe a word of it.
1.If you have all these expectations, then please explain to me why you are on a free dating site?
2. THERE IS A A FUKCING SEARCH FUNCTION!! This can help you find what you are looking for.
Sorry about the caps, but it never ceases to amaze me that good threads like Difference in IQ - your experiences? Go unnoticed, while ones with obvious answers thrive.
Someone said this last year on this forum:
"The positive reasonably intelligent threads get drowned out by the dramatic ones, because Joe Average can only relate to that dimension.
I do believe this is one of the last things I've read that made me think.
Apropos, don't get me wrong, I am thoroughly entertained by the display of idiocy here daily, and often contribute, I merely have a pet peeve with those that use the forum as a way to whore themselves out under the pretenses of wanting "answers". That is my job.
Though I am sure your mailbox if too full to read this now. Just know this, and I mean this with all seriousness. :
I need to borrow some cash.
Sincerely,
~Joe Average | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 12:18:07 PM | I can't find anyone who is as good as me either. (Just kidding)
I have no kids, a Bachelor's degree, a business, and think I'm good looking and fit.
It IS possible to be totally happy with someone who has kids and no college education, even though you yourself are not saddled with kids and have many years of college.
I have experienced it. There is a lot that someone can offer even with less education and kids. In fact the kids add to the experience if they are nice ones. My advise is to stay open minded about these requirements. It is to your advantage to do so. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 12:30:40 PM |
So, I don't think it is wrong for me to ask my girl to have the similar values and even qualities I have.
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape.
Well OP ~ good for you. You want what you want. The problem with your wants? Two-fold. Values and traits/qualities are vastly different concepts, and? You're gonna be bored out of you frickin' mind if/when you find a carbon copy of your own self. What about someone you can learn from? Someone that sees life differently than you do and can broaden your thought patterns? Knock yourself out and get back to us when Ms. Just Like You wakes up and says, "Ya know? I don't think this is working, I'm bored to tears because there isn't anything but status quo going on here." JMO  | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 1:18:49 PM |
I want a woman who has the things I have- my status, education, quality of life, similiar type of profession, physical condition, etc.
He he. Seems like equality is making progress in society  | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 1:59:49 PM | You get more photos by paying to be a "serious" member as opposed to the rest of us schlepps who want our money for nothing the chicks for free.
(sorry old MTV reference)
((double sorry MTV was a cable channel in the 80's the used to play music 24/7 by the top 40 American rock groups and had videos too on television))
(((television was this big box thing that sat in the living room)))
(((( living rooms were rooms within one's home, usually on the main floor, where the family would gather together to watch t.v. and share quality time laughing and communicating with their beloveds))))
((((( familys? were a place called home, where there was a mom and a dad and they were married, made love with each other (yes, ONLY each other) they made babies, Dad worked, Mom cooked, there were kids and maybe a pet - like a cat or a dog, maybe some grandparents would come and visit on holidays)))))
that was all apparently too much to ask.
Now, just look for a clone of yourself and try to live happily.
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:33:29 PM | [Four pages and that is the sum total of your response?]
remember it is coming from someone that wants a clone. He has no mind and is having difficulty in thinking that is why he is looking for a clone. So he doesn't have to think...
OP relationships are not easy and take time. There is nothing about wanting certain qualities but your list is not about qualities but it is about a resume of abilities?????
Do you want Love or a list | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 5/13/2009 8:49:00 PM |
I want a woman who has the things I have- my status, education, quality of life, similiar type of profession, physical condition, etc. Why is it so HARD to find that woman?
This might sound NOT nice, but let's get realistic. I (or ALL of us) work hard to achieve what we have. I also noticed that lots of people here want a LOT from their dates/boy-girl friends/future spouses. You might all deny but deep down, you do NOT want to settle down for anything.
So, I don't think it is wrong for me to ask my girl to have the similar values and even qualities I have.
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape.
These are only SIX qualities.
I am very frustrated to have found out that it is extremely hard to find someone with those SIX.
I tried hard to reach where I am now. I fought hard the temptations to lead a "decent" life, waiting for someone who has done the same or at least similar.
Now, I am about to give up. brndn
OP: A serious answer from a woman who was, in her 30's single, no kids, master's degree, a professional, probably considered, by some, above average looking, and in excellent shape (I was a marathon runner).
It's your attitude. That's the problem, as I see it. You have expressed concern in this thread that you might offend others, so I hope you can see this for what it is and not be offended. I can't imagine why it would be difficult at all to find women who meet the characteristics you outline. In my experience, as a woman who was in graduate school in her 30's, there are plenty of highly educated, professional woman in their 30's who have yet to be married and/or have children. They are pretty, active physically, etc. However, we don't look for partners based on 'status' or the idea that "I tried hard to reach where I am now. I fought hard the temptations to lead a "decent" life." We look for people with whom we connect. Your view of things is quite superficial. Certainly I would not be turned on by a lazy person who didn't use his brain; however, having a list of qualifications for someone to meet is going to backfire. No one should go out looking for a partner with a laundry list of requirements. First, looks: I have found that the appreciation of looks varies from person to person. I'm sure you have your idea of what is good looking in a women. Some women will find you attractive, others won't. So, assuming you are above average in looks to everyone might be an error. Which means, don't go around thinking what a catch you are because you are above average in looks: have a little more humility. Instead of looking for a woman who fits your list of qualifications, simply look for someone you like being with, who attracts you, who is fun, and with whom you connect. After you get to know her, you will find out if she is a highly educated professional. If she is, she is probably someone who has worked hard too. Physical fitness and appearance are very relative....means different things to different people. One thing I've noticed on the on-line dating sites is that men highly over rate what is a match for them in physical appearance. They tend to go after the 'beauties.' These women have hundreds of favorites, while 'average' looking women are often ignored. However, the men who are ignoring them are also average. My opinion of your looks, and don't get offended, is that they are average. But that is just my opinion. | |
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