| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:46:44 AM | OP I don't think it is too much to ask, and I do think you can find what your looking for, but most likely not here. It would seem the best way to meet such a woman would be to go where people of your profession go.
I am not offended by anything you said as you are just the type of man I am trying to avoid. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:06:34 AM | I think that almost all the women who got offended at the OP's post are women who don't match his 6 criteria.
The women who did match it understood because they're looking for something similar and are equally frustrated.
This made me giggle. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:02:25 AM | I don't want someone like me, I want someone that wants the same things I want, and looks for someone that wants the same things they want.
Mutual attraction to each other
Mutual values
Mutual values on honesty, trust, loyalty, sexuality, compassion, understanding, openness, and morals.
Mutual respect
Mutual caring
She does not have to like the all the same things as I do. And I do not have to like everything she likes. We mutually agree on being individuals with individual likes and dislikes as long as they do not clash. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:48:54 AM | Having this perfect woman in mind Op, means you are limiting yourself to a single idea/vision of womanhood.Keep an open mind and go with the flow.
Decide what are complete deal breakers and negotiate the rest.This is what you think you want from past experience and maybe unrealistic expectations.You will never find a perfect person and you yourself are not perfect.
You might be surprised who you fall for in the end.Best of luck finding Miss right. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:20:53 AM | i, however, still am looking for someone like me. You might just want to try a dating agency the only draw back is the joining and screening fee. You should also consider putting some restrictions on your profile as the only criteria you have is to be female and we all know that simply isn't true. There are a lot of women salivating at the thought of a possible relationship with you that aint going to happen. 
My final thought for you is that when you meet the woman of your dreams with everything that is important to you, she may not want what you want. For example if she has not been in her job for long she is unlikely to want to take a career break to have children for fear of being passed over. Even if she does want to have children there could be fertility problems. My mother was always telling me as a child be careful of what you wish for, when you get it, it sometimes turns around and bites you in the a$$. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 5:37:23 AM |
Having this perfect woman in mind Op, means you are limiting yourself to a single idea/vision of womanhood.Keep an open mind and go with the flow.
Decide what are complete deal breakers and negotiate the rest.This is what you think you want from past experience and maybe unrealistic expectations.You will never find a perfect person and you yourself are not perfect.
You might be surprised who you fall for in the end.Best of luck finding Miss right.
He never said he wanted a perfect girl. He wanted a girl who has made the same intelligent choices in life that he has.
Numerous girls have posted saying they met this criteria so they obviously exist. My standards are not all that dissimilar from the OP's.
What I said before about the only people getting offended by all this being people who don't meet these standards still stands. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 6:25:56 AM | I'm not offended by what OP is and/or what he wants.
It's a big world and there is a huge variety of people.
I'd be totally freaked if everyone suddenly became the same.
OP has his place in the world, just like we all do. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:14:50 AM | i think people are being quite harsh here!
I'm with you! i was in a long term relationship and when it ended i felt like i had to reconsider everything i was looking for because apparently at 28 it feels impossible to find someone that doesn't already have kids or didn't already meet their spouse while they were in college.
I, same as you, am looking for someone without kids, with a college education (hopefully) and a profession. I'm hoping for someone with faith too so that adds another twist to it.
i have realized though that never being married shouldn't be on my list because aside from a piece of paper how is a long term relationship really all that different. and unless they were emotional damaged from it, it might actually help them in the future from what they learned | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 8:55:49 AM |
At this point, I am sure I made ALL SINGLE DADS and MOMS FURIOUS. Don't be offended. Don't take it personally. I did not say anything negative about YOU. I just want someone who is like me.
Are you saying that you won't date a woman who has had children or has been previously married? Because it doesn't say that on your profile.
I am in good shape.
What do you constitute for being "in good shape" ?? Like for instance, I am in good shape, but I can't dead-lift 300 lbs.....
And has far as the master's degree and profession go, there are lots of women that have a profession but not a master's degree. Is having a master's degree that important to you in a woman?
There is nothing wrong with wanting someone who shares in your same interests, but to be "exactly" like you? You may be waiting a long time..... | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 9:27:36 AM | I'm curious OP. Once you find this woman who is what you evisioned for yourself, and let's say she likes you, too, what next? So you also have the timeline of progression of the relationship and the roles for each person defined? Will you need to get married in a certain amount of time to feel like it's right? Will you have children? Will you or she make career sacrifices for them, or both of you? Will someone have to relocate and change jobs?
Are you going to me more flexible about your expectations in the relationship? I mean, you might find the perfect person for you, who is unwilling to actually DO anything you expect! And if you have certain criteria you have it for a reason, right?
For example, does she need an education in order to pay half the mortgage on a big house, or to properly educate your children? Do you have a clear picture of what you want for your life.... or just a clear picture of a person who would complete you without bringing your status down? do you want a partner or an accessory? What do you want this women for? It all makes a difference. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:09:35 AM | Ever since I posted this thread, so many people emailed me saying they are looking for the same or similar. They just did not say here in public- it is because, i think, saying that does not soud good or right although deep down, many (but not all) people have criterias in their preferences.
I said it for others; and it felt good to take that off my chest- in fact, it was soothing and even "healing" of my frustration and .... pain. 
brndn | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:23:50 AM | OP
I didn't read all of the posts, but a cross section. At the risk of being toasted, I tend to agree with you. I don't think you meant someone EXACTLY like yourself, but similar in life experience (I may be wrong, but that's my take). I get discouraged because I'm looking for someone who is a lot like me, not only in the obvious ways such as education, lifestyle, career..but in other ways also, such as morals, goals, emotional stability..etc..I found that I meet more like minded people in my day to day life than on here. You just need to be patient! Good luck.
PS
I agree with the "without children" part, but it's tough to find someone, even in your age group that hasn't been married. I've found that I am slightly flexible in certain areas, but not in others. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:24:19 AM | I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I feel the same way. I wish I could find a guy who was like me as far as the not wanting kids part, but I've found that's been very hard to find. I'd like a guy who shared a lot of my interests, not just some. I'd like a guy, who "got" my sense of humor, and also had a similar sense of humor. I even put in my profile title, that I'm "looking for my evil twin".
It's not that I think "I'm all that". I just think I'd get along better with someone who was more similar to me in more areas then less.
I just think relationships where you have more in common with the other person, tend to do better over the long run, instead of having less in common. That just seems like common sense to me. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 10:53:31 AM |
Now, I am about to give up. brndn
Well go ahead with that ...no really...do it. Give up. I mean...who in there right mind would ever think that there is a women out there with the qualities that you have listed...that thought is so ridiculous......
OK sarcasm aside...what is your hurry???? Do you think relationships are that easy? All you need to do is read these forums for a bit to see that...well...it ain't that simple..... | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:12:01 AM |
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape.
OP -- Dude...with a list like that, despite you being STRAIGHT you're best chance at a match for all six will be a man, and even you know that.
I think you set your bar a little too high for the female crowd. Unless you wanna date another man, I'd suggest you take another look at your "list" and redefine it.
I'm so not kidding.
Don't hold your breath waiting for a female to be able to meet those six standards. Won't happen. 4 of 6 is the best you'll get in any order. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:17:34 AM |
OP -- Dude...with a list like that, despite you being STRAIGHT you're best chance at a match for all six will be a man, and even you know that.
I think you set your bar a little too high for the female crowd. Unless you wanna date another man, I'd suggest you take another look at your "list" and redefine it.
I'm so not kidding.
Don't hold your breath waiting for a female to be able to meet those six standards. Won't happen. 4 of 6 is the best you'll get in any order.t. I disagree. Such women can be found, easily, in graduate programs around the country. I know, I was such a woman, I met every single one of those criteria. The problem is not that such women are available, the problem is in the attitude of the OP. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 11:26:00 AM | What the hell has happened to simple mutual attraction? If we had to have a laundry list of must haves and must not haves, we would all be living single.
Anyone ever hear of compromise? Or allowing for differences and respec them?
This list of must haves sounds to clinical to me. Sounds like a job application list of qualifcations! | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:53:12 PM | | In your profile you say you want someone open minded. This is so important to you that you say it twice. It seems however that you are limiting yourself in your mate by being very dogmatic in your requirements. Commonalities are good and important, but the right personality in a devoted partner can bring you a lifetime of happiness eventhough you differ. Perhaps you need to move a little away from your comfort zone and explore the possibilities. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:31:35 PM | Well some may think you are being judgmental It is clear to me that you are not. You want someone who is like you and that is fair enough. But have you stopped to consider the criteria that you have chosen about yourself that you want your partner to have? This would be considered a representation of yourself? If so your sense of self is completely skewed to the point that you won't ever find someone you love at all. You are more then the things you listed as yourself and i think this is where the problem lies.
My partner is more then the things you listed and I am no where near the things you listed, yet we are compatible. If she would of used such criteria I wouldn't of even been a blip on her radar screen. I can say that when i was looking for a partner i wanted someone like me, and didn't believe such a person existed. The problem was the criteria i was measuring myself by not how i was measuring others. I am merely a carpenter and would of seen someone with a PHD as completely out of my realm to communicate with. But as i found out it isn't what you do that makes you compatible, it is who you are and how you are in the world. Value systems and ethical beliefs are much more important. Having similar interests isn't necessarily important but being open to learn and understand others is.
Who are you really? When you strip away your status who are you? How do you relate to the world without these things? What do you value? Do you have any ethical stances that are important to you? How do you perceive love? How do you Love and how do you feel loved? How do you relate to others? Your PHD will not make your partner feel loved, and your career while may provide some security it is a false sense of security that may or may not last and perhaps may get in the way of intimacy.
If you have the level of intelligence you say you do perhaps you may want to look at yourself and others differently. You may be surprised that you find love where you didn't think it could ever exist. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 1:39:00 PM | I have a couple of engineer coworkers that are mid 40s, one gal and one guy that both have never been married either....they are both in good shape also but odd personalities and average looks....people are just not attracted to them....
I have to admit that I have preferences as well as OP and have simply not dated for a long time considering my age and am getting back into it....you can always try to date 20-somethings...some might not be as career minded, but your list is kinda dry...I can think of more important values that I would want to see... | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:36:02 PM | Wow.
Some of you all would -really- freak out I were to type out what I look for....
lol.
I don't feel frustrated, though.... I meet my type on a regular basis. Just not in WV. :( | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:30:36 PM |
The problem is not that such women are available
Um yea. But you're talking about less than 1 full percent I'd suspect. Pretty long odds indeed for someone looking to fill those 6 criteria.
You'd represent 1 of.................................how many millions or more?
Be real. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 4:55:33 PM | | I am talking about educated women in grad schools. They tend to not get married until their mid or late 30's and also wait to have children. They tend to be physically fit...studies show that it is more often more educated women who are more physically fit, not always of course. I am saying that there are more of these women to be found in certain professions or in grad schools. However, it is the OP's personality that is not drawing such women to him. As I've already explained in the post. And the post from the carpenter who married a women with a PhD says it all. | |
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