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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:01:27 PM | So what most of these people are saying, is lower your standards and settle for less. Go out with a high school drop out. Don't be picky. (being sarcastic here)
One poster mentioned that it's your attitude, not what you are looking for. That could be it. I met a guy one time who was looking for the perfect match. He told me that although I fit most of his criteria, I didn't fit all of it. He must have had about 3 pages full of requirements...well, 2 years later...I hear he is still single, still looking and hasn't been in a relationship or even gone on more that 2 dates with someone since I went out with him.
So, maybe it's a combination of attitude and not being flexible enough. Pick a couple of "must haves" or deal breakers and leave the rest to chance. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/21/2009 7:09:52 PM |
I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Only if you really don't like yourself. Or if you only think you know who you are, but it's mostly self delusion or looking at the wrong things.
Why is it so HARD to find that woman?
I point back to the possibility you don't like yourself, so they won't like you either...and will look for little things to grow into big things in order to keep from maintaining a relationship.
Or that you are valuing the wrong things. Certain aspects of your life may not have come about due to positive values. But maybe you idealized the outcome, then rationalized the method or values to obtain it. Without realizing the negative roots. And then see the negative roots in others, and therefore reject them. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:12:39 PM | No, i don't think it's particularly wrong, though i do think you are in for a long search.
Maybe you should just get these questions out of the way first thing every date you go on.You'll probably get slapped or something, but hey, at least you are'nt 'settling'. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/26/2009 4:21:49 PM | | I dont think you are asking for to much! dont give up and dont lower your standards! eventually you will find what you want and you will be satisfied and fulfilled. I tried lowering my standards and I was miserable for a year of my life becuase I chose someone that didnt have a similar drive! Good luck and dont let anyone convince you that what you are asking for is to much! its not!!! | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/26/2009 7:08:50 PM | Hi Brandon:
No it's not too much to ask! Hold the fort. The world is a crazy place and you have time and numbers on your side.
There are many more women than men in most regions of the country. You know what will happen if you give up and
go with the flow. You'll end up in the sewer!
Go to places where there are likely to be nice women--church, country clubs, special interest conventions and festivals.
But of course one cannot be arrogant. Keep your eyes open. Listen and watch
Perhaps you only think you are ready to settle down? Besides it is too easy to get embroiled in a relationship, even marry and then wake up and realize you should not have attached yourself to the person. We cannot allow an attraction too overrule our better judgment.
~Skyswimmer555 | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:30:25 PM | | I hav eall of those except a master, but I doubt you would even write me. I think you are looking for more than you realize. I agree no one wants to settle. But also I am thinking life is short, I guess I am in the same boat. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:37:01 PM | Dude, it's not too much to ask, but it is a needle in a haystack. Try to understand that a female as organized as you is not only tuff to find but is also in no need of a man. A woman like you can fend for herself. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:23:27 AM | Those are rather superficial qualities to desire. Be honest with yourself- there is no real substance in "being" any of those things.
Try E-harmony. I've done it, it tends to attract folks such as you, and I suppose myself, only I felt forced to go on dates what with all the "intricate" matching.
You also suggest, strongly, that by retaining these superficial qualities, you worked very hard to keep them, and in stating this suggest that everyone else has not, and worse that they may be indecent.
For someone with a Masters it's shameful- the total lack of forethought, the lack of introspection. You don't seem to know yourself, or aren't honest with yourself, and you seem to suffer from a lack of real world experience- the simple list of superficial desires is evidence of that alone. I simply can't imagine that any self-aware person would be as superficial as that, and to make such backhanded remarks.
You are correct- no one wants to settle, but then most people I've encountered in my life aren't very aware of who they are and what they really want beyond, as in your case OP, the superficial.
We all like candy, but sometimes we need something more filling, no? | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:41:21 AM |
Well, I am not saying I want a man, since I am STRAIGHT. I want a woman who has the things I have- my status, education, quality of life, similiar type of profession, physical condition, etc. Why is it so HARD to find that woman?
This might sound NOT nice, but let's get realistic. I (or ALL of us) work hard to achieve what we have. I also noticed that lots of people here want a LOT from their dates/boy-girl friends/future spouses. You might all deny but deep down, you do NOT want to settle down for anything.
So, I don't think it is wrong for me to ask my girl to have the similar values and even qualities I have.
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape.
These are only SIX qualities.
I am very frustrated to have found out that it is extremely hard to find someone with those SIX.
At this point, I am sure I made ALL SINGLE DADS and MOMS FURIOUS. Don't be offended. Don't take it personally. I did not say anything negative about YOU. I just want someone who is like me.
I tried hard to reach where I am now. I fought hard the temptations to lead a "decent" life, waiting for someone who has done the same or at least similar.
Now, I am about to give up. brndn
Stop looking at the photos. The photos don't work!
e.g. bikini = run | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 8/16/2009 10:41:30 PM | i feel the same way.
mabe it's where you live....
you might wanna relocate to a bigger city like as new york, chicago, miami, los angeles, san francisco, etc. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 8/16/2009 11:11:53 PM | There's nothing wrong with having standards. It just seems to me that the OP's are on the superficial side. And btw, I meet 5 of 6- I've been married. Although I'm sure the OP is a splendid fellow who I might even consider for some of my friends who do meet all six of his requirements, I wouldn't be interested in someone like him, ever. Aside from the superficial things we have in common, based on his profile, we are very different people who value very different things. It's not a bad thing, it just is.
If I'd ever had a list similar to the OP's, I would never have met any of the wonderful men I've had in my life. I guess I just prefer to fling a wider net, and look at the whole person, rather than how they measure up against a checklist. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 1:58:51 AM | I have to admit, I have made disparaging comments about the original post. Now, I find myslef wondering the same thing. Why can't I find someone sorta like me? Now my list may not be the same as his list or yours, I am finding that someone with similar interests, values, personality traits (the good ones, that is ) and vision of the future is like looking for a lost key dropped from a 100 foot tower in a refinery (we didn't find the key.) The op does make a point, maybe not the way you or I would make it, but to be fair (sometimes I hate that fair bone) he does raise a valid, if unanswerable question. The evidence in my life suggests it is too much to ask. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:48:54 AM | @beachdancer
Because humanity is a vast mass of diversity. Because we are all so different that odds are that there aren't really that many people around like us or who share enough traits that we'll click. Some people deal by dating endless numbers of 'not really a good match' types and others wait a long time to find someone.
I know. Not an encouraging answer. However, it doesn't mean it's impossible - it just means it requires patience and seeing/meeting a lot of people to get it right. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 6:52:31 AM |
I find myslef wondering the same thing. Why can't I find someone sorta like me?
I agree 100%. I don't think I'm that unique-lol. I really didn't think it would be this hard to find someone who has the the values/interests/personality traits as I do.... | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:56:11 AM | | I'd probably kill my "self" if I dated someone just like me! And think how boring it would be if your SO agreed with EVERYTHING you said & did...where's the challenge? | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:07:05 AM |
Fresno?? That explains it
 (Geography certainly is the cruelest twist of fate that been handed my direction.)
~ OT ~ I'll be alone before I diss my personal preferences. Been there, did the whole "compromise" thing and in the end? It was still just a polite word for settling. JMO  | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:24:27 AM | | I don't actually have any of the typical standards at all that everyone obsesses about... I don't care what someone's education is, what their quality of life is, if they smoke or don't smoke, if they do or do not have perfect teeth, what their aspirations and goals in life are, what their religion is, what their interests and hobbies are, and on and on it goes... I frankly do not give a flying/walking/running rat's ass about any of the things that everybody seems to feel is so important. I do not judge compatibility by insignificant details; it's all just red tape to me; it's all just trivial and circumstantial bullshit to me. Why? Because if you aren't emotionally compatible and intellectually compatible then you don't stand a chance of ever being happy together, not a chance in Hell... and that's regardless of whatever commonalities you may appear to have on the surface. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:31:03 AM | | Some might argue that one's interests and hobbies and aspirations can be a huge clue to one's being intellectually and emotionally compatible. How DO you define those, then, if not by what they DO or FEEL? | |
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