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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 10:39:08 AM |
Some might argue that one's interests and hobbies and aspirations can be a huge clue to one's being intellectually and emotionally compatible.
Some might? SOME might? Try the overwhelming vast majority... not just "some". I'm not wired the way 99.99999% of the people on this site are (and in the world are), the only thing it tells me about you if I know you like a certain author or a certain activity... is that you like that particular author or activity; it tells me nothing about *you*. I see the world as a very large box in which everyone lives, and I'm up here skipping around on top of it. I don't think like other people do. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:04:34 PM | I don't think like other people do.
And didn't answer the question, either. I doubt you are all that different, really. HOW DO YOU ASSESS A PERSON, if NOT by how they act and how they feel?
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Huh. hobbies=acts
aspirations=feelings
YOU are the daft one. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:09:29 PM |
HOW DO YOU ASSESS A PERSON, if NOT by how they act and how they feel?
Of course that's how I assess a person; that's exactly how I assess a person... duh? Miss the point much? What in the hell are you talking about?
This was your original point:
Some might argue that one's interests and hobbies and aspirations can be a huge clue to one's being intellectually and emotionally compatible.
I responded to that.
Later. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:10:43 PM | | except for the master's degree part, I think I meet all of your qualities and I will get my master's soon. But then why am I not even tiny bit interested in you ??? weird lol | |
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Sannia
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Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 180 | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:01:25 PM | | I would not recommend looking on the interweb for someone with those things. Let's face it, the majority of the people on dating sites are on here in the first place because they don't have those things. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:06:53 PM |
Some might argue that one's interests and hobbies and aspirations can be a huge clue to one's being intellectually and emotionally compatible. How DO you define those, then, if not by what they DO or FEEL?
The challenge is, how many are honest about what there true interest and hobbies are? I once had a great 2 yr relationship with a woman who shared my favorite interest... lounging, lovin', eating and world affairs... Met her thru a friend.
Do you think if I had met her on a dating site, she would have put loungin', lovin' and eating as her interest? I don't think so... It would've been family, reading, traveling, poetry, working out... Typical no?
I would probably have skimmed on to the next and missed out on two years of blissful compatability:) | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:47:40 PM | | I agree with your preferences, except for one point-my man needn't have the same career as me. Could broaden my horizons if he doesn't! One has to have patience and tenacity to weed through all of the inappropriate prospects, but, keep the faith. As long as you keep believing in you,and are clear on your intent, she is out there! Happy hunting! Wiyan | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/24/2009 9:09:21 PM | I want someone like me too. I have been married and I do have kids -- over 18 years of age. I smoke cigarettes and like dirty jokes.
Unfortunately all I seem to attract are 50 year old virgins or men who believe that romance can be found at the bottom of a gallon of bootleg red wine. Life is tough.  | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:14:13 AM | I think you are wrong in your thoughts on dating and prospective mates.
Find a woman who's "good" for you.
Is there for you, makes you "happy".
Don't go on about education, money they make, and whatnot.
Go for the "good" and "live".
Find that thing that your soul needs.
It's out there, don't judge so hastily. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 1:32:23 AM | This is a good old-fashioned flame fest, just 'cause someone dared to ask, "Please sir, can I have some more?" Give him a break, if he's even still on this site. The dude lives in Fresberg, where women probably get married and have kids a little earlier than in the big city. The guy wants only what he has to offer, so if he's "setting the bar high" you're actually paying him a high compliment. Cabrandon, you need to get your rear down here to Los Angeles. Keep me stocked with quality Mexican barley pop, and I'll let you have my cast-offs. Most of them are right there in your target zone or beyond, 'cause I'm a picky **stard like you, although it sounds like I get out a lot more.
First of all, you're a nerd, unless you haven't discovered the fact. Luckily, many of these women go for your type. Down here we've got yer basic actress/model/dancer/singer types, and some have graduate degrees in Theater, Film or Schmoozing. These women stay single in hopes of marrying a rich producer/director/scam artist one day, they rarely have kids, are in great shape, look dynamite, but their profession has plenty of ups and downs. Hey, five out of six ain't bad. I've got fresh numbers if you want 'em.
Going back in time, I used to be in academia. Here's where geeks such as yourself will clean up in short order. Now I don't know what your particular discipline is, but your social life here depends on it. Stay away from Communications, Theater, Film, Economics, Mathematics, and most of the hard sciences, unless you've got a gay streak. Male professors are in the majority there. Aim for the other Arts, Languages, Classics, Music, English and most of the remaining liberal arts/humanities majors. You'll find thin spinsters, er, unmarried degreed women without children galore, some with tenure, although most are average looking. Again, we're still battin' .800+ here, so give me some credit. I dated a few of these, but most had more leg hair than I do, and more than a few made Castro look conservative. Hey, you didn't mention hygiene or politics, guy. I'll direct you to their textbook signings. Even if you have zero social skills, you'll seem interesting by comparison.
Even further back, I worked for the gubment at an installation known for it's contributions to the space program. You want unmarried, in shape, no kids, average to slightly above average looks, advanced degrees and a secure profession? Back then it was Aerospace, baby. And these chicks had security clearances to boot. Today, they're about ready to retire the Space Shuttle, so it's anyone's guess if the level of funding will attract more space-babes to this job market. I can tell you that L.A. has orders of magnitude more aerospace firms than you do up there, so if they do show up, it'll be down here. I've dated my share of these female Carl Sagan-types. All I can say is "Far out." Their phone numbers may be classified now.
So don't compromise, or whine - just relocate. Luckily for you, I now sell real estate, so of course I'll be able to sell you a nice place smack dab between a few universities, movie studios and aerospace firms. We'll have you hookin' up with appropriate females in no time. Now just sign this here sales contract . . . | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 6:52:03 AM | well i KINDA understand.. you want someone who shares the same lifestyle as you...
but seriously, why do you want someone just like YOU? I mean c'mon....you are with YOU all the time! | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 8:58:31 AM |
Wow..I'm glad I don't live in LA
I was just going to post something about HIS post when I saw yours. Thank you, Jgirl. This is why I came online to begin with. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:37:14 AM | | I used to be in that demographic except yes I had made the mistake of an early marriage but no ties to him whatsoever. I found that single guys in my same demographic were few and far between anyway and they only wanted to party and party with barbie. Now, I tend to not seek men who say they have college degrees or think they have some "hot" job. I've been treated better by those who don't have all that. Lessons learned. So, even if I matched that age range, I wouldn't go for that type. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 11:52:08 AM | The thing here is you assume that somebody just like you, is going to make you happy.
It's a risky train service you're riding here. Time consuming. Your demographic is small and narcissistic, and with no certainty that it will even prove to be what you're craving.
Why not just go out, live life, meet people, and learn what you wish from the world by engaging in it, rather than calculating a stepford wife scenario.
The starting list is simple:
Compassion
Respect
Dignity
Of course I could be wrong and you know, that somebody with the things you listed will make you happy. However that would make you a first amongst the human race, actually knowing what truly makes you happy in matters of the heart (at least before you've found it anyway) | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/25/2009 2:47:02 PM | Sounds like you are already in love--with you.
No one is ever good enough for a narcissist. Not saying you are one but
there are a bunch of them on here.
And there are a low proportion of people on this site with a college degree much less a master's.
POF is probably not the venue for one such as yourself to find a match. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:54:36 PM | [So, I don't think it is wrong for me to ask my girl to have the similar values and even qualities I have.
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape. ]
You got what you asked for. With all the smarts you have you should know better. The world has changed, you're going to have to compromise, date a foreign girl or move to the moon. So if you're a virgin (likely), does she need to be? You could go to jail for that nowadays. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:10:56 PM | No way.. I talk about single moms all the time... they don't even give me a gratifying angry response.... I'll be pissed if you get one....
Dude... best thing you can do is enjoy what you've earned, don't drop your standards, and just generally look out for yourself... You don't need a dame for any of that... and by the way your standards are by no mean outlandish... Just be patient and don't consume yourself seeking something that will come along when you do not expect it. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/26/2009 9:05:45 PM | [So, I don't think it is wrong for me to ask my girl to have the similar values and even qualities I have.
Here is what I have:
I am single, never been married.
I have NO kids.
I have a master's degree.
I have a profession.
I am at least average or slightly above average looking.
I am in good shape. ]
Are you sure these are qualities. Having an education or a great job is not a quality. Other then money, how does your master's degree help a woman? It's not like educated people have better conversations or views on life. They watch the same crappy movies, make the same mistakes or do stupid things. The educated are not more successful at relationships than everyone else.
As for being in shape, this has become the biggest quality that women look for since overall hatred towards the overweight has become the new American pastime. | |
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| I Want Someone Like ME- is it too much to ask?
Posted: 9/26/2009 9:13:46 PM |
Going back in time, I used to be in academia. Here's where geeks such as yourself will clean up in short order. Now I don't know what your particular discipline is, but your social life here depends on it. Stay away from Communications, Theater, Film, Economics, Mathematics, and most of the hard sciences, unless you've got a gay streak. Male professors are in the majority there. Aim for the other Arts, Languages, Classics, Music, English and most of the remaining liberal arts/humanities majors. You'll find thin spinsters, er, unmarried degreed women without children galore, some with tenure, although most are average looking. Again, we're still battin' .800+ here, so give me some credit. I dated a few of these, but most had more leg hair than I do, and more than a few made Castro look conservative. Hey, you didn't mention hygiene or politics, guy. I'll direct you to their textbook signings. Even if you have zero social skills, you'll seem interesting by comparison.
Ooooo you funny (says clean academic woman with nice smooth legs...am tempted to add gorgeous, witty, and great in bed, but won't).
Anyway, OP I don't think you are unreasonable, but I'm going to echo what others have said in a way (I direct you to crazylilting's post, somewhere back there, among others), in pointing out that the list you provide doesn't actually say anything about you, much less about the kind of woman you really want. I know you THINK you are describing a certain "quality" type, but in reality all you are really saying about yourself is that you have a Master's Degree and a decent job. Well, I have a PhD and a decent job, but in no way does that mean that I am too "good" for men who haven't conducted their lives according to MY path....in other words, I could IMPROVE on your list, making a 43 year-old version of YOU not good enough for me....but that's STUPID. What kind of person only values others who have mimicked their own behavior?
I know LOTS of people (male and female) who fit most or all of these criteria of yours (and they aren't all academics by any means, Mr Catch). But those criteria are NOT what determines their value as individuals (and there are some very well-educated and very affluent jerks out there, of both sexes). Sure, it's good to want someone with ambition (if you have it yourself) and financial stability, but that does not mean that the things that make people compatible can be itemized. So....if you really WANT to find a partner, and yet are REALLY unwilling to get to know women who fail to "measure up" in terms of your list then you are defeating yourself. I never had a list like you, but in fact I DID marry what could be seen as my male counterpart in the "list" stakes--same educational level, same profession, same age, neither of us ever married, no kids....etc..... when I was just a couple of years younger than you are now. And yet, we divorced....and why? Because in the end we were really completely DIFFERENT when it came to much more important things than the things that look good "on paper" that we had in common.
Yes, we all want people we find attractive and ADMIRE for their accomplishments and there is NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. But the MOST important things that you are ever going to find in a partner are KINDNESS, COMPASSION, and a capacity to LOVE hugely. You may not realize this but no matter who you think you are and who you marry, there WILL be things about you that she will have to love you DESPITE (and vise versa), and none of the things on your list will help with that. | |
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