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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/3/2005 3:24:06 PM | thats one thing I LOVE to do when my kids are away rusfeline... is to change things a little.... my kids come PUSHING into the house when they get home and running around to see what I've done different... even the simplest of things like new towels in the bathroom.. or a new poster on their wall... they spot it all.. every single time.
I love doing those things for them.. and it also gives me the satisfaction of knowing I did it myself.. and how much enjoyment they'll get from it when they get home.
keep it up girl.... You'll do JUST fine...*s* hugsssssssssssssssssssssssss | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/3/2005 7:36:11 PM |
I could use some support from other parents, that had ever have to let their babies go.
How about some support and thoughts from one that never had any children? I consider your heartache a blessing, one I oft times wish I'd have had a chance to experience. You have memories I'll never have, finger prints on walls that I always longed to clean. My closest experience was being ten years old when, being the third after a sister and brother, all closely born. My little brother was born and 'saved' me from being the baby of the family.
Long story short, I know you're hurting, I don't need to have had children to know that. Your words, the words of others, brought blurred eyes tonight. You have a treasure coming home to you soon. One that will be wiser and more loved than before, missed more than any words can explain. Be forever thankful you have one coming back, I know that you are.
All by best thoughts and wishes for you and your family. Use your alone time to think of all the fun she and your Mother are having. She's in good hands sweet lady, didn't 'she' also raise you? | |
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EA
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Joined: 5/1/2005
Msg: 29 | |
| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/4/2005 4:56:39 AM | Darlin', you know the old saying...."motherhood doesn't come with a manual". If it did, we'd be able to handle these things as easy as getting an oil change or fixing the washing machine!
The opportunity you have just given you daughter is something she will NEVER forget. Not just the trip, but the experience too.
At times like these, don't our own parents start to make a little more sense? (don't tell my folks I said that. lol).
Although you might not want to hear this just now, try taking time for yourself. Yes...I know...it's not easy (heck...it's damn near impossible sometimes). But, in the long run it will be beneficial for both you and your daughter. When my ex and I were together I did everything for all of them (and I mean EVERYTHING!). When the kids started going for their visits with their dad, I found I had nothing to do. My entire life was him and the kids. Now, I felt as if I had nothing. I know a weekend here, a weekend there, and a couple of weeks in the summer is nothing like 2 months, but it does have the same feelings though.
But, I've learned to enjoy my "alone time". Think of something you've always wanted to do and give it a whirl! And don't forget...it's ok to feel guilty about having a good time without your daughter...it's "part and parcel" of being a mom. But don't hang on to that feeling for long. Your daughter would WANT you to have fun, not wallowing while she away.
Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now (sshhheeesshhh!) lol. Hang in there...summer will be over before you know it and she'll be back. I'm sure she'll be expecting some interesting stories from you...so go out and start some! | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/4/2005 12:56:58 PM | >>>>> pandy
Thank you!
You post just added to my growing assuarance that no matter how hard it is - we have to do what's best for our kids...
Like I mentioned before - Moms are all about sacrifice...
I wish to think so was just as easy as to write it...
HUGS! | |
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TGIF
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Joined: 6/24/2005
Msg: 33 | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/4/2005 1:38:43 PM | It has been three days now - three days are put behind and three lonely mornings are dealt with.
I always blamed myself for spending too much time working, thus cutting on precious time with my daughter. Yesterday I realized - now that she is gone and my working schedule is still the same - all that free time that I suddenly got - showed me that her being around is a huge part of my life.
Being a working single Mom, I never knew a break since a moment of getting up and the moment when the last sandwich is made, and the lunch box is in the fridge and it is time to lay down before the alarm will inform me yet of another day of neverending race.
EA is absolutely right. I need time for myself. Because my girl needs a happy Mom. She will need me for many years to come. So I am not really doing any good by crying myself out to sleep and letting my giref take over my actions.
You people continue to help me not just to cope with my sadness, but most importantly - you help me to look at this essential part of my life in a new way. The way I never thought possible - the way that really helps me to get from selfish Mom to a Mom who is the best friend to her daughter and wants her the best only.
Actually, I am becoming very proud now. I made my Mother so happy.
May be, I will never have a better chance to thank her for a great job of bringing me up - but to let her be so young again as my daughter is a full clone of me - from gestures to looks (even height, complexion - just like when i was 11).
My Mom said, she even caught herself calling my daughter with my name.
I am more convinced now - I' ve done the right thing.
The biggest part of that belongs to you, people. To your warm hearts. Thank you!
OK... better take a trip to hardware store - see what shades of blue they have there. I think I am starting to think that blue is the coolest color. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/4/2005 2:42:03 PM | I'm so glad to read how well everything is going for you, your daughter, your mom. Yes, blue is very cool.
Now here is the ironic part of this thread. I always have my 2 children 50% of the time, the other 50% of the time they are with their mother. But in the summer, we each get extended periods with them so that we can take vacations, and do things while they are out of school. Well, I have just had them for the last 3 weeks. Tomorrow morning, when I have to go back to work, I'll drop them off at their mother's house, and I won't see them until next monday. After being with them so much, just the thought of 'giving them up' and not seeing them for a week is already causing my stomach to tighten in a knot, and I find myself realizing how much I'll miss them! It gives me a new appreciation for what you have just gone through (and are actually still in the middle of)
So I think I'll be revisiting some of these posts for inspiration myself in the days to come... and reminding myself of some of the things I have tried to tell you...
Take care - and as always - feel free to write whenever you want to...
just me | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/4/2005 6:34:48 PM | musicman >>>>
I will be more than glad if this thread will become that much needed support for parents that have to part with their children.
I don't want to go too deep into philosophy here, however, it is unfair that life creates situations which lead to the separation of children and their parents.
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I picked out navy blue for the lower walls and greish-blue for the top (and some matching wallpaper for the South side of the room). I think it will look great.
Also I stopped at the pet store and picked up a couple of fuzzy balls for the cat - that one looks sad, but ate today - which is good. Life is slowly adjusting us to a quiet house.
64 more days to go. | |
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kloopy
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Joined: 6/11/2005
Msg: 37 | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:53:47 AM | kloopy >>>>
Dear...
I am sure everyone that shared their thoughts here will be very happy to know that it was all for the great cause.
I was just thinking yesterday - may be this thread will remind someone to pick up the phone and call their parents.
Say Hi to your Mom from me!
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63 mornings to go. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/5/2005 12:21:13 PM | poor you.....(seriously)
i know how you feel each summer, i let my daughter go for 3 months. who would of thought suffering was an area attained in parenthood.......ah well, keep your chin up, just kiss a picture, and go do something for your self, yeah i know, its hard to, you think you need to be doing something at home, you feel hollow, like you serve no purpose, always that mystery something in the back of your mind giving you no peace, 3 months for the past 7 years has been full of it | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/5/2005 12:26:53 PM | >>>> theone48060
You hit the nail on the head:
you think you need to be doing something at home, you feel hollow, like you serve no purpose, always that mystery something in the back of your mind giving you no peace
Could not have said better.
Thank you! | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 4:08:41 PM | rusfeline, about 13 years ago, when my children were 8,7 and 5, I had to send them on an extended visit to family for about 4 months while I was going through radiation and chemo. It was SOOOO hard to do that! But I guess not as hard as trying to explain why mommy could not play, was real skinny, and her hair was falling out.
I do feel for you, so much. When your children are your life it is so hard to say goodbye, even for a short time, but that is part of being a parent too. Sometimes we hurt so they don't have to. Your daughter is having a wonderful time and getting an invaluable experience, not too mention that you have sent your little bit of sunshine to brighten someone else's life for a short while!
Hang in there! She will be home soon!  | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 5:17:34 PM | >>>>> undercover blonde
You were a real hero than, 13 years ago... Great work! I wish with all my heart the illness went away completely.
I went to a lake yesterday - anything to keep me away from the house. First thought - oh my, SHE would have enjoyed it so much.
Hard to realize that for now I am a Mom in my thoughts.
It has been over 11 years, there were times when I tried to remember how it was - to be free from motherhood. Now I get too much of that. I don't think I am enjoying it though.
Small vacation - like a two day stay in the kids camp - that could probably been easier.
But I did what I did, I know her and my Mother are the happiest people now. Just can't really cope with it.
Thank you for your support! | |
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Webbum
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Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 44 | |
| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 6:35:00 PM | I had the same experience watching my 10 year old boy get on a plane by himself to visit his Mom.
My son gave me a kiss on the lips and two huge hugs. I had my hand on the glass watching him get on the plane. I watched the plane take off and disappear in the sky. A great sadness came over me.
I had to go through this experience again last week.
My house is very quiet.
I feel for you. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 7:16:55 PM | >>>>> Webbum
I think the very picture of the plane disappearing bothered me the most as far as my visual impressions went.
And I wasn't kidding - I still look at the sky even though she is not on the plane anymore. But this is the only way back for her.
Thank you for sharing your feelings. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 8:13:02 PM | I have 48 days till my son returns. He has been gone for 29 days.
I have heard about all the fun he is having and all the new experiences he is getting. When he got on the plane I couldn't look out the window, it was to hard to see him leave. I still look at the calendar to see when he will be home. I can here him growing up over the phone and am mad I am missing it, yet I know this is the only way he would have gotten his independance back. I don't know how much his hand has improved and I can tell his speech is getting better. I just want to see him and hold him to know just how much he is growing. 13 years of never being more then a phone call away, and I could be by his side and now he's so far and I have to trust someone else to know what is right for him. His glasses were falling apart and my sister had to fix them. His hearing aids are falling apart and she is the one getting it fixed. She is even the one making him work his hand, I know she is pushing him as I would if not more, but I want to be the one doing it. I want to be there when he can get the smallest rubber band out of the bowl of beans. I want to be there when he's feeling under the weather.......
Sorry for rambling, but I truely know what it's like to have to give him his space to grow up, but even at 13 he's my little boy and with all he's been through it's still hard to trust someone else to take good care of him. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 9:04:38 PM | pool_anyone>>>>
You also hit the painful spot here - I think I am also upset partially that she is growing there without me. For the whole 60 + days.
I know that at this age every day spent together is important.
And to a girl at 11 and a half anything can happen as she is at the stage of intense physical changes.
I want to be the first (as I always been) when she seeks help and advice.
I know my Mom would do the best job if needed.
But I want to be the one who is always there.
This is hard.
Here is a hug to you.
This is all I can offer right now.
Let's wait for our kids to come home. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/7/2005 10:21:09 PM | Rusfeline
Just know you are not alone. We have to give them room, yet it is so hard to do.
Here we are worried and feeling lost and they are having a blast and loving all they are seeing. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 7/8/2005 8:15:18 PM | >>>>> pool_anyone
Thank you.
Because the worst pain right now is cause by loneliness...
Car is a huge helper.
Became some kind of a pot of Gold - cause she is HER cat.
My best friend is going to stay at my house now for two nights, as I have to go on a business trip - just so the cat will be fed and watered... and kept company.
LOL
Good to have single best friends...
thank God for work - three days will just fly by...
61 days to go.
Hugs,
RusFeline | |
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| get over it!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 7/9/2005 2:05:12 AM | well im sorry to talk like this but that sounds like ur daughter is dead. not just with her grandparents in europe. everyone lets their kids go at one point or another. trust me i think i should know. im in cps custody and apparently they didnt care or cared too much and they had to let me go. so not to be mean or rude or a hippocrit. get over it. shit happens
email me if u want to yell at me for this message. | |
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