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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:37:56 AM | >>>> musicman
Thank you. I think they worked it out, because in my convers with her last night everything seemed to be great again and I was told that they both went to the store and bought me a surprise gift. No matter how hard I tried, my child did not reveal the secret. Oh, she is growing up everyday and now it seems that she is doing that twice as fast because she is away. Just some short time ago she could not keep any secrets from me.
I am happy in a way.
I am so busy with work now - that keeps me away from the house all the time.
When I told her that I had to board our cat for two weeks, because I hardly spend time at home between trips, my daughter sounded very concerned and asked if the animal hostel was clean enough. She loves that cat so much...
I feel a little guilty - but on the other hand, like I said - this work hours make time fly faster.
I am off again. Yesterday spent 4 hours getting from Banff to Calgary - something happened in Kananaskis country and they closed the major highway. Usually it takes only an hour.
So hardly had any sleep as I had to take my group to the airport early this morning. Didn't even notice how few last days flew by.
And it is now 35 days to go.
2 more days and we will be half-ways of being apart.
But I still can't get rid of the feeling that I am missing too much without her.
Hugs to you,
thank you so much for making me smile.
Thank you for keeping my spirits up.
Feline. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/2/2005 8:42:58 AM | >>>> ottoschmit
Wow, this is so sweet of you to come and post here :)
Thank you my dear for finding a second and finding my thread.
I will be looking forward to chatting with you sometimes after 12-th, when I will have finally a few days off.
Thanks for sweet advice!
Glück wünschen,
Feline | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/2/2005 11:32:32 AM | I'm so glad that your time is going quickly for you! :) She will be home in no time! I can't believe summer is half over!
Just imagine her face as she gets off that plane and proudly hands you your suprise gift! Awwww! It will be priceless! | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/5/2005 1:17:06 PM | I don't really know what to do now.
Today my Mom phoned and told me that she exchanged the ticket to 10-th.
She explained doing that because the 10-th is on the weekend, so that I don't have to take a day off, and because my daughter was going to go to school on Monday anyways.
I don't care about taking a day off - I want to see my daughter the sooner the better.
My Mom s always been like that... What kills me - she never even asked me before doing that!
I know it's only three days, but this is MY daughter we talking about! Besides I wanted her to spend few days here before she goes back to school - to get her back into schedule, let her adjust to time change, etc. We also have to do our back to school shopping - I don't want to do that without her.
I am so upset, I can't even do anything. And this was my only free day as I am leaving tomorrow again. Bunch of things should be done - but I am just sitting here, upset, lonely and so mad...
So... it was supposed to be only 32 days to go, but now it's 35.
So... all the cheerful mood I got from working like crazy and letting the days fly by and make me closer to seeing my princess again, have disappeared.
The worst thing is that my daughter didn't mind this change, because Granma promised her to spend those extra days shopping for a new cell phone, clothes and an iPOD. This is such a strike upon my pride! It's like I can't get those things for her (she doesn't even need a new cell phone!)... Cheap trick.
Oh, Boy...
This is one very unhappy day... | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/6/2005 6:16:01 AM | Oh Feline,
I don't really know what to say to all of this - probably because I don't know enough about your relationship with your mom...
It is OK for you to be upset about what has been done by your mom though... I would be... maybe she's just having such a wonderful time with your daughter, she wanted to make it last as long as possible? Perhaps she is thinking it may be a long time before they see each other again... but - she certainly could have handled the situation better.
However, don't be 'extra' upset or hurt that your daughter doesn't mind the change in plans. She is at the age where kids are like that - if you start dangling nice 'stuff' in front of them - it's sooooo hard to pass up. And she is still young enough to rationalize it by thinking "it's just a couple of days, mommy won't mind - and I get all of this COOL stuff!" Again, I understand how you are feeling, and I don't blame you - but it's NOT a reflection on how your daughter truly feels about you, so don't let it affect you as if it is... Heck - I still get my feelings hurt sometimes because my 11 year old would rather play with his friends than with me!
Maybe I'm just rambling here trying to be helpful, but I'm sure that you know how I feel about things...
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/7/2005 9:19:54 PM | Feline:
I totally agree with Musicman...I am sooo sorry that you have been hurt and upset over this decision that your mother made without consulting you. Just know that we are all still here for ya those extra 3 days.
I am happy to say that my baby girl made it home safely yesterday from her week visit with her dad. I know now I worried over her dad possibly not bringing her home - but he told me that everyday she asked him when she was gonna get to go home to "momma". I think he has realized that she doesn't want to live with him after all (well not at the present time anyway).
35 days, Feline they will go by before you even know it. We are all here and I have enjoyed sharing in your thread. Thank you for allowing us to share in your journey of waiting for the return of your baby girl. 
Bonita | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/8/2005 4:01:08 PM | Oh, Feline, I'd be pretty upset with my mother, too! (sigh) She probably wasn't even thinking about how it would affect you. Any chance she could change the ticket to the original date?? Might be something to bring up with her, and to explain you feel that your daughter needs a couple of more days to adjust to being home before school starts.
Yeah...all the neato stuff dangled in front of your daughter really is too much for a child to resist, like musicman said. It doesn't mean anything more than she wants the stuff! lol What kid wouldn't?
I know how you've been counting the days, and look how far you've made it! If you go back and read your first post, it may give you a little perspective about how much time has actually passed...and that you're OK, she's OK, and every minute that ticks by is one more minute closer to having her back home.
HEY! I need a new cell phone, clothes, and an iPOD! I say we get her home on time, I'll hurry and take her place, and maybe the old folks won't notice the difference. It's a win/win for everyone! 
Keep your chin up, girl!
-sparkle | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/11/2005 9:32:27 PM | Oh, my LORD!
It is so nice to be home...
What was supposed to be a three day easy trip turned into almost a week away from home.
The worst thing was that I forgot my cell phone charger. So I had to rush things to get to the hotel every night. So that I could talk to her.
I am dead tired right now - just dropped in to read your precious messages.
Will give full details tomorrow.
I need some sleep... Dead tired.
But... only 29 to go now!!! | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/20/2005 1:26:59 AM | WOW
It has been a while, really...
Not for a second have I forgotten this thread, or the warmth that you people had generously given to me through your wonderful words of support.
Just as I thought I was getting a couple nights off and was making plans to finish rennovations and overall, prepare the house for her arrival, I'd get yet another phonecall half ways to home.
Like, I was already in Golden, B.C., so close to home, but suddenly I had to go back to Vancouver to pick up yet another group.
What has changed in the past three weeks? Nothing, absolutely nothing. What I've learnt - is no job, no matter how much of your life it possesses, can take your heart away from the heavy thoughts. In fact, it has only gotten worse.
So, the first lesson I definetely learnt - never let your child go for extended period of time, unless totally needed. Especially, when they are as young as mine. Every day counts. Every day. From what I've learnt over the phone, I realized I missed at least two very important steps in her social development.
Second lesson - do not let your child go away for an extended period of time if the destination is you Mom's house, taken that you and your Mom never could really get along. I know now that my girl is coming home spoiled rotten and I will have to put a lot of effort to bring her back into boundaries I had set. Also, I received a fair amount of comments upon my parenting form Grandmother, and none of them matched my thoughts of what I had thought was good parenting on my side.
Third lesson - use the time you get while the children are away not for just your own pleasure, but for analyzing the relationship, for realizing what things you had missed doing together, or, v.v. - what things you should have cut a bit on doing.
Last night when I came back - I treated myself to a movie. It was weird - going to the movies all by myself. But you know what? I was scared to get into my house, that was empty for almost three weeks now. So, I went. I am so used to going to the movies with her - I mean, the choice is limited, if there any 14 a or so rating, I d wait for a DVD release or go on a date (hmm... that happened too! LOL). But I chose the movie that me and her could have watched together. what really s%%ked, that I had nobody to discuss it with. And my girl, despite her young pre-tennage years, has a keen eye for some details of our adult life. I know for sure - i don't want to see that movie for the second time - nothing wrong, just... well, you know, Hollywood is not all that great sometimes. But I know she would like to see it because all her peers will definitely watch it. So, I wasted one more precious chance of discovering something new together.
So I learnt a lesson # 4 - save the experiences you think you will enjoy with your child till the child is actually able to share them with you.
Oh, boy... this is turning into one helluva long message...
But I missed you people a lot and I haven't really had a chance to post anything - usually dead tired, saving the lastest efforts to sound cheerful on the phone with her...
I think I managed, however, to reflect the most important thoughts for now.
It is 20 days to go...
I am sure now I have done a WRONG thing.
One month would have been enough for learning experiences.
Honestly, that's what I think.
So, please listen to me and think twice before letting children go away for an extended period of time (like I said, unless absolutely needed to do so).
20 days... Seems like the sand is endless in my hourglass... | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/20/2005 6:59:47 AM | Isn't it funny how we think about certain things in our daily lives...and this thread is one of them. I wonder how refuseline is doing, I wonder how is her daughter doing? I was even thinking how many more days to go??? LOL
A couple of monthes ago...you had no answers to your questions...is this too long, am i doing the right thing. I honestly believe things happen for a reason. It drives me nuts waiting to find out why thou...live lessons are amazing, good or bad, I have learned to embrace them all. I believe, that when we make mistakes (not saying you did) but when we make mistakes, that is when we do our most personal growth. To take that moment to stand back, and look at the big picture, see what we did wrong and learn from that.
I feel happy for you, when your daughter comes home, there will be so much growth and learning from one another. Take advantage of learning from your daughter, she will have much to teach you...about yourself, and about her. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 8/28/2005 6:55:42 AM | By my count, it is now down to under 2 weeks, isn't it? Is the anticipation starting to build yet? Does this make it easier? Or are the days starting to pass more slowly? You've almost made it!
All the best to you. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 8/29/2005 9:18:49 PM | Oh, Lord!
It is so nice to be home, to get back into normal, settled life.
It has been one summer I will remember forever.
I ran away from pain of missing my child and my getaway was work, that consisted of nothing, but constant travelling.
Now I am home. Now I am back to normal, stable routine.
Now I am back to rennovations that almost two months due to be finished.
This weekend I will pick my cat up from her boarding. Will be another inch closer to the life I gave up two months ago.
Yes, these two months have flown by unnoticeably now that I look at it.
Huge phone bills later, I am getting closer to the day, when I will be at the airport not for the purpose of picking up yet another tour group, but to stretch my arms to cover the whole world that my baby will bring back to me.
And yes, my arms and eyes will be glued to the sky once again, untill the metallic voice of the airport dispatch will ease my heart with announcement "flight has arrived".
These last days appear to be the worst, as I always lacked patience. Now that the day of her comeback is so close, every minute is being counted again.
I lost my sleep. My mind paces through a thousand things - what we are going to do once we be together again. I think we will end up just laying on my bed and talking, talking, talking.... And I crave more than ever now to hug her, to touch her, to hear her voice next to me, not over the phone.
Now I feel bad when I talk to my Mom. She grabs the phone more and more often. And cries... This is a mystery to me that I don't even hope to solve anymore. Why is it so painful to me to realize how sad my Mom will become now? I wrote before - I never got along with my Mom, we were never close. Yet, listening to her cry as she fears the day she will have her only granddaughter go, tears my heart apart.
She has offered me to keep her till Christmas. Her explanation :"you never had any rest, you need to get on with your personal life", so on... It's like my rest or my personal life ever been the major issue to me...
I am being polite. I understand my Mom is old and I don't want to hurt her - after all, SHE IS MY MOTHER, who did raise me, who made me what I am in some way... Despite all the bad she never gave me up, or refused to fulfill her motherly duties. So, i leave judgement to higher powers.
Just that on top of being so happy, I am sad once again.
May be it's just my puppy heart, that has become so tough to the outside world, is by (once again) mysterious higher choice will never become tough on my Mother... well, on my Parents.
It is only 12 days to go...
I bought my daughter all bunch of stuff that girls her age love, but I feel more like buying something for my Mom... Something that money can't buy, and if they can - I will never have enough for such purchase - I want to buy her neverending happiness and another chance to start it over again with a little girl, her daughter.
Oh, well. I think I have said enough sad words here. However, it has always been my heart that did the talking in this thread.
One thing I know for sure - always be the only one in charge of your child. Set the limits, set the communication boundaries. Otherwise it will be just as painful as this summer was for me.
I would really appreciate to hear from you, my dear people!
You have been with me through these two painful months of my life.
I would really love you to join me on the big day, just 12 sleeps away. If I manage to fall asleep...
I love you all,
very thankful,
trully yours,
Feline. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/1/2005 3:32:03 PM | Well Feline, it has been a very interesting journey following this thread. Interesting to see how many things have happened in my own life along the way as well.
I find it fascinating to look back and see how differently your experience has all turned out from what you had expected way back at the beginning of it all. To see all of the twists and turns along the way, the ups and downs, happiness and sadness. It's interesting to see how an experience that was very much about you and your daughter at the start, has become very much equal parts about you and your mom at the end.
Or perhaps, I shouldn't say at the end, because when you look back, I don't think you'll see this whole adventure as something with a beginning and an end. Rather, it will be just a link in the chain, inevitably connected to all that went on before, and undeniably affecting all that will come after. You have experienced a lot of emotional turmoil, you have come through it, and you have learned a great deal along the way.
I have enjoyed being a very small part of it, and if ever I was any help to you at all, then for that - I am truly happy - and grateful to you for having shared with us.
Take care, give your daughter hugs... | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/2/2005 7:59:09 PM | >>>>> musicmanpvb
Not even close to being a "very small part".
A huge part.
A world-size part.
I thank you for that.
You gave me support and you helped me to think (rather than just getting along) through these past two months.
It's hard to describe what's going on in my mind right now.
It is now only seven nights left.
I start smiling at the thought of it.
However, tracking the latest news in regards of world-wide hike of fuel prices caused by the tragedy in Gulf, I am fearing any possibilty of flight being cancelled, postponed, etc.
May sound stupid. But I am so tired of waiting for her.
7 nights (note, I don't even count days anymore).
Nights are the worse. Because I go through a real matinee in my mind before I manage to fall asleep. Now that I am back home, where everything is her. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/3/2005 8:15:02 PM | Rennovations are finished now.
The paint is drying up.
The remainer of the long weeken I will spend contiuning preparation for her arrival.
I am fearing the hike of airline prices now due to the tragedy in the Gulf.
Tomorrow I will finally pick the cat up from the pet hotel.
Also, today I posted an invitation to provide shelter for 2 people, but I doubt they will go as far as Calgary.
I am hoping we will be able to help.
6 nights.
For some reason I feel scared. It's not the rise of the ticket price. I read in the news today that three of the luxury cruise ships had to cancel their schedule so that they could provide some temporarily shelter to those in need after Katrina.
I just want to see my baby home with me and then we will put some more effort to help.
Like I said, I hope I will be able to provide shelter.
This summer made me quite a bit different from what I used to be. I am certainly much more appreciative of the time we get to spend with loved ones. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/4/2005 2:12:56 AM | | I am new to this site and I just wanted to tell you I admire your stength. I have a lot of trouble letting my daughter go for a night let alone longer. I hope when the day comes for my daughter to take wings and fly, be it for a short trip or a long one, I can display the strength that you have. Hang in there. You are almost there. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/4/2005 10:38:08 AM | ...I am so excited for you...I can't wait till the end of this and your daughter is home!!!
LOL, I can't believe it's been this long. take care and hang in there!!! | |
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Emma24
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 121 | |
| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 9/4/2005 2:51:26 PM | hey rusferine
hope you are doing at least ok since your sunshine is away from you
but I'm very proud of you , you did great and you know what september is here so she is as good as home right (where in europe is she if I may know)
P.S. I'm sorry to hear about your husband, but I dont think he is really gone I believe that he is watching over you and your sunshine | |
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Emma24
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Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 122 | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/4/2005 9:49:36 PM | >>>> mswings
Thank you so much for the great words of support!
I never knew I could be this strong. But I don't want to be this strong ever again. Even when she grows up and will be set to leave my home one day for her own, new life, I will make sure I will not be so far apart with my baby.
I learnt a lot this summer.
God Bless you and your Daughter. | |
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| I want to hug the whole sky. My daughter is there now.
Posted: 9/4/2005 9:59:25 PM | >>>> emma24
Thank you!
My little traveller has actually been to more places in last two months that I had in in last ten years.
Finland, Poland, Sweden, Germany, Russia and Switzerland - that was her journey, mostly planned by my Mom, who had plans on a huge European Tour for quite a while.
But I want to believe that the most exciting journey is yet to come - 8 hours on the plane that will bring her into my arms.
I think about it every every second.
I went to school last Friday to pick up her itinerary, etc.
Everyone, starting with principal, asked: "How is she? I bet, you missed her a lot".
I missed her a lot? That's to say nothing.
Oh, God, just please make it so that there will be no more delays or unexpected circumstances.
Please bring my baby home.
165 hours left. | |
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| I soon be hugging the sky again.
Posted: 9/4/2005 10:05:53 PM | >>>>>> Dream_walker223
To be very honest with ya.... I can't believe it's been so long either...
But... Lol... you made me smile - you can't wait "till the end of this"?
I actually want "this" to never end...
This has been such a heart warming, such a great experience...
Such help...
I mean this thread of course - I am sure you did too...
Smile!
This has been trully a great thread... I will definitely share it with my baby when she comes home.
You take care!
Thanks a bunch and the Best in Everything! | |
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