| too long single
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:30:32 PM | i talk to lasses i like, i find it easy to get on with them only to find it turns into the whole friends thing where they trust you but only want to talk about the guys they like and how to get them advice.
man im going through the same thing,you just are trying to hard man an its wearn you out man,just relax enjoy life all u can do | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/23/2009 3:40:38 PM | I have been single my entire life.
I am going to hunt down cupid and shoot the little ****er right between the eyes. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 6:57:32 AM | | I've been single for 3 years, everytime I try and get close to a lasse things just go wrong and I turn into a friend or just someone they can sleep with once or twice and then ditch when it suits them. The worst situation happened last year, my best friend and his fiancee broke up she treated me like i was a serrogate father for her daughter. I honestly cared about her, but when i tried to explain that things didnt feel right she told me to go to hell. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:13:30 AM | I celebrate being single , I can do whatever i want, when I want. I don't look at it as a bad thing.
If you enjoy being single, do the things that please you, take care of yourself, you can just be selfish at this point, then I find because you have taken care of yourself, emotionally that is people will be attracted to the new confident, happy person that you have become rather than being sad that you are still single, people are attracted to happy, confident people, good luck and don't forget just because people are in a long term relationship doesn't mean that they are happy. Good Luck. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:15:16 PM | If they don't want you in their heart or their loins as a lover, you'll know that very quickly (like in the first 5 minutes). If you want it to be more, you have to behave in the first 5 minutes like you want it to be more...and then can be accepted or rejected right there, but at least you've been honest, with yourself and with her, and spared yourself the torment of "the friend zone", if you want to be more than just friends.
If accepted, if your d--k's hard, great--quickly seduce her, find a place and get into some hot and heavy action with her, and let the "relationship" chips fall where they may. If rejected, you can then decide whether you're happy being the dumpee hearing about all the A-holes she's banging. If you're not happy there, say "whoop--gotta go" and leave. It's all about happiness. You obviously require sex with someone you adore (don't we all).
Be conversationally aggressive, and, if you'd like things to lead to sex, tell her how beautiful she is and try to move things in that direction. Don't let her dominate the conversation with depressing woes. I think what's happening here is she talks over you blah blah blah.
We humans, male and female, really need to divorce the concepts of sex from friendship in our minds. Great if there's a healthy dose of both, but they are two completely separate entities. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:34:20 PM | Wow I've never been single more than a couple of months.
Some poor suckers have gone years without a relationship and I assume that means no sex either.
No thanks | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:07:45 PM | I've been single now for about two weeks (two month relationship).
Before that, I was single for 3 months (this was a two year relationship).
Before that, I was single for 1.5 years (five month relationship. After it was over, I focused on school and friends--then found my two year boy).
Before that.... I don't remember. Two other relationships thrown in there, from back in high school.
Yeah, the loneliness sucks at times, but I've decided I want to be single for a while. I'm tired of going from one failed relationship to the next.... My "I want to be in love" mindset has just completely shut off after this last heartbreak. The only thing I miss? Sex. I'm focusing now on: Finishing my degree, making new friends, and then getting into the military (possibly trying out the Peace Corps, too). Too much I want to do to waste time on a dead-end relationship. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:46:48 PM | The last few relationships, my picker was definitely broken and I settled.
Yeah...being single sometimes sucks, but I have WAY too much going on in my life now to settle. I'll stay single until Ms. Right catches up to me!!  | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 5:11:16 PM | apparently, 'everybody' has trouble finding someone from time to time TRJ.
getting pissed isn't really going to help....or move you in the right direction.
You are talking to women....are you dating women? It's hard , if not impossible to go from a chat to a full blown relationship.
Some people move on faster than others....the fact that your ex did..shouldn't concern you....she may be needier...who knows.
But, there is also something going on that you are probably not fully conscious of....and that is....we all may 'dream' about the great relationship....but if you are single, and have been single for a bit....then there is a 'part' of you that wants to be single...
maybe for a bit longer. Maybe for a good long time. There is always a reason for relationship. And , no, the reason is not to have one....just to have one.
Things happen in their own time
don't worry so much about it....
Life is still going on...right?
regards
~ Kimbo ~
 | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 5:22:05 PM | | Just thought I'd enter the conversation. I've been single for 40 years now-that's my age. I've never even held hands with a man. Devastating? Yes. For me, it has been. I've always been more interested in sex than all my friends put together, but no man I've cared about has ever accepted me. I just met a man here whom I thought I could care about-and what do you know? Just found out last night he's already met someone! Right now I am feeling shocked and grief-stricken. I've tried so hard all my life, but nothing ever works out. You'd think by now I'd be over it, but it seems with every rejection, it gets harder to accept. I don't know what to do. I'm very low, very down. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:32:51 PM | | that sucks, former poster, I would wish with all my heart that everyone too long single finds someone expecially you, | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:38:38 PM | | Stop looking and be yourself.Be as happy as you can be,it will happen. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/25/2009 2:23:51 PM | I've had this trouble with just being friends before. When you're stuck in that zone you're really in a bind, and it's probably best to forget about a relationship with that particular person (Or, if you want something from them, lose all contact for 6 months, reinvent yourself and reintroduce yourself as a new, better person. It would probably be advisable not to bother though and just move onto someone else.)
You have to show someone you've not known too long that you ARE a sexual being. If you're interested in them, tease them. Be fun. Get into the habit of being one of those kind of people who hug or touch others naturally. Pat people on the arm, give high fives when someone does something cool and other naturally occurring touches. Non sexual touches can make people comfortable with you touching them without them filing a restraining order and without it seeming forced, especially if it's just a part of who you are.
Be careful not to go out, meet someone and instantly hug them though. You could get in trouble. When meeting new people ALWAYS introduce yourself with a firm, but gentle, handshake. No crushed hand bones people! They won't date you!
I've used some of this myself and have had a few women show interest in me, but I wasn't really into them (except this one absolutely BEAUTIFUL girl... but she was engaged, lol. Go figure.) To me, the approaching women part is difficult. If I could just FIND myself in conversations I'd do fine, lol.
Don't use any of this to try and be a player though. If you want, like me, to meet someone special then you have to be yourself, so you have to implement some of this stuff until you're comfortable with it and it's actually part of you.
Don't get mad, get smart!
Hope this helps break the mold. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:17:41 AM | Yeah, I came out of this relationship and I was completely crushed, did everything I possibly could. I was complaiing all the time because I only have these 'mini' relationships, thinking there was something seriously wrong with me. I ended up getting into my music and writing and doing the things I used to do, and I'm not completely happy being single, but I'm still doing ok.
I actually thank all you great blokes and ladies: turns out that I'm not as abnormal as I thought I was!! Great therapy | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:34:07 AM | Six years HAAAAAAAAa!
That's nothing for a someones halfway to being a 40 Y.O Virgin. By the time you find yourself and figure out why in the world you really want someone, everyone's abandoned you. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:35:09 AM | | i spoke too soon. i feel for ya. | |
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| BAN the FRIEND ZONE NUFF SAID.
Posted: 8/27/2009 6:38:14 AM | | Okay, I think it's important to build a relationship but you're right when it comes to chemistry and attraction. If it's not there try in another alley. | |
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| BAN the FRIEND ZONE NUFF SAID.
Posted: 8/27/2009 9:11:38 AM | It's more important to have a good relationship with YOURSELF. And, yes, a good healthy ego, but with a vulnerable side too, so they don't think you're so self-sufficient that you don't need 'em.
Meanwhile, pour your heart into characters in movies and on TV. Entertainment as distraction therapy works for me completely. My personal favorite is Jennifer Love Hewitt in The Ghost Whisperer. The love just pours out of that woman, and it's so easy to love her back.
If you're talking with one of the objects of your affection and she starts complaining about one of the other guys she likes (I don't like this either), turn on the TV and tune her out. Ignore her. Eventually, she'll take a hint that you don't wish to be her gay friend, and will drop those sorts of conversations, or will leave. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 12:59:07 PM | | I am on over a year and a half, and still counting. My streak is beyond cold, I think, truthfully, I will never find someone. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:12:06 PM |
Many older women are single but not to their choosing.
Hmmm.... I am single by choice, and I guess, by definition, I'm 'older'.
I don't "need" to be in a relationship. I like my life just fine the way it is. I have wonderful kids, incredible friends and life is good.
Would I like someone to share my life with?? if the right person came along, you bet, but in the meantime, I'm just enjoying life, meeting new people and having fun.
I've found the more one looks for a relationship, the harder it is to get one. When you stop looking is when you seem to find one.
You have to be comfortable in your own skin, a partner shouldn't define you, a partner should compliment you. I see too many people looking for someone just for the sake of having that 'relationship' status. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 1:14:24 PM | See, with me single is fine if I never meet someone I want to hang out with. I'd rather be single until death than date anyone to avoid being single.
So to me it's standard unless I meet someone who makes me feel like I don't want to be anymore. Simple. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 2:24:30 PM | ^ WomanInProgress. If only all women were more like you. You stole mah heart, but you're over in New York, so I'd like it back via Fed Ex, lol.
Seriously though, if all women were that confident in themselves, confident enough to be o.k single, they wouldn't end up with jerks, wouldn't end up breaking other, better men's hearts and would have a better time of things overall.
Confidence and self assurance really is the backbone of life. Confident, take charge types rule the world.
You guys saying "I won't ever find someone." You've already been defeated before you even try. Confidence is, fortunately, something that can be gained. It's not hereditary (although some are naturally more blessed than others)
I know from experience that bad things can tear away at your confidence, but only you can pick yourself up again. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/27/2009 4:52:36 PM | jesus TR22 yer only 23! A year and a half is nothing! Try 8 yrs !
A | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/28/2009 5:10:51 PM | | Hey, I've been single for 3 years. I thought I found "the one" but things aren't going well. I'm pretty lonely and upset today. | |
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| too long single
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:37:48 PM | | i've been single for 6 years....i will not settle for mr wrong or mr right now. if it takes another 6 years so be it. a year and a half is nothing...... | |
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