| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:48:22 PM | so why come on the net and tell 1000's of people here ??
have the " talk " tell her.. it is looking like you are being just a bit sneaky
Whats her screen ame ??  | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:50:29 PM | I opt for making a fake profile and messaging her to see what response you get back.
Sorry I am all out of sarcasm tonite... | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 9:58:23 PM | I met my boyfriend on here, and the way he started the conversation was by jokingly asking me if I had had any creepy experiences with POF, and shared a couple of his own. He then mentioned having deleted his account because he had found what he was looking for, and asked what I was going to do with mine.
I would suggest giving her a few more days rather than jumping the gun and making yourself appear jealous or creepy. Also, you should be honest about creating an account for the forums. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 10:03:11 PM | I deleted my profile two days after my boyfriend and I became exclusive and monogamous and advanced the level of intimacy in our relationship. I created this profile just so I could actively participate in the forums. Anyone who looks at the profile will see I an no longer single, no longer looking, and I am her for the forums only. I do not even have a full facial photo on my profile anymore.
My boyfriend still has the exact same profile as was here when we started dating back in February. Last time I checked he has not logged in since 2/1 the day he asked me out on our first date. I have not bothered to check it out since I stopped dating other men, that was about 6 weeks ago. At that point I knew he had not been online since he was on my favorites list and if I looked there it would sort the favorites by the last log in. I scanned through my favorites the last time back in March before deleting them so I could write downt he screen names of some women I wanted to maintain touch with. He had not logged on even once up to the point we went monogamous. Now that we are intimately involved there is even less likelihood that he will be logging on. I don't think he even remembers his password at this point. I don't check on him at this point because I trust him.
If it bothers you, discuss it with her. If she wants to keep her profile active, ask her to make a statement there changing it to reflect her involvement with you. If she is serious about your relationship this should not be a problem. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 10:11:36 PM |
How do I bring this up without coming across as snoopy?
Send her an e-mail on POF. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/18/2009 10:19:12 PM | | But isn't that her decision? I mean I only saw a guy 1 day and he decided I should get off of this site. I want to make that decision, so should she be able to. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 4:35:25 AM | To the folks who honestly tried to help me out with this...thanks. I'll probably wait a little while longer before bringing it up. I never said I didn't trust her, but it would make most people just a little suspicious if their boyfriend/girlfriend had an active profile on a dating site with them listed as being single.
To everyone who bashed me for still having my profile or my profile stating that I am looking for dating...stop. I don't know how much more clear I can make it, the purpose of this profile is to seek/give advice on these forums. If you think I'm actively seeking a relationship with this profile, especially now that I'm exclusive with this girl, you're mistaken. I know most of you want to label me as a dog because I have this profile and I would prefer it if she deleted hers, that's just not the case. If she mentions in her profile that she's taken and is not looking for dating, I'll be fine with that. In the end, yes, it's her choice, but I was just looking for a way to bring up a potentially awkward subject without being overbearing. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 4:53:43 AM | Dr. Funke,
Here's a possible solution for the two of you.
I think you two should sit down and discuss this POF profile thing.
If you or both of you have friends on POF you'd like to continue your communications with OR you enjoy discussing issues in the forums then why don't you two create 1 profile with your main photo of both of you together and in your profile you can let people know you are a couple. That way you both (if you want) get to log-on using the same User Name and same Password as a couple instead of separate and running the risk of untrust.
Talk about it and see what you come up with but I think it can be easily resolved and that way having 1 profile will allow you both to keep what you once enjoyed.
It's really not a new idea but it can be a fun thing for both of you to share in.
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 6:22:47 AM | I tried to look at your profile to see what people were giving you flack about.
As I stated previously, initially I tried just updating my profile to no longer looking.
That didn't work. Then I tried hiding my profile, but people who had contacted me in the past continued to contact me so that didn't work. I ended up completely deleting my profile and creating a new one that was pretty blank and clearly said just here for the forums.
My boyfriend knows I still have this profile, but he trusts I am not looking for something better to come along. Likewise, even though he still has his original profile,
he has not signed on in literally months. I trust that he isn't scoping out other women too.
If this girl is so special to you, and you are special to her you should not be afraid to discuss this openly. Make sure she knows you still have a profile and let her see it.
Ask her if it makes her at all uncomfortable, and if it does ask her what she would like you to do to make her more at ease.
I for example changed my hometown to anywhere, Ohio. I changed my education to some high school (I have an MD and PhD). Wherever I had the option I chose prefers not to say. My height is listed as over 7 feet. I list talk/email. I wish they gave forums as a choice, because forums is really why I am here. Talk/email misleads because it makes people think I want to chat and email. I don't mind chatting and emailing if it is with someone that was reading something I wrote in the forums.
the other thing is to make who can contact you so restrictive that no one can email you, by limiting age, distance, sex, etc. I don't know how much you are getting unsolicited messages from people. Even after creating a new profile I was still getting messages for awhile until I made the above changes to the new profile.
I wish you luck. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 1:12:33 PM |
Hello Windowsdesire,I have to say.You have beautiful eyes.Hi my name is *****.I would like to tell you a little about myself.I havew a great sense of humor and a personality to match.I have many diferent interests.I love th outdoors and what it has to offer.If you woud like to learn more about me or have any questions.Please feel free to drop me a line.I woukld be more than glad t answer any questions you might have.I would also enjoy hearing from you.So have a nice day,its beautiful outside.
This just arrived today. It goes to show that some people don't take the two seconds to read a profile, even when it is blatantly clear that a person is not looking.
It is too bad that the profile edit feature makes you choose between looking for a man or a woman. The only thing that I can still do it change to looking for women.
Again, I suggest you talk to her. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 1:28:23 PM |
I deleted my old profile. I met a wonderful man who told me that I am everything he ever wanted in a woman. If you are a man please don't write and tell me you would like to get to know me. I have fallen in love with a wonderful guy and while you may be terrific, I am no longer looking. It is flattering that you looked at my profile, however, if you choose to write, let it be to congratulate me on finding love in this crazy world of distrust and infidelity. I wish you well, and hope you find what I found here on POF.
I created this new profile just to be able to read the forums and post.
this is what my current profile reads. If your profile does not reflect this same level of NOT LOOKING, then you need to make some adjustments before talking to your lady about deleting hers. Good luck
p.s. and even with a profile like this some crazies are going to write without reading what is written. This is where trust enters into the relatioship. If you can not trust her then there is not much of a basis for a relatioship. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 1:33:11 PM | | ~OP~ If' you would do the logical thing and change "single" to "not single/not looking" and change "dating" to "talk/email" you wouldn't be getting the responses you have been getting. JMO | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 2:10:44 PM | widowsdesire: Message #36
he calls you windowsdesire.....
he has total disregard for your profile, probably maybe didn't read it or worse off imagine this.......HE READ THE FREAKIN THING, UNDERSTOOD IT BUT HE DOESN'T CARE.....HE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT ANYWAY...
doesn't that piss you off!?
i agree with you...it doesn't take but a bit to read over a profile especially if you can pick up from it at first glance that you're involved with someone else and really only here for the forums.
this is also a gripe of mine when i read a post and the person posting is soooooo off base because they didn't take the time to truly read the OP and never even glanced at the OP's profile.
before i reply to a thread, i view the OP's profile so i have a better feel of who i'm dealing with and hopefully that they're being honest in their profile.
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 2:29:24 PM | A: That's being somewhat controlling.
B: It's hypocritical.
C: She should be running for the door if this is the type of behavior you're exhibiting. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 4:17:25 PM | Look buddy, you can't be all things to her as she can't be all things to you. Many of us who are in relationships are here because of the friendship, the fora and the company. I think you do what you want to do but you can't control another person. Being exclusive does not give you the right to tell her what to do. Good luck with that. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 4:51:45 PM | Tit-for-tat.
Just because you had the talk doesn't mean she should have to delete her profile.
She could just delete the one she has, and start a new account under a different name..
if she wants to be on here, she will ...
JMO | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 4:52:30 PM | | I think you should just ask if it bothers you...I'm sure it's something she has over looked. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 5:07:38 PM | Yea, well 1st, ...you have one...that closes all arguments there.
2nd, so what if she has one. Maybe she likes to chat with the people or talk on the forums.
Its like this, if she is going to cheat, its gonna happen. Dont sit and worry over something that may or may not happen....waste of time. Enjoy her and the time you spend with her, period. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 7:30:51 PM | | You say you are on here to give advice???? lol.... Who in the world would want it from a known two timer that can't be trusted. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 5/19/2009 11:05:23 PM | Maybe one day you will give her a diamond and your last name.
In the meantime...it is unreasonable to ask (or expect) her to delete anything that belongs to her. | |
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| Deleting her profile?
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:07:53 AM | | Don't bother with her. Lots of more fish out there in the sea. There's this one woman I know on here that deleted her profile quite a few times already. Whats funny is everytime she comes back, she comes on with a diferent name. Hmmm | |
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