| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:24:15 PM | me thinks everyone needs to chill ... way too many ppl getting upset .. i need a smoke ...
back to the topic ....
hmmmm ... ""Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?""
considering i don't speak to women outside of work ... nahhh  | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/19/2009 12:55:22 PM | I think it's probably harder on men because societal norms say men are supposed to approach women, not the other way around. Some in both genders break the stereotype, but in the main I don't see too much behavioral deviation.
Whenever I'm at POF parties it seems the sexes stay pretty much together, with women waiting for a guy to approach them.
I rarely approach a woman unless she gives definite signs, which could be strong body language or simply initiating a conversation herself.
I agree with those that say people shouldn't get all bent out of shape for getting rebuffed. If it happens just move on. No use having it ruin your day...lol. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/20/2009 4:06:36 AM | | yeah, you're right. it is hard for a lot of women i know to approach men. it seems a guy can always get a gal interested if he plays his cards right. but if a woman pursues a man, and he's not interested in you or not into you, it won't work. most relationships i've had, he's pursued me. if i've ever pursued them, it's never worked out. does anyone else go through this?? | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/20/2009 3:57:20 PM | I know it is screaming obvious, but since no one seems to be addressing it, I have to ask...
What in your wildest dreams makes you think you know that women are thinking you are trying to hit on them and that they are offended????
That is one hell of a lot of assuming on your part.
I can only speak for me and god knows I cannot read what is in someones elses mind unless they have shown it to me in a clear way.
I have had 1000's of the opposite sex, in my lifetime, come up and talk to me and I cannot even recall ever thinking the guy was hitting on me unless he made it painfully obvious. I personally have the issue of not being able to tell when a guy is making the moves that mean anything more than, "Hey, you look interesting, lets talk a minute and see," because they are trying to be so cool and smooth and probably assuming I will know what they are doing.
To me it is just such bad manners and unrealistic to assume talking to me is insinuating anything more than a few minutes of what they are presenting in that moment. If a guy assumes anything more than that when I talk to him I am going to think he is socially confused. I have been told by many men and women that a guy was very interested, but I didn't give him the green light. What??? If I talk and smile and am nice, what the hell green light am I supposed to be giving? Am I supposed to push out my breast, hike up my dress, come close and rub my body on him?? It is supposed to be getting to know a person, not looking for a quick jump in the hay.
The only time I get quiet and give a business-like don't even try it attitude is when some azz comes up to me acting like he is God's gift to womankind and he KNOWS I want all over him. That kind of man makes me physically ill and feel like I need a shower.
If a man shows he cannot carry on an appropriate conversation, I either leave the vacinity, or tell him I do not want to talk to him if it is he who needs to leave because he is invading my space.
I do not see EVER this attitude of women refusing to talk to a nice man and assumes he is hitting on her, unless it is a man way too old going up to young girls. They don't want you, get a clue, stop whining about it and learn to like women appropriate for you, instead of thinking you are hot stud enough to attract the young girls you have never attracted anyway. Appropriate women are just never that snobbish. Info is not being relayed here, or possibly not being comprehended.
There is also the possibility of women watching men that make the rounds starting with the youngest and most skin showing and working his way down showing less interest with each new woman or women approached. Of course, he thinks he has been so covert, but women see and then you will surely get a cold shoulder when you make it to them, who are perfectly fine and wonderful, but you have shown you have little interest for them way before you get there. Why would they want to talk to that?
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/20/2009 10:48:44 PM | Smiling Salmon, thank you for your input, but as you are not a man you could not have experienced the situation that I am talking about. It very well could be that it is a hell of a lot of assuming on my part, but I have noticed that several men who have left comments knew exactly what I was saying and agreed with me.
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:47:39 AM | rude comment:
That is one hell of a lot of assuming on your part.
that is c0cky and rude on your part. you'll come back and say you just say what's on your mind. but if guys see how smart-alecky you are you'll neve find a date. and terri, that is so true. i think you get me. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/22/2009 6:07:08 PM | Personally, I am thrilled that you three always seem to be a one-man-band. More power to you.
I am not being c0cky, know it all, or rude in any way. Since I am a woman, who knows lots of women of all ages, I am quite qualified to say that RD or any other man with the same assumption, is on the wrong track. I have no doubt that some extremely small percentage of women could have those thoughts, but it would be a very small percentage.
It doesn't help RD, or any man to believe the wrong thing. It is much more helpful to them to know what the more likely reasons are that they are getting the responses they get. I happen to agree with RD in most of his threads and posts, but not all. I am not here to get brownie points for falsely agreeing when I do not agree. I am also not here to rock any of your boats. For whatever your reason, the three of you just do not like me, but I am not asking you to. I am doing none of you any personal harm by stating what might be more realistic reasons. If that is not what RD wanted from women who post here, then why did he start the thread, to just pitch and moan? I think deep down he really wants insight. Smoothing his feathers isn't going to get him any truth, but I am glad he has someone to do it, we all need that.
Lawrence, you seem to have appointed yourself personal sentry to follow me around and post that I will never get any dates. I date often, or at least I think it is often, a couple of times a week usually. Never on the weekend, because that is when I work. Unless you just really need this job of following me around to tell me I am a loser, then why don't you just email me and lay it out about why you feel so offended by my presence. I will be happy to disguss it with you.
Have a great evening,
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/22/2009 10:59:18 PM | I didn't realize that Lawrence, Terri and I agreed so often. I can assure you it is not a coalition. As far as not liking you, you will recall I sent a birthday greeting with a balloon attachment on your birthday. Would I do that for people I don't like? I was looking forward to meeting you at the bonfire/hayride but either I missed you or you didn't show.
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/23/2009 3:02:31 PM | Yep RD, you did. To which I sent a thank you and a few friendly questions and have never gotten an answer to this day.
Not that I care and not that I want you to answer now, not that you could.
But if you are going to throw the birthday greeting up, lets be honest about it. You weren't trying to be a friend, just trying to get more women to come to your 3.5 hour away party. You don't come over here for parties, so I think the tactics to get party goers is just a bit underhanded. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/23/2009 11:26:59 PM | Yes, I am a bit scatterbrained and maybe did not send a reply to questions asked. That does not mean I thought them unimportant.
Where you are wrong is in assuming that I wasn't trying to be a friend. I only email people that I find worthwhile. I do not do it as a means to add numbers to the party. You are way off base here, and that is all I have to say on this matter. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/25/2009 6:52:16 PM | I have never picked on anyone. You LIE.
You have no reason to be talking to me like this.
Perhaps you had better have a wake up call by going back through threads and counting how many times the three of you lead others down the primrose path of attacking anyone who posts that does not agree with you.
The midset of exclusivity, private forum, attacking anyone with a different opinion.
It is all in black and blue. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/25/2009 7:13:03 PM | In salmon's defense, I didn't take anything she's written as a slam or insulting. People do need to fight the urge to gang up and have a pack mentality on here. I've been a victim of it a few times, as I'm sure others have, and it's never fun.
Everyone has made valid comments in this thread and been good contributors, so let's keep things civil. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:59:19 PM | | I do agree with Motown about people ganging up, but if I have been part of a "gang" on here, I am ignorant of it. I too have been a victim, many times, of being ganged up on in threads, and would not be a willing part of such a thing. If I have agreed with others it is because I agree with them, not to gang up on anyone. And speaking of being picked on, go back and read some of Pink Fairys comments towards me. | |
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:00:49 AM | RD, I think you know I have been nice to you a lot. I have disagreed a few times too, but not in a mean way. I always got dumped on when I did. In the nicest way I can, I am telling you the following...
You have made yourself somewhat of a leader here in the Michigan forum by starting a lot of threads, posting more than anyone and co-hosting parties. Many people are always looking for a leader and to be a follower, so intentional on your part or not, you lead the pack of those types.
You had no business being rude to Octobergirl about her word choice. That was arrogant, rude, uncalled for and it was ganging up, because you started a bash and others were BOUND to follow you.
Pinkfairy was initially just nicely trying to take up for Octobergirl and help you and Teri out to admit you have a spark between you. If not, so what, no harm done, but you didn't let her nice wake-up call to you stand, you pushed her to defend herself and insult you too. Maybe two wrongs do not make a right, but you started it, not her. She has not attacked you. You deserved what you got. It is just another example of what I am talking about when I say that some of you, the pack, want exclusivity and only agreement with you, in here. It is a big reason more people do not post.
You put yourself in this position. You can get yourself out of it. I understand the frustration of being single, at times, but you have fallen into a series of "poor me" posts and threads. You may not realize it, but it is time to wake up, because it will only get worse if you continue. There is only so much a community, like PoF, can take of one person whining all the time. Be a man and make good things happen for yourself. You have no reason not to be able to do that because of your location and willingness to put yourself out there. It is your own mind and attitude getting in the way. Like some other poster pointed out, with the guy and girl in the corner in private conversation, you should have never gone over there. You are old enough to know what proper social boundaries are.
Own your own issues and change them. It is all we can do to be responsible adults. You might want to consider that you need to concentrate on one person and not be always starting and dropping to chase after greener pastures. It is clear those greener pastures have never worked out for you. If you take that or anything in this post as a slam, insult or mean, then you are not ready at this age, still, to be in a relationship. You have to consider reality.
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| Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:00:42 AM | Oh yes indeedy, we most certainly did have the pack mentality in here, but most have moved on. To be quite honest here and ive never even met RD, he wasnt one of them.
Im not saying he's never complained about anything but even if he has or anyone for that matter, we are all on this singles site and id think that complaining about lack of dates is pretty much expected!! lol
Now Pink Fairy (or however she chose to spell it) most definitely was the one who started attacking RD first. I just went back and re-read it. She actually made my jaw drop by the way her claws came out of nowhere. The way she launched into a tirade was clearly uncalled for.
As far as RD getting all riled up if you disagree with him, its been my experience that that is untrue. We've had a few topics going on where ive disagreed with him and visa versa and he's never been anything but a gentleman and i think ive even told him that before. We can agree to disagree! :)
Anyway....just my 2 pennies worth. lol
Back to OT:
Do women always assume you are hitting on them when you speak to them?
Nope, not always, but it does depend on the approach and how she interprets it. JMO | |
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