| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:58:08 AM | I prefer to meet in a parking lot, drop our trousers and smell each other's butts. If we like it, we continue to the date. If we don't, without saying a word we go our separate ways.
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:10:04 AM | | I agree with you on the "Interview Date". It seems like your applying for a job instead of getting to know someone.(Should I bring my investment portfolio?) These days though, it's a safe solution for an easily ended date with someone you just don't click with or with someone who has misrepresented who they are on line. I've had my share of dates where I was glad for the opportunity to move on quickly. My favorite first meeting is at a park and spend a few minutes diserning who this person is face to face, if things move in a positive way, there's so much more to do after that... I have long given up on the fancy dinner first date, To many times this has gotten me a hefty check and a long, stilted, uncomfortable couple of hours talking about the weather and the price of gas. I say, keep it simple with no time limits. But do things that enable you to keep your options open and end it if the chemestry isn't there. By the same token maybe move forward to something nicer if the sparks start flying. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 11:20:44 AM | | I think there's a diference from have a conversation and being interviewed. It's o.k. to ask questions about each other. But, the last girl I dated it seemed like i was in a police interogation. It thought she was asking all these questions over and over to seem if there was ever any inconsistancies in what i had been telling her. It was a turn off and too bad otherwise she was a very cool person | |
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Landra
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Joined: 9/10/2007
Msg: 29 | |
| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 12:08:41 PM | If you don't want to meet for coffee, then come up with other suggestions.
If someone mentions meeting for coffee, then have a list of alternatives ready.
A 20-minute consultation at a hardware store wouldn't interest me, but if that's what works, go for it. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 12:10:39 PM | | When I'm on one of those dates, I only ask questions to find topics of discussion... yeah they will be about what she likes to do and her life, but after a few open ended and follow up questions I can usually steer the conversation into a discussion rather than an interview. However, it is important to ask enough questions in the early stages to get a good idea of whether you actually like the person.... the worst thing you could do IMO is get someone attached after a couple months and you realizing you're not compatible because you never really got to know who they were in the first couple dates. That said, some people get a better sense of who someone is through actions and some get it through words... so there's no set rule of how to get to know someone. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 1:13:43 PM | Dating is kinda like a job interview these days. Like a job interview, you are trying to sell yourself to a potential buyer. Like an interview, you have to show yourself in the best possible light, highlighting your good qualities while minimizing your flaws. Like an interview, one single thing, from what you are wearing to a random comment can send you crashing in a fiery ball of destruction.
And like an interview, just because things seemed to go very very well doesn't mean you'll ever hear from them again! | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 1:25:13 PM | Hi OP... I agree with you that many first meetings do seem like interviews, but I don't think that's entirely a bad thing.
I loved your idea of a "paint date" ... but, in reality, how often does the opportunity for one of them come along?
Most of the time it's -- yawn -- coffe, lunch, drinks.... | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 2:59:47 PM |
A 20-minute consultation at a hardware store wouldn't interest me, but if that's what works, go for it.
This is hilarious.
How about:
Victoria's Secrets dressing room
Chucky Cheese
Radio Shack
Weight Watchers Meeting
AA meeting
Women's shelter
Emergency Room Lobby
Driver's license waiting room. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 7:00:46 PM | Seems that your profile has a 'ready made' first date idea included in there.....go dancing! There are a number of places that have lessons before the major dancing begins. You, also, mentioned cooking. Any chef/cooking schools in your area, where you could go for a tasting?
Now, I'm presuming that you are talking about a first 'date', not an initial meet-up, yes? Since you've already talked on the phone, that would indicate that the preliminary 'interview' has happened.
There could be a number of places to go and experience that are interesting, free>low cost and allow an 'out' for either one of you.
Many museums have a free night/day.
Bookstores have author readings, sometimes libraries, too.
Take a look at what your local college/university/community center has on offer.
Any art galleries having a new exhibit opening up?
Like someone mentioned, if you are wanting to meet with another, do a bit of research. The idea that you've put some effort and imagination into setting up this first 'date' will garner you extra points.....and you may enjoy the evening anyhow, even if they don't and disappear on you! | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 8:02:01 PM | I TOTALLY agree with you! Getting interviewed by an almost stranger, sitting across a table in a coffee shop sounds excruciating and contrived.
I'm an advocate of an activity first meet. Conversation is more relaxed when you're doing something together. Also plan to sacrifice more than half an hour because I think it takes a bit of time to know another. Initial responses based on physical appearance may change after the inner person shines through - both ways. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 8:04:50 PM | Hmmmmm yea I know what you mean and there really is no nice way to say that's none your business at this point. lol I once went out with someone who spent the whole time grilling me but yet had never bothered to read any of my postings lol I thought you have a perfect opportunity to know how I feel and you don't take it I guess some people are self absorbed.
The coffee thing is safe I guess thats why people do it.
I love to go to the science museum we have one here that has different exhibits all the time. I have thought about that as a meeting place because for me if I really wanted to find someone I clicked with it would be super if we both got into the same things. If the person was being pushy and just wanted to leave then I could still enjoy the afternoon by myself. lol | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/21/2009 9:49:15 PM | I've learned that if I ever feel like a date is becoming an interview, it's because it's not going well. We might get along and perhaps even become friends, but there's just no chemistry.
The best dates I've ever had are the ones where I just feel completely comfortable being me. It's impossible to explain why certain dates do and some do not end up that way. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:06:59 AM | | Thats interesting,guys usually get upset because I don`t interview them.I don`t like asking question after question,I figure if its something I should know then he would tell me anyway.They feel like I don`t care enough to ask the questions ,whatever... | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:44:06 AM | I can certainly understand what you are saying here and agree.
When I first meet someone, I don't want to be grilled with questions. To me it's kind of rude, boring and predictable. It's not like you are rushing to the alter on the first couple of dates, so there's no reason to grill someone with questions.
Of course you want to get to know someone. But if anyone I meet immediately pushes me asking about my financial situation, where I live, or where I'll be five years from now I lose interest fairly quick. It's not that I have anything to hide. I have a good job, a great house and a happy life. I just feel like if you go through the material posessions and talk about all the great things you have or don't have...you get off track from where you should be heading. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 5:53:27 AM | I like to meet people and I generally love conversation. But some people do tend to read wayyyyyyyy to much into it.
When we are just meeting for coffee, I don't want to discuss every girlfriend I had ever had or discuss other heavy topics. If I don't even know a woman's last name, I generally don't really even care about her ex-husband, every emotional trauma she has ever had or her search for a husband. Keep it light! If we click, there will be plenty of time to learn more about the person and I really don't want to know up front anyway.
As far as it sounding like an interview... While I think you should try to keep it light, it actually IS an interview. Both are deciding if the other is even worthy of being offered a probationary position. Later they might offer you a full time position if you don't screw it up during the probationary period... | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 6:45:53 AM | What a great idea. It's close without being too close. And it is great to have a passion. Makes life more meaningful and fulfilling.
However, there are people who might be intimidated by being asked to dance. Just an observation.
M | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:57:46 AM | | OK, I have to ask a question. Since I haven't met anyone from here yet. Do they actually dive right into your ex's, and bad marraige(s), and failed relationships right away? WOWzers. I hope not. That's something you discuss wayyyyy down the road, in my opinion. Not on a first meeting, or even a 2nd date. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:21:35 PM |
My passion is dancing
That's the thing OP, p a s s i o n! Sharing the same passion is more than being half-way through the "interview", as you call it. If anyone is fortunate to meet such a person, sharing experiences and wanting to enjoy it more ... with a new buddy could be the start of a new  venture. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 12:25:49 PM | | If they are trying to turn it into an interview and you have some solid communications skills, you can easily turn into simply talking about life in general. I'm great at going off on tangents and getting people to forget what they originally asked lol. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:28:28 PM | | Well get use to it, Does your boss just give you full benefit package after the first day on the JOB? DUH | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 9:28:59 PM | Well get use to it, Does your boss just give you full benefit package after the first day on the JOB? DUH
Just meet her at a Rest Stop and get it over with. Aint it fun working for the goods...
High school drop out syndrome | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:29:38 PM | "The way a person behaves tells you much more than their words do. As I used to tell my daughters, play Monopoly with your dates - the guy who cheats at it is not someone you want to be with!"
excellent advice! ive never heard that one before, love it!    | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/22/2009 11:39:43 PM | i remember when i used to go on dates with guys, the dates were boring and terrible as hell! some of them consisted of sitting in the car at the park, other times wasn't about getting to know each other, etc. ive been on a lot of dates where the guy said i want to be friends but didnt really ask me anything about myself. it sucked to be on a date where the person doesnt ask u anything about u yet u have to ask questions about them.
that tells u they have no interest in knowing u. there was hardly any activity dates, just the typical interviewing questions about each other. i love to get to know ppl's lives, but i hardly say much about my personal life due to personal reasons. activity dates would be better get to know them more better. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:44:13 AM | | when i meet for the 1st time i am looking to be knocked off my feet...when i meet most men they basically bore me to tears...i will ask questions related to the subject the men bring up...the topic these men bring up is their interests...this is fine but while the man is talking about himself would it be too much to ask to notice i am female....flirting, compliments, eye-contact would be appreciated...i am in need of male attention...your aunt matilda i am not so do you have an alternate personality for these situations..in other words, start acting like a red-blooded american male...i won't complain. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/23/2009 11:26:15 AM | If you want to do something that's not an interview, DO SOMETHING! I mean go for a go kart race, work together on a project or something that is not two people sitting. I love sitting and chatting, but to solve your problem, it involves doing something where there can't be much talking.
Actually, when there isn't talking that can say the most of all. Are you comfortable with their silence? Are they a poor loser or a poor winner? What was her body language durring the date?
Maybe you don't like the interview process because you've done it so many times before. | |
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