| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:17:23 PM | I prefer just being with the person, and talking about what comes up...in other words not really pinning the other person down to tell you their personal history, but talking about your day, our view of the op ed in the NYTimes that day. even if its just coffee and not an activity you don't have to conduct an interview. flirt, have fun...if you like each others' company, there'll be time in the future to gather all the critical data. javascript:smilie(' ') | |
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bhi99
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Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 52 | |
| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/23/2009 12:45:40 PM | | Every date is an interview for me, it's important that both parties act as the interviewer though. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:05:52 PM | I think the first interaction is an interview. Certain questions need to be answered/explained in the beginning so that no one's time is wasted:
1. Are you married? Explain separated....(Don't want ex-wife drama!)
2. Do you have kids? Sex/Ages? Do they live with you? (Your rebellious daughter isn't my problem!)
3. What city(area) do you live in? (I don't wanna travel 50 miles to see you!)
4. What type of work do you do? (Are a reader/philosopher, artistic/linear thinker, ambitious or lazy, or just incompatible (I wouldn't date a bounty-hunter!)
I've received some of the weirdest responses to those simple questions and I'm sure I'm still here to tell the tale because I didn't go out blindly with any guy who asked me! | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 2:19:48 PM | | I agree that dating feels like a job interview sometimes these days. I'm glad you had a good experience. It's always nice to meet someone in a unexpected way and find you have mutual chemistry with that person. I think too many of us, have forgotten how do that, since we spend too much time online. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:18:19 PM | | Man, didn't I see another thread just like this a day or two ago? It's only an interview if you think of it like that. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 4:22:52 PM | I couldn't agree with you more OP, I also dread the interview process. What makes it even worse is that its usually the exact same questions being asked on every date. It makes me want to get into MS Word and type out all my answers to the cliche'd questions and just hand her the piece of paper at the beginning of the date to save time.
I'd rather get the interviewing and judging out of the way through email/chat/phone then go out and actually enjoy the first meet. Don't get me wrong I like coffee, but going to an amusement park, the movies, random activities, or even singing bad karaoke at the local bar appeals to me a lot more. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:20:14 PM | Gwen sits down opposite of gudtogo with her pen and notebook. She looks at him over the top of her glasses. "So, Mr. Go," she begins.
"Call me 'Gud,'" he says politely.
"So, Mr. Go," Gwen says pointedly, "what do you have to offer our company?"
"Um, Gwen, I thought we were having a date, not an interview."
"When you answer my questions, THEN the date will begin."
Gud squirms in his seat, uncomfortable in the glare of the bright lights.
"OK," Gwen says, "we'll make this easier." She hands him several sheets of paper. "Fill out this questionnaire. I'll be waiting in the bar." She rises and leaves him alone.
Sighing, Gud look at the first question; it reads, "How tall are you, really?"
He sighs. It's going to be a long night. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:25:57 PM | Gwen that is too funny..................
OP and robfish I am with both of you on this one. I personally "hate" the whole meeting up process.
I drove 30 mins each way to meet a couple of guys in one week and we got on ok etc. but it was nerve- racking and I felt foolish. I couldn't relax and it was really uncomfortable. So I've decided not to meet anyone anymore unless they suggest an actual date like the movies or something more fun.
Glad to see I'm not the only one that feels this way.................. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:51:24 PM | | I don't like meeting for coffee. I don't meet for coffee. So many things in life are complicated. This is not one of them. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/24/2009 8:01:09 PM | | I don't like feeling like I'm being interviewed as well. So I have a simple approach. It works for me. My phone calls almost never get to a meet. However, I have made some good friends that I talk, chat and laugh with. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 5/25/2009 7:14:47 AM |
I'd rather get the interviewing and judging out of the way through email/chat/phone then go out and actually enjoy the first meet. Don't get me wrong I like coffee, but going to an amusement park, the movies, random activities, or even singing bad karaoke at the local bar appeals to me a lot more.
Well said..I agree..And that's the "secret" of a good meet..Do something, other than sitting across from each other, throwing questions back and forth.
OH..Sorry, I didn't got Gwen posts...The guy was shorter than he said he was? 
So I've decided not to meet anyone anymore unless they suggest an actual date like the movies or something more fun.
Glad to see I'm not the only one that feels this way....
No you are not.. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/2/2009 11:57:06 PM | Miss Contemplative, She has the best answer. Alot of people think a first date is an application for a relationship. You are smart!!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:15:12 AM | I find a sharp mind and expansive intellect sexy....
So a really good conversation over coffee will create a lot more initial interest in me than a "fun" date. Verbal banter is like intercourse with words. If a girl does not have a similar sense of humor, or her mind cannot keep up with mine... I know there is no future with that person.
I ALWAYS like to include some sort of eating in a first real date - just a friend date.
What a person orders, how they eat, and how they act while eating tells me a lot about themselves.
Eating together is one of the most imtimate activities humans can do with each other. There's a lot of nervousness that goes with it.... but...
no risk, no reward. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:53:57 AM | | let's face it here people, any time you are out on a first date there is an interview process that happens. We all do it in one way or another. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:04:30 AM | | I can see both sides of this issue. Those moments when neither of you can think of what to say and you look at each other and you go "what?" and he say "I don't know, were you going to say something?" can be a bit awkward. Though, I like the idea of a short first meeting just in case things don't go well. I have had two dates recently that lasted long after I was ready to go home, and that can be somewhat painful. I do like the interview process though in ways as long as it stays within it's boundaries and doesn't get too personal. I have had guys start talking about sex and how they please women and blah, blah, blah...it's very uncomfortable and a huge turn-off. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:22:16 AM | | I hate meeting for coffee. I love coffee and I don't want it ruined for me by a bad meet/greet. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:26:24 AM | I feel the same way. Everytime I meet someone it's the same old shit....
have you been married, problems with the ex, divorce details if applicable, problems with kids, etc. what is your height, weight, and eye color. - tell me what you look like. what do you do for a job, are you educated? can you walk and chew gum at the same time? do you live alone or have a roommate? on and on it goes.
I have walked away from it Problem solved. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:52:00 AM | | Personally, coffee never worked for me. So I would gladly decline. What worked for me was drinks, and if move forward dinner. Now, if the girl got into a Gestapo interview, I would then turned it into mystery by purposely providing totally crazy answers that were obviously over the top. So she would get the point that we needed to chill and have fun. If that didn't work, well then I had to go because I forgot to take my dog out. Wait, you said you didn't have a dog. Yeah you're right, I also forgot to buy it, so I must go now. Heheheh. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 12:48:45 PM | | Nope, your not the only one that feels that way. Some of my most favorite first dates didn't happen at dinner/coffee house/or lunch. I have enjoyed going to the zoo, the fair, a walk in a new park, a ferry ride, to just name a few. I think you can get as creative as you would like when meeting someone for the first time and you can still be interviewed but it doesn't feel as much like a job interview. Now that the weather is nice....well the sky's the limit. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:03:39 PM | I met someone off Facebook
we went to an art gallery
then for a drink
didn't work out
but we got something out of it (art)
:-) | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/28/2009 12:49:11 AM |
would it be too much to ask to notice i am female....flirting, compliments, eye-contact would be appreciated...i am in need of male attention...your aunt matilda i am not so do you have an alternate personality for these situations..in other words, start acting like a red-blooded american male...i won't complain.
No doubt. I hate it when the conversation starts off with, "So, what do you do?" or whatever. Who cares. I don't need your money and you're not getting mine. Be flirtacious. Talk about something fun like music or whatever (or what music turns you on  ). I want to be around someone I can have fun with. Not be bored with. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:48:00 AM |
I hate meeting for coffee. I love coffee and I don't want it ruined for me by a bad meet/greet.
Gotta agree with you there tracyannk. Sometimes it's just better to drink your coffee alone, you enjoy it more. | |
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| I don't want to be interviewed
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:56:56 PM | Just feel lucky they show some interest in what you are doing and who you are as a person. Three dates in two months and none of them really scratched any sort of surface with me. Just wanted to talk about themselves. Zzz. Then they get confused as to why I don't go out with them again.
Ladies : At some point in time, you have to stop selling yourself to me and let me sell myself to you. It shows you are slightly interested in getting to know someone. /end rant. | |
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