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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:58:37 PM | I've known him casually for 20 years....been sleeping with him for the last 11...he was my first and only 'one-night-stand'...and when ever we happen upon each other, we usually have another.....
unceremonious sex mixed with a casual intimacy opens the door for pure unbridled physical pleasures...I walk away smiling...feeling weak in the knees, a little light headed, and with zero expectations....
I'm not sure I could do the 'friend with benefits' thing...the 'friend' business would probabely ruin it for me.... I'm bound to develop an emotional attachment....however...a casual acquaintance works very well...I highly recommend it... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/26/2008 12:13:48 AM | OealiseH, THANK U!!! my question exactly.........i am a single woman, attractive, not looking for a relationship(too messy) but every now and then...u would certainly think most men would be so down 4 something like this!!!but you would be surprised.....turns out maybe men are a little more feeing than i give them credit 4...so i guess..............i really dont know after all!!!!!.........sux when you r in the mood tho...........lol!!! sux worse when u thought u had it all figured out and then u realize u dont.......... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/27/2008 10:24:42 AM | In my mind, a lot of this depends on the honesty between each person. Do "they" know they are a "friend with benefits" or do they hold out hope that it's really a relationship that might go deeper... Using someone just for your own pleasure at their "expense" doesn't seem very honest, and that being so, it would probably not be very "OK" in my humble opinion...  | |
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angof3
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Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 405 | |
| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/28/2008 2:44:27 PM | | you are a mom with children correct? How would you feel if your children acted the same as you? I am a single mother my children have me that is it be careful too many things you can catch out there. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/28/2008 4:20:13 PM | | angof3, are you serious??? You sound like Mother from Pink Floyd's The Wall (and your sentence structure could use some work). Yeah, shes a mom, but shes a woman too, for crying out loud. Friends with benefits is an arrangement between two people who trust each other and if it works for both of them, then outstanding, carry on! Its NOT some kind of unfavorable reflection on her mommy skills or the depth of love she has for her children simply bc she enjoys a mans touch once in awhile. And no one can afford to be stupid about sex these days, it can kill you. Im sure shes careful and knows how to protect herself. OP, I say you go, girl...whatever works for you and makes your life happier! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/28/2008 5:50:14 PM | i think we are all adults here, and if u want to have some adult fun then there should not be a problem with it. a lot of people do seem to think its their place to condemn u for it, so personally id keep it on the down-low or only talk about it with "friends" that share your view point. at least in my experience.
it is hard not to get attatched though for some, and others not so much. do what u think u need or want and who cares if its morally rong to some high and mighty types....the question is what do u think of it. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/28/2008 11:36:44 PM | Friend with benefits. Notice it says friend with benefits ,not enemy with benefits, not stanger with benefits, and not someone I just met with benefits. The very structure of the wording indicates the person should be a friend first. Different people have varying requirements for considering someone a friend, but to me a friend is someone with whom traits like honesty, kindness, and discretion have already been proven. If the proper requirements for a friend have been realized you should have no problem having an honest discussion on the growndwork and limits of the benefit. ONLY after you are sure of the friendship should you approach the benefit. No I do not think it will work for everyone .(what does?) If you are one who lets their heart have free reign of their actions without proper consideration, then it probably won't, because you will become too attatched/involved. If your brain can hold your heart from jumping off the deep end, and just take it as it comes , you will probably be fantastic with the situation. I think the key is to make sure you have a true friend first and enjoy it from there. Good Luck | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 4/29/2008 7:30:23 AM |
Friend with benefits. Notice it says friend with benefits
So then, what happens to the 'friend' when one of you decides to get into a relationship with someone else?
There is a very high likelihood of the new relationship not being too happy to have the FWB hanging around.
Realistically, the FWB then has to go.
Otherwise, this leaves people with the choice of keeping the relationship and moving forward, or keeping the 'friend'. If you choose to keep the friend, then you might as well be in a relatinship with the friend. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:21:16 AM | | You can be an adult about it, and the trust, and extend it to your friend, or you can be a suspicious type who prefers to not do this. Shrug....doesn't really matter...it is all personal choice. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 5/16/2008 9:52:12 AM | Well put Vixen....but to me...the real key is finding a TRUSTING person who allows you to completely be yourself around them with NO judgements, no redicule, and no unreal expectations....the more time spent together...the better it all gets which brings on more and more uninhibited actions. It's not easy to find someone like that...but I've certainly haven't given up hope.... Especially if you live in a non metro area like I do..makes it tough. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 6/3/2008 6:20:38 AM | | Not my place to judge others' relationships. I believe if two people want to have a FWB relationship, that is not my business. I guess you can say it is OK, as long as both people agree on what it is, and call it what it is. Often these types of relationships fail, because more often than not, one person wants to take it to another level emotionally while the other does not. Or the two people both try to take it to another level, only to see that they may be compatible as platonic friends and/or in the sack, but not so compatible as romantic partners. So in the end, the friend is gone as are the associated benefits. I have had a FWB in the past, and needless to say, she is no longer my friend and I no longer have sex with her. But, to each their own! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:10:48 AM | Put some thought into it before taking the leap ;)
Friend's with benefits has to go both ways, will you be there when HE needs some benefit?
What happens when one of you starts a new relationship? It could cause friction between you and your FWB and also in the new relationship? Could be a real problem if you're planning on doing this with a current really good friend.
What if one of you develops feelings for the other?
Not saying don't do it...just saying think about it :) | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 6/3/2008 4:15:34 PM | Yes, I believe it is ok to have a 'friend with benifits" although, there has to be some guidelines.
In my own experience, I had a 'FWB" In all honesty we were indeed friends first. It wasn't until several months into the friendship where we found ourselves both single and got together to watch a movie over pizza. We got to talking and sharing our thoughts about the whole "FWB" idea and we agreed there was nothing wrong with it so long as you didn't put your heart into it. Obviously there has to be mutual attraction, and some sort of feelings and we agreed that so long as they were there, there was no need to label them, nor speak of them. We also agreed that should either party decide they wanted to venture on to someone else, this would be fine, the "FWB" woud go back to being just friends. To say the least, one thing led to another, and it worked for us for two years. We each ended up meeting people we wanted to have a 'relationship' with and nobody got hurt as there were no expatations. Another point I wanted to mention was, I also had two children, and he completely understood that my personnal life came before my private life, and respected the fact that I didn't want him to drop in while my children were awake, or home. Ironically enough each of us dated someone else for 3 years, and when all was over we, we ran into each other and decided we were much happier with our arrangement... and well, its almost time for my kids to go to bed so I can order pizza and watch a movie with you know who *wink* | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 6/3/2008 5:16:17 PM | yes it is ok however be careful because if u do it to often someone will begin to develop feelings always happens....
make sure they know up front how u feel.....
and always use safe practices u don't know who else they are with | |
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