| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/3/2005 11:21:48 PM | | I don't see a problem with it. I mean if your not ready to get back into the relationship area yet and your tired of doing it yourself *wink wink* then why not find a special friend or friends that can help you with those needs. As long as that person and you know what your getting yourselves into, then just let it all go and have fun with it. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:10:21 AM | | MIDWESTERNGIRL!!! Works out well for me as long as both ppl are in agreement up front about the terms and expectations that go with the relations! NOTE TO YA THOUGH! DON"T DO THIS WITH ANYONE THAT YOU EXPECT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF JEALOUSY FROM! Those are the ones that don't work out and It gets thrown back in your face! | |
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sun33
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Joined: 4/10/2005
Msg: 53 | |
| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:39:09 AM | for now this is all im looking for...bobs doing his job but i need the real thing 2...hehe
i was in a long term relationship and now its time for me to have a lil fun...i def agree that there has to be some ground rules so that no 1 gets hurt, so u should get everything out in the beginning before anything happens... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:44:32 AM | **DON"T DO THIS WITH ANYONE THAT YOU EXPECT EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT OF JEALOUSY FROM! Those are the ones that don't work out and It gets thrown back in your face! **
That has been the trouble in the past..............They get so possesive with me......... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:48:21 AM | | I've stepped up to bat a couple of times to help such female friends out. The kids knew that I was a friend of their mother and we kept our wits about us for the sake of the children. Sometimes things went smoothly and eventually they reached the point where they were ready to pursue relationships, other times they wanted more than friendships. Fifty-fifty toss and who knows somewhere along the line you might start feeling something for someone. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/4/2005 11:58:41 AM | MIDWESTERNGIRL! That's where (SOME NOT ALL) guys get confusing, they agree to things up front say they don't want a relationship and then BLAST!!!!(BLINDSIDED) out of nowhere they start telling you those 3 really bad no-no words I LOVE YOU! Then you sit and ponder (CONFUSED) "What the hell just happened. And then your "FRIEND" isn't being so friendly anymore! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 9:09:36 AM | | An FWB is a friend indeed! After viewing these replies, it is obvious that there are many views on just what an FWB is. Which of course is fine. I personally have no problems with the concept. In fact, I support the idea. before I got married, most of my exes were married women. I loved the "no strings attached" idea. So now that I am married, I understand how easy it is to have an unfullfilling relationship. (I know this isn't exactly your situation, midwestgirl) I just think that one of the best ways to keep it "honest" is to have an FWB that is married. BUT, in my personal experience, it is not impossible to get emotionally involved. If that's the case, so be it! Since single folk (on avg) have more partners, I find this better. Practice safe sex, LOT'S of safe sex! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 9:36:22 AM | I can't believe that someone actually asked is it OK...to have friends with bennies?
Why not?
For Some people it's a matter of what other's think...Well no one is going to know unless you tell them...And for the other reasons? Emotions? YOu are the only one who controls your emotions.... As for the other person....You make the choice also of the seperation of emotions.....Could you really get emotions with someone who doesn't show you any? If you keep the sex and the relations seperate...It works.....Communication is the key...Make sure that the other person knows exactly what your part is and what you want their part to be. If that doesn't work...Find someone else:)
What man (or women) is going to turn down a no strings attached sexual adventure?
NO one can say it's not o.k.......It's your life...Your needs....And h*ll who can go without sex? | |
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~~JT~~
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Joined: 11/24/2004
Msg: 59 | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:15:06 PM | | picking up a guy ina bar really isn't that bad if ur gonna try to create a situation for "friends with bennies"..for 1...it allows for a less that romantic situation...(less emotion..less feelings involved)...2.It gives the aura of a one night stand...and if you play yourself right than he won't expect more than taht anyway... | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:25:13 PM | MidWestGirl.
You are gorgeous so I don't see you having a problem with finding a friends with benies guy.... but them getting attached I might see coming....
Also, there must be rules regarding your situation.... Can they/you sleep with others? Can they date others? If they do date a person (or if you date a person) but are not sexually active do you/him tell them about the situation at hand?? What happends if you want to have sex with your dates and start a relationship? How does the FWB end?
What if you get pregnant.... What are the rules for that? What if you get attached and he doesn't or vice versa.... I think you should think about those things and if that sounds good to you and your friend then go for it!!!
I suggest finding someone you trust, respect and who respects and trusts you!!!!
If you can't handle that go to www.adamandeve.com they have some great fun toys!!!!
Goodluck! | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:28:30 PM | @Midwest....I am a big fan of "casual dating". Many people in here are convinced that only crack whores and Satan worshippers would dare have sex outside the bounds of holy matrimony...you can expect to find them in here sooner or later.
The problem with having sex with a person you are close to already is that you are changing the rules on them which creates confusion and what you seem to want is something you can't get from someone you care about. What you seem to need is a casual lover who is willing to come and go in your life as long as both of your schedules match up.
I know a woman who is also a single mother but because of the nature of our "un-relationship" I have never met her son and dont' expect I ever shall. Most of the times we've ever been together were on weekends when her son was visiting his father (also twice a month).
When a casual lover gets a bit clingy and starts pushing the boundaries, you back off a little and they smarten up real quick. If they keep pushing you walk away. By jumping into bed with a friend, A) you can't walk away so easily and B) given that you are such a hottie, they are probably already secretly in love with you and just waiting for the day you "come around". Taking a guy like that to bed with you would be like feeding a cat some milk.
Figure out your ground-rules and don't alter them, always play safe and responsibly, take some time to get to know the guy a bit first and above all have fun.
You deserve to enjoy the pleasures of human contact and intimacy even if you are terribly busy and can't "afford" to start a new relationship right now. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:30:16 PM | | wow...it is you...i never got to talk to you while i was there...i was too shy...ur so beautiful...and I was reading these posts thinking...damn she looks familiar...so ur looking for a bennies type of guy huh? | |
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