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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 6:50:25 PM | there is nothing wrong with having a FWB. I have had them and I have one now. I love to take one of them out at night and do dirty naughty things in semi public places and then the next day sit with them and have coffee like nothing ever happened.
It becomes a game after a while......but keep in mind.....it might catch up with you eventually, not everyone is cut out for this type of arrangement. And from the sounds of it with all your worries about your kids (well grounded I might add) that maybe it isnt the best solution for you at this time
But thats your decision. And good luck. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 7:10:17 PM | You know there is a downside to the FWB thing. After you are in a relationship, what do you do with your "friend"?
Or "I'm going to be home late tonight dear, I'm having a drink with an old friend".....
I think the casual dating is much easier and neater in the long run | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 7:44:30 PM | | I am just leaving a 12 year relationship of the above mentioned WARNING : no good can be gotten . i loved her madly but she wanted me only when she wanted me . it can be soooooo destuctive to both persons . i am certianly not proud of myself for the sad times that happened between us but i am proud that i finally had the courage to put an end to the love that i so desperatly need and never got and the arguments cannot live ... i am avery sad old man but i feel i gave her back her freedom as she can no longer depend on the fact that i would be there when she falls . it s like having a mistess and yet no one was committing a sin. yet again we were so very wrong for doin this PLEASE DONT TAKE THIS ROAD Even if you speacial guy feels so little respect for himself that a littlebit of bad love is better than no love he will soon lose any respct he held for you AND you in turn will have no respect for your speacial guy In my case i realized the relationship was not going well about 4 years ago and comming to the realizeation that " my girl" has become nothin more than an underpaid hooker so i cut off all sex ( and yes i have been most faithful to my sweetheart ) Shortly after that we began to show how little respect we held fo each other . last month (after 12 years ) i told her i cannot go on like this . i love her and i miss her i hope she can find some one to care for her | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:04:37 PM | Some of the best relationships I have ever had (stress free ones) were FWB. But it takes two strong minded people to pull it off, and it will never work without total communication. The hardest part is fighting the tendency towards wanting more. Friendships by themselves have strong emotional attachments, just from a different perspective. Once that perspective changes, problems arise. Talk out concerns. If they are truely a friend, you should not have issues discussing these matters. Make a whole hearted attempt to avoid anything "date-like". Keep it on a recreational level (NO making love) and lighthearted. When not in the bedroom, act like you would if you never thought of going there in the first place. It is tough to do, but this isn't for everyone... If it were easy we'd all have one... If you only call on this person for a fix, and don't hang out other-wise, that is not a FWB that is a booty-call.
On the comments about exclusivity, if you two are only having relations with each other, and no one else... that is a monogamous relationship... Another purpose for FWB arrangements is so that you can get your fix without issue, while you are still trying to find a candidate for an emotional relationship. The idea of having sex with only one person and no one else goes against the grain on FWB. Until you commit yourself to a partner for a monogamous relationship, who else you see is your own concern. Being safe about everything is the most important factor. If you disagree with this, then you should not even consider a FWB relationship. How else are you going to find someone to be "more than a friend" if you aren't also playing the field. My FWB found a guy she wanted to date exclusivly, and I sincerely told her I was happy for her, and wished her the best of luck with him, and I meant every word. | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/5/2005 11:31:14 PM | | Well I am sad to say I have never had a "friend with benefits". Might be because I am not the most outgoing or best looking guy and now I am 45 and 1/2 the time I am all out of benefits! I AM REALLY CURIOUS WHAT THE PSYCHOLOGY OF THIS IS, how would you feel, what kind of friend would be good, a good frieind or a really HOT PERSON, I mean would you screw the pudgy 45 yo guy next door? what if one of you wants it more than the other? etc? | |
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| Is it ok to have a friend with benefits.....???????????
Posted: 7/6/2005 6:59:01 AM | No matter what size, or what age you are, there has to be a common interest and some sort of attraction between the two. Without the attraction, and some form of chemistry between the two people seeking FWB, wouldn't you just be friends?? | |
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