| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 2:34:39 PM | It seems to me that the criteria that some apply in choosing their partners is somewhat shallow. People have good and bad characteristics whether they smoke or not.
If someone only smokes outside the house and you are not allergic to the smoke, why would anyone care if they were a smoker? It is their decision to smoke and they will be well aware of the physical damage that it is causing them.
Smoking is an powerful addiction and a habit. This does not however preclude someone from giving up that habit when they are ready... so the smoker today may be a non smoker tomorrow.. (and vice versa).
My personal view is that there are far more important characteristics associated with choosing your partner that whether they smoke.. perhaps if we looked at the individual and what their values were rather than whether they smoked then there would be a little more sucess on this site.
So rather than "would you date someone that smoked", perhaps the issue should be "if you eliminated someone because they smoked is the criteria that you are useing in selecting your partner too shallow? "  | |
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bhi99
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Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 27 | |
| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 3:04:17 PM | What I hate most is people who become so judgmental that they can only have it their way.
For instance, I am not a perennial smoker, I honestly do only smoke occasionally when I really need to think and relax.
Several times I've been with a woman and we have those serious convos and I ask if I could smoke and every time I've been told no, well this pissed me off and I wasn't able to convey my thoughts because I was stressed in the situation and needed to relax so I could think straight.
Smoking once in a while won't kill you, and if it does, well you had a good run, I mean seriously eating fast food three times a week is worse for you than smoking once a day. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 6:30:59 PM | I always find it interesting that when a smoker, like the OP, poses a question such as he has, and non-smokers (like myself) weigh in with their opinions and experiences, we're called judgmental. After a few responses from the non-smokers that show we're not lining up behind the smokers and supporting them in their addiction (a word I've noticed used pretty freely in this post by the SMOKERS), the old saws get dragged out:
1.) do you drive a car that emits exhaust
2.) do you ever take a drink
3.) do you eat fast food
Aren't those points off-topic? The question was about smokers and non-smokers getting along, was it not?
This thread is soooooo redundant. I'm surprised the mods haven't deleted it. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 8:19:11 PM | I would have no problem dating a smoker. About the only thing that would annoy me is if they smoke very heavily in the house where the smoke was hanging in the air... though having a cigarette in the house is no problem as long as there's a candle lit to eat the smoke...
No biggie... and certainly not a deal breaker... | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:39:10 PM | | Lots of non-smokers are with smokers, not all non-smokers are self-righteous freaks about smokers, so it all depends on the person. It's not a black & white issue. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:42:01 PM | Well, I'm a big fan of old Cheech and Chong movies such as Up In Smoke
but I really don't want anyone who's Still Smokin' .
Pass on the yellow nails and teeth. 
And the frog breath.  | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:44:55 PM | I quit smoking 4/03/03....I promised myself I would not be one of those nasty complaining ex smokers.
I will say that I am curtious to all smokers, but the longer it gets from my quit date the less tolerance I seem to have for smokers.
I think I could tolerate dating a smoker, but not smoking in my car or house...Actually I stopped smoking in my house long before I stopped smoking. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/23/2009 9:54:12 PM |
Lots of non-smokers are with smokers, not all non-smokers are self-righteous freaks about smokers, so it all depends on the person. It's not a black & white issue. -- I agree with daynadaze -- If I met a woman who only smoked occassionally, was Drop-Dead gorgeous, didn't have Bubba Teeth from all the Tar & Nicotine, then SURE, I'd date her (before I'd consider dating someone who just didn't do it for me physically, but was a non-smoker)
Now, having said this, would I be doing my best to talk her into quitting -- Hell Yes I Would!!! Note: Dating someone who smokes doesn't imply that I'd marry a woman who smokes -- in the same way that dating a woman who gambles doesn't mean I'd marry a gambler. A vice is a vice -- I like Miami Vice, but not Mami's Vice!  | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:42:49 AM | Nearly all the men ive ever been involved with have been smokers.
Ive never smoked in my life.
But,it really doesnt bother me................!!
You can always open the windows.......
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 5/24/2009 6:47:02 AM | I have friends who smoke - they are careful not to around me. Cigarettes that is.. Other types of smoke don't bother me for the most part..
not all non-smokers are self-righteous freaks about smokers, so it all depends on the person
Very true - most of us aren't "self righteous freaks about smokers" - I am however just a 'tad' defensive about what I breath in. There are some of us who are Seriously Allergic to cigarette smoke - mostly because of the chemicals in them. I just enjoy spending my time outside Living. Cigarette smoke causes me a whole lotta grief and lands me in hospital on oxygen (if I don't avoid it).
Some smokers are respectful of other peoples rights to breath. Others expect 'us' to breath in their exhaust and pretend it isn't making us sick.
I say - "Smoke 'em if you got 'em" - but Don't expect me to compromise my health over your habit.
Really strong/cheap perfumes do the same for me .. probly why scents are no longer tolerated in many public places. I don't think that taking care of my health is being a "self-righteous freak" - I do think that 'label' is a weak attempt to make someone feel guilty for wanting to breath clean air.
We're all entitled to live our lives - just don't force yours on my lungs. thanks!
**Pot has proven medicinal qualities
**Tobacco has been proven as the lead cause of emphysema and has no redeeming qualities..
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:51:33 PM | | I always was leery of dating a smoker but thought that if someone great came along I could possibly tolerate it. Well last year I did meet someone great but found out pretty quick she was a heavy smoker. Big mistake! If you do not like it do yourself a favor and do not get involved with someone who is addicted to drug especially Nicotine! You cannot change them, they may say they want to quit but they will keep smoking and end up killing themselves and taking you down with them. Only ~5% of people who try to quit stay quit! | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:12:15 PM | I think both can...I am a non smoker
If he respect my wishes not to smoke in the house, car or any confined space I am in or my child (even if my child is 20), yes I would go out with a smoker. If he don't agree with me then I will not fight it. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:23:53 PM | I find it interesting that there isn't a "must be a smoker" feature for those who DO smoke.
Just because someone enjoys a good cigarette or cigar now and then doesn't mean they should have their choices taken away.
Personally, I don't have a problem dating non-smokers but honestly I feel more comfortable with at least an occasional smoker--pretty much because they "get it"...
Of course I don't smoke in vehicles and I take it outside, hate the smell of smoke in a home or establishment.
As long as they take their anti-smoker rhetoric outside, I'm good.
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:25:07 PM | | I am a smoker. No one has declined dated me because I smoke. Guess I make up for it on other ways. I am a fanatic about brushing teeth, and breath mints. If a guy actually makes it to a date with me, and we are in the "kissing" phase, he isnt going to be thinking about my smoking. Most of the guys I have dated, have not smoked. Go figure? | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:50:47 PM | Hi JLA1962,
Smokers and non-smokers can get along just fine. My dad and mom are proof of that.
My mom smoked.
My dad didn't.
My dad didn't complain or try to change her. He also didn't tell her about the dangers of smoking and so on. At age 42 after several failed attempts, she quit for good.
Now that I think about it, I admire my dad for how he respected my mom's decision to smoke. I don't smoke and have avoided contacting women who do smoke. Perhaps, I've been "shooting myself in the foot." I'm glad my dad was a better man than me in that regard.
Good fishing.
Sincerely,
Timothy | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:34:21 PM | | As for me i wont date a smoker.. I dont like the smell and i do care for my own health. I wont tell people to smoke of not as that is there choice. Its my choice not to be there. For me i love to kiss and cuddle, To have some one smell is a turn off . Besides i rather not kiss someone that smells and taste like an hotel ashtray.... Most smokers dont notice it which i understand. But as was stated before if they stop for a while they start to notice the smell... | |
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Twooit
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Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 49 | |
| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/6/2009 4:59:10 AM | | Back when I was a smoker I was in a 2 1/2 year relationship for about a year before she found out. And that's only because she stopped by my work. I was one of the OCD smokers. The ones that wash their hands and chew gum after every cigarette and don't smoke around groups of people OR anyone who didn't smoke. Took her by surprise, but she didn't care because she couldn't even tell I did. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:36:06 AM |
why do so few tick the must not smoke in the who can contact me box. I don't want to date anyone who smokes cigarettes, but I don't begrudge someone the occasional cigar out on the deck, or the occasional 420, so that's why I don't block people who smoke.
I have friends who smoke - they are careful not to around me. Cigarettes that is.. Other types of smoke don't bother me for the most part.. Yep, in moderation. | |
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