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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 7/31/2009 12:49:51 AM | Why are people labelled as whiny, pouty and judgemental because they choose to not date smokers? Would the same people making that accusation label people as such for choosing to not date a pet owner? A fat person? Someone with kids? Someone who has health issues? Someone who isn't working? Someone from another religion? Good grief, not everyone wants to date someone with your habit. Get over yourselves.
There are many reasons why I'm not interested in dating a smoker (I do not have the restriction on my email because 1. I'm not really looking for someone to date and 2. I want people to be able to message me about forums etc):
-I'm an ex smoker - 10 years this fall - and do not want to be tempted to start again
- I'm diabetic, which is why I quit in the first place - 95% of limb amputations on diabetics are on smokers, smoking impairs circulation, so does diabetes, both together are double whammys.
- I have allergy induced asthma
- being around smoke makes my eyes water and sting and my throat hurt
- I do not want the smell in my home and even if the person smokes outside, it sticks in their hair and clothes, plus there is what they call "third hand smoke", which is also a health hazard
- I do not want to kiss an ashtray
I'm not fanatical about it, I have friends who smoke and I never complain about them smoking when I'm in their car or home. They don't smoke in my home; while I've never forbidden it I appreciate the courtesy. However, I do not want to be around it 24/7 or to the extent I would be when seeing a dating partner. That is my choice - I'm not "whining" about it, I'm just making a statement about my choices. I know not everyone is interested in me - a fat chick with a dog who has numerous health and chronic pain issues - and I am not offended by that. Everyone is entitled to their preferences and deal breakers. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 7/31/2009 9:12:17 AM |
Wow. Never guessed there'd be so many outright, whiny, pouty, and judgemental non-smokers. And all of them - save for a few with health problems - use the "official warning sign they're about to say something spiteful", the statement about nothing against smokers, it's their choice, yada, yada, yada...but. 50 years ago, the world "blacks" (well, something worse) would've filled the role "smokers" do today.
Of all the things to nitpick and worry about, you're picking the one that can cured with a breath mint, instead of something requiring a good and extremely patient psychologist. Kudos to you, you reach levels of shallow I could only hope to one day reach even if I had the strength of five men.
And keep in mind, I'm a non-smoker. I just haven't reached the point of pathetic that makes one see someone interesting, and perhaps compatiable (which is why we're here in the first place)only say..."Oh, no! Not them! It's evil smoker! Nevermind! Run! Run!"
Who ever said smokers are evil? I am whiny and pouty because I choose not to date a smoker? No, I just do not want to date someone that smokes. Sorry a breath mint does NOT cut it and does nothing to fix the smell smoking leaves behind in clothes, cars and homes. Equating not wanting to date smokers to racism is a bit asinine. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/13/2009 12:00:51 AM |
Wow. Never guessed there'd be so many outright, whiny, pouty, and judgemental non-smokers. And all of them - save for a few with health problems - use the "official warning sign they're about to say something spiteful", the statement about nothing against smokers, it's their choice, yada, yada, yada...but. 50 years ago, the world "blacks" (well, something worse) would've filled the role "smokers" do today.
Of all the things to nitpick and worry about, you're picking the one that can cured with a breath mint, instead of something requiring a good and extremely patient psychologist. Kudos to you, you reach levels of shallow I could only hope to one day reach even if I had the strength of five men.
And keep in mind, I'm a non-smoker. I just haven't reached the point of pathetic that makes one see someone interesting, and perhaps compatiable (which is why we're here in the first place)only say..."Oh, no! Not them! It's evil smoker! Nevermind! Run! Run!"
Sounds like you have not dated a women who smokes a lot. Try it and report back... | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/13/2009 12:25:44 AM | How can a non-smoker attempt to have a relationship with I'm-addicted-behavior, that exhibits they don't even care about their health? If they don't care about themselves, do you really think they can care for anyone else?
Common sense would indicate that any addiction belies unresolved emotional/mental issues. Not only is the smoke disgusting, but I can't even imagine the turmoil in trying to kiss!
Sorry but "breath mints" do not extinguish a smokers bad breath, neither does it diminish the nasty odor on their clothing, in their car, in their home, or on their pets.
For the most part smokers have no idea just how bad they smell.
They'll be ready for a relationship with a non-smoker once they kick the habit. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/13/2009 7:09:31 AM | it's all a persons right -- and some have their ideas and may be missing out on a truly wonderful most awsome person because of smoking... that is their chance and right.
I myself will not smoke in some ones house or vehicle or while walking holding hands. I wont kiss some one after smoking unless I've had a mint or something else to take the taste away (I also can't stand the taste or smell haahaaa).
I DO however understand allergies as my grandmother and aunt are/were severely allergic to the smoke -- even outside their eyes would redden and swell.
It is all a persons perception to what they will and wont have in their life and can't knock some one down for it really.
I hate the smell and taste of beer BUT would date some one who drank (OK so depends on how much they drank), but then that is my choice, I don't know if I could date some one who smoke cigars or pipes as I get extremely nausious from them..... doesn't make me a bad person.
As fa as looks go .. maybe smoking does deminish the looks sooner but I've seen a lot of people who never touched a thing in their life and well not going to go further cause that would be cruel.
good luck to you all and remember it is all about choices and can't knock some one down for who, what or why they believe | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/13/2009 8:04:03 AM | forgot to add ... was with a non smoker for 9 years and it was never a question or a problem ... NOW the moldy house which he refused to move out of or get taken care of was way worse on our health and had to move after a lot of major health issues became of it (which is what was the final end of our marriage... not our smoking just his not wanting ot give up his first boughten house on 80 acres)
So yes it can happen between a smoker and non smoker | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:44:47 PM | good luck to you all and remember it is all about choices and can't knock some one down for who, what or why they believe
I'm sorry but it's not a choice or who or what you believe. You are addicted to cigarettes. Who would choose to live a life of tobacco, imprisoned by it, unable to stop and slowing taking it's toll on your mortal body? That first few cigarettes and and trying to be cool and fitting in is what gets most people addicted to it. The choice ended once you got hooked!
Smokers and non smokers will never mix. As the cigarettes will always come before the other person. I am shocked that some tolerate it. I cannot. Tried it and failed miserably! | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:49:32 PM |
I'm sorry but it's not a choice or who or what you believe. You are addicted to cigarettes. Who would choose to live a life of tobacco, imprisoned by it, unable to stop and slowing taking it's toll on your mortal body? That first few cigarettes and and trying to be cool and fitting in is what gets most people addicted to it. The choice ended once you got hooked!
Really? I always love these cavalier oversimplifications of complex issues and human psychology. That somehow all folks who smoke do it in an 'effort to be cool' may be true, but not in the way you think. One only has to look back in history to realize some of the greatest and most creative minds smoked heavily and usually drank copious amounts of coffee too. Literally fueled as it were by their 'nasty habit'. Presidents, writers, journalists, artists, musicians, and risk takers in general.
The bottom line is that there is a significant difference between smokers and non-smokers, something I noticed at a very young age. It wasn't the sight of a cigarette that made them different it was the way they acted, looked, behaved... their whole outlook on life and how to live it. As we age it does appear to make sense to quit smoking. For me though I would prefer a women who is an ex-smoker ( who hopefully hasn't had to move on to psychotropic drugs to scratch the itch), than a life long non-smoker. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 3:31:30 PM | ^^^I concur with what Gus said.
We ARE completely different.
I remember years ago when you could actually smoke in dance halls. The smokers were put on one side of the hall and the non-smokers on the other side.
My girlfriends and I watched the differences between the two crowds.
Smokers were far more sociable and more party-animal than the non-smokers. We also noted they were more open and affectionate. The non-smokers on the other hand were more tee-totalish and quiet and behaved in an emotionally cooler way.
To be honest, I know it's a bad habit, but I do enjoy my cigarette here and there despite the claims made as to the damage it does.
However, I am not highly attracted to non-smokers either. I think they are just afraid to die. I see all health freaks as people who are afraid to die. Then again you have your normal people who just didn't take to the cigarette and they are usually pretty cool.
But nothing I can't stand more than a non-smoker who gets all prissy about it. I really wish they'd just get the fvck out of my face and leave me alone. I don't want their company anyway. I wish they'd realize us "bad smokers" don't need their company as much as they dream we do.
I'll quit when I'm ready to quit and no protesting, loud mouthed non-smoker is going to change that. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 4:40:58 PM | Dear Friends,
Like many other things I have noticed here in the fora, this issue seems to polarise. This time, however, the split is based not so much upon anything wild or irrational but a genuine issue. Yet there is more to be said.
Smoking means more than one thing. I smoke a pipe a few times during the day, when not in one of the American clean zones, which are spreading, sadly, worldwide. Were I not destitute, I would certainly have a cigar after dinner. Presuming I could first afford the dinner. Habit? Not quite. Unlike coffee, I can go for weeks without smoking, and admit, that I do not inhale.
Now, what I may be saying in my sad way is that Bach smoked, Brahms smoked, Freud smoked(although he did, in fact, succumb to oral cancer) and the taste of tobacco is a joy. It is part of our civilisation. Like many parts of civilisation, however, as it filtered down, no pun intended, or perhaps intended, tobacco became huge business. As long as the tobacco lords, those wonderful Scots who built a world based upon trade, invention and sheer guts to face down the Bank of England, saw that a pipe or two was profit, they built companies. So far, so good.
Ever notice the difference between a pure tobacco cigarette and the Marlboros from the flip top boxes in the tee shirt sleeves? I thought so. Most people have never been there. A few, say five or six of those per diem, probably have a statistically insignificant effect upon pathology. So why the cancer phobia? As tobacco became mass produced, the average cigarette was to either a good cigar or real cigarette as a chevy is to a jaguar. How does one make money on a product that is used a few times a day, not too dear, and relatively common? Nicotine is, in fact, addictive, as is caffeine. I drink a few cups of java every morning, and without it would suffer terrible headaches for a few days. Cigarettes? Why do I, or others, not end up with a ten cup a day habit? Enter Starbucks, Marlboro, even your local crack dealer. They make sure - I have students who are poorer than I with a coffee habit I never had in Europe where coffee was decent and I was flush. I know teens who cannot eat but hide cigarettes so the second school is out, they light up. I know no crack addicts, but then again, my life is boring.
Cigarette manufacturers needed to up the nicotine, make the "parts" cheaper, and addict more folks. Thus the two pack a day habit was born.
Do I, or does any sane person, suggest that two packs of cigarettes per diem is intelligent, safe, wholesome, or even tastes good? Or that drinking a quart of cheap vodka is the same as discussing the vintages served with the dinner? Would I suggest a patient taking any form of premarin smoke?
Come, come.
I live by the old rules, as much as I insist upon equality and detest chivalry. I have never smoked in front of anyone without asking, long, long before the whole anti-smoke craze. At the beginning of the anti-smoking time, I was still often accompanying auditions In NY. There were ash trays on every piano. I always had my pipe. Out of respect for the young singers, I decided to occupy myself with knitting instead. I knitted and tore out the same red scarf about a dozen times before even the most rabid anti-smoke student finally ripped the pathetic handiwork from me, and bought me a rather way too expensive box of Macanudos, with the order never to knit again. I never did.
Now, no one has ever refused to date me because I smoke. That may be, of course, because no one has considered dating me.
Love to all,
CdC | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:39:51 PM | This post just made me realize something.
Every boyfriend I've had smoked. I, apart from the occasional cigar, am a non-smoker.
Weird. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:21:57 PM | | I have no interest in someone who hasn't indicated that he either prefers not say or smokes occasionally/often. Just don't want the hassles. | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:26:35 PM | | hi.. I am a non smoker who used to smoke and I would not date a smoker now because I have no desire to return to that lifestyle, on any level.... it is a life robbing practice and it would hurt me to see someone that I care about do that to themself, yuk on the kissing too..... many blessings for health and happiness | |
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| smokers and non smokers can they get on
Posted: 8/19/2009 9:44:12 PM | I'm a non-smoker. I don't like the taste of tobacco. Maybe a woman who tastes like tobacco is a bonus to some. What could be better to Larry the Cable Guy than coochie that smells and tastes like tobacco? Gitter done!
Restricting mail to exclude smokers is an all or nothing selection. It excludes the subjectively defined "occasional smoker." I'd date a woman who occasionally smokes as long as she doesn't taste like chewing tobacco and doesn't want to smoke in my car. Otherwise, she should find another guy. Life's too short for her to change for me, and for her, it'll probably be even shorter as a smoker. It makes many women age faster, too, so that doesn't bode well for LTR's.
[img]http://www.myinterestingfiles.com/images/2008/03/anti_smoking_campaign_from_america_top_model_1.jpg[/img] | |
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