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 wild heart
Joined: 10/14/2007
Msg: 26
Good enough only for sexPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Yeah, I don't get it either. The only reason I can think of is if I were cheating and since I don't and never have - I wouldn't be doing that sh*t.
 scottoliver
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 27
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/27/2009 12:03:38 PM
Why would I have sex with someone I wouldn't take out in Public??? Because I just could have sex without spending the time and money taking them out.
 swtcarolinej
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 28
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/27/2009 1:16:42 PM
WOW not wanting to spend money on them, but having sex with them now thats classey!!!just my opinion...I personally think if a guy doesnt want to spend time with me outside the bedroom hes not gonna get into my bed!!thats tacky!!!! some are just hard up as well as CHEAP!!!
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 29
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 2:00:04 PM


Msg: 25 -- Damn what ever happened to "Discretion"? If a chick wanted
to jump my bones and wanted discretion then her wish is my command. Or
was this a trick question.


"Discretion"? What is that? Any time I see a man and woman together I
automatically presume they have slept together at LEAST once and think
nothing of it. The discretion is more on my part than theirs, in SPITE
of my presumption, which remains private as well. The opinion is MINE
alone and has no intent of bias toward them.
 humptyhump1984
Joined: 5/14/2009
Msg: 30
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:34:35 PM
Because I need to bust a nut every now and then regardless of the situation...
 TampaRays
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 31
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:37:25 PM
Hey, it's sometime like riding a moped, it's fun but you never want anybody to see you riding it.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 32
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:42:05 PM
In many cases, a man doesn't want to date or be seen with unattractive woman. But he would will have sex with an unattractive woman because of the following reasons.

1. He was drunk
2. He was horny
3. A woman aggressively went him and she was "easy".
4. He was desperate / has low esteeem and felt he couldn't do any better

In other cases, a man could be attracted to a woman. But is concerned about what other people might think. This could happen when there is large age difference, interracial relationship, one person is significantly overweight etc.
 angie818
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 33
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 3:52:06 PM
well.. sometimes I just want sex and I don't want to be bothered with a social aspect. (hate to say that... and yes, I'm a woman with original factory issue parts) When you're in a fvck buddy situation sometimes all you want is maybe order some Chinese, rent a movie and get to business.
 Connor-19
Joined: 1/27/2009
Msg: 34
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:17:14 PM
There's a term out there called "Fvck Buddies" (well with a "u" and not a "v")

A lot of people in my high school were such. They dated but didn't really match and became "best of buds"

It's not that they wouldn't want to be seen with them in public they just weren't a good match, and therefore did the only thing they did well together O_O
 RioVonWolf
Joined: 6/5/2006
Msg: 35
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:22:51 PM
Perhaps the choice of words is the issue. The person may not want a "dating" relationship. Be male or female it is not that they are ashamed it may be for many different reasons: the other is controlling or otherwise annoying in public, they are on the "downlow" and have an image to uphold, That was never part of the equation, They run in different circles, That never came up. Some people may not wish to have anyone know that they have a lover, it could be culture where they themselves have a self image that is at odds with their sexual self. Some hide there sexuality dating one man/or woman openly but having sedx with a "backdoor" person to keep up their image with the person they are interested in for serious relationship but have needs that a BB,FWB,BC can meet. The job maybe all consuming with little time for a relationship or they just came out of one and want some freedom,
Ashamed never is part of the the thought process.
 openlover35
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 36
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 4:29:12 PM

Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public?


That statement right there is exactly why I've changed my ways within the past year. I've noticed that , too. (even though, it hasnt been that way with ALL men)
If a guy shows no effort, then all he gets in return from me is.... NOTHING!
"There's only so many bridges one can burn."
 azurebeone
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 37
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 5/28/2009 5:03:46 PM
Most likely the one not wanting to go out in public has something to hide and is pursuing a "discreet" relationship without informing the other the reason for discretion.. the other gf/bf in their life that might hear from a friend seeing them together. If a person refuses to take you out anywhere, but just wants booty, then that's a huge red flag, in my estimation.

Cheers!
 LivinLovinAndLaughin
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 38
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:12:10 AM
This is a topic in which I've become aware, PERSONALLY. Sex isn't something I give away freely, and when it is given, there is a reason. Attraction! And the "attraction" includes, liking what I see, wanting to get to know more about the person, because what I see already, I like. I guess I'm not up to date on WHY, it doesn't go both ways.
Are some men really so shallow that this is ALL they are looking for?
 mogrl42
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 39
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:17:59 AM
maybe all they are interested in is sex and since you can`t do it in puplic theres no reason to take some people out in puplic
Who knows,everybody is different
 likelikeyou
Joined: 8/3/2009
Msg: 40
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:49:24 AM
Well no one should be skipping directly from POF to the bedroom anyway. If they won't meet you for coffee in a public place to meet the first time, then move on. Anyone (especially female) who thinks this is ok, is telling the other that it is acceptable. And if the other is only looking for that, then why would they later go to dinner if they know you will go straight to the bedroom?

If it is dinner in public that you want then stick to it! And never make the deal that if we meet for coffee we will go somewhere after, or they are just doing that for your sake. If they don't want to meet and chat in public to see if there is chemistry then that should be your first and only warning!

Personally, a coffee date is a must, then each goes home (alone) if they don't like it...oh well.
 MePlusTwo
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 41
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:51:59 AM
Well it's totally not my thing, but I guess if you find sex enjoyable and satisfying without it needing to be anything more than a physical connection, then why not?

I am not so sure it's even a question of being "good enough." Either the people involved don't want a relationship with *anyone* at that time or they know they don't want one with that person.

Either way, if both people are 'on the same page' and cool with the arrangement, then go for it I think. What's the the issue?
 miss_contemplative
Joined: 3/12/2008
Msg: 42
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:56:38 AM
I reckon they do it because they can and because they have someone willing to be isolated with them for the purposes of sex.

These people are way up there on the evolutionary scale.
 luv2drinkchai
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 43
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:04:34 AM
I've been the girl who was 'good enough only for sex'. Met someone on POF when I was looking for an NSA relationship. We met at a pub for a drink and then met up a dozen times after that, always at my place or his place. The sex was really good, it was the definition of NSA. We'd chat for a few minutes, have sex, chat for 5 more minutes and then be on our way. Eventually I realized that while he liked me, my figure (very large, but proportionate - big boobs, big bum, big everything!) was a fetish of his. He would NEVER date a big woman. He told me that he found me extremely attractive, thought I was beautiful, wanted pictures of me, that I was so sexy and turned him on more than anyone ever had. HOWEVER...he was not attracted to me in a 'girlfriend' way.

I wasn't interested in him as a boyfriend, for various reasons. Too young, party-type, our personalities wouldn't mesh well. Just knowing that he wouldn't want to be seen in public with me really turned me off though, and I ended the NSA thing immediately. He felt horrible and that he'd hurt my feelings.

I feel sorry for him though, that peer pressure or society's pressure will likely lead him to a relationship with a fit or petite woman who I'm sure he will love, but who won't turn his crank like a big woman could. It makes me think that he will be likely to be tempted to cheat. If he got over his hang-up about what everyone else thinks, he could find a beautiful, funny, smart, big sexy woman who would be his perfect match, in every way.
 nate_in_fl
Joined: 3/8/2009
Msg: 44
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:09:50 AM
It could also be that the girl could have a rep for being a real skank. A guy that lived in my dorm at college did this one girl & once people found out they were like "Dude, you better get your ass straight down to the university clinic."
 IdoDares1
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 45
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:24:16 AM

This pretains to men and women. Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public? I have come across men and woman who think this way. I don't have sex with anyone that I would not be caught dead in public with. If you are ashamed to be seen in public with them, why would you have sex with them?


Everyone isn't looking for dates or permanent relationships. Some folks are looking for intimate or sexual encounters, some are looking for other type relationships like an activity partner (not all activities are public).

Yes if you are dating someone you shouldn't be afraid to be seen in public, same goes with if you are in a committed relationship, but, that is not the totality of relationship combinations out there. There are quite literally hundreds of reasons why you might be involved with a person but not wish that to be public.

Happens in all walks of life and not just personal relationships, a person in business mighht not want to be seen with certain people in public. A person in politics might not want to be seen with certain people. A person in law enforcement might not want to be seen with certain people. etc.. This is pretty basic the reasons limitless and many very valid reasons. Folks that are spouting off that it must mean a few nefarious reasons and nothing but really are out to lunch.
 LivinLovinAndLaughin
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 46
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:03:36 AM
Above poster.... I fully understand some looking ONLY for sexual encounter, etc. BUT... as for POF... It plainly asks you to state what you're looking for. This being the case, why would one looking for the sexual encounter approach someone who is looking for a LTR, and vice-versa. Do some think this "let me see if I can get her in the sack and move on?" A conquest? I also know some ladies who do this as well. So don't think I'm picking on the men here.

I'm just saying if it say's they're looking for a LTR. Assume it to be so.
Just like, if it says they're looking for an intimate encounter we KNOW this is the ONLY thing they are looking for. So why even bother with them if you're not looking for the same? Just as if you don't want someone who is a BBW, yet you seek them out. You don't want a drug user, but you still chat. If I've ever learned one thing in my dating experiences is MOST will state what they want. If a guy says, I'm NOT looking for a relationship. This is what they mean. Yet, I hear women say, Ohhhhh... I can change that. Why would you want to do that? They told you from the start the truth. But then they cry and say "I don't know what I've done" HAH.. silly!

I guess I'm just old school who say's what she means, and expects the same of others.
 IdoDares1
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 47
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:32:18 AM
LivinLovinAndLaughin, I don't get it, what does this have to do with the question I answered?
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 48
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 10:46:20 AM

This pretains to men and women. Why do some think that a person is good enough for sex but not good enough to take out in public? I have come across men and woman who think this way. I don't have sex with anyone that I would not be caught dead in public with. If you are ashamed to be seen in public with them, why would you have sex with them?


Never bumped into this quandary, OP. Just the opposite, actually, as I've always looked for ways to have some sort of sex with her in public. Sometimes, THAT's a problem, but only because of her inhibitions. lol
 Amboyace
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 49
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Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:27:12 PM
Hey, I grew up in a predominantly White neighborhood/High School/College, etc, and I'm not White.

I know for a FACT there was a whole lot of down-low, behind-closed-doors sex going on. That's how the game was played, because there was a social stigma (and still is some places) about interracial dating. So these random discreet, hook-ups went down.
I knew a more than a few girls that would take you "somewhere", but not to the Prom, and certainly not home to meet Mom and Dad.

This was also the deal with my gay and lesbian friends who weren't quite ready to come out, and friends from fundamentalist religious family backgrounds who would be shunned or worse. Kids from well-to-do or prominent families hid their sex lives, too. Some of the worst ones were the college-prep girls who had to keep their "reputations", but worked the best keg parties after Football games.



 ready_red25078
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 50
Good enough only for sex
Posted: 8/9/2009 8:32:20 PM
you don't have to have me on your arm, but you can't be ashamed to see seen with me, odds are your gonna be seen with me in public or by peeps either one of use know before you get to screw my brains out
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