| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:27:41 AM | these females that don't have pictures, what's the deal here?? I mean do you think the guys are gonna repond to your profile without a picture?? let's be fair about this now.  | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:44:23 PM | Back to the topic... I can speak for myself and say yes, some like me (40) are looking for longterm, though I must admit I've been solo more often than not, and I'm undamaged, but unfamiliar with that level of commitment. Not afraid of it, but finding the right match takes a bit of trial and error... hopefully not too much of the latter :)
On the other hand, men that HAVE been in long term relationships are likely a bit gun shy, or just messed up. At least the ones I know are, and they definitely don't want it on paper again, if they are divorced. They also tend to have kids, so are over the need to pass it on, so to speak... | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:47:38 PM | | Its kind of sad how much a lot has changed over the last 20 yrs. Now a days even guys my age arnt ready to get into a relationship. Im suprised one of my good friends is still married to be honest. Ive always been the only one in my group wanting to settle down. Problem is most guys on here are looking for multiple options, weather it be for just sex or multiple women to date. Commitment seems like has become a word that nobody takes seriously anymore. Its a shame cause it makes it harder for guys like me who acually want to find a relationship. Keep your head up. It will happen. Just dont give up | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:06:48 PM | | yes big time we really do exist but with people the way they are on this site it leaves a man completely baffled and to the point where its not even worth trying to make contact but you should try the first contact approach it may help happy fishing. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:16:23 PM | | Seeking2009....It's not gonna happen without a picture! Women, no different then men. They want to see what a guy looks like. Do you really expect to have women write to you without even a picture posted? It's hard enough to get a woman to make first contact...but without a picture, I think you are wasting your time. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:47:24 PM | | Im looking for the same also.I`m looking for a long lasting relationship but it has been quite the challenge to find.I found that most women on here are mainly on the rebound,just coming out of a relationship..not knowing what they want.I on the other hand want something solid.I want to find a woman who is strong on commitment like I am.I woman who can be there for me for the good and bad,me likewise.I`m tired of games,I want something real and longlasting. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 7:53:20 PM | | Peggy,Im truly sorry...a woman as beautiful as you do not deserve to endure such pain.Not all men are the same.Me for instance,I am strong on commitment so majority of the time its the woman who walks out on me. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/3/2009 8:02:28 PM | | yes ive been hurt real bad im getting over her im 40 years of age and would love a long term reltionship but my health problems stopping me on doing that right now im getting better im running everyday and losing my wieght looking looking lol | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:42:21 PM | | I am guessing that there are lots of guys out there that want the same thing as you..but... do you want them? By that I mean we go through life and decide to choose our mate by what ever means we feel the connection. We look for that spark and when we dont have it we dont want them. This is not anything new it have been going on for as long as man has walked the earth. It is unfortunate that you have not found someone who feels that spark with you but hang in there and may look at someone you might not normally look at. You just might be surprised. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:37:10 PM | | I think Bob Seger summed it up once didnt he? Start with fire and you lose the flame, ashes smolder but the warmth soon gone, you end up cold and lonely on your own. Thats my story and im stickin to it. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/4/2009 11:13:34 PM | OP, it is often the claim that men have more difficulty being alone than women do.
I would have to agree to this based on my observations. Men seem to want to be taken care of as they age. Women tend to get more involved in their children/grandchildren's lives and their community so they tend to lean on that for support.
But I would say that men who are 40 and up are probably the MOST likely to be looking for longterm. At least that's what I'm seeing. I find they want to move awful fast too which is often a problem for me. They also refer to themselves as "old" a lot which I find bothers me a great deal. Not all, but many. Very bizarre. 40 is not old! hello? | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 6/5/2009 3:06:31 AM |
OP, it is often the claim that men have more difficulty being alone than women do.
Sadly, I have to say I agree. I have felt this and observed this often. Even with my ex-wife. Men in their twenties may be less inclined to want a life long commitment while women are thinking of a shared life, having babies and love ever after. once women hit forty plus and have raised their kids and now have the grand babies, they do not need a man in their life as much as they did in their younger years. Especially if their marriage was less then perfect filled with his cheating, drinking, lack of understanding, lack of intimacy and romance. Or worse yet, his being a controlling jerk and abusive.
I would have to agree to this based on my observations. Men seem to want to be taken care of as they age. Women tend to get more involved in their children/grandchildren's lives and their community so they tend to lean on that for support.
I agree in part, but I want to add that for some of us, we begin to see the woman's needs better, We begin to really want to share, and really care for a woman. We tend to appreciate them more. We want to take care of them as much if not more then being taken care of.
But I would say that men who are 40 and up are probably the MOST likely to be looking for long term. At least that's what I'm seeing. I find they want to move awful fast too which is often a problem for me. They also refer to themselves as "old" a lot which I find bothers me a great deal. Not all, but many. Very bizarre. 40 is not old! hello?
Again, I fully agree. We look for long term much more. We are slow learners. What women wanted in their twenties is not what we men finally learned is important and now want that commitment we took for granted in our twenties. I also agree that many of us move to fast. That biological clock is ticking and we realize we don't have that many years left! So we don't want to waste or time with "dating" If we feel chemistry, we tend to want to commit much sooner then women in our age group.
As for feeling old, not me! I will never feel old! I fight that everyday. I'm still just a kid.
That's one reason my profile says that if you ride a three wheeled bicyle...we will not be right for each other. I hate theidea of retirement communities. A place to go die to me. And that three wheeler is the symbol of old age to me. You will never see me on one! To me, 60 is not old! But I have seen men that are only 50 that look like they are ready for that damn 3 wheeler! lol | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/3/2009 11:12:14 AM | Age is just a number. sadly most people thinks a man over 50 should just give up. guess that's why you see so many of them over 50 reading in these forums.Yes i happen to be one of them. i've been kicked around because of my age as well. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:51:41 AM | | Seems you have recieved a wide array of advice on this subject.. Even someone posted the comment on the type of people that reply.. which shows their level of intelligence or lack thereof....most men are looking for one woman for a long term relationship..we just tend to fixate on something in particular about a woman that keeps our interest and allows it to get serious, it could be humor, personality, figure, sex, passion, intelligence..whatever ... so when the guy comes along that is looking for exactly what you have to offer, he will be extremely serious.. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/5/2009 11:58:51 AM | Perhaps I could offer a possible answer to your question that many men over 40 could agree with. Several men over 40 whose relationships have failed are not only emotionally hurt, but financially hurt as well. If a single male shacks up with a woman with kids for over 2 years becomes financially obliged to contribute to child support. There could be a "real" dad in the picture who shows up, but offers little to no financial support for the children. Nevertheless, the court look towards the best interest of the children, requiring someone to contribute to the mothers economic burden...it ends up becoming the single male who got involved. So, not only is the male hurt from the failed relationship, but he has to pay as well.
I hope this clarifies not all of the reasons, but why some males do not want anything too serious.
canadablueyes | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/5/2009 10:49:59 PM | Here's what you do-
Put your pics on so we KNOW you're a woman. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder; most guys over 40 have heard the 'inner beauty' story and we all know women are just as capable of lying as men are. If someday you find someone remember it's YOUR face he will be looking at in the morning. Your inner beauty will keep him in love with you as you both get older.
Guys over 40 have been hurt. If he doesn't talk about it then he's dealt with it and it's done, consider yourself lucky. If he dwells on it he probably still needs his mommy and you might be it. If you want that role, then be happy. In any case you need to earn his TRUST before you get any chance at commitment. Guys over 40 get burnt once and are twice shy if they're worth going after. Guys that get burnt more than once are thinking with the little head.
Personally I would love to share my life with someone who wants to share theirs, but without the 'things'. I want the chemistry, the spontenaeity,and the experiences.
Good luck. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/6/2009 5:32:44 PM | | I don't know about men over 40...but I do know from experience...that men over 50 are definately looking for long term relationship...And I like that!!!! I think, no matter what your age is, that we are ALL looking to be loved, respected and validated. I have no problem with people who are not interested in long term...as long as they are honest about it going in. That way a person can make an informed decision if they even want to meet someone like that. We have all taken beatings in love...but I still think it is better to have loved and lost..then never to have loved at all..No regrets...and begin each new relationship with a clean slate. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/9/2009 10:02:36 PM | I have met a few guys and some only want sex and others are insulted if you bring up sex so which one do we do I have been on both sides and am still alone with no idea where to go from here because i am not sure how to act anymore . they also want you to be yourself , how much of that is true | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/10/2009 5:27:21 PM | gmoneygeorge,
Some women, like guys are scum. I'm sorry you AND your children were hurt by this "lady"...There are good ones out there, sadly, there are more jerks and shallow idiots then there are good ones. I too was married for 20 years, long story short, I put up with his abuse and put down, and I have yet the courage to date...still licking my wounds. So many men want "barbie dolls" this chickie isn't one of them, BUT, I am honest, faithful and loyal. Then why did I leave my ex----I put up with his abuse, but when he started on the children, enough was enough....I took my kids and left. It's been three years...and there is NO going back.
Off my soap box....Cudo's to you for raising the kids...stay strong and wait...you don't just want ANY woman, you want the right woman....one with heart and a soul. She is out there...God bless, yankee gurl | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:08:50 PM | To bad your asking for anyone over " 50 " ! There are many of males out there ,for you to enjoy! But on POF you need to look through the profiles to find your "heart throb". Keep on looking for what you want.
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/10/2009 6:52:38 PM | I cant speak for every man, but there are those of us that seek a long lasting relationship.
Men dont cry when they are hurt, even a man such as my self who wears a thick coat of armor. A man who was truly in love carries that pain around for a long, long time.
Some of us are tired of being used to help a woman out of a finacial disaster only to be dumped like a piece of rubbish
I have been on POF for over a year with many a date, and each one expects me to finance theyre vacations, hobbies, outstanding bills, ect.....
Do women even know what a long lasting relationship is?
I have a drawer full of cards that say "I love you with all my heart".
True Love does not die!!!!!! I find alot of women who use that word like its nothing.
Billy | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/11/2009 3:03:13 PM | | I definitely want a LTR, preferrably leading to marriage. A very good question really! What puzzles me is when you read what someone is looking for, then when you meet close to, or all of, the qualities the person is looking for, but yet never get any reply when sending email. Actually, that is a mystery I don't seem any closer to solving. To answer your question though, Yes, I think there are a lot of men and women who do want something permanent, although it may not always seem like it. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/12/2009 12:06:13 PM |
Are there any men over 40 that are really seriously seeking a long lasting relationship?
Yes - but there are few women who want that too you know, or if they do, its only with "Charles Atlas", just as many men only want it with "Byonce".
Well, when you're 80 you won't be either, and both the women and men who stick that up top of their criteria list are the ones who will continue to be asking this question for the next 40 years.
Come have a look around and send some emails - yeah, you'll send a lot and get a lot of "no replies" - the "my mate should be on Survivor" thing is common, but there are some real people out there who, if you take the time to get to know us, will surprise you. | |
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| Question for you guys
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:07:08 PM | Caring and Sweet,
I am in the same boat as you.It is frightening to be back out in the "single"world.How do you know if you are not just going to be taken advantage of.I want that relationship so much but I am afraid of being duped.
Perhaps that is a fault of mine.I like to be up front and know that the possiblity is therefor a long term relationship.I do not like to date around.Time is of value at this stage in life.I want a serious relationship,not casual.
The defense mechanism's are there.I know what areas I do not want to revisit.I also don't want to be any one's teacher.At this stage in life we are what we are.Sure the window of opportunity is there for all of life's expeirence.It's more about trying to minimize the negative.
At this stage most of us know who we are and have our professional lives to attend too.Most likely we're parents and or grandparents.What spare time we have we don't want to waste it.
As far as not being over "it" or in pain to me exhibits quite a bit that indicates the level of growth that that individual is at.If those factors are present then perhaps it is time to move on.
For me this is the scary part.Putting myself out there and risking the rejection.I know what I have to offer and I know how to exist in a relationship.Because a relationship is terminated both parties contributed to its failure. | |
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