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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 7:02:22 AM | Very well said, ladyluvlaff
At 55, I am younger thinking and acting than many people my age, male AND female - I try to stay focused on right now and tomorrow- not fixated on grand kids (probably because I have no children at all) or past relationships or glory days of the past or knitting sweaters at home. I'm not a sex kitten - I definitely don't give out free samples, but I'm very affectionate, sexy and playful within a committed relationship. I'm versatile in my interests, enjoy going and doing most anything, always funloving and outgoing. I'm totally comfortable with who I am and I genuinely enjoy the pleasure of an interesting man's company. And I do NOT date ANYONE that I consider boring, a stuffed shirt or put off by my sexiness - at least not more than once when I figured that one out! I love for my man to be a MAN - not intimidated by me, but a confident, masculine personality that appreciates my femininity and that we enjoy one another's strengths and complement the other's weaknesses. We are definately sisters under the skin; same age, same attitudes, same confidence.
A man needs not be intimidated by me as I will not be by him. Self assurance is SO sexy!
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 7:19:27 AM | I can only answer for myself, so here goes...........
To me, there is nothing better than a relationship with a woman my age. I like a partner to be fairly close to my age. I want them to have the ability to identify with like experiences from life experiences. If I mention Vietnam, Neil Armstrong or Watergate and my partner has only read about them, I'm not sharing the experiences with an equal, if you will. I don't want to give history lessons, or try to explain too much. Again, I want a partner with a shared time line.
If we connect on a personal level, share some chemistry, past life experiences, and current lifestyle she will be the sexiest woman in the world to me. I like to think I'm secure enough in myself to not be intimidated by women at all. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 7:49:53 AM | A number of older men have more choices than they did as younger men.
The increase in choices upsets some men and they are unable to deal with that successfully.
I seriously doubt that many (or even most) older men would be "intimidated" by an older sexy woman.
Frankly,it might be difficult for them to find such a woman that wouldn't put a lot unnecessary "roadblocks" towards putting that "sexiness" to use... | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 8:10:20 AM | One Gentle Man; What a great answer! Would that all older men felt as you do! I posted this thread because I have had similar things said to me as Thecatsmeow mentioned in message #3. Older men who feel that they can't measure up to what I'd expect of a man.
I'm a lot older than most who are posting, so my experiences may not be the same as a woman in her 50's. When I say "older", I'm referring to men in my age category, or to any who fit the picture. I do fine with men in their 50's. (or sometimes younger) No problems there! I've never dated or been in a relationship with a man over 60. And that's kind of weird! I'm fine with it, but I do believe that the reasons I've stated could have contributed to that, from things that have been said to me. Of course I could be wrong.
Funky: On what do you base your answer? My observations are based on my experiences. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 8:13:01 AM |
To me, there is nothing better than a relationship with a woman my age. I like a partner to be fairly close to my age. I want them to have the ability to identify with like experiences from life experiences. If I mention Vietnam, Neil Armstrong or Watergate and my partner has only read about them, I'm not sharing the experiences with an equal, if you will. I don't want to give history lessons, or try to explain too much. Again, I want a partner with a shared time line.
Giggle. I'm reminded of a scene from "Peggy Sue Got Married," where Nicolas Cage's charachter, explaining why he ended an affair with a much younger woman;
"I got tired of interpreting for her. She thought the Big Bopper was a hamburger."
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 11:31:11 AM |
What does "sexy" mean to you?
If you look up the word sexy in the dictionary you will see my picture.
Before anyone gets their feathers ruffled, I am JOKING. Just could not resist.
Do older men sometimes feel that if an older woman is still sexy minded, that means he may not be able to keep up with her?
I asked my man the other day if it was too much pressure dealing with my high libido.
His response, "well we may just have to get in a shipment of viagra, but no." It was his way of acknowledging that physically it might be difficult, but that mentally he was right there with me, and whatever it takes, he is up for the challenge.
I have often felt that older men are slow to respond because they think they are not still sexy and desirable.
Well there is no excuse for this. I let my boyfriend know every day in every way that I find him sexy and desireable. If there was ever any issue with his confidence in the past it surely is not there now.
If an older woman appears to be sexy, why is it that mostly young men are attracted to her?
This is because younger men who solicit older women are doing so just for that purpose sex, and a sex woman to a younger man is a signal that she is interested in that.
Problem is, this older woman is not interested in sex with them. So they are reading the signals wrong. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 12:09:04 PM | Widows; My question is not referring to when one is in a relationship. It's not about having a different level of sexuality than your established partner, nor about having heightened or diminished libido. It was referring to men looking at a woman and assuming that she was too much for them to handle, sexually, just because they see her as sexy. 
But still, interesting input! Should always let your partner know you still find them to be desirable. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 12:29:03 PM |
My question... .... ... .... was referring to men looking at a woman and assuming that she was too much for them to handle, sexually, just because they see her as sexy.
Well, that's one of life's burning problems I don't have to worry about. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 12:54:07 PM | It amazes me when women 49 to 56 think they are "old". Heck there are some women in here in their seventies. Some look good and some "need ironing." But that is life. I can recall when we all thought 30 was old. lol  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 12:56:39 PM |
Well, that's one of life's burning problems I don't have to worry about.
Hi, Breath!! I think I could withstand the initial blast of womanly sexuality from Breath, and from almost all women, but it's that supersized doubly-serious member huge honkin' yellow spot that would intimidate the hell outta me.
OP, there have been two or three times when I was indeed overwhelmed by a woman's physical, extra-strength sexuality- I knew it, she knew it, the whole room knew it. All I could do was grin. I learned that trick when I was a little, little kid- Davy Crockett grinned a bear down once. And it has saved my ass, or at least gotten me off with a light spanking, more than once. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 1:05:45 PM | LOL!
that supersized doubly-serious member huge honkin' yellow spot that would intimidate the hell outta me.
But but but but.... *she sputters*... I didn't pay to get it!!
Points for creativity, at least. 
(and the profile does say it's a spoof, ya know!)
OT.. I remember well the younger days of being one heck of a sexy looking gal.. all very natural, not one speck of makeup or fakeup.
I remember the looks.. the craving in men's eyes.. etc.
I just bopped around enjoying it.. never even 'worried' about this intimidating stuff.
(leave it to the forums to bring it up, lol)
These days... I know I still have "it"... but I'll reserve it for a man I'm really into.
And nope, he won't be intimidated.. he'll enjoy it, I'm sure. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 1:33:19 PM | I need to correct my original answer.
There was a woman who got close as could be to intimidating me.
She was my wife. She was the smartest, sexiest, funniest woman I
ever knew. I was putty or whatever else she wanted me to be in her hands. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 4:57:16 PM | OK Just kidding
I am not one of the older guys but I think I have been around long enough to post on this topic.
I like sexy women of any age. That includes women who think they are sexy. I admire the confidence and the spring in their step.
I love a woman who exudes sensuality but if a woman is all about sex or her sexy appearance and not able to get into the intimacy of a touch, or holding hands and talking then I know I am going to loose interest quickly so I will pass on that sexy girl. | |
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*Don*
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Joined: 1/30/2009
Msg: 40 | |
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CTORME
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Joined: 4/11/2009
Msg: 41 | |
| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 5:22:11 PM | Well, as a somewhat sexy older woman, I would say "yeah" that does seem to be the case. Some men have told me that they would be afraid to ask me out even, for fear of rejection. Not so with the younger ones. Guys in their 20's are always (stupidly) hitting on me and telling me I'm sexy. This "cougar" stuff has gone too far. Really. I guess there are some out there, but women my age who are on here and say "long term" I assume like me that they mean it. No one is really looking for someone the same age as their children.
As far as sexual pressure, there is probably some truth to that, too. Older men often take high blood pressure medicine or even antidepressive medication that often can hurt their ability to perform sexually. I'm sure that would be embarrassing for them. Plus, drinking even a few drinks does seem to have a negative effect on them, too, that usually doesn't matter to younger men.
But what do I know? LOL | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 5:48:55 PM |
My question is not referring to when one is in a relationship.
Well you have to realize that four months ago I was in the dating pool, and I am pretty much the same now as I was then.
I received plenty of attention back then, and did not seem to intimidate men my age, since they had to problems initiating contact. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 6:07:33 PM | Based on my observations and experience older men are not interested in older women simply because they do not feel attracted to them.
This clearly is not true for all older women. There are plenty of very attractive older women that get plenty of attention. I am 54 . At one point I had as many as six pages of emails in my inbox, and had well over 100 people in my "favorites" which I ignored.
I was dating several men at once when I decided to become exclusive with my current boyfriend. They all wanted to maintain contact with me even though I was going to stop dating them.
I changed my profile to say NOT looking, and continued to get messages from men. It was not until I deleted my profile completely, may a dummy profile with false info where I lied about height, profession, education, etc and said I was from zip 00000 and the lived in the virgin islands that the emails stopped. I even had to take my facial shot off the profile.
Saying older men are not interested in older women is just plain rubbish. I do not believe I am unique in getting more attention here on POF than I could handle. I think there are many many women my age that are attractive and doing quite well. In fact I would say from my experience the women have done a better job of keeping themselves in good shape than the men. Women however in my opinion are a bit more forgiving in accepting the changes that go along with aging, and still can find a man who is balding with middle age spread attractive.
I think the changes that we face with age affect both men and women. I just think the women here cut the guys more slack than some of men give the women ( I am referring to the OP of the above quote, not ALL men. I have been on the forums long enough to know there are plenty of mature men who still appreciate a mature woman. We mature ladies do appreciate you.) There are several posts on the over 45 forums that addresses this very issue. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 5/31/2009 7:22:37 PM |
I need to correct my original answer.
There was a woman who got close as could be to intimidating me.
She was my wife. She was the smartest, sexiest, funniest woman I
ever knew. I was putty or whatever else she wanted me to be in her hands.
...Awww, hopefully you can find that again. Good luck
...maeflowers | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 6:23:50 AM |
I have often felt that older men are slow to respond because they think they are not still sexy and desirable.
This is a symptom more common among women than men.
In my experience women (of all ages) are more likely to focus on a single "flaw" in their appearance while men will focus on a single virtue, regardless of the total effect.
"Yeah I'm a poxy smoker with BO and a mullet-Wanna see my sixpack?" | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 1:22:08 PM | | In my experience the answer to this question is YES!! They immediately assume that I can date 35 year olds and they do not stand a chance. Of course this can weed out quickly somebody with issues or baggage, lacking self confidence, but I have been dismayed to see the prevalence of this attitude in men in their fifties. After all, most younger guys that want to be serious are still looking for a woman they can have children with, or their children are still fairly young. I am not interested in going out with anyone that still has to raise their children, because I am at the point in my life where I am free and unemcumbered, and its time for grownup fun! Eventually I will find a like minded man.... | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 2:02:30 PM | Sophya; I knew there must be other women out there who are experiencing this. Men in their 50's are "younger"men to me.
This attitude in men gets worse as they're in their 60's. It's almost as if they think they can't compete if they think it's possible for you to get a younger man. I believe this is one reason why so many older women eventually do change their opinion about being with younger men. Until I was in my 40's, I would never have dated a man even 2 years younger.
Again, this is not about "all" older men. Some are still self confident and will approach a woman of any age, if they are attracted to her. Which is as it should be. JMHO | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 2:42:33 PM |
It's almost as if they think they can't compete if they think it's possible for you to get a younger man.
I have to wonder if there is an element of "projection" in this. Are these the same men who have a history of trading "up" to younger models throughout their relationship history, and now they figure everyone else thinks like they did?
To me, there are actually two elements of the original question, as well as some extenuating factors. First, it depends on what you think of as "sexy." I'm not talking about anyone in particular, but there are ladies who are out of shape, lewd, loud and over-willing to expose too much unfirm flesh in public who are absolutely convinced they are "sexy." They honestly believe every man in the world, if given the chance, would be eager to get into bed with them. However sexually preoccupied or sex-driven such ladies might be, I invariably do not find them "sexy."
As far as being "intimidated," by any woman, I am rarely intimidated by the woman herself. Rather, I am, like so many people, intimidated by the pain of rejection. Again, there is more than one element to this. I have had reinforced to me many, many times over the years, what I do not have to offer in comparison to the "average" guy. It has been equally reinforced to me, as many times, how poorly I would fare in "competition" against any random group of other men in most areas. So, if by "sexy" one means a lady who is seen as physically attractive by a majority of men, it's not that she intimidates me, but I just rarely see the point to approaching her only to discover that she is, like so many, looking for the "tall, confident, good-looking, financially secure guy who knows what he wants!" Most days I don't need it reiterated to me what I am not. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 3:24:35 PM | Some are still self confident and will approach a woman of any age, if they are attracted to her. Which is as it should be.
I am reminded of the "Speak for yourself, John." admonishment from early Puritan days in North America. Also, nothing ventured, nothing gained; no guts, no glory and some other sayings come to mind.
When I was 15 years old and starting to date I was at first shy and intimidated by asking the prettiest girls in high school on a date. What I did was practice asking out and dating a few attractive girls I knew well and in whose company I was already relaxed and comfortable. This helped me a great deal since practice makes perfect, or perfect enough. Over time I developed more confidence and after a year or so had no problems dating several of our cheerleaders, homecoming queens from four different high schools and other pretty and sought after girls.
Some men may have never gotten over their shyness. What they need to do is practice, get used to being accepted sometimes and turned down others and not taking it personally. Many men can use help with their wardrobes and even coaching on how to carry on a light social conversation, how to be funny and make women laugh and how to approach women to get them to want to date them.
If an older sexy woman sees a man she would like to meet, just go over and chat with him in a relaxed manner. Some of these guys do not know how to flirt but they are great guys. Good luck! | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 4:12:58 PM | | I love older women, they appreciate, and deserve the attention Ican give them. They don't necessarily want a young stud that only wants sex. I date older women and have not ever met one that I didn't like. | |
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