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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/1/2009 8:17:42 PM | Some, perhaps. Speaking for myself, none of the above. To me it's a matter of how much effort versus how much benefit. And before you start throwing the e-slaps, we all think this way, regardless of age or gender.
The benefit of age is that I can see a probable outcome before going through the whole learning experience again.
I personally do not think of myself as sexy or desireable, nor have I ever needed to think of myself in such terms. I think of myself as intelligent, motivated, confident, mature, experienced, yet still a risk taker and someone who marvels in small details of nature.
If I find someone of the opposite gender who thinks of herself along similar lines, there's a high probability that we will be attracted to each other.
On the other hand, I usually find females who characterize themself as "sexy", well, not.
But I've long believed that the sexiest part of anybody (regardless of gender) is their mind.
I realize that I am in the minority and really don't care. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:19:19 AM | You are so right about the mind being the sexiest part of the body. As a matter of fact, the seat of our sexual impulses are located in the brain.
As far as women seeing themselves as sexy, that is probably due to self confidence, how people react to them, and what they have been told. By the time a woman reaches our age, she knows whether or not men find her to be sexy, attractive, beautiful, etc. Feeling sexy has a lot to do with self confidence. If you are not attracted to self confident women, then you are probably attracted to meek women with low self esteem.
Plenty of those out there! No e-slaps being thrown here! I don't even know what they are. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:52:59 AM | | I like men my age...okay there was one that I didn't like. I like most men my age. Younger men have nothing when compared to the men my age. I don't think the one's that I have liked are lacking self confidence nor have a problem with sexy women. Don't know how sexy I am but one of those partners made me feel like I had the world in a hand basket whenever we were together. I have meant men of all ages that are lacking in self esteem and in desire. But for myself those aren't the ones that I am attracted to. The ones that I am attracted to are self confident, sexy, charming men. I think that we seek our own level. I hate it whenever this becomes about gender or a battle of the sexes. We draw people to us that are like us. Maybe that is why I haven't been smitten for awhile because I haven't meant that sexy, confident, attractive man in awhile. And I would prefer to wait for someone my age.......they are usually aged to perfection.......... | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:45:38 AM | Steely Dan said it best in the song Hey Nineteen; “We can’t dance together, now we got nothing in common”
Great topic, I seem to have similar experiences, men my age do not seem the slightest bit interested in me. I get hit on by 27 year olds. Sounds nice on paper but, yes they are just interested in sex. Why on earth would they want a long term relationship with someone my age (47)? I don’t want one with them. We have zip in common except that I have children that age, LOL. I’m recently single after 15 years, so at first it was sooo flattering, what an ego stroke. Now I think there must be some club to see who can bang the oldest woman? I’ll take a pass, not going to fulfill some kids’ Oedipus complex fantasies. While I’m not looking for an LTR at the moment, I will want that again one day, with someone who knows what an Oedipus complex is and who remembers Steely Dan, and not because their MOM like that band.
2 if By Sea | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 12:10:39 PM |
I do not find that the younger men that have wanted to date me wanted children at all. Some were divorced and had their children part of the time while others never married and had none.
What I found very common was that they had very little responsibilities besides their jobs and being part time parents.. They certainly did not want want a woman to have children with!! You see I asked them why in heavens name would they be interested in dating someone like me that is so much older than they are. These were people I met not on the internet but in real life. One of them lives in my condo building and have been friends with him for about 5 years now..
I then expressed my concerns for him and that he should find someone around his own age. That they will be able to share more time together and he might well have to become my caregiver soon than later. Still this seemed to matter little to him????
On the flip side I do wonder about older men that want to date much younger woman. Not only will they feel a disconnect emotionally speaking but how do they intend on keeping up with her in the years to come.
Or could it be that this thought never crossing their minds?
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 1:40:55 PM | Maybe, just maybe, as we mature, and have all that experience, that it is not intimidation that rules, but the desire to want to have equality, and the knowledge of knowing that there is nothing needed to prove anymore, so we do not act as aggressively as many of our younger counterparts just might?
I so enjoy an assertive sexy woman, and the age is much less a factor, as is the total package and how it is put together mentally, physically, and emotionally, and I will go out of my way to make sure that this assertiveness is considered my equal, enjoying an equal.
There is no need to add notches to my bedpost any more, or keep count in any fashion, and I have no desire to puff my chest up and exclaim my manhood to others for all the women I have had.
I seek equality, compassion, consideration, and sensuality in such a way that it leaves little doubt that the both of us are mature, sexy, and able to prove it.
Just my opinion......   | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 3:45:04 PM | c deacon; I get what you're saying. Very well said.
Would be nice to hear from others over the age of 60, like me. I wasn't even aware that men in their 40's and 50's fit the situation I mentioned. For me, they are the "younger men" I speak of. I think those over 60 can better relate to what this thread is about.
In any case, it's not that I'm holding my breath looking for a man in my age category.
I'm happy with the men I've dated and been in relationships with. Age is just a number. The fact that they were ,and are, usually much younger than me is no big deal.
Contrary to what most think, it's not always all about sex when it's an older woman and younger man, especially when you're my age and the younger men are in their late 40's and 50's. Not exactly robbing the cradle. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 4:14:24 PM | in response to ^^^^
I'm 62. I do find it surprising that so many women are dating younger men. The stereotype is just the opposite. However, I do have several female friends (strictly friends) that I know I would not have a chance with, because they have so many younger guys after them.
One in particular...we did date for about a year back around 1996. Since then, we have moved to just a friendship...M/C rides, NASCAR races, etc. She is now 53, and in my opinion not out of my age range. But these last ten years or so, she has been dating guys from 5 to 15 years younger than she is. All she does is complain about how immature they are, and all they want is to "get some experience from an older woman", but still, she continues to date them. When she counts on them for something, they never come through...for example...
She and I went to a NASCAR race this weekend ...she had the tickets, invited me because, according to her, she wanted to go on the motorcycles, and none of her younger guys would ride that far, under the traffic conditions. So...I guess I got a date by default?
She is definitely a sexy woman...not older, compared to me, but yes, somewhat intimidating because...even though we have known each other for over a decade, and did date in the past, the fact that she attracts all the younger guys, and they are chasing after her, makes me feel like all I can ever be to her now is someone she can count on when the young guys don't come through. The fact that she spent most of the day that we were together at the race texting to her young guys confirms that to me. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 5:37:31 PM | I guess I'm not in the age range you were interested in getting replies from, but I'm gonna add my 2 cents anyway.
~~~
IMHO, your subliminal question is, "Why aren't men my age approaching me?"
Older men were once younger men, doing the things younger men do.
Now we're older men and have learned from our younger days.
So, if a woman's attitude is:
I have often felt that older men are slow to respond because they think they are not still sexy and desirable. To me, that denotes a lack of self confidence.
I gotta say, that sounds a bit judgemental and arrogant. Guess what? We (older men) may just be able to percieve that attitude and choose not to jump through the hoops anymore. Therefore, we don't approach.
If someone puts me in a box. It's their box, not mine. I don't argue with perceptions I don't percieve.
If an older woman appears to be sexy, why is it that mostly young men are attracted to her?
Because the younger guys don't have the experience we do and are still willing to jump through the hoops.
So, while some men are no doubt intimidated, there is a plethora of other reasons they may not be approaching sexy older women.
I don't mean to be caustic. I'm just offering an opinion I have experienced and didn't see mentioned here.
To me a sexy older woman is a woman that: retains a modicum of physical and mental fitness; dresses age appropriate; doesn't prejudge men or have a chip on her shoulder toward them; realizes that "confidence" can often be subject to life's circumstances; that is self responsible for her life choices; is approachable; is compassionate to others difficulties; realizes life is bigger than her or me.
just a few thoughts | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 7:23:22 PM | How is asking a question based on my own experiences, being arrogant or judgemental? And what do you consider to be "age appropriate dressing"?
BTW, I didn't mean this thread to sound like I am whining about older men not approaching me. You seem to be prejudging me for asking the question. It's just something I've noticed as I've gotten older. When you get there, maybe you'll understand the question.
Of course there could be many other reasons!
I didn't look at your age, but you said you're not of the age I was referring to. While your comments are appreciated, you seem to be angry. If I've said something that offended you, it wasn't intentional. You said "while some men are no doubt intimidated". That's all I'm saying. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/2/2009 8:05:22 PM | No, I'm not angry. If I were you would know it because I would clearly state, " I'm P-Oed at what you said." I'm a really great communicator that way.
You've eliminated my opinion as having any validity by stating "When you get there, maybe you'll understand the question. "
Therefore, I will not address your concerns/questions.
Basically, that's what I was saying earlier: You've put me in a box. If one puts another in a box, they will avoid you.
Therefore, some women are not intimidating by being too" sexy", but rather their underlying attitude shines through more that they give mature men credit for percieving.
People (mature men too) pick up on that kind of thing, believe it or not.
Get it?
just a thought of best wishes | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:04:06 AM | OP, I doubt if the older men are afraid that they won't be able to keep up with you. They are probably more than willing to die trying! LOL
Sexy is in the eye of the beholder. What one man considers sexy could be moot to another man.
I prefer the word sensuous to sexy especially when describing older women, such as myself and female friends.
Personally, I prefer older men. *Reason listed above.
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:40:26 AM | Sensuous is more about feelings. Sexy is about attitude. I prefer men who are compatible with me, regardless of age, as long as they're over 45. Again, I can't discount words that have been spoken to me or implied by "some" older men, which is what prompted this thread. Some here got it. Some didn't.
I realize that we all have different life experiences. I can only speak from mine. I'm enjoying the responses here! The different interpretations are interesting. Now, I'm out of here for awhile so as not to be accused of trying to keep this thread at the top. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:54:34 AM | | Many reasons prevent a man from approaching a particular woman. He may be shy and rarely able to approach women. He may be intimidated by a particular woman as suggested by the OP. Some men of all ages are intimidated by some women. He may not be in the mood to approach women at the moment. He may feel he will be rejected by her so why bother (very common). Suffering rejection is tough even for seasoned dating veterans. She may not appeal to him, or appeal to him enough to make the effort and risk rejection. This last situation is probably the answer in most cases if the parties involved are at a social function, meet/meat market or other such venue. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:02:39 AM | | All the older guys I know seem to believe that they can keep up with the younger babes who are their children's age...and also these men believe that us older girls aren't active. for me I am extremely active....sorry, folks but most of the time it's in THEIR heads(these older men) and these older guys really can't keep up with the younger or the older women. When I was still in my early 30s and I dated guys close to my age, some of the guys I dated back then had a hard time keeping up with me and my schedule and activity level....so everyone is different..Everything is a FACADE and people are LIARS to accommodate their Puffy PEACOCK status........think of a PEACOCK flapping his feathers who thinks he is superior....that's most men especially the older ones who still think, they've got it sexually!! YEAH RIGHT!! LOL | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:18:18 AM | | Men of all ages may be intimidated by older sexy women BUT they don't hesitate wantiing to proposition them and have sex with them...just for the experience...just to jump their bones and say they made it with an older woman (especially the young bucks trying to get notches on their belt). Most men in general are intimidated by strong, independent women...who in most situations are older and sexy...these women are SELF CONFIDENT and maybe the men don't have any confidence!! | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:40:31 AM |
Most men in general are intimidated by strong, independent women...
Anyone (male or female) who is strong and independent will gain other's respect -- not intimidation.
The term strong and independent is often misused for those that are bossy and bitter. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:32:23 AM | The only woman I'm intimated by are those with wipes chains and strange looking pieces of apparatus hanging over their beds
Oh and janet4ever sexy redheads are also very intimidating in the best of ways. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:53:27 AM | UNFORTUNATLY, ALOT OF MEN MY AGE, 67 ARE NOT ABLE TO HAVE SEX, THEY WANT TO AND ARE VERY FRUSTRATED .
IT'S VERY COMMON FOR THEM TO GO AFTER THE YOUNGER WOMAN TO BUILD UP THEIR EGO.
EVEN IF THEY CAN'T FREFORM IT MAKES THEM FILL THAT THEY ARE STILL A MAN AND STILL HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:20:51 PM | As a "going to be middle-aged man" man myself I can't see how any older man woul;d be "intimidated" by an older woman,sexually.
At least w/ MOST (but not ALL) older women whether or not you are going to hit it...isn't some convoluted "game."
If she's digging you...you are in...
If not...then you can move on..or stay..if not having sex is your "thing."
Silly question,OP | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:50:38 PM | Everyone, so far, has ignored the part in my first comment that says "the ability to enjoy making love no matter what your limitations may be".
In other words, there is so much more to lovemaking besides a hard, younger body.
Sometimes men lose their "ability". Women don't, unless because of some physical condition. The fact that women can be sexy at any age and follow through physically can be intimidating to some men. At least a couple of posters touched on that.
Some men are willing to step aside and leave it to the younger men, thinking that we need what they can no longer give. My original point was to get across that just because an older woman is perceived by, whomever, to be sexy does not mean she can only be happy with younger men. But, when older men leave that as our only option,
so be it. No problem there for me.
Rather than reassuring older men that what they have can be enough, this thread has turned into:
1. Older men wanting younger women.
2. Older women are no longer attractive to older men.
3. Strong independent women are bossy and bitter. (I have no idea how that ties in with the subject)
4. There are many reasons why some men are not attracted to some women.(I think we all already know that)
5. This is a silly question. ( As said by a 43 year old!)
Not the original intent, but still interesting reading.
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