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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:58:13 AM |
Maybe they are intimidated by sexy younger women.
I'm not so sure about this. When I was in Cabo a couple of weeks ago there were a lot of men my age that must have been travelling with their daughters. haha | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:06:47 AM |
Look at the profiles! The majority of women who specify an age range for men they might be willing to hear from, generally go from ten to fifteen years younger, to only a couple of years older. I have looked at many profiles of very attractive women my age (62) only to be stopped short by the "45 - 60" age specs. And to quote one..."I don't want a grandpa!"
HDspringer09, perhaps you would like me find it illuminating to see a table that listed the minimum and maximum age specification averages across all profiles. Segregated by gender and age. For example:
Age = age of person in profile
Min = minimum age for a match
Max = maximum age for a match
Females
Age Min Max
25 22.6 35.3
26 25.1 36.6
...
Males
Age Min Max
25 19.6 31.3
26 20.1 31.6
...
No doubt some admin could come up with such a report and we would not have t0 speculate. But what would be the fun in that?  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:24:59 PM | edit:
totally not worth the effort
But ON TOPIC... I can see where *some* men may just not want to 'deal with' someone they *may* see as high maintenance?
Let's remember, though, that "sexy" has a different definition to each person. ~smile~ | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:54:58 PM | I'm flattered by the attention I get from younger men, but not interested. I find I have far more in common with men in my age group and that's pretty important to me.
I think that secure older men, (men my age), are not intimidated by older women. On the other hand, insecure men of any age, are intimidated by confident, well adjusted women of any age.
Insecure or intimidated individuals often manifest their feelings by striking out and attempting to belittle others. It's sad to see. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:33:02 PM | | I could never understand why it is younger think they have the vitality to attract an "older woman. " I find that maurity years of experience, a mature sense of humor and the way a woamn carries herself is sexy. An older woman, doesn't have to pretend she can and usually does speak her mind. If an older man can't deal with that, he simply has issues that he needs to resolve. Problem resolution does not desciminate--It can and does happen to both young and old. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:48:56 PM | If I had to grip about profile settings...It's not that I don't find women my age sexy at all...It's the travel thing...If I've read it once, I've read it at least twenty times..."I love to travel." give me a woman my age that simply enjoys the surroundings in her own backyard...sort of speaking. Yes, I adore a woman who takes good care of herself. I have seen late forty to early ffity year old woman who would put twenty something's to shame.
There are older men who see these women, then see who their "Fans" are and think they can't compete. I beg to differ. I am 52 in average shape and would make a younger man feel inferior compared to what I can offer an older Sexy woman--Namely, conversation real maturity, affection and true appreciation....Not having to try harder to impress her than an older man would.  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:01:05 PM | Proving my point...Thank You. Older women want the companionship of a man their age. Older women who may be attracted to a younger man will soon tire of them because they has no real substance. An older gentleman understands what an older woman is going through...Or should. What I am hearing in most cases is that men period, are being insensitve to the needs of women. You are right about men striking out with verbal attacks bec,ause they feel subpar to women.
Find me aman that does that and I'll point out a man who has control issues.--Ask his ex-wife.  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:15:05 PM | Uh Ohhh...No you didn't... LOL I am thank ful for good health and a damn good sex drive...The only problem I run into with women my age is...Ethnicity--"How would I explain this to my adult children or my friends or co-workers? Women ask for intelligence, sense of humor, affection, and a host of other qualities that I have--But they neglect to mention...Not a man of color. I can be a friend...An E-Talk partner but not a serious relationship partner. Hmmmm...What's up with that...I wonder?  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:25:46 PM | | Now I just looked at your profile, and see that you are indeed a very attractive woman who would blow a younger woman out of the water. You have a wonderful sense of worth a sense of humor and know what you are looking for in a man and stating it with as much simplicity as possible. Would a younger man be able to fit that bill...I think not. Would an older man understand exactly what you were saying and be able to know what, taking things slow meant...Yea. But at our age we already know what we are looking for and when an older man finds or sees that woman, he will generally either ease into it or go for what he wants. Women have to understand tha if they stiffle an older man, he just may move on. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:06:08 AM | Marty; I don't know who you're speaking about because I don't have a picture up, but in any case, it's very nice to see comments from a 52 year old man who is well adjusted, secure, comfortable in his own skin and very self confident. As are most of the men I've met in your age category. I see any number of pictures on here of attractive 50 something women.
No problem understanding what you're saying! Ethnicity can be a deal breaker for some. Being a woman of color who usually dates across racial lines, I'm well aware of that. But it hasn't been a problem for me. It's not everyone's thing, so most of my dates, relationships are usually with men I meet in the real world who can see me face to face even before approaching me. On dating sites, I never contact men first, so they already know my ethnicity before contacting me.
As for traveling, I look for men who are already living in my area.
Anyway, great comments! | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:57:39 AM |
I'm flattered by the attention I get from younger men, but not interested. I find I have far more in common with men in my age group and that's pretty important to me.
I think that secure older men, (men my age), are not intimidated by older women. On the other hand, insecure men of any age, are intimidated by confident, well adjusted women of any age.
Lisee55 you hit the nail right on the head here. I can't count the number of younger men that contacted me before I met my current boyfriend. I always responded to them thank you for the attention, but I am not interested. I would have trouble carrying on a conversation with someone from a generation. I prefer being with someone who experienced the same era in history.
I also agree that a secure older man is not going to be intimidated by a sexy older woman. In fact they will be drawn to her confidence, her intelligence, her attitude.
I have both an MD and a PhD degree. A man who is secure in himself is not going to give two hoots about my education. He will approach me if he is attracted to me regardless of our educatonal differences. This level of self confidence is very very attractive to me. Likewise, a secure older man (ie. my age) will not be intimidated by me regardless of how sexy I am. I would much rather have the attention of a confident mature man, than the attention of a confident younger one.
And if the intimidation fact revolves around an ED issue, which can affect as many as 50% of the men in my generation, I am even more impressed by a man who is willing to be honest about his issues. Men who will approach a sexy older woman, (who is sexy because , duh, she is a sexual being and enjoys her sexuality because of/in spite of her age) even if they have performance issues, obviously feel the risk of rejection is worth taking because of the benefit of the reward (the attention of a sexy older woman). I find their confidence ( self esteem) is grounded in what they have to offer outside of the bedroom, and this impresses me. Considering that statistically speaking the act of intercourse (by published studies) lasts between 3 minutes and 12 minutes, I am far more concerned with how that man is going to occupy my time for the remaining 23 hours and 48 minutes of the day. (and yes, I am one of those sexy older women) | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:01:21 AM |
statistically speaking the act of intercourse (by published studies) lasts between 3 minutes and 12 minutes Seriously, I've never experienced anything remotely like this in my life, except once. He kept insisting no one else ever complained.....maybe I should have believed him, but I genuinely thought he suffered from premature ejaculation. These statistics can't be true... | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:30:57 AM | Widow; As you stated in your last paragraph, it's not ALL about the act of intercourse.
Unfortunately, some older men seem to think they're out of the running if they have performance issues . Not all older men. This thread was meant to offer some reassurance that they have other qualities that can be attractive to women their age. Even the act of making love is not all about intercourse. Some men know that, some don't.
A secure man or woman will not be intimidated by anyone, as has been stated by several here. One of the sexiest traits about a man, to me, is self confidence.
Very interesting comments! | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:15:44 AM |
Seriously, I've never experienced anything remotely like this in my life, except once. He kept insisting no one else ever complained.....maybe I should have believed him, but I genuinely thought he suffered from premature ejaculation. These statistics can't be true...
These statistics ARE true. The responses were provided by physicians, therapists and researchers who do RESEARCH and accumulate statistics on these very subjects. These are results from NORMAL people, not people with premature ejaculation.
Heterosexual Intercourse Should Last 3-13 Minutes, Sex Therapists' Survey Shows
By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Health News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD
April 3, 2008 -- A new survey aims to set the record straight about how long heterosexual intercourse should last.
The verdict: 3 to 13 minutes, with 3-7 minutes deemed "acceptable" and 7 to 13 minutes dubbed "desirable."
Thirty-four sex therapists in the U.S. and Canada completed the survey. They had 26 years of clinical experience, on average; 45% of them were men.
One skipped the timing question, 25 mentioned specific amounts of time, and eight said time for intercourse depends on the couple.
"Many sex therapists consider coitus that lasts as little as 3 minutes to be of adequate length," write the researchers, who included Eric Corty, PhD, of Penn State Erie.
The survey may correct the public's "unrealistic" expectations for sexual performance to last longer, note Corty and colleagues in May's edition of The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
A new study published Wednesday in The Journal of Sexual Medicine asked qualified Canadian and U.S. sex therapists what they thought was the ideal duration for intercourse. Researchers calculated the medians for several variables.
Too short: 1.25 minutes
Adequate: 4.91 minutes
Desirable: 8 minutes
Too long: 19.96 minutes
The best sex, according to new research published Wednesday in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, lasts a whopping seven to 13 minutes, plus a little foreplay.
The study, based on a survey of 33 qualified Canadian and U.S. sex therapists, found that one to two minutes of intercourse for a heterosexual couple is “too short,” three to seven minutes is “adequate” and 30 minutes is “too long.”
Between seven and 13 minutes of intercourse is “desirable,” the experts said.
Good sexual intercourse lasts minutes, not hours
By BJS
Created 03/31/2008 - 12:30
Satisfactory sexual intercourse for couples lasts from 3 to 13 minutes, contrary to popular fantasy about the need for hours of sexual activity, according to a survey of U.S. and Canadian sex therapists.
Penn State Erie researchers Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani conducted a survey of 50 full members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research, which include psychologists, physicians, social workers, marriage/family therapists and nurses who have collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades.
Thirty-four, or 68 percent, of the group responded and rated a range of time amounts for sexual intercourse, from penetration of the vagina by the penis until ejaculation, that they considered adequate, desirable, too short and too long.
The average therapists’ responses defined the ranges of intercourse activity times: "adequate," from 3-7 minutes; "desirable," from 7-13 minutes; "too short" from 1-2 minutes; and "too long" from 10-30 minutes.
"A man’s or woman’s interpretation of his or her sexual functioning as well as the partner’s relies on personal beliefs developed in part from society’s messages, formal and informal," the researchers said. “"Unfortunately, today’s popular culture has reinforced stereotypes about sexual activity. Many men and women seem to believe the fantasy model of large penises, rock-hard erections and all-night-long intercourse. "
Past research has found that a large percentage of men and women, who responded, wanted sex to last 30 minutes or longer.
"This seems a situation ripe for disappointment and dissatisfaction," said lead author Eric Corty, associate professor of psychology. "With this survey, we hope to dispel such fantasies and encourage men and women with realistic data about acceptable sexual intercourse, thus preventing sexual disappointments and dysfunctions."
Corty and Guardiani, then-undergraduate student and now a University graduate, are publishing their findings in the May issue of the Journal of Sexual Medicine, but the article is currently available online.
The survey’s research also has implications for treatment of people with existing sexual problems.
"If a patient is concerned about how long intercourse should last, these data can help shift the patient away from a concern about physical disorders and to be initially treated with counseling, instead of medicine," Corty noted
Couples who desire longer time frames for actual intercourse are usually doing so by switching positions, from one position to another every few minutes or so when the man feels ejaculation pending and by doing so resets the clock and starts over, but is switching things up fast enough that he does not lose his erection.
Honestly, for many women periods of intercourse beyond 15 minutes what studies show they are thinking is, "how much longer, or when are you going to cum, or get done already"
I personally love sex. I enjoy every minute spent in lovemaking. However, I don't want that time to be hours and hours of pumping away in one postion until he ejaculates. I prefer switching things up and inserting kissing, oral and touch in between periods of intercourse. I would much rather couple five times with 6 minutes of thrusting and episodes of kissing, oral stimulation and touch inserted in between, than have one thirty minute episode of thrusting. That is my personal preference.
Reports back in the fifties said the average reported duration of intercourse for over 75% of men was three minutes. Reports have shown that in the past few decades this reported duration has increased. Men who are reporting intercourse lasting hours clearly are more than two standard deviations from the mean at the high end of the bell shaped curve.
A normal man does not have a chance when he "thinks" that it is normal to last thirty minutes or longer. This is not normal, this is abnormal. This is not to say that men who last this long don't enjoy intercourse, of course they do, assuming they find a woman who enjoys intercourse that lasts this long. The reality is for the majority of women , intercourse of this duration is TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING.
We are setting a man up to think that lasting this long is normal. It is not. This is medically called delayed ejaculation. If a man and his partner don't mind how long it takes him to ejaculate, then it really doesn't matter. For example, Ian Kerner, PhD, a sex therapist and author of She Comes First, advises men to bring their partners to the brink of orgasm before having intercourse. Then, if he's prone to premature ejaculation, it doesn't matter since both of them come away satisfied.
Conversely, if a man takes longer than average to ejaculate, but both partners enjoy marathon sex sessions, then delayed ejaculation can be a real plus.
However, some men do mind how long it takes them to ejaculate. They mind a lot -- and so do their partners.
Most men ejaculate within 2 to 4 minutes after onset of active thrusting in intercourse. Men with delayed ejaculation may be entirely unable to ejaculate in some circumstances (for example, during intercourse), or may only be able to ejaculate with great effort and after prolonged intercourse (for example 30 to 45 minutes).
Now if medical science (physicians) define delayed ejaculation as only able to ejaculate after thirty to forty five minutes of thrusting, this is NOT the norm, this is
ABNORMAL. If this is desired by a man and his partner, and is ok with them, then so be it, but PLEASE do not assume that the majority of men in society are substandard if they do not sustain an erection and thrust this long. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:24:29 AM |
These statistics ARE true. The responses were provided by physicians, therapists and researchers who do RESEARCH and accumulate statistics on these very subjects. These are results from NORMAL people, not people with premature ejaculation. Well then, I've never been with a normal man, lucky me.  | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:42:26 AM |
I have both an MD and a PhD degree. A man who is secure in himself is not going to give two hoots about my education. He will approach me if he is attracted to me regardless of our educatonal differences. Widow, all due respect, I have to disagree with you. I consider myself actually pretty "secure" in myself. And frankly, it's not about your education, but about the lifestyle choices you have made that are represented by those degrees that tell me we wouldn't have much in common. You and the people you are likely to know, who are as likely to be degreed, probably have much different lifestyles than I have. And probably much different views of the world. It's not so much your education, as an ingrained recognition of CLASS distinction.
Can you say that if your great guy you've met (congratulations, incidentally) were a high school dropout who was happy working on the production line at an aircraft assembly plant for $16 an hour, you'd be okay with that? You wouldn't be on him to "do something" with his life? You'd be okay with his coming to pick you up in his 8-year-old Subaru Forrester? What would you really think of the fact he owns one good suit, for weddings and funerals? Do you actually believe the guy who lives that way, and is happy like that, doesn't realize the gulf between his life and your life? He's not "intimidated" by you, but probably believes there is little to no chance you would accept him as he is and not try to change him and his life. And can you honestly look at this and say you wouldn't? | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:09:11 AM |
Widow, all due respect, I have to disagree with you. I consider myself actually pretty "secure" in myself. And frankly, it's not about your education, but about the lifestyle choices you have made that are represented by those degrees that tell me we wouldn't have much in common. You and the people you are likely to know, who are as likely to be degreed, probably have much different lifestyles than I have. And probably much different views of the world. It's not so much your education, as an ingrained recognition of CLASS distinction.
You would than have missed out on a very good thing. I am a normal woman with the same interests as other normal women. I do not have a different lifestyle that others, and do not jude others based on class distinction. I have taught Sunday School. I am a girl scout leader. I am a cheerleader mom. I routinely volunteered in my children's schools. I have volunteered one day a week to be a leader each year at a primitive day camp.
Can you say that if your great guy you've met (congratulations, incidentally) were a high school dropout who was happy working on the production line at an aircraft assembly plant for $16 an hour, you'd be okay with that? You wouldn't be on him to "do something" with his life? You'd be okay with his coming to pick you up in his 8-year-old Subaru Forrester?
For your information, my husband was a highly intelligent man who just had a few college credits to his name. When I met him he was on medicaid after a long illness and receiving medicare social security disability. He was charming and had wit and was well versed on current affairs and could easily maintain my attention in conversation.
My current love interest, has an associates degree and does industrail maintenance on air conditioning and heating units. He too is quite intelligent. We share the same politics, family values and goals. He is attracted to my intelligence, and like my husband has not trouble maintaining my interest.
What would you really think of the fact he owns one good suit, for weddings and funerals?
I have never seen my lover in a suit. I have not asked him if he owns one.
Do you actually believe the guy who lives that way, and is happy like that, doesn't realize the gulf between his life and your life? He's not "intimidated" by you, but probably believes there is little to no chance you would accept him as he is and not try to change him and his life. And can you honestly look at this and say you wouldn't?
I can honestly say that you the only person here who is judgemenal about class distinction is you. I have never made an effort to change my boyfriend. I have no interest in changing him. The man that he is is the one that is incredibly attractive to me.
Stereotyping is a dangerous thing. You have zero sense who I am. I walked away from my professional career and took care of my husband for a decade after he was diagnosed with cancer. I lived life as a highly educated wife, mother and caretaker.
I kept my medical license current because I provided his primary care.
My education defines a few things about me, I am highly intelligent, I can be goal driven, I have been a high achiever in the past. Today however I am defined by my faith in God, my love for my children, my loyalty and faithfulness to my friends, my sense of humor and wit, my sensuality, and my not having a superiority complex. | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:34:10 AM | Marty; My apologies! I responded to your post when I was rushing to do something else, so misinterpreted your remark about travel. I just glanced over it and took it to mean traveling to meet someone. So I will adress it now. I would assume that most people like to travel for fun. I know I do. However, if a man doesn't like to, then I would do it with friends or family. Because two people are in a relationship, I wouldn't consider the fact that one likes to travel and the other doesn't as a deal breaker. But that's just me. Maybe a compromise could be reached. JMHO | |
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| Are older men sometimes intimidated by older sexy women?
Posted: 6/6/2009 12:45:22 PM | Yes, I know that is true, Lazzer. Maybe not a need but a want. And with some, neither.
So many different attitudes about sex. I think it's a gift and we are remiss not to continue enjoying as long as possible. Besides being fun, it's good for your health.I'm just a bit amazed to learn from this thread, that so many in their 50's are experiencing the same as those who are older!
BTW, to anyone who noticed. I am aware that I left a "d" out of address. A typo. | |
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