| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:59:20 PM |
I got stuck paying for a $30+ lunch not knowing he wasnt going to be able to pay for it. (we're both over 30, and have jobs, he makes more than me)
I didnt see the server come back with the response when they ran his card, but do you think this was just a way to get out of paying? I doubt it though beacuse every time I see him out, he is always drinking water. I like water too but its almost like he has no ability to do anything with his visa card. He doesnt carry cash. I feel like he should have said something beforehand that he couldn't pay.
Next time I talk with this guy I"m going to say that we can't go anywhere that you arent at least prepared for some of the time, because I can't be stuck with the bill every time. This happened only once, but I can't be having it happen as a regular habit. I understand that we are all on budgets and maybe we can work something out where we do things that aren't so expensive maybe.
Ideas?
I think you're right for being upset. Mainly because he had to have known he wasn't going to be able to pay before he got there and said nothing to you about the fact.
If I am reading you right, your issue wasn't with him not being "able" to pay as much as it is he HID the fact that wasn't able to pay from you. That's almost the same as lying.
He should have "man'ed" up and told you from the start that he was tight on money. I am sure you would have either suggested you'd take care of it or you would have suggested doing something else, no?
I was in a similar situation very recently. Met a wonderful woman, asker her to coffee but felt so comfortable with her that I upgraded the coffee to a dinner date (first meeting). I was in a rush to get there and for the first time in my life - well my adult life - I ran out of my place and actually left my wallet laying on the counter! I didn't realize it till I got there about was about to walk through the door. She was already waiting. I have never felt so humilated in my all my life, so totally embarassed. I appologized and told her straight up... I told her to relax, go ahead and order and that I'd be right back. After speeding home to get my wallet I retuned and we ended up having an exception night of great conversation and fun. I thought for sure I'd had blown it. But, she was down to earth and reasonable enough that she took it in stride and we laughed it off.
My point is I was honest with her and told her of my mistake right when I realized it - I didn't wait till the check came to pull a fast one her. I'd rather have washed dishes than to have put her in that position, it wasn't fair to her and it sure as hell wasn't fair to you for this guy to have held back somethign he KNEW from the very start of the lunch date.
Honesty goes a long long way... Yet people still treat it like a disease and avoid it. Amazes me... really amazes me. | |
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| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/16/2009 11:06:42 PM | | ^^^ I don't think the OP is upset about having to pay (unless I misread). I think she's more upset about the fact he kept that he was unable to pay from her - instead of just being upfont about it. | |
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| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:38:05 AM | To the op:
If a guy can't manage his finances chances are he won't be any good at handling most other situations either.
People should always carry a credit card, debit card and cash. Seriously the bloke should have learnt that by now. | |
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| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:50:08 AM | Even if this ever happened to me, I would go right then and there to a bank and pay the person back.
Yes, I understand that sh*t happens. It's when the sh*t happens all the time that there's a problem.
I went on a date once and the guy I was with only had a bit of cash on him, so he contributed some to the dinner bill (cheap vietnamese). I wasn't concerned about that. We had to quickly get to a movie, and unfortunately he didn't have cash on him. Again, in this day and age, some people do not carry cash all the time, it's not a biggie for me, so I paid for the movie. He seemed pretty embarassed about it, and it honestly didn't bother me at all.
He did stop contacting me after that though, so I'm not sure what happened. BUT, here's the important part people: I do not think of him as a cheap guy because of one incident. Many people on here will rant on about stuff like this.
Had he done it again in a row, I might have started to be suspicious. | |
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| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/18/2009 1:50:18 PM | | I dunno , but I think I may be too independent..and usually insist I pay my way the first few times at least. I do not expect any man to cover my expenses ..and if truly was a fluke I would feel nothing about covering his share, and giving him a lil wink saying The next ones on you :p | |
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| his credit card declined when he went to pay?
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:00:14 PM | | Do not go out with this guy again. He didn't care enough to plan ahead by at least checking his balance or going to the ATM. He will continue to be working from behind as long as you know him. | |
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