| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:26:06 AM | Why should any woman (regardless of appearance) settle for a relationship that doesn't make her happier than she is as a single person? It's not necessarily about being 'too picky' about the men she meets but rather about chemistry and compatibility with those men.
It should be obvious that a man can be a 'great catch' on paper but that doesn't automatically make him a good match for every woman he meets (and vice versa). Why should some people be judged negatively for holding out for their soul mate just because of their physical attributes?
Few people today would think an unattractive woman should settle for the first man who would have her even if she doesn't love him, so why should a more attractive person be expected to? What's the difference? | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:45:12 AM | Few people today would think an unattractive woman should settle for the first man who would have her even if she doesn't love him, so why should a more attractive person be expected to? What's the difference?
the difference, as has already been stated, is that hot girls get more attention, more selection, and therefore, more dates.
some people keep on chiming in with excuse after excuse, usually relating to themselves, about why they're still single. same ol' song and dance: don't wanna settle, busy schedule, guys won't approach me. it's all bullshit.
busy schedule? then lighten the load and make yourself available. cuz if you think a guy's gonna keep you and you're never around, then you're crazy. and you wonder why they keep disappearing.
guys won't approach you? then what's stopping you from approaching them? if they're intimidated, then they're insecure and you probably don't wanna deal with them anyway. some red flags are obvious.
don't wanna settle? well who does? this one is also obvious.
keep attracting losers? then don't hang out where losers are. they say you're no better than the company you keep and i believe that. and instead of dating left and right and not learning jack shit, start being a little more stringent. learn what you like and don't like, learn compromise and start getting real with yourself. if you keep getting crap, one would think that you'd get tired of the smell after awhile.
no one is good enough for you? no one is on your level? it's great to be accomplished but you gotta look past some things and start looking at the stuff that matters. just cuz a guy don't make as much as you don't mean he's piss poor and don't know how to save. just cuz he drives a hooptie don't mean he's wasting money away on that car note. just cuz he don't dress all high society and shit don't mean he ain't "cultured." i could go on and on about the nitpicky shit i hear about. if material shit is what you got to complain about then it ain't the guy that's the problem (in some cases).
it's just the law of numbers. hot girls can pick and choose who they date. but when you go on, let's say, 2 dates a week for 3 months (i've known women who go on 3 dates a week or more so this ain't impossible) and you still haven't found a good guy strictly based on the numbers, then something just ain't right somewhere. if you're still on a site like this, that marital status section never changing and years have passed, in combination with other sites and real world dating, and "on paper" you're considered a catch YET YOU'RE STILL SINGLE, then something just ain't right somewhere!
average and below average folk ain't gonna get the attention a hot chick or even a hot guy does. that's the difference. some people on here profess getting dozens and even hundreds of email over a week's span. some say they can't possibly sort through it all or read them all. regardless of that, that's dozens and even hundreds of potential suitors. and you're telling me you can't find a decent guy/girl out of DOZENS AND HUNDREDS? like i been saying, something just ain't right somewhere... | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:13:45 PM | you're telling me you can't find a decent guy/girl out of DOZENS AND HUNDREDS?
Well, it's kind of like finding a needle in a haystack then isn't it? Maybe the right person is there but the crowd gets in the way. Ultimately, the good ones get snapped up by lucky so-called 'average' people while the poor Hotties are enduring countless dehumanizing dates with people that have little interest in them as a person beyond their physical appearance.
Darwin would tell you that if being very attractive was really an advantage in finding and keeping a mate, then we would all have perfect bodies and faces because only the beautiful would be able to find mates. Fortunately, that isn't the case. Vive la difference!! | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 4:30:45 PM | I have a question for the men.
If I send you an email and get no response, later I
see that you were online today or yesterday, and the email shows unread, ....why??
I can understand that you might not want to continue a back and forth but you're back
on the site, I guess to find someone. Aren't you even curious what's in the email? The only emails that I don't open are from known sheisters. If it's from someone else I at least open it even if I don't want to correspond with that person. Just curious!!??? | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:00:16 PM | Why are there so many attractive woman on POF?
I would have thought that beautiful women already have so many guys chasing them that they wouldn't have to go to an online dating site in order to find someone. Is it really possible that they can't get dates offline? Or are they merely trying to add to their "collection" of admirers?
Not trying to add to my collection of admires for real..... Just wondering why I keep adding to my collection of Players........
MY BAD!!! | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:36:08 PM | I have a secret to reveal to the OP and his protagonists: all of the "attractive women" who "lower themselves" to finding dates on personals sites DO have something wrong with them. They can't get dates offline because they're secretly as ugly as a mule's ass; they have anti-social personality disorder; they're actually men in drag; they're axe murderers; or all of the above.
Hope that answers your question.  | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:04:07 PM |
I have a question for the men.
If I send you an email and get no response, later I
see that you were online today or yesterday, and the email shows unread, ....why??
I can understand that you might not want to continue a back and forth but you're back
on the site, I guess to find someone. Aren't you even curious what's in the email? The only emails that I don't open are from known sheisters. If it's from someone else I at least open it even if I don't want to correspond with that person. Just curious!!???
when i used to send first contact emails, that happened to me a few times. i can't explain it. i'd see them online all the time, days and even weeks go by with the email unread. so i've learned to just delete the sent email after a while if i get no response. and i move on to greener pastures. it ain't just women, it happens to men too. i'd also love to hear any other theories on that behavior. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:23:10 PM | Maybe they see the profile (and don't like what they see) and don't bother to read or delete the message?
My curiousity would make me read the message, however I don't speak for the entire human race... | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:34:37 PM | | I think part of the reason no one is curious anymore. Now if they look at the profile and don't answer, then that's because you aren't what they are looking for (no one knows what they are looking for). Not looking at the profile is just rude. Some women/men don't have time and get a lot of mail I am sure. That's probably a small fraction of them though. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:18:57 PM | The pool of men who are datable is not as big as the pool of datable women in lots of places, but not all.
Men in general die off a lot sooner than women. They don't take care of themselves or see doctors as often and have more bad habits and do things that shorten their life spans. More smokers and alcoholics and drug users are men as well as men who drive recklessly. More succesful suicides are by men. More AIDS cases are among men.
More men are in prison and get killed in wars.
There are thousands of beautiful intelligent women out there who will never find Mr. Right and get married. There truely are not enough elegible bachelors to go around.
In some small towns and a few states the eligible men outnumber the women.
Alaska comes to mind. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:57:21 PM | The pool of men who are datable is not as big as the pool of datable women in lots of places, but not all.
your post sounds incredibly cynical and even a little jaded. so you're saying women don't have their own set of problems that contribute to them not finding a suitable mate? and what's your definition of dateable? your own definition that you think applies to everyone, not just yourself. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/4/2009 6:31:31 PM | That was a rather strange question. Or was it a complaint?
I've had guys tell ME, and I don't consider myself on the A list, probably not even the B list, that they figured I was unavailable. I go to clubs once in awhile, but haven't met anyone I wanted to date. I guess it is harder finding someone in my age group I find attractive and looking for something long term. I thought it would be easier but I was wrong.
I was with a guy I met here for over 2 years. It wasn't what I was hoping for, but we shared a lot in common. So now I'm back to see if I can find someone who can spark my interest as much. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/4/2009 8:16:31 PM | The pool of men who are datable is not as big as the pool of datable women in lots of places, but not all.
It's true.
I know a lot of guys my age through work and socially. Try finding a guy who is single, has something to talk about other than poker and hockey, is not sexually jaded by porn, is not bankrupted by a couple of ex wives and a brood of kids he didn't plan and can't afford, is not deeply bitter about his ex, is in good physical shape (no pot bellies for god sake), isn't a gambler, isn't a drunk, isn't a chain smoker, doesn't have anger management issues, who doesn't have stained worn down teeth, who does not have ED, isn't a deadbeat, doesn't treat women like free porn and doesn't rant on about how superior he is to us......OMG it's pathetic.
Why can't you guys take better care of your lives and yourselves. Why do you have to let yourselves go so badly. It's sad.
Sorry guys but to be honest it's EXTREMELY SLIM PICKINS. You guys my age are a mess. A disgraceful pitiful mess.
I can't speak for the younger crowd. Maybe there's hope for them.
Sorry, I know what I said is rude and the fact that it's true isn't an excuse but I'm answering the OP and this is what I think the problem is.
Wear condoms, go to the gym, work hard, save your money,stay away from vices, do the right thing and develop your mind and then you will probably get and keep the girl. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/5/2009 5:46:11 AM | It's simple really. They are all men. If I felt I had something worthwhile to contribute I would do it in a heart beat... But, everyone beat me to it! Nevertheless the rules of the internet apply here too :)
Rule#29. In the internet, all girls are men and all kids are undercover FBI agents. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:20:28 AM | | Just so u know, I've met a lot of those so called "hot" women, nothing at all like they're pictures in person!!!! Funny how they play around with those pictures, don't fall for them... Look at more realistic ladies than those so called wannabe models. Also a lot of them are here just to ego boost how much attention they can get online nothing more. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/6/2009 5:46:48 AM | | you ain't figured that out by now, red buttons? lol. one would figure that they WOULD read the comments and attempt to learn how men think, whether they're joking or being serious. the opinions matter. you'd think that they WOULD take some of it to heart and use that info to make better choices in men. and vice versa. but some people can't learn, never learn, don't wanna learn. they like themselves the way they are and figure the other person needs to conform to them, or they want instant perfection, rather than both parties learning a little word called compromise. personal change goes a long way too. and one WOULD think when a person hits a certain age that they'd have learned a little something by then but clearly that ain't the case. don't know if it's just online dating or people in general. ain't figured that one out yet. but the individual is usually the source of their own problems, not everyone else. that's one thing i HAVE learned in my life. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/6/2009 2:19:05 PM | Not to say I am all "all that", but since I do get emails saying someone like me wouldn't give any guy the time of day, I guess I can say a few words about my experience.
I am not in good health. I am working on that now though. But because of this, I have put my looking for to "friends" and pretty much keep my profile to what I would consider would be meeting new and interesting people (since I am new to the area) and talking to people online to help me feel less lonely. I think it's fair to say that everyone's personal experience is different. I have also been on this site a very long time, and lived somewhere else for along time, so many on my faves list aren't even in the area I am currently in, but they are friends, and may want to keep in touch with me.
I also think serious relationships/marriage (never been married or engaged myself) are actually a big deal. We don't choose our family, but that is the one choice we get to make about someone who may be around us 24/7 from that point on. I don't want to make that choice lightly! LOL Plus, I am happy with myself and working on myself, and that also means I spend a whole lot of time alone, but it's ok. I got to be a better me to be a better me for someone else. It makes me sad to think someone would look at me and immediately think I have to be with someone to validate how I look, how about being happy for me cause I can stand on my own?
But that's just me. 
M | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/6/2009 3:28:30 PM | Red
Don't get mad.
All the things I mentioned are a matter of choice and don't require anything more than realising it takes work to make the most of yourself.
Personally I haven't suffered the ravages of time at all yet but I work really hard to make choices that keep me attractive.
And I know I won't always be youthful but I will NEVER ever let myself go and I will always be attractive for my age because I consider that to be totally a choice. I will always make choices and go to the effort of making the most of myself. As for wrinkles, I don't think that's what makes someone ugly. What makes them ugly is much more than that.
How do you think it feels as a woman who puts effort into staying slim, fit, well groomed, well employed, free of all kinds of ridiculous drama, eat very well, flattering clothing, great skin (because she took care of it), white teeth etc etc
How do you think it feels knowing men think they should be attractive when all they do is shit shower and maybe shave.
This is a ridiculous double standard.
I honestly think a lot of you still think you should all be dating a 10 when you let yourself slide down to a 5. Absurd. We only did that in the past bc we couldn't afford our match. Times have changed. Giddy up.
Honestly, I'm just telling you I could let myself get fat, slouch off at work and halve my income, be boring and ignorant, never bother going to the dentist, never bother getting a good haircut, never go to the gym, slouch, gorge on crap food, let my skin go to hell and on and on.
How do you think women feel when they go to a lot of effort to be attractive and guys think their beer belly is cute and yellowing teeth are not important.
Wake up. Catch up. I know tons of women my age who are not ravaged by time at all. They took care of themselves while men slacked off, flipped the remote and guzzled more beer to wash down another bowl of greasy chicken wings.
You know, so much of your demise is within your control. The fact is, most men don't bother making much of themselves because in the past all they had to do was bring home a pay check.
You're not used to the effort. We are.
Like I said, times have changed. Do yourself a favor and get a makeover. We do it all the time. What makes you think you shouldn't. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:02:46 AM | | I haven't been back to this site in a while, that's why no response from me about my question. This is for all the folks who answered my question about why men don't open emails. Thank you for your comment. I have a little more insight now. I personally have to open it just out of curiosity, even if I know for sure I won't be corresponding with that person. It happens at all sites but this one seems to be the worst for this. I'm on another site and get many more first responses and answers to my emails. Not all, but more than here. Nothing permanent yet but who knows that could change. I don't know what the difference is, my profile is basically the same. I do appreciate your answers though, thanks to all. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:22:21 PM | Maybe its cause they never ever leave coz they can't be bothered to message people and are always waiting for others to make the first move and relying on looks alone to bring people flocking. Maybe its just that they use somebody elses photo and lie? Maybe they don't even exist? (Personally I think its the last one coz I haven't received even a passing 'hi hows it going?' maybe I don't exist?) Oh****thats a worring thought maybe I'm the figment of somebody elses imagination? WTF thats just crazy talk isn't it?
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/7/2009 3:30:15 PM | okay so I dont consider myself "beautiful" but Im definantly not an ugly duckling.... When dating you find friends of friends most usually if you do find someone completely outa the circle and you are outgoing enough to date them they completely shut you down thinking creeper! or they aren't in your friends circle for a reason... sorry but I dont need my friends knowing what I did before I know.... also it is hard to find a Real man and not just a player when your out and about... most guys outgoing enough to say hi are usually players or someone who shouldn't be let outta their house... If I can get a slim idea of what im getting into before I get into a date with them It helps...
Example:
Neighbor: I started chatting with what seemed like a really nice gentlemen for maybe 5 mins a week... same amount of time as it takes to read and reply to a message on pof now here is the kicker I went on a date with charming but realized all I knew about was how much gas he uses a week what kinda of people he enjoys being with etc... not many people strike up convos all about themselves in person... when I got on this date (in a fancy restaurant) he couldn't bring up conversation or even answer my questions... I guess when he gets nervous he pretends shes just a guy friend and he actually started punching my leg randomly saying things like "So?" he lives near me and I have to see him everyday I avoid leaving my house from the front door now!
POF date:
Went on a date with a guy I met off POF he doesn't know and doesn't have to know my friends or every minute status update, He could pick up any conversation because he had a quick heads up on what I'm like etc. Date came out spectacular and I can still go out my front door. My friends find out about it from me and don't ever have to meet him... turns out we weren't right for each other (Mutual agreement) but I don't get the awkwardness from having to see him again... But if wanted can still be friends  | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/7/2009 5:46:21 PM |
most guys outgoing enough to say hi are usually players
first off, you know what you look like so don't front. second, if you have that attitude at your age, you're already jaded kinda early don't u think? you can't say hi back? you think every guy wants to get in your pants, which a lot do but not all of us, then you gotta look at what you're presenting to the guy. most college age kids are one-track minded so that's just something you're gonna have to put up with for a few more years. not saying there ain't an exception in the mix, but you know. i ain't gotta spell it out. don't blame us cuz how we operate is painfully obvious. how you react and adjust is what determines your relationship success. and vice versa too. | |
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| Why are there so many attractive women on POF?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:03:17 AM | I can agree that people who take care of themsevles find others who take care of themselves far more attractive. It is not attractive to not to care of your teeth, your skin, and your health.
I know lots of beautiful women in rl who are single. There does seem to be far more women than men in the pool. | |
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