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Thread: Should we try to love someone unconditionally?

whenwillthiswork26

Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 76
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Should we try to love someone unconditionally? Posted: 6/4/2009 2:39:07 AM
I have loved unconditionally as long as I could stand it. Yes, after "loving unconditionally" I have left with a sense of disillusionment to say the least.

Isobel135

Joined: 2/17/2009
Msg: 77

Should we try to love someone unconditionally? Posted: 6/4/2009 3:38:02 AM
I don't think I ever really thought about what unconditional love is until I had children. I'd like to think I love em unconditionally BUT I do not have to like their undesirable behaviours towards me (if they do). IS that conditional? Reading the posts, people confuse accepting behaviours for unconditional love. For example, I will some times state to my kids, just because you know I love you doesn't mean that you have to sit their and whack at me because I said no to more gaming time. I still love them but not their negative behaviours. Now if you go further down the road and suppose my kids will burn my house down or worse yet go insane and chop my arms off in my sleep. Well, um I would now HATE them. Everything is with conditions in this world. For me anyways. Including my kids. I have often thought of the concept and I guess having kids have crystallized for me that my love will be conditional. Yeah even for my children because if my kids become so deviant towards me .... yeah I will hate them. Why? Because I love me and will not tolerate negative behaviours towards me. Plus I love having arms. Of course, I've just illustrated some type of extreme behaviour and likely will get some flack for even suggesting something so heinous...but hey it happens. I just pray I will do a better job than just OK in raising my children so I can romantically attain unconditional love. As the the concept of a man's best friend is his dog. I guess...but if the man were to kick the dang dog every day, my guess is the dog would run away and not love the man. The dog's love is conditional...maybe not the man's but I would think the dog's is. I will be kicked to the curb for stating this: God's love is conditional. If it's so unconditional then why did he send Satan to hell? Shouldn't he forgive and let everyone into heaven. eh.....I'm already going to hell according to my pious Catholic mother for my divorce. Signed, the pragmatic lover

13karat

Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 78
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Should we try to love someone unconditionally? Posted: 6/4/2009 6:25:13 AM
i don't think someone loves anyone unconditionally, because if you do; then there is nothing they can do or say that will make you stop loving them, or push them away Just because I don't love the behaviour does not mean I stop loving the person. My kids make mistakes all the time... do things I don't like... they are human, and they are teenagers.... doesn't mean I stop loving them. While they get disciplined for the behaviours that are unacceptable, they know very well that I do not stop loving them for the person they are. The same goes for a relationship.... just because he goes out and gets all drunk one night, or shoots his mouth off when he has a bad day.... that does not mean I stop loving the person... it just means I find that particular behaviour unacceptable. Most people have some conditions, wether it be financial, ethical, spiritual, sexual; there is a condition for them to get w/you and to stay w/you. But those conditions come into play long before I am in love with the person. If we are not compatible in the areas that matter most to me, then it doesn't get to love in the first place.... therefore it cannot be "unconditional"... it is all about the levels. I don't think we have it in us to love everyone unconditionally.... that is foolishness... but I do think that most of humanity has it in them to love their closest friends and family unconditionally. JMHO

~Ace of Hearts~

Joined: 7/3/2009
Msg: 79

Should we try to love someone unconditionally? Posted: 8/4/2009 2:47:50 PM
I really believe this is an excellent thread because it allows people to look within themselves and try to feel what they believe. I doubt there is a correct answer here that will fit everyone's tastes as can be seen from many of the replies. As for me personally, I think mostly I agree that unconditional love is not something most humans can attain. You may set out to believe that you can love your partner without condition but if something significant enough happens that hurts you and who you are then it is doubtful that your love for that person will continue. Things like infidelity, betrayal, verbal and physical abuse, and criminal acts can interject themselves into relationships and one partner or the other will fall out of love. And all you have to do is look at the divorce rate to see that! Anyways, sadly I do believe there are conditions when it comes to romantic love. I wish it wasn't the case but that is what the pragmatist in me sees.

mcwr

Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 80
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Should we try to love someone unconditionally? Posted: 8/4/2009 2:53:10 PM
Should we try to love someone unconditionally? No. I don't love people that I can't trust or respect, and I don't really care for much of my family for that matter. I will only love someone that I can trust and respect.

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