| | Younger mothers?Is it wrong?Page 2 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | Ok but the OP seems to be expressing disgust in general to young moms. I guess it seems a little judgemental.
I mean who are we to decide what age is the right age ...its more about maturity than physical age. I know a woman who had her first in her 30s and her ignorance as far as child rearing just astounds me. I know another woman who had her first when she was 16 and she is one of the best moms I know.
Whether its hellish or not really doesn't matter if the parents made the choice to keep the child... instead of focusing on their age and all the trials that we all have, wouldn't it be better just to make sure we keep young people (men and women) informed and then support their choices (even if we may question those choices in our hearts) | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:44:44 PM | I'm not going to support any young teen parents, sorry. I think it is selfish to have a child before you can work and support yourselves, and give your child a decent life.
A girl who hasn't graduated from high school cannot get anything better than a minimum wage job, and that is not any where near enough money for her to pay for daycare while she works full time to pay for rent, utilities, food, etc., etc. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/2/2009 9:59:55 PM | Future, what you don't get and don't have to but you should at least acknowledge that people have the right to make their own choices to have as well as not have a baby. Some people believe that life starts at conception and abortion is murder, to them abortion is not an option, regardless of the circumstances, even a pregnancy produced by rape.
Many adults cannot support children and have them, do you propose that people pass some type of checks to ensure that they can support a child before they are allowed to have one? If someone loses a job and cannot find work, should the state remove their children?
You are also forgetting that in some cases, there are fathers around to take care of the babies they help create. Sometimes it is an older male who does have a job or it may be a young man who is willing to do whatever it takes to support his child. You cannot condemn every situation. There are many younger parents that are far superior to older people because each person is suited to the task differently based on his/her experiences as well as how they choose to educate themselves.
You base a lot of what you write on whether people are able to materially provide for their children but I know many children from middle class and wealthy homes whose parents pretty much ignore them and they are miserable. How is this better for society than a child living in a poor household who has parents that have nurtured him and prepared him for moving to adulthood? People can acquire material things, they cannot replace the emotional bonding that should occur in early childhood and in the ideal, be continued throughout the child's life. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 1:09:31 AM |
Future, what you don't get and don't have to but you should at least acknowledge that people have the right to make their own choices to have as well as not have a baby.
Choices have consequences. She can have all the babies she wants, but she shouldn't wail for John Taxpayer to pay for the consequences of her choices.
Many adults cannot support children and have them, do you propose that people pass some type of checks to ensure that they can support a child before they are allowed to have one? If someone loses a job and cannot find work, should the state remove their children?
Actually it wouldn't be such a bad idea. But let's start with the State not rewarding poor choices. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:32:03 AM | I was actually referring to emotional support not necessarily financial support. Its not about what we agree or disagree with at that point it becomes about the baby not the mother.
Also... as far as young women getting help from the tax payers...what about people who started out in a financial situation where they could take care of their children but through circumstances beyond their control they were not able to and needed assistance? Its not always that cut and dry. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 5:08:20 AM | I will never in my life understand the mindset of a young couple that discuss having children before they discuss finishing school, having a career and being emotionally and financially ready to raise responcible adults.
Most yong Mothers (at least the ones I knew back in the day) neglected proper birth control methods period. Today it seems as if considering marriage first or having future goals mean nothing and having a baby when you can't cupport your self is condoned readily. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 6:56:56 AM | yes it is wrong because most single mums are either get knocked up and wanting to have a baby out of marriage and things dont work with there ex partners and then ex runs off cause he dosnt want to be the dad to his chldren or either the single mum is left with a child 24/ 7 a year then if they didnt think of sort of degree then yes it has failed them and i f they cant take care of the suition then they couldnt afford marriage in the first place and had children out of wedlock then there tough time road ahead of them then when it come to the dating single mum will find it hard to ever to date ever again alot of guys wont get involved because of the suituion but they made the mistakes and should have thought earlier in there suition in the end they atleast have the kids for the rest of there lifes to put up with  | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 8:33:23 AM | So... Delivicious...
You're 39, and have a 20 year old daughter.
So why are you bashing the younger generation for doing the exact same thing you did?
Perhaps it's because you need a dictionary? | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:03:20 AM | with all do respect i am a young mother im 18 with twin boys and i wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
as much as i feel insulted by your post i am not ashamed about being a young mother
and i feel sorry that you look down on other ppl and post their joys or horrors on the internet with absolutly no knowledge of their story and if you were a younger mother i truely without a doubt beilive your being a hypacrite by saying its ''wrong''
if its so wrong than who the hell made you better than everyone else to post somthing like that????? WTF  | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:48:19 AM |
Future, what you don't get and don't have to but you should at least acknowledge that people have the right to make their own choices to have as well as not have a baby. Some people believe that life starts at conception and abortion is murder, to them abortion is not an option, regardless of the circumstances, even a pregnancy produced by rape.
Most of the teen pregnancies I am talking about happen ON PURPOSE. I don't have to support them, they make me sick.
Also... as far as young women getting help from the tax payers...what about people who started out in a financial situation where they could take care of their children but through circumstances beyond their control they were not able to and needed assistance? Its not always that cut and dry.
Well that is what things like welfare are there for. However, that would NEVER be the situation of the teens I am talking about, because they have never been in a financial position to take care of themselves or their children. They live with their parents because the are MINORS:
I'm not going to support any young teen parents, sorry. I think it is selfish to have a child before you can work and support yourselves, and give your child a decent life.
A girl who hasn't graduated from high school cannot get anything better than a minimum wage job, and that is not any where near enough money for her to pay for daycare while she works full time to pay for rent, utilities, food, etc., etc. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:53:16 AM | With all do respect i am a young mother im 18 with twin boys and i wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
Really? You wouldn't have wanted it any other way? How about married to the father of your children? You don't think that would be any better? Don't you think children would like to have both of their parents?
as much as i feel insulted by your post i am not ashamed about being a young mother
and i feel sorry that you look down on other ppl and post their joys or horrors on the internet with absolutly no knowledge of their story and if you were a younger mother i truely without a doubt beilive your being a hypacrite by saying its ''wrong''
if its so wrong than who the hell made you better than everyone else to post somthing like that????? WT
On what grounds are you calling someone a hypocrite? | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 12:56:31 PM | | I don't know about others but with me I had a very controling mom who wasn't about to take me to get birth control and condoms got very expensive.I'm sure you still have to have parental concent for things like that when you're under 18, which could be a huge factor. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:37:45 PM | I don't know about others but with me I had a very controling mom who wasn't about to take me to get birth control and condoms got very expensive.I'm sure you still have to have parental concent for things like that when you're under 18, which could be a huge factor.
Not in most of the U.S.:
STATE CONDITIONS FOR OBTAINING CONTRACEPTIVE SERVICES
Alabama Minors over 14 years, who have completed HS, who are married, or who have a child may get any health care services.
Alaska All minors with no restrictions.
Arizona All minors with no restrictions.
Arkansas All minors with no restrictions.
California All minors with no restrictions.
Colorado All minors with no restrictions.
Connecticut Minors who are married.
Delaware For minors who are 12 and over, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
District of Columbia All minors with no restrictions.
Florida Minors who require contraceptives for health reasons, who are married, have a child, are pregnant, or who have ever been pregnant.
Georgia All minors with no restrictions.
Hawaii For minors 14 and over, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Idaho All minors with no restrictions.
Illinois Minors who require contraceptives for health reasons, who are married, have a child, are pregnant, who have ever been pregnant, or who have a refrral.
Indiana Minors who are married.
Iowa All minors with no restrictions.
Kansas Minors who are mature.
Kentucky All minors with no restrictions. However, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Louisiana Minors who are married.
Maine Minors who require contraceptives for health reasons, who are married, or have a child.
Maryland All minors with no restrictions. However, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Massachusetts All minors with no restrictions.
Michigan Minors who are married.
Minnesota All minors with no restrictions. However, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Mississippi Minors who are married, have a child, or who have a referral.
Missouri Minors who are married.
Montana All minors with no restrictions. However, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Nebraska Minors who are married.
Nevada Minors who are married. Minors who have a child or who are mature may get any health care services.
New Hampshire Minors who are mature.
New Jersey Minors who are are married, pregnant, or who have ever been pregnant may get any health care services.
New Mexico All minors with no restrictions.
New York All minors with no restrictions.
North Carolina All minors with no restrictions.
North Dakota No explicit policy.
Ohio No explicit policy.
Oklahoma Minors who are are married, pregnant, or who have ever been pregnant.
Oregon All minors with no restrictions. However, the physician may, but is not required to, inform the parents.
Pennsylvania Minors who are are married, pregnant, have ever been pregnant, or graduated HS may get any health care services.
Rhode Island No explicit policy.
South Carolina Minors who are married, 16 or over, or who are mature.
South Dakota Minors who are married.
Tennessee All minors with no restrictions.
Texas Minors who are married. State funds may not be used.
Utah Minors who are married. State funds may not be used.
Vermont Minors who are married.
Virginia All minors with no restrictions.
Washington All minors with no restrictions.
West Virginia Minors who are married.
Wisconsin No explicit policy.
Wyoming All minors with no restrictions.
And condoms are cheap:
Condoms are available in drugstores, Planned Parenthood health centers, other family planning clinics, some supermarkets, and from vending machines. Individually, condoms usually cost a dollar or more. Packs of three can cost from about $2 to $6. In packages of 12, condoms can cost less than a dollar each. Some family planning centers give them away or charge very little. The cost in clinics or when authorized by a private doctor is covered by Medicaid in some states. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 3:42:07 PM |
I don't know about others but with me I had a very controling mom who wasn't about to take me to get birth control and condoms got very expensive.I'm sure you still have to have parental concent for things like that when you're under 18, which could be a huge factor.
So how did you end up a teen mother? Especially with a strict mother? | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 4:45:09 PM |
I don't know about others but with me I had a very controling mom who wasn't about to take me to get birth control and condoms got very expensive.I'm sure you still have to have parental concent for things like that when you're under 18, which could be a huge factor.
These are the kind of excuses that make you (and other teen moms with ridiculous excuses) just look, well... silly. Condoms have never been expensive and you never had to be 18 or over to buy them. I don't know of any doctor that would turn down giving birth control (like free condoms) to a young teen who says she is sexually active. As for your mom being controlling, YOU had every oppertunity to NOT have sex and to make sure the guy you slept with DID have protection. You had plenty of choices my dear.
with all do respect i am a young mother im 18 with twin boys and i wouldnt have wanted it any other way.
With all due respect, that's a very obvious thing to say... as no one is going to come here and say it was a huge mistake. When I was 18 I was living it up, hanging out at friends for weekends, taking road tours with my boyfriend, studying for finals and getting ready to move out on my own to the big city and start college. What are you doing? Oh right... taking care of 2 young kids... yeah, that's SO much better. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 8:18:52 PM |
With all due respect, that's a very obvious thing to say... as no one is going to come here and say it was a huge mistake.
I think that is one of the things I find so frustrating from teen mothers who are now a little older. Many of them just cannot admit that they made a terrible mistake. Of course I don't mean they wish they didn't have their child. I just wish they would admit life would have been a lot better for them AND their child if they had waited to have their child when they were educated, financially secure and married.
When I was 18 I was living it up, hanging out at friends for weekends, taking road tours with my boyfriend, studying for finals and getting ready to move out on my own to the big city and start college. What are you doing? Oh right... taking care of 2 young kids... yeah, that's SO much better.
It is too bad many of these people do not know what they have missed out on in life. There is plenty of time to have children in a lifetime. There is no reason to skip an education and valuable life experiences.
Some people also don't you don't have to work at a minimum wage job. If they had gone to college and gotten a career, work could have been something they looked forward to instead of just something one has to suffer through to pay the bills. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:22:42 PM | Steve217...I was on birth control and DID NOT WANT to get pregnet by no meas as I was young.
I was dealt a bad hand and my daughter is a birth control baby.
Right now...my daughter is 20 years old and ten of her friends are pregnet which she and I find to be horendous.These are young girls with so much to live for and reasons they got pregent and they stated themselves was to in thier words"Keep thier man"...One of her friends has even stated "Because it seems everyone is getting pregnet".....another we know got pregnet because of jealousy and the attention her cousin recieved while she was pregnet.
I made a mistake but she is my favorite mistake and would never take it back but in this day and age too many younger women are getting pregnet for more stupid reasons then ever. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 9:36:24 PM |
I made a mistake but she is my favorite mistake and would never take it back but in this day and age too many younger women are getting pregnet for more stupid reasons then ever.
At least you realize and admit it would have been better to have your child under better circumstances. It's not like you're on this thread saying how it was ok for you but not ok for your daughter's 10 friends.
Do you get a chance to talk to any of these girls? Can you tell them that having a baby to "keep a man" almost always backfires? | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 10:14:24 PM | Future....I don't get a chance to talk to them myself but my daughter has talked to them and she herself is fed up with her own generation and can't understand why so many girls her age are getting pregnet.She thinks about traveling and her education while some of her friends think nothing excpet having fun,keeping thier men and whatnot.
The discussion has come up as to what would happen if she ever became pregnet and I stand by her and decision to what she would do.Her future is at stake and she is not one to settle down and become a mother.This she has told me.
I think these days it seems to be a fade for young women to be pregnet.I blame society and Hollywood.Women are so easily swayed into thinking having a child is cool.Its not.Some are blessed with money and support to help raise a child while others rely on the government to help raise thier child.Its sick either way.I am sorry ...but thats how I feel.
I have seen so many young mothers rely on welfare and others end up having theis kids taken away from them.Its very troubling ... | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:03:54 PM | | I don't think welfare should be allowed for people who have never worked. Welfare is supposed to be for people who fall on hard times, not for people who CHOOSE their own hardships, like young women who have babies without the means to support them. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:40:53 PM | In my opinion the answer is yes it is wrong..and the only time they are NOT making the choice is when they have been raped.
My oldest daughter was 16 when she got pregnant..not from lack of knowledge as to what could/would happen when no b.c./protection was used..talked to her thousands of times about it and even told her if/when she started dating a young man and thought sex might become an issue to come to me and we would get her on b.c., Because SHE MADE THE CHOICE to be irresponsible, not only is her life messed up, but the LIVES of her children are as well. I was/am a good Mom..and raised her the same as I did her younger sister with the same values and morals..the youngest graduated and is now a liscened CNA and is working full time making decent money for herself. I have custody of the 2 babies because of choices her and their father made and because of the type of person he is(abuser) and other reasons concerning her..By no means is it "cool" or ok for these young girls, who as far as I am concerned are still babies themselves, to have babies. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:51:34 PM | | I am from Indiana and in this state they have what is called PLANNED PARENTHOOD..a place where not only minors can go but those of low income for yearly paps and contraception..all without the knowledge of their parents..they will even discuss abortion with a preg. teen without the knowledge of the parents. They also have baskets of condoms sitting on the counter and in the exam rooms and they are free they treat for STD without the knowledge or consent of the parent..but in all this discussion I have not seen any post(may have over looked it) about pregnancy prevention also being the responsiblity of the young man...WOW!! Thats a very sad thing in the year 2009 !! | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:10:01 AM | Igteyes...as I have grown into a woman I have and always will rely on myself.When I became pregnet with my daughter I never told the guy.I never gave him any idea he was the father til i was confronted by my own mom and his mom after she was born.It was my decision alone to want to raise her on my own with no help from him.I did but he eventually became apart of her life.It took some time for both of us to mature and to this day me and his new family get a long very much.We even exchange x-mas gifts each year and his new 2 daughters recieve birthday gifts from me.
But like I said in this day and age becoming a young mother seems to be a fade more then anything and fear of losing thier "man".We have planned parenthood here BUT a teen in my province can not take birth control til she is 16 years of age with permission from her parents.Because my daughter had"issues" as a young girl I forbid the doctor giving her the pill as I thought she might think I was giving her permission to have sex because now she was on the pill.But we talked long about it and thought it best for health reasons.I have to say thank God she has been so open and honest with me with her sex life unlike most girls are with thier mom's.We both admitt we don't like the idea of her knowing I know she has sex but its a fact of life.And she lets me know she is being careful.She has told me she is off the pill to take a break but her and her new bf are using condoms.Also she has said she respects me and they don't have sex when they sleep together in my home....HELL she even asked pfr my permission to take a shower together to save time when they were getting ready for work....lol | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 12:34:05 AM | | I understand where you are coming from on this issue and do agree on some of your points..it does seem to be a fad with young girls and they seem to keep getting younger..for anyone to believe it is THEIR choice is wrong..WE are the parents because WE are grown, mature adults who have already survived life to whatever age and it is our job to protect, instruct and advise our children ..I personally donot believe that any female under the age of 2o should become a Mother..the reason being that I believe that every person needs their "freedom"..by that I mean, no authority figure at home or school...free to come and go as you please and make your mistakes...not make a child a mistake, because more and more Grandparents like myself are raising their grandchildren..don't get me wrong, I would kill over these babies even more so then I would have over my girls, but at my age I should be able to grab my purse go on a date, go have some coffee with a friend or just what ever without having to get a sitter for the kids..but as far as the b.c. goes I think all young men should be using condoms not only to prevent pregnancy but to prevent stds as well, and if he doesn't have one then he shouldn't be stickin it in..In my state the "deadbeat" dad thing is rampant and it is because the law doesn't really do anything about them. ..am going to bed, but am going to check thread in the a.m. | |
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| Younger mothers?Is it wrong?
Posted: 6/4/2009 3:36:49 AM | Delivicious...
So how does a 20 year old feel about being called a mistake?
Seems kind of a mean thing to call your daughter. | |
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