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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:59:59 AM | Maybe he just loves his family. I know a lot of people like that.
Also, sometimes people make mistakes and pay for it with massive future debts. I screwed up in college when I was younger by picking a silly career and now I have a ridiculous crushing debt. I couldn't move out because I'd lose like a 1/4 of my wage to that debt on top of any bills I'd have to pay. I would be stuck working at a call center or at a warehouse for the next 10+ years until I paid it off.
Not to mention a lot of people that simply inherit money and don't realize how much it helps. I have countless friends who inherit houses, get their educations paid for(or at least partly), and other benefits. When working full time minimum wage gives you significantly less than 20k a year after you factor in transportation, food, and taxes saving up for an 150k house or paying 25-30k for an education starts to become difficult.
This kind of talk pisses me off as it makes me realize how ridiculous it is to pay for education. I guess Canada can afford not to do it because it just imports the skilled labour it needs from poorer countries.
Posts like make me glad that I left Canada and moved to Uruguay. Sure it may be a third world country but the people are welcoming and the education is free(and actually good). | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:43:26 AM | How am I "dissing" him? And how am I a "golddigger"? The man is cheap.
He is a mooch off his mom. He is a little boy inside. He admits it.
What an idiotic thing, to call me a golddigger because I said he is cheap.
This obviously is something that bothers you about him. The question is why. What do you care whether he buys his own soap or not? Do you know everything about his living situation? Maybe he pays rent and does chores around the house. Who are you to judge him? The only reason I can think of why this would concern a woman is because she wants to know how freely he will spend money on her if she was in a relationship with him. In which case, you are a gold digger. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:57:21 AM | LOL...gotta love the lack of reading comprehension skills in these forums.
The OP is NOT looking for someone to pay her bills. She is NOT a "gold digger" - she has her OWN successful job, house, car and LIFE. I'm so sick of seeing that RIDICULOUS phrase "gold digger" thrown around here everytime someone gets behind a keyboard. Jesus.
The OP's "friend" is NOT living at home to help his parents with rent. He is NOT living at home because he got himself into a financial bind. He is NOT living at home because his parents are elderly and need full-time care.
He's living at home because he's too damned lazy and scared to go out in the world and make it on his OWN - and he so much as TOLD the OP that. The OP said he's passive and shows NO independent traits at all. He's like a frightened little rabbit whose afraid to leave the nest. It has nothing to do with the economy and nothing to do with finances.
It DOES, however, have everything to do with this guy have ZERO life skills. And there's absolutely nothing appealing about that. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:03:04 AM |
The OP is NOT looking for someone to pay her bills. She is NOT a "gold digger" - she has her OWN successful job, house, car and LIFE. I'm so sick of seeing that RIDICULOUS phrase "gold digger" thrown around here everytime someone gets behind a keyboard. Jesus.
The OP's "friend" is NOT living at home to help his parents with rent. He is NOT living at home because he got himself into a financial bind. He is NOT living at home because his parents are elderly and need full-time care.
He's living at home because he's too damned lazy and scared to go out in the world and make it on his OWN - and he so much as TOLD the OP that. The OP said he's passive and shows NO independent traits at all. He's like a frightened little rabbit whose afraid to leave the nest. It has nothing to do with the economy and nothing to do with finances.
It DOES, however, have everything to do with this guy have ZERO life skills. And there's absolutely nothing appealing about that. .
Yeppers. It seems like the guy in question just has no ambition. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:04:58 AM |
He's like a frightened little rabbit whose afraid to leave the nest.
Lmao !
Sounds like the perfect "Modern Metro Man to me !.. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 10:14:48 AM | | Well with my reading skills, I read on the original post that he's getting his own place in the fall. So what's the problem? Wait until the fall. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:06:29 PM | | This like other posters said is all about control with a mix of can you piss as far as me if not your a loser. Let's be real all that really matters in the pursuit of love and happiness is how one treats and makes the other feel. Having this and that will never suffice for the affection and love one can give over a lifetime if they choose to be together forever. Why dismiss this man because of his free will choices? I could see if the guy was trying to move in with you or take residence but my god, he lives with his parents and you say he's all that so why are you so quick to just up and ditch him? Plus your looking for marriage and what not, well it's not good to shack before marriage, so this could be a blessing in disguise; how many people do we all know who shack that talked about getting married but never get married or how bout those who shack for years on years get married and it never last. You should embrace this man for who he is and how he treats and makes you feel as a woman, not for what he has or where he chooses to lay his head. This is just another case why some women will always be lonely for life wondering why thier lonely because thier too busy judging a man before they even know him. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 3:25:41 PM | I suspect that he has some pretty serious "mommy" issues going on.
The average 30 year old is not still living at home. However I can't totally pin the blame on this poor sap, at the end of the day the blame for this falls with the parents. They should have kicked him out a long time ago. Speaking from a social developmental standpoint, this guy is so far behind the curve, he probably thinks he's ahead. There are so many skills that he just has no idea how to perform. First and foremost he has no concept of financial responsbility.
I don't know why parents do this to their children, it's not doing them any favours by letting them hang around the nest.
Anyway the next step seems obvious, wait until he gets his own place and see how he does. Make sure that he is really living on his own, and not getting mommy to cook him his meals and do his laundry. Basically throw him off the deep-end and see if he sinks or swims and go from there. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 10/30/2009 11:41:58 PM | To the OP: Does he live there for free, or does he pay rent that's close to the norm for renting a room/studio apartment? IMO that's the biggest factor. If he's at home for free and indeed has no circumstances requiring this (unemployed, etc) then I'd say he's a mooch and it's a cause for concern. Mooches need love too, but are historically bad news for the SO. If he pays rent and is living like most bachelors do, only at home instead of a strangers house, then it shouldn't be an issue.
Personally, I find renting an apartment by myself is not only financially ridiculous but it's depressing and a waste of space. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 4:12:13 PM | Run like hell! Don't waste your life and time. You will become his mother. Believe me it's not worth it, you will be the one taking care of everything in life. He doesn't have any life skills of his own. If you are the sort that has drive to better yourself you will eventually be tearing your hair out at his lack of desire to improve and the fact that he is holding your life back from progressing. No matter what you do to help him he will NEVER change because he doesn't want to help himself.
His lack of drive will also apply to the relationship. You are the one that will have to make every effort for it to survive because he won't be bothered to go out of his way to make you happy. It will just be too much effort for him to have to think or take any action. It's much easier for him to do nothing, and that's exactly what he'll do.
When the crap hits the fan don't expect him to be by your side. He'll be hiding in the corner while mummy makes it all better.
I have a lot of experience with a person like this. Please head my warning. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:51:02 PM | OMG what is wrong with this dude?
I would have laughed at him , and bailed. I wouldnt have ever kept talkin to him.
He should just tat a huge L on his forehead and be done with it.
^T^ | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 8:08:44 PM | I think I may have missed something here, please don't make me reread this!!
1) Have you actually met this guy?
2) After reading all this, would you even consider meeting him? Let alone determining if he is your marriage material? | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/1/2009 11:20:21 PM | I think you folks need to understand just how difficult it is to survive on Long Island these days. If you find a good man who will treat you right but lives at home, you'd let that be the deal breaker and settle on a guy who has his own place but is an ***hole? Seriously?
Many grown men these days still live at home. Not always because they want to, but because they can't live on their own due to the high costs of living on Long Island. Don't be so god damn judgmental and give these "losers" a chance for once. Maybe having a woman who loves them would provide the drive they need to get a second job or look harder for a better one. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/2/2009 10:11:09 AM | This whole thread is about this man's financial status. Why isn't the question whether he treats he good and makes her feel wanted and loved. Her mind has been made up she just came her for validation and alot of people gave it to her.  | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:49:34 PM | | All of my brothers and sisters have had to move home during our lifetime because of jobs situations. But none of us ever liked it...and we moved out as quick as possible! | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:00:55 PM | | Some here are quick to judge and think that this guy is mommy's boy with no life skills. This may not be the case. I think back to when I moved out of the nest at the age of 25 and I already had many life skills. My parents never babied me or did my chores for me. From the time I was an early teenager, I was cooking, doing laundry, cleaning, and fixing stuff around the house. The one thing that I learned after I moved out of the nest was how great it was to be on my own and how I should of did it sooner. Adjusting to extra bills wasn't a big deal because I was always good at managing finances and living with the folks allowed me to build up some equity. I think it's a fallacy to assume that this guy's folks are doing everything for him. | |
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| He is 32 and lives at home?
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:14:15 PM | | Sorry I couldn't do it he's obviously not mature enough to handle being an adult. Tell him if/when he's ready to grow up oh never mind he won't | |
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