| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:45:32 PM | Timing is everything when it comes to gift giving.
OP, it was a sweet gesture and the thought behind it was even sweeter but the timing of it was all wrong. That's all.
A few dates later and signs of her liking you a lot more...and it would have made her swoon most likely. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:08:23 PM | Incredibly sweet gesture on the roses, your wording maybe was slightly, well, it's one thing to express interest; the expectation of serious after one date as a given maybe could make her worried (if she didn't see that or know for sure, she might think that she was going to hurt you, maybe and didn't want to...)
But what a sweet thing to do. I'm sorry it was not received in the mode I'm sure you meant it to be.
Hang in there :) | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:09:47 PM | Too much too soon (for me) - it wouldn't be a deal breaker in and by itself mind you, but it would make me uncomfortable (on many levels, note attached included).
Don't get me wrong OP, I have received (and appreciated receiving) flowers before, and I've even received flowers after a first date. But looking back, it didn't change how I felt about the sender...if anything, it made me feel obligated to accept another date with him, which I might have gladly accepted anyway - the point is that an extravagant gift makes you feel you have no other option but to accept, specially when you're young and/or a bit naive (like I was at the time) and it takes the pleasure out of the equation and replaces it with pressure.
As far as the note...hmm...I might at some point have "believed" in love at first sight (like when I was 12 or 13 perhaps) but really, I would think that someone was joking (or desparate for anyone to fill a void) if they presumed that he's met the one or that we're an item after one date...more than the flowers, the note is what would (not) do it for me.
A simple thank you for the lovely evening - I enjoyed getting to know you and hope we can do it again soon type of note would have conveyed the same message but sounded less presumptuous, less final...less desparate, however that's just me, I have my quirks (and bells and whistles and full blown 3 bell fire alarms) like everyone else.
Also, and even though I hate to bring this old canard on the table again, I hate (with a passion) having someone trying to impress me with his money or his things or his "worldly ways" ... did he send me those flowers because he genuinely liked me and wanted to let me know/brighten my day or just because it's what "people do"?
See me? I would much rather he brings me a little token in person on our next date, maybe one flower, or a book he's read and thought I would enjoy too, or some tea candles, or some other little thing (even a favorite candy bar) that shows he was listening...flowers are beautiful and all, but they're generic (and yes I admit it - I'm cheap and I hate hate hate to see money wasted on flowers, specially when they're for me since I don't appreciate them)...now, if he wants to send me a dozen lobsters, that's another story;) 
JMO | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:28:49 AM | I think asking if anything is right or wrong is pointless. Some people would like it where others would not. Whats important is knowing the person you are giving anything well enough to do so. A gift is only a gift if it is revived in that vein. So much emphasis is put on the receiver by some responders some even going as far to say that she may be mentally unstable... lol...
If your going to give something like that it needs to be appropriate to the person not just a mechanical gift giving check list to follow because more people said it would be ok then thought it might be creepy. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:32:45 AM | | Wow, that was a bit over the top. Sure you might have jumped the gun but since you knew her from high school, I think she might have found it a cute gesture. Oh well, hopefully the next woman will appreciate you. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 4:15:07 AM | madly in love or first meeting, nothing intrigues/confuses a gal more than giving her a single red rose without any reason.
she'll love it, however will drive herself crazy trying to figure out just what your up to... | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 4:28:10 AM | Roses. That was awesome.
She is a flake. Roses are a nice gesture.
It wasn't like you were chaining her up in a cage in your basement. You just sent her some freaking flowers.
She is an idiot. I bet she would f&Ck up a free meal too. | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 5:18:43 AM | I don't think it was the yellow roses that scared her as much as the indication that you're already living in the future and making plans with someone you're just meeting. "I look forward to the day when I'll be giving you red roses" = "let's get this thing moving along as quickly as possible".
I've given red roses (the "baby" / "mini" ones though) on a first date and even asked if they thought it was "too much" - they said they thought it was a nice gesture - many times we even hit it off very well (maybe a result of giving red). Some even said they didn't really know the differences between the rose colors and their meanings.
I think the real key is to relax and just be yourself. If you "feel" that red, yellow, pink, white are appropriate then just do it. Don't over-think dating - just let things flow. Sure you have to steer the boat a little, but don't over - do it.
Mike | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 5:32:51 AM | my mom loved roses -she had huge rose bushes growing in the front yard... (distraction was the key to opportunity)
to me as a teen, i saw it as a golden chance to give every gal i ever saw or went out a -fresh cut rose (of the color i desired for her)
don't think i ever met a gal who had a problem with getting a flower as a friendly gesture...  | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 5:37:23 AM | OP,
I agree with the general consensus.....if she liked you the roses would have been a great gesture....but, since she wasn't into you the roses were over-the-top. Next time/next woman maybe a small bouquet of cut flowers would be less...intimidating | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 6:35:49 AM | Screw her!!!!! Honey, a man who is thoughtful enough to send me roses is definitely one I will go out with again!!! That just shows how thoughtful and sweet and romantic you are!
Don't you ever stop being you! I love when my bf brings me flowers or little gifts. And he loves when I do the same for him.
You keep it up!
Beth | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:17:09 AM | Don't be excessive like that! Sure I use to do that when I was younger, but it just makes people want to get away from you, cause they either feel unworthy or like they can't keep up with that.
Let me put it this way...
Would you give her an engagement ring after the first date?
So don't give her roses! :-) | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:24:18 AM | Well, when youre sitting there
In your silk upholstered chair
Talking to some rich folks that you know
Well I hope you wont see me
In my ragged company
You know I could never be alone
Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think youre the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers
by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I wont forget to put roses on your grave
Well, when youre sitting back
In your rose pink cadillac
Making bets on kentucky derby day
Ill be in my basement room
With a needle and a spoon
And another girl to take my pain away
Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think youre the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the mail
Send me dead flowers to my wedding
And I wont forget to put roses on your grave
Take me down little susie, take me down
I know you think youre the queen of the underground
And you can send me dead flowers every morning
Send me dead flowers by the us mail
Say it with dead flowers at my wedding
And I wont forget to put roses on your grave
No I wont forget to put roses on your grave
Jaggar/Richards
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:08:24 AM | Op, I think it was very sweet, actually. I've always been a sucker for flowers, although my favorites are carnations. Even if he just picks them up from Publix on the way to see me.
And if she knew you from before, it seems she should have known you well enough to not miserpret your note.
She probaly had second thoughts for another reason.
 | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:12:08 AM | | after getting the dozen roses, i'd be flattered, flushed, happy, and yes, at the same time, a bit scared. but if i was really into you, i'd atleast give you a chance to explain why a dozen roses? | |
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| A Rose Giving Question
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:46:08 AM | First a tip of the hat and salute to Dave, took some cajoles to do it.... give him a A+for the effort but a D- for the execution....... This is a great example of old style courting, a hundred years ago this would have been common even expected, It would have been known as declaring your intentions....... results may have been the same though (G) It was just the way a gentleman courted a Lady... The practice has declined thru the years though for reasons as stated in this forum ....the reason for the D- instead of a F is hopefully Dave learned from this.... the note was a little to much for today's Women and your situation. Great Idea though, think I will try it on my next great date.... Except with just 3 yellow roses, and with the note saying How much I was looking forward to spending more time in her company (G) yikes strike that better make it How much I enjoyed her company..... now I am overanalizing everything ..... sigh..... no wonder we men are so confused these days
Twice in my life I have been sent flowers.... I was surprised and delighted, not for the flowers they sent but for the thought and effort put behind the act, thinking back when I have given flowers, results were always good except for one instance when she asked me OK what did you do??? ........... last time she got flowers (G). Hmmmm this gives me the idea for another topic for the forum...
Salute to Dave...... for the effort, I think you were trying to show some class not seen much these days | |
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