| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 4:42:22 PM |
I am looking for help on how to attract someone, and all you did is basically told me that I need to be incarcerated in a mad house.
** No one has said any such thing! Tracy gave you good suggestions, but you haven't applied any of them. You are still here whining about not being able to meet someone.
I simply told you to be proactive. It doesn't sound like you are in a healthy place emotionally to meet someone. It almost seems like in order to date you one would need to come with cue cards. A relationship is a two way street. You want to sit back, and have everything handed to you without helping yourself. It is very unbecoming.
You have been given excellent advice. It is up to you to apply it or not. There is nothing more I can add to this conversation. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:03:48 PM | **** Troll Alert******
Really????
How can you be this clueless and know how to use a computer, or even live by yourself? Not buying it, no, not any of it. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:12:22 PM | | You ant me to lie to attract someone, not really a good way to get around this, and YES I do live by myself since I turn 18, and I do work since I was 16 | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:31:03 PM | Let's look at this as if it is an assignment.
Headline: "Take me out for a test drive!"
Profession: (insert something general) ie: Manager, Warehouseman, Tradesman, Finance, Call centre, Technician, whatever. Just don't leave it blank.
Interests field: (for examples) Classic rock, CSI, Walking, Hiking, {Favourite Author} , Movies, Crosswords, Sushi, Cooking.... try for at least 6-8 items.
The profile body will need work. May I?
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I do not know what you ladies want to know - this is one of the great mysteries of the Universe!
I grew up in a remote town in northern Quebec that I could hardly wait to get away from as a young man. It's not all maple syrup and lumberjacks, kids!
Since I work nights all the time, it makes it difficult to meet people and do any of the typical activities, so I'm looking for someone with a creative sense of imagination so we can figure out fun ways to spend time together. Shift workers welcome!
Generally, I prefer a quiet setting to enjoy a great conversation and the company of the person I'm with. A casual neighbourhood pub or sidewalk cafe is more my style.
Care to join me?
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You can have the same basic information without sounding clueless, even if you are! Fake confidence will work here because your viewer won't know the difference. Be as nervous as you like - she can't tell here. Once you've been corresponding a bit and decide to get together for coffee or something, by all means mention you're a bit nervous or excited to meet in person. Do NOT say you've never dated, that's just too much information. You can certainly say you haven't dated 'much' due to your job. This is also true and will not be as much pressure on your date.
You know you need to get a new photo. Pass the camera to a co-worker, tell them it's for your mom/cousin/friend in Australia. Look straight at the camera, lift your outer cheeks a bit. No big fake cheese-faces. A casual smile is better than none.
I get the sense you are reserved in your social situations and have difficulty reading body language. I have some more information on this if you'd like to email me privately.
Please feel free to use/ignore the profile body and suggestions as you see fit. Good luck! | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:14:44 PM | You said.
I have not seen anything beside the first post by Tracyannk, and I do not understand how the music, movie, book, where I grew up, etc... could help
** If you mention a few of your favorite things: books, movies, bands etc
someone who reads your profile may have that common with you and responds. I know you work nights, but do you watch TV in the mornings or afternoons? If so, what do you watch? I love Judge Judy and watch her every day. Do you like animals? Do you have any pets? What do you do in your free time? You say you work a lot, what do you do?
You are a nice looking man, so let's work on your profile. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/4/2009 10:04:30 PM | You basically asked the same thing 2 months ago and got most of the same answers but didn't change anything in your profile. You should definitely take you go first's advice and add in your own information where/as needed for your profile. It was very well thought out and extremely nice of her to do for you.
You also need a new pic - because of the stuff in the background I tend to not believe it is a driver's license photo it looks more like from a webcam, if it isn't I apologize for assuming otherwise. If you don't have a digital camera or web-cam you can get a low end model for under $20. Many cell phones have cameras on them ask a friend or co-worker to take one of you and send it to you, it would most likely be better than what you have posted.
I saw that you RSVP'd to go to the local POF event in April, did you actually GO? That would have been a good start at meeting single people and I'm sure there were many cameras around and that someone would have been more than happy to take a few pics of you and send them to you via email.
Sorry if you think people are being harsh on you but you asked for advice (again) and apparently you aren't hearing what you want to hear. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 3:45:37 AM | As for the hobbies I do not have any
LOL. Sorry when I read a poster comment as this being the worst ever profile, I had to look. And had afore-reaction, this being a dating site. Compared to other member's efforts, you don't bother to lift a finger. You're the other side of the dating coin. It's hilarious  Not havin a go! You seem to be gettin enough help here.
I wondered if you're having a lend of us or not. Gonna er on the side of caution and say, not sure!
Edit:
I am too scary to be on picture
Ahh, strolled down and me sees a troller. Like others have said, stop trolling and fakin it. You're clogging Forum space and wasting people's time. Shame on you. Now 40 YO virgin I do believe lol.
Oh well, I did get a laugh out of it.
Good Luck. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:29:24 AM | You have been given a great deal of good advice already. I just checked your profile and it is obvious that you have followed none of it.
Until you make up your mind to address all of this in a proactive manner you are destined to stay at home alone whining about why you can not get a date.
No one but you can fix the situation, yes counseling and self help support groups can help but you are still the one responsible.
Get some help, then try dating again. With your current attitude you do not have much chance of finding a partner.
Good luck to you
Ron | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 7:46:26 AM | Tracy, I got to thinking that he may just be doing this to see how long people will keep writing. A test of our gullibility maybe.
Ron | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:28:26 AM |
I saw that you RSVP'd to go to the local POF event in April, did you actually GO?
No I did not go, I felt that it would not of been my place, being all alone there with just stranger in a setting that I do not know I would of probably just panic
Do not get me wrong I work with the public since I began working at the age of 16, but being in that kind of setting (POF Event) is not the same, people have expectation which I do not know if I could meet them | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:35:08 AM |
Is it just me, or does anyone else think that this guy still lives in his moms basement?
Tracy I have not lived with my parents since I turn 18, and it would be even harder for me to live in their basement since they are both in a cimetery, and been there for quite awhile now
I have just ask for help and you have been calling names, I do not think that I was impolite with either you or any of the other posters. But most of the posters have begun to make judgement on me without even knowing me.
No offence intended on any of the posters, but being judgemetal is not helping somebody at all, my question was and is still genuine, and when I am saying that I never dated it is the truth even in high-school I never was able to get close to a girl much less being able to ask one out | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:53:53 AM | We've been trying to help us but all you've given us is excuses. In order to meet someone you need to put yourself out there a bit. If you had attended the PoF event you would have been surrounded by people just like you - people that want to meet someone.
Isn't there anything positive you can put about yourself in your profile? I gave you a god format to follow in an earlier post. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:08:12 AM | | Tracy I do agree that you tried to help, but (and I do want ot make an excuse) I do have problemin discribing myself when I talk, and it is almost impossible for me to put it in writing, and I do have problem putting anything in writng even in school when ask to write about something I never was able to do so even in my first language and honestly I do not know what I could put that would be seen as positive since I do not know how to discribe myself at all | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:12:44 AM | ^^Then it's settled. Online's not for you. In order to get anywhere here, you have to be able to post a profile that works, take and post pics that work, post and find common interests, and be proactive and social.
If you feel that you either don't have any of that and/or the written word and presentation aren't for you, then you need to try something that does. This only works for those who utilize it correctly.
What you can do that works for you only you can figure out. But at least you know it's not here, one less thing to worry about. Most dating techniques are socially oriented, so if you're not social or don't want to be it stands to reason that it won't go well for you.
Good luck. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:22:56 AM | | Note he had a very similar post started 4/5/09 titled “what to say in a profile” in which he got lots of similar advice and he gave all the same excuses. | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:42:26 AM | So, if you aren't trolling.. here is a suggestion
Take all your postings, cut and paste them into your profile - heck it can't be any worst than what you have in it already. Just do something instead of whining - just do it!
PS
Get a dog | |
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123023
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Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 49 | |
| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 11:54:07 AM | Try listening to what people are telling you.
You have set restrictions on who can contact you. YOU did that, your profile says that only women between the ages of 25 and 41 can email you.
So, if you are not expecting any contact, why did you restrict who can contact you?
The point is, 25 yr old girls are not in your age group any longer. Yes, you didn't date any when you where younger, but you've gotten older, so, your dating age group has also.
(doesn't matter if you don't like it or agree, 25 yr old girls are mainly looking for guys their age, or Mr. Rich Guy or a guy with movie-star good looks. )
Considering that you have problems meeting people, it would be a good idea to not restrict someone. Maybe expect to date a women 41 to 45.... because there is heavy competition for those younger girls, and you are way behind on life experience, and have already been unable to compete. It's not the end of the world - you are over 40 (no matter how you've wasted your life up until now) You are over 40, and, if you want to date, you should accept someone else LIKE YOURSELF.
Just because you've always worked on the weekend.... maybe you should re-arrange your work schedule if possible. Does everyone at your job have to work every weekend?
Learn to TAKE SUGGESTIONS. People that don't need suggestions, or no improvement, don't post asking for help.
Remember, you asked for help. YOU NEED IT. Your life is PASSING you by. You need to change things.
 not that this applies, exactly, but I was all of a sudden reminded of a Will Smith line from Men In Black:
And, uh - hire a decorator to come in here quick, 'cause damn. ... | |
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| how do you attract when you are over 40
Posted: 6/5/2009 2:27:32 PM |
You have set restrictions on who can contact you. YOU did that, your profile says that only women between the ages of 25 and 41 can email you
I did not know until a few minutes ago how to changed those setting in the mail, I may have done that when I created the account I do not remember because there was a lot to do when creating it and most if it just confused me and the cherry on the sunday was that damn profile and some kind of test that I do not even know what I answered.
So to make it clear I just received an e-mail telling how to do it | |
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