| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/4/2009 8:40:24 PM | Why do you think because they're not interested in you, in particular, they're only interested in a 20-year-old? If you haven't talked to them, there could be a dozen reasons of incompatibility they see which has nothing to do with your "fitness" or your age.
Perhaps it is true what friends have told me- "Usually if a man of over 50 is single, there is a very valid reason".
Men, eh? Just men? Not women, too? See how stupid that sounds now? | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:14:24 PM | Before I became involved with a wonderful man (who is in my age range) and took myself off the market, I would get emails from all age groups... 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's & 60's. Most were in their mid 40's to early 50's and quite a few were in great shape, as well as having all the other attributes you listed. I, on the other hand, am NOT in great physical condition. This is stated on my profile.
You do have an extremely tight age filter on your profile. You really may want to consider expanding it. Even if you were to only open it up enough to allow men 50 and older to contact you, that would still open you up to quite a few additional prospects. With the wonderful condition you are in, I really don't understand why men in their 50's wouldn't be falling all over themselves to contact you, if they could. You are severely limiting yourself with your restrictions. | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/4/2009 9:40:01 PM | you need to move to california, san diego, there are tons of older men (50-60) who are extremely fit. old surfers who still get up at dawn to catch a wave. i moved here from south carolina and louisiana and i have never seen such fitness minded people in my life. i guess it is the beautiful weather and water and such.
and they are not all looking for youngsters. i am dating someone my age now and have dated a few others in this age bracket.
i would suggest more pics of you, take down the babies. also, i think that your opening lines about extreme fitness could be intimidating. it sounds competitive. perhaps tone that down a little and state that you are looking for someone who has taken care of themself and is physically active.
not meaning to offend, just offering my two cents! | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 1:50:27 AM | A fair few of my girlfriends are now going out with much younger men - I also find that much younger men ask me out but I don't think its anything to do with money - think that there's a "stage of life" thing going on where older women have more free time and interesting lifestyles etc., so the men think we will be attentive, or else they are particularly attracted to one aspect of a person (long hair in my case). So perhaps you should widen your age band just a wee bit? Don't think there's much wrong with going out with a bloke, say 8 years younger :-)
It might make those "its just the way it is - deal with it" morons shrink a little, which is all to the good too..... ;-) | |
|
| |
| |
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 4:36:03 AM | I am a great admirer of those who have the self-discipline and determination to keep themselves physically fit as you have obviously done OP. Cudos to you for your hard work! 
But having said that... there is another kind of fitness that I think is equally important and sometimes, it gets lost in the drive for physical fitness. The fitness I'm referring to is spiritual fitness... the kind that takes thought, introspection, insight, self-discipline, balance and most of all, the willingness to grow. People can get into relationships without having high standards of physical fitness but making a relationship work demands a rather high degree of spiritual fitness and that's what appears to be lacking in a lot of people.
I think, if you are looking for your equal in terms of physical fitness, you may be missing the boat where guys who are more spiritually fit for relationships are concerned.
The unfortunate thing is that a lot of people who are working their bodies, are forgetting to work their spirits and many are unwilling to do the growth work that would make them wonderful mates. The ones who are working on their spiritual growth and fitness are not so easy to spot as the ones who are working on their physical fitness. It's a sad state of affairs when the most important balance gets overlooked but as I see it, that's how it happens that older physically fit people end up not growing in the other areas. | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 4:38:08 AM | Hi stage,
I agree with you that younger men that are attracted to much older women (meaning 10 plus years older) usually are looking for a very fit body.. I never sensed the ones I met during the course of my life were looking for marriage or alimony. However perhaps they did not wish to tell me that they were looking for a wife since they knew I was negative about even being a girlfriend? So am not positive about this one.
Now let us address the older fit man.. He obviously has a hoard of women that are attracted to him as well. He can easily play the field endlessly. Why should this man settle for one?
It is working for them just fine and if it is not broke why fix it?
Sure he may state he is looking for "long term" yes a long term of endlessly dating..
thecatsmeoww | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 5:30:26 AM | Everyone is entitled to their own preferences, so if men (or women) my age or older prefer to date younger (or fitter, smarter, slimmer, etc.), the more power to them.
I suggest removing your age restrictions completely (they're very narrow), or at least allow ten years each way. Of all the mail restrictions, the age one is the least useful IMO - what if someone who would be perfect for you happens to be one year off the mark and can't contact you?
And the same can be said about the 75 miles restriction - first, it's not always accurate, so someone could be 50 miles away and because of some technicality (or glitch) , he's not able to contact you. And once again, there could be someone who's perfect for you who's one or two miles off the mark and can't email you because of it.
Good luck to you OP:)
JMO | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 5:34:56 AM | I'm not fit like you , and I'm a more laid back kind of guy, so, not sure why fit older guys chase 25 year olds, I guess because they can "run" as fast as them! : ) I don't know!
Not sure what would "DRIVE" a fit older person , but, the "DRIVE" would be a turn off for me, because "driven" people seem too centered on their self. That's just me. I relax and smell the flowers and don't feel driven that way. I use to be , into yoga, jogging, going to gym and working out, but, those days are gone for me. And thank goddness, I put too much pressure on myself and the people I was with. The intensity of your eyes make you seem like an "intense" person. I'm looking for "gentle" eyes. But again, like I said before, I'm not in the greatest of shape, and you are looking for old guy that as you say "goes for the 25 year olds".
Good luck in your search, I just started mine, and I'm just hoping some "gentle" eyed woman is looking for someone like me! ;) | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:15:14 AM |
Once you descend into the pit of speculation, waxing philosophical about how men and how women are, you have gone below the sunlit surface where romance frolics and become one of the gloomy denizens whose tan fades to pale, whose once lilting gait slows to a shuffle, and whose songbird merriness has been replaced by an accusatory whine.
Yes, it's the men, those bad, bad, stupid men, not all, but most, and might I add: feh.
I gotta agree with Farceur on this one - attitude is everything! OP, you are a beautiful woman with much to offer a man. We could pick your profile apart for decades trying to figure it out, but it ain't the profile.
I'm speculating that your attitude is showing through in your contacts. Farceur is lyrically warning you that if you descend into the mindset into which you are heading, all will be lost.
It ain't the men, dear. I say: heed his words. Get the sunshine back! All is not lost. | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 8:29:34 AM | | Older men chasing younger women hasn't been my experience. I love sports and participate in all kinds of activities, but absolutely hate working out at a gym. The only reason I ever go is because I meet guys who are the benchmark of physical fitness for the mature male. The fact I am a chunky monkey doesn't seem to deter them in the least. Perhaps my wicked sense of humor overcomes my physical failings. | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:11:12 AM | Chasing younger women! Not this old dude. They move too fast  Seriously though I am not sure why any guy in his fifties wants to date a younger gal for anything more than sex and arm/eye candy. I know they work out from time to time but so do lottery tickets and i am not planning on retiring just cause i purchased one of them either. Personally i will go out with younger women with the understanding up front that we are just going out for fun as friends. anyone i personally would seriously date has to be over forty. otherwise its not gonna work out. ( i can hear steely dan's hey 19 in my head as i type) | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:29:39 AM | A very interesting thread. Age and fitness are relative things. For instance, I have yet to meet the 20 something who can perform an "L" seat on his fingertips... at almost 52, I can hold that pose for longer now than when I was a Marine at 20 yrs. old. Attitude and confidence are 'everything' in the realm of 'projecting attractiveness'.
I suggest you stick to your guns :) You may never find the "ideal" someone you seek, but in the 'end' you can say you never lowered your standards nor expectations.
And wouldn't you agree, it's more important to find 'exactly' what you seek than it is to be happily involved and enjoying friendship w/like minded people of any age? Apparently, so.
Good luck, Stagecoachred! | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:37:25 AM | Personally I find a fit older woman very attractive. If a woman in her 50s is squared-away enough to keep herself in shape, that gives insight into other areas of her personality. I keep in shape because I have to for the job. Not sure I'd work this hard if I didn't have to, but who knows?
That's not to say my head doesn't turn when I see an attractive young female, but my general impression is anyone under 30 is just too high-maintenance. Just my opinion. | |
|
| |
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:45:30 AM |
Yes, it is a guy thing. The majority of men over 55 are not attracted to women over 55. They are only attracted to 21 year olds who are a perfect 10.
What a load of ......
Older fit men are interested in women that can participate in their lifestyle, and the thought of running around with a 20 year old, no matter how nice, is to me totally bizarre. Even if you are a fit old geezer, you simply do not have the energy to keep up the pace of a 20 year old, and you certainly don't have any desire to listen to their theories on life and relationships. Its hard enough listening to the silly perspectives on life that you find on these forums.
As to men being born without brain cells that need love and companionship, I just wonder why the vast majority of us spend our lives with close female companions. The unattached gang are the ones in the minority, and they spend all their time looking for partners, both men and women.
If you are unattached, its because today you want to be. Its because you have preferences, desires, wants and needs that are more important to you than that of having a partner in your life. Its because you reject the myriad of offers made to you daily by others seeking a partner. Its because you want something you have decided that you have not found yet. Its because your requirements are more important to you than is having a relationship.
All of that is really just fine, but it has nothing whatsoever to do with other people or how their brain works.....
| |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 9:49:03 AM | I hold to the same view as Silken Fire
I am a great admirer of those who have the self-discipline and determination to keep themselves physically fit as you have obviously done OP.
However, I do not believe that being physically fit precludes what Silken Fire calls "spiritual fitness".
Open up your age range OP, and go for both!! | |
|
| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/5/2009 10:16:41 AM | ^^^^^^^
People who are physically fit are very often also spiritually fit. You are taking care of the body you were given, treating it as your temple.
Now I know there are some people who take care of their bodies just for the sake of vanity, but there are others who do indeed believe in the Mind*Body*Soul*Spirit Connection.
OP, you look great and I still think you should go younger. | |
|
Home
login 
