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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/6/2009 5:49:50 PM | Well, sonny boy, life isn't that perfect. No one really knows how their life will turn out, and neither do you.
Some of us were married, and did not choose to stay in a bad marriage. Most of us worked on the marriage, but when the other partner doesn't, you can't force it.
I have been guessed for being in my thirties, twice in my twenties. I have had no plastic surgery. I am not an old lady. I had someone tell me to stay in college, so I don't feel old.
I find most of the men my age look very old, so why you would paint it as all in favor of the men is odd. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:58:00 PM | Honestly OP I'd say that some men would be intimidated by your looks and those same men I doubt are looking at the younger women either...
You remind me to get to the gym thanks for the nudge...
tele.... you are trolling big time.. slinging insults at women of all ages... those poor unfortunate young women who've passed you by due to wanting the bad boy has done a number on your psyche.. you sound bitter over it... or rather throwing a tantrum over it... but I do sort of like the analogy of aging like milk. unless of course it's cheese.... my luck it will be cottage cheese... great... that explains alot... | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:18:39 PM | I do take satisfaction when I see these aging "former hotties" who turned down the nice guys for jerks. ...As the looks fade they wake up and guys just arent paying attention to them anymore? Lol. I find that so rewarding. I love seeing all these profiles from these aging "former hotties" that say "Where are all the good men??". Lol! You know where all the good men are dear? You said no to them. Remember? You said no to the guy in the library who worked up the courage to ask you out. You said no to the guy who wanted you to marry him and fall in love with him. You made fun of the nice guy who brought you the flowers at work. What a loser. You laughed with your friends at him. Right? Meanwhile they complained about how much of a jerk thier boyfriend is and why they can't " get a nice guy". Ha! Now they are 40 and single. I like seeing THOSE kinds of women in their perdiciment. I find that so rewarding.
This is really weird stuff for a 27 year old to say. Very strange. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:01:35 PM |
I do take satisfaction when I see these aging "former hotties" who turned down the nice guys for jerks.
Ok, Bud. I think I understand where you're coming from, but you're being rather caustic in your presentation. You might wanna re-think that. Negative karma always has a way of catching-up.
I was one of those always-over-looked-guys when I was younger (I got 20 years on you). However, I always knew that what I had to offer a woman would become more valuable as I, and she, aged.
I always knew that, after an attractive woman had been jerked around by the pretty boys and players several times, a man of sincere integrity would start looking pretty damn good to them.
I have been completely correct in my prediction.
I gotta think that there are a lot of women that feel the same about men, in a reverse gender experience.
[The best senario is when two "over-looked" meet each other now. Sparks fly!]
It is, just the way it is. But, IMHO, there is no need to blame people for doing what works for them when it works for them.
Hell, if I looked like Brad Pitt, I too would love to be making a mint just for the blessing of genetics! 
just a few thoughts, no worries! | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 1:30:41 AM |
Usually if a man of over 50 is single, there is a very valid reason"
Maybe the reason is that they got divorced? And maybe their reasons were valid?
Physical attraction and keeping fit goes a loooooong way to getting someone's interest, and perhaps your ability to attract younger men is also a reason for why men in their, ah, middle ages (also physically fit) are also able to attract younger women?
BUT, once you get beyond physical fitness, there are other things that work to increase the interest of one for another. Maybe, just maybe, interest in life, values, interests, hobbies, etc. also work to generate an interest beyond an initial meeting?
Other posters suggestion that you increase the age range in the number of people who can contact you might help.
Chronological age is such a poor measure for where one is, physically and mentally (look at Tina Turner --- zoweee!!!! ) There are women in excess of my age range that leave me wondering whether I can keep up with them! And, I can bench press more than my grandmother's weight.
Good Luck! and Peace. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 2:13:39 AM |
This is really weird stuff for a 27 year old to say. Very strange.
I agree... somebody has some rather serious issues going on for himself and I rather doubt that he is the young hottie he is trying to appear to be...
I do take satisfaction when I see these aging "former hotties" who turned down the nice guys for jerks. You know what I'm talking about. As the looks fade they wake up and guys just arent paying attention to them anymore? Lol. I find that so rewarding. I love seeing all these profiles from these aging "former hotties" that say "Where are all the good men??". Lol! You know where all the good men are dear? You said no to them. Remember? You said no to the guy in the library who worked up the courage to ask you out. You said no to the guy who wanted you to marry him and fall in love with him. You made fun of the nice guy who brought you the flowers at work. What a loser. You laughed with your friends at him. Right? Meanwhile they complained about how much of a jerk thier boyfriend is and why they can't " get a nice guy". Ha! Now they are 40 and single. I like seeing THOSE kinds of women in their perdiciment. I find that so rewarding..
The fact that you "take satisfaction when I see these aging "former hotties" who turned down the nice guys for jerks" says a lot about YOU and your rather limited understanding about the fact that even hotties are women who were likely raised to have "compassion" for the guys you perceive as "jerks". Are you aware that most of those "hotties" were likely given baby dolls, nurse's medical aid kits and tiny dish sets to feed their imaginary families with from the time they could sit up in their own cribs?? Are you aware that most of these "jerks" come with BIG "somebody done me wrong" stories that feed off of women's natural tendency to be compassionate??? Do you REALLY think that most women who are now in their 40's and 50's were that patently cruel as to laugh at someone who brought them flowers or cared about them???
You're either someone who has only given about 30 seconds of thought to the "hotties/bad boy" issues or you're someone caught up in the "malestrom [sic]" (read maelstrom) of feeling nothing but contempt for people who choose to be caring. Sounds rather troubling and narcissistic to me and if that's the case, I feel damn sorry for you. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:47:30 AM | This is directed at our cyber friend - "telekinetic242" -----And he just goes on and on and on, digging in further, and just when you think has reached the bottom of the pit, - he pulls out an even bigger shovel!!
Young "man" - and I use the term loosely! - You are 27, and unable to find a match without going onto a dating website. You have so many theories and ideas about how we should all be feeling, looking, and dating at our ripe old age. Have you ever stopped to wonder why you are alone? Perhaps some of what comes out of your head should be duct taped inside your mouth. Why we are even giving you a forum to spew such ridiculous bull-#$@%^&!! here is probably a testament to how tolerant we "old" girls really are in dealing with "men".
When we were your age, most of us went into relationships with open minds and hearts and became attached to less verbal men than you. Some of us found out right away we had made mistakes and some of us found out later after sticking it out for over 20 years. Unfortunately for us, there were no dating sites to go to where we could do a proper interview and make our selections. I want to give huge cudos to the creator of this website, and thank him for the thousands of women who have probably clicked onto this young mans profile and decided that he was not worth the investment of a coffee date to end up like one of my "older, sadder, less-valued, botoxed, skin rejuvinated, and lonely older female counterparts".
Young man, please keep in constant touch with all of us, because I can't wait to see how your life turns out. Believe me - you may have a high IQ - (Well maybe not), and a high level of confidence, but it takes much more than that to find someone who will put up with your crap when you are older in life. You should really start working on your own personality, and put away all of your rather moronic views of how the rest of us have lived our lives and evolved. You are still a little boy, who hasn't learned to keep his mouth shut when the big people are talking. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:55:47 AM | So, - This is to all of my peers on this thread. I have enjoyed hearing from all of you. How about all of "us old girls" - make a pact to meet on a beach somewhere next year and show the "young boys" - just what aged beef looks like! Not sure where we would all be coming from, but I am sure there is some place central that we could converge on. We could call it the FUJIMA Convention - 1st Annual.
F---
U
Jack
I'm
Mighty
Awesome
Don't worry if any little boys with little minds hear about it and try to kick sand in our faces on the beach. I am a competitive body-builder and can bench press their girlfriends.
Hugs to All
Suzy | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:01:13 AM |
You said no to the guy who wanted you to marry him and fall in love with him.
You cant get someone to fall in love with you. It either happens, or it does not. Wishing never works. I am not going to look back on some guy who liked me and wish I had taken him up on it. Thats pretty dumb. I didnt want him for a reason, my aging wont change that. In fact, I have never regretted turning someone away. If it aint right for BOTH of us, it aint right. End of story.
I dont see that many old men with young women. I think they wish they could have them, but reality is, if they are not super rich, they will be lonely unless they realize thier prime days are done and target a more realistic audience. But there is something to be said for aging men versus aging women. We see all our faults when we look into a mirris, whereas the older men I know still see themselves as 20-something. Its pretty cute actually. My dad thought he was still a prize peacock right til the end, and the ladies loved him-all ages.
The good catches always take the longest to find. Stick to your guns, never settle. I would rather feel alone and be all by myself, then to feel lonely within a relationship-that is the worst. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:18:53 AM | telekinetic said:
I see my post got several responses. All you Aging spinsters out there know I'm correct. Should have placed your chips on the right man when the deck was stacked (no pun intended) in your favor.
Hope you still find someone though. If know just as well as I do that if you were married you would not have to go through all these dating stuff anymore.
catsmeoww
You my friend will be here someday as well and enjoying the heck out of it like we are.
thecatsmeoww | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 8:34:24 AM | OP I love the idea of ahem... former hotties... getting together on the beach... sounds fun and I would love to see your little self bench press a young supple body... lmao.... oh the visual....
Honestly I have always dated younger men from the time I was 30 and newly divorced... I do set limits as not to be considered a cougar though and agree with you that looking to find someone on your intellectual, life experienced equal is important. I have friends age range of 33 and up... I get along with most but find someone over 40 is closer to having something in common with me. I enjoy being able to pull out memories and have them have the ability to pull from the same well.... I understand your wanting to date someone your age in other words... your age can be opened up though to add a few years younger....
Reading some of the men's remarks of intimidation towards your physique really should relax us gals who aren't as hard bodied .... I mean thank you guys for coming out and saying that because I can say that I've felt the same way when looking at a hard bodied man in his 50's ....
Yes we age all of us and there are no guarantees that we will marry young and remain so for the rest of our days... events happen that have nothing to do with our choices in mates... things happen because it's part of life... so I guess that is where Tele needs to gain some insight.... and that only happens with age... I will say he is an attractive guy who I've read his profile to try and glean something about who he is... sigh.... my analytical nature. I will cut him slack because I see troubled water there.... | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:46:39 AM |
I think the main thing is not to worry why some men over 50 prefer younger women...people have the right to their preferences and it's fruitless to complain about it.
Cosign!
Seriously, if a guy is wired to only be interested in women a generation younger (or otherwise of a different "type," e.g. thinner, shorter, taller, blonde, whatever), I can't imagine many worse scenarios than him trying to talk himself into professing interest in me because he thinks he "should." ::::::shudder::::::
One of my closest friends is a guy I met online as a prospective match -- and on paper, we sure ARE a perfect match, except he's only attracted to slender women. Luckily I realized that wasn't a choice he was making, or I could have been offended and missed out on a terrific friend. (And had he talked himself into "giving it a chance" just because we hit it off like a house afire, I have NO doubt it would have been a catastrophe.)
I say, just be thankful that the online venue gives us all a chance to get our preferences -- rational and irrational -- out in the open early on.
-- Michelle | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:48:25 AM | OP - I think you've got a fantastic profile and you're a very good looking women. I wonder though, if men that are in their mid 50's and older are somewhat taken back with women body builders. I'm in my 50's and we were brought up not to be lifting weights because we could get bulky like men. Thankfully that is so WRONG! Some men may think it's not a womanly thing to do.
The age restriction is pretty narrow. Expand to to 50 to 62, it could open up more possibilities. Nonetheless, don't let POF be your only venue for meeting men. There's bigger ponds to fish from than POF or even online dating. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:57:46 AM | Right on, dude. I get eyebrows raised every time a woman asks me , "why were you never married"? as if something is wrong with me. There is nothing wrong with me. I'm just very picky (as one should be for a decision such as marriage, a LIFELONG commitment). I am not the one making the stupid decisions.
It's funny, every married guy I know is not happy. They all tell me to stay single. Yet I still want companionship and, of course, sex, so I do date (mostly younger foreign women). I'll marry her if I find the right one. | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:15:26 AM | Believe me, the opposite is also true. As an OTR trucker it is next to imposible to stay fit and trim. I am not ugly, nor am I "old" in personality, and yet I too am snubbed by ladies in my own age bracket.
I believe that you need only look to human nature for the answer to your question.
In the early days of man, when we still lived in actual caves, men had to be tough to live for long. It was survival of the fittest in a real sense. Women not only wanted but actually needed a strong fit man who would be a good provider and protector.
At the same time men not only wanted but needed a young fit woman that could keep up with him as he wandered the land and also bear healthy children.
I believe that these imparatives still reside in our subconscience minds. For some of us this need is stronger then others, but it is still there for all of us.
As for young men being attracted to women older then themselves, I think it can be summed up by a song from the 20s. "I want a girl just like the girl that married dear ol dad". This type of woman brings with her the comfortable feeling of home. Of course the same thing can be said of young ladies that date men old enough to be their fathers.
Then again, there is the money angle. ie... Nicole Smith ... but that didn't really work out too well for her did it?.
This is just my opinion, but there it is for what it's worth.
Mike | |
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| Older fit men shunning older fit women and chasing 25 year olds??? What's with that?
Posted: 6/8/2009 3:55:36 AM | Oh - You misunderstand.
It was an appropriate story to make a point. I have definitely moved on and am "over" him. Staying connected to any bad experience in the past is never a good idea. Too many women (and men) are still sitting around waiting for someone else to tell them how their life is going to turn out. Mine has turned out better than I ever thought possible and I am happier and stronger than I could ever imagine. It would just be nice to share it with someone, and I have no doubt that when it is meant to be, it will happen. I sometimes think I should thank him, because we never truly appreciate the rainbow until after the storm.
Best wishes | |
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