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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 12:48:32 AM | | You are charitable for posting this, and the naysayers can move on. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:52:47 AM | @Reckless Optimist:
Apparently, yours came with that horrible looking wig. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:31:43 AM | ^^ ^
Ouch.
Reckless O, My youngest has curls like that; (though he's strawberry blonde too). Bane of his existence (he's 16); but for the first 12 years of his life every adult came up to him and had to touch his hair... most of the time now he keeps it cut really short but if he goes awhile without it it looks exactly like that; nice to see someone comfortable with something that is distinctive. and individual like that instead of trying to hide it, fade into the background or be typical :) More power to you :)
Peace :) | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:49:13 AM |
Why do y'all have to be so harsh?
This is POF where all of the ___ get brave and vent out their angers and frustrations at life and on the nearest decent people. Or they get terribly over the top at someone who maybe mildly voiced their opinion that is contra to what they think.
Then they turn around and insult them to the max until they go to banned camp.
I think some need their meds adjusted.
Keep posting and just ignore the monsters on here. Have fun and we like to hear new and fresh opinions. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 11:07:35 AM | People randomly changing all the time, it has nothing to do with wearing a* mask* it is the action and interaction and the big factor is the familiarity to each other. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 1:17:56 PM | As she stands on center stage, the crowd throws roses at her feet. Her performance earlier as ass kisser was the real show stopper. Before she takes a bow, she throws one last kiss to the audience. She turns and walks off the stage, confident that her fans will continue to speak of how the role of ass kisser was played so well and will be remembered for years to come........
Alone in her dressing room, the wig comes off and she places it back on the styrofoam head that sits on top of her vanity table. She begins to apply cold cream and starts to wipe off the 'mask' that she wore all evening....... | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 4:17:53 PM | Does this mean I'm putting on a façade for each of them? No... what it means is that I respond to the environment I'm in just as the majority of the population responds to their environments. What kind of façade is acceptable when you’re dating, in a relationship, or married? These are the situations I’m saying we need to remove that mask. Obviously some things need to be hidden in our day to day lives. If I pulled out my free spirit at work I would be out on my ass.
Who is to say that the truth of us isn’t a compilation of all the different personalities we don in different social environments?
Have fun and we like to hear new and fresh opinions. Interesting statement coming from a newb herself...
Makes one wonder who all is wearing masks around here doesn't it? | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 4:30:05 PM | Kind of an ironic subject, is it not? The wearing of masks on a site where we all make up usernames. Some even change them or have multiple ones. Right, Daisy?
You said a mouth full there brother, What is it fake profile week and may I just add, banned camp must be pretty full and TONS-O-FUN. I wonder if anyone will come out alive. I say keep them there.
Back on topic, I have often said, I am who I am even when no one is looking. I think some people do indeed wear masks, said differently are phony.
On the other hand, as my good friend PSSSST points out, we all have many facets to our personaility and often the environment dictates how we conduct ourselves.
I will say this, the person that I post as is the person that I am. I don't post to impress anyone or to gain favor with anyone, it is who I am. I don't feel the need to wear a mask, simply because I am proud of who I am. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:40:13 PM | @Reckless Optimist:
Apparently, yours came with that horrible looking wig.
thank god thats the difference between you and I.
at least I can take my mask off. . | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:58:54 PM | I don't feel the need to wear a mask, simply because I am proud of who I am.
I think a lot of people are missing the point I’m making. Wearing the mask or having a “persona” is not something we consciously do. It’s a series of unintentional, sub-conscious impressions we try to make of ourselves. Granted there are people out there that are 99% the same person after 3 months as they were the first day you met them. These are the people that really do know who they are and are not fooling themselves There are also a lot of people that don’t really know who they are or hide from the truth. Time reveals them and I think on average it takes about 3 months to get to know someone pretty good. I say this because I’ve seen both with myself and many people I know, relationships that don’t work out last approximately 3 months.
Who is to say that the truth of us isn’t a compilation of all the different personalities
I agree we are different people in different situations and in different environments. My point is that the compilation of personalities that we are and the compilation of personalities that we would describe as who we are and the compilation of personalities that we wear when putting our best foot forward are all different to different degrees for everybody.
Of course there is also the mask that we put on others, the way we want/wish them to be and again time and familiarity eventually erode both our own persona and the persona we’ve hung over them and the persona that person wears too.
I think I've finally gone cross-eyed lol. This is complicated but we're describing our descriptions of life's interactions and they are complicated. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/6/2009 7:39:24 PM | | Here is an idea don't be a fake loser and be who you are. If you don't like who you are then change who you are as much as you can, and accept that all people have thier short comings. If you see other people as having it all then you are easily fooled. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 7:15:16 AM | OP, the one thing I can tell you with absolute clarity is who I am.
Like most humans, I am multi-faceted. I know my strengths and I know my weaknesses and I am honest about both. I won't apologize for not being perfect, nor will I lie to make someone like me because if I did, I would not like myself very much.
I think when people try and be something they are not, it is a huge sign of insecurity. I also think when people sink to the lows of creating fake profiles, lying about their appearance and using one another as the sharpest knife in the drawer to prove their self worth, that says a lot about them as a person and their character or lack their of. And sometimes it also speaks to their mental stability or lack there of.
For me the definition of "wearing a mask" is the same as "being a phoney." Now, being a multi-faceted person, who will authentically show you who they are warts and all while being true to themselves is a very different thing, that is called being REAL. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 7:49:52 AM | well, there are the thick masks of disguise, that many wear to do end runs around others', these people are mostly caught in the illusion of 'we are what other's think we are', or , they are using them for some ego based personal gain. These are the mechanical people of the world.
There are the very very thin masks, that we sometimes wear...or must....in work situations , or other situations that are not harmful, but there nevertheless to help us get through the day without starting needless confrontations.
We've all worn masks at some time....(c'mon) if we are honest...this is the part about being fallible and human, as one poster describes. But, we only do the real harm to ourselves when we do that. I've done it at times....not to zoom anyone, but because, last time I checked, I am simply human, a human who sometimes has it right, and other times blunders unwittingly.
All of it eventually comes together when we peel down to bare skin, and once again realize, that the most important accomplishment we could 'shoot' for in this life, is to just be authentic. Authentic to the point of realizing, that no matter who we are, someone will be ready to judge, or point, or ostracize you, and that's ok. It's actually a good measure of where you are at in your evolution. does it matter. ? No.....not one bit.
After all is said and done, after all of the mistakes have been counted, I do believe that we are all simply humans (with mostly good intentions) on a grand search to be authentic to ourselves.
Every misstep in my life, every time I have blundered, and /or hurt someone unwittingly....or even wittingly but not in total awareness of it.....It is like a hammer to the head reminding me to simply get back to baseline...to what I am really hoping will coalesce some day into the best gift of all
......to recognize what hasn't worked, to continue to work on what does work, and to just live the life of Free without collateral damage to anyone..or anything.
We are not Gods, we never will be, and we all need to give ourselves big points in our thirst for getting closer to what the real meaning of our lives as blips on this screen really mean.
If we dare to interact with other humans, there will sometimes be judgment and harsh treatment/reality. It is paramount to separate that from our work....vs. their work.
Then.......
Pray, accept, forgive
Not all humans will like you, not all will accept you when you are just 'you'. but yet, many will. For me, the 'way' has gotten extremely simple.....spend time in authenticity with those who actually accept you for that. If change, conflict, or micro analyzing occurs.,,,you are free to walk away, 'after' you both learn the lesson.
regards
Kimbo**************************** | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 8:34:02 AM | Fawk that!!!! I don't want to see what lurks behind the mask. If we knew what people REALLY thought about in their dark little minds.... We would stay in our tiny abodes..... with the shades tightly drawn..... playing on the computer day after day. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 8:39:39 AM |
For me the definition of "wearing a mask" is the same as "being a phoney." Now, being a multi-faceted person, who will authentically show you who they are warts and all while being true to themselves is a very different thing, that is called being REAL. This is exactly what I meant in my posts to this thread. MizBex is simply more succinct than I am in describing our complex nature.
well, there are the thick masks of disguise, that many wear to do end runs around others', these people are mostly caught in the illusion of 'we are what other's think we are', or , they are using them for some ego based personal gain. This would be the huge lies of substance…
There are the very very thin masks, that we sometimes wear...or must....in work situations , or other situations that are not harmful, but there nevertheless to help us get through the day without starting needless confrontations. These would be the more minor lies… but lies nonetheless.
Lies are harmful regardless of the magnitude or venue that they are brought into… so while I might not always be politically correct at work, I’m real. If I do something nice for someone, it’s not forced or contrived and at the same time, if you’ve pyssed me off… well, you’ll hear about it very clearly.
I have no time in my life for someone that contrives a part of their personality and thinks that it’s acceptable. I honestly don’t know anyone that does want this kind of daytime soap drama brought into their lives.
We've all worn masks at some time....(c'mon) if we are honest...this is the part about being fallible and human, as one poster describes. I disagree. My closest friends would describe me as hot tempered and opinionated. This is seen by anyone that is around me for any significant amount of time and they aren’t very sterling traits. I don’t hide me from others… it’s only when a person is insecure in their being accepted by another person that they feel they need to don a mask in order to be part of the group. I’m not a needy person that looks for acceptance from my surroundings.
I’m truly at peace with myself and I value those that accept me for the person I am rather than the person they think I might be… it’s like being a cubic zircon and desperately wanting to be the diamond that sparkles more brightly.
Every misstep in my life, every time I have blundered, and /or hurt someone unwittingly....or even wittingly but not in total awareness of it.....It is like a hammer to the head reminding me to simply get back to baseline...to what I am really hoping will coalesce some day into the best gift of all I think this truly outlines the difference. I will be the first to apologize for unintentional errors… but I will never apologize for the reactions I have to their actions. My words and actions are then deliberate and to apologize would be to be untrue to myself.
The unintentional errors are generally miscommunications. Very few and very far between and not to be confused with the times that a person has pyssed me off and I’ve taken them to task for it… for that, I will not apologize nor make excuses as my words and actions are deliberate. To try to pass them off as a misstep is laughable…
As humans, flaws, faults and all… the biggest flaw is when someone tries to absolve themselves of their actions and reactions based on human frailty. It is a deliberate action to put on that mask and to deceive others… no amount of poetic prose or flowery words can justify this deliberate action.
Cheers… | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:01:17 AM | These would be the more minor lies… but lies nonetheless.
Lies are harmful regardless of the magnitude or venue that they are brought into… so while I might not always be politically correct at work, I’m real. If I do something nice for someone, it’s not forced or contrived and at the same time, if you’ve pyssed me off… well, you’ll hear about it very clearly.
PSSSST, me and you darlin, me and you.
I have to say, wait let me think, OK that's right I don't recall ever having to lie, use people or sell my "friends" down the river to get through my day, or be fake or be phoney. I can say honestly in my heart that all of my intentions are deliberate and well thought out. And like PSSST, if you tick me off you most certainly will hear about it.
I think part of the problem is this, when people in this life do wear a mask and are not of good and real intent and then are called on the carpet for their insincerity, they run because the have no idea how to deal with REAL life or the person they really are which is why they feel the need to wear a mask in the first place.
True authenticity involves integrity. The ability to be true to yourself, without intentionally hurting others or simply doing what feels good for you without out considering what damage you might be causing to others.
I recently read a book about authenticity which was recommended to me by someone who simply wears a mask of authenticity and when I quoted a passage regarding forgiveness to him, he had no idea what I was talking about and once again showed me what a fake he is.
I am sure there are many people in this world who will accept fakes and phonies, I cannot. Perhaps that makes me narrow minded, or perhaps that makes me very down to earth and authentic, truly authentic. All I know is this, if you don't have the courage to show the world the real you, you are nothing but a coward.
Edit: I also have no desire in my life to accept or forgive someone who causes others intentional damage simply because this person is only doing what feels good for him.
I will however, pray for his soul. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:28:40 AM | OP, without getting into all the Psy #101 in why things happen let me give you a little tip without getting cross-eyed in figuring it all out with your Dr. Jeckel-Mr. Hyde theory.
We all live in a society that is based on truth and honesty and when we find fault we try to make it right. And in a relationship is no different,we all have our flaws and are not perfect yet if there is this common bond of love and respect for each other, you chances are better in a happy union.
When one or the other step out to lie,cheat,deceive, etc the truth and honesty is violated.
Yet we all have to still believe in people who are honest and truthful and still knowing that not all people are. Your word and actions is your bond and look for the folks who live in such a way that you would be comfortable with too.
For me the definition of "wearing a mask" is the same as "being a phoney." Now, being a multi-faceted person, who will authentically show you who they are warts and all while being true to themselves is a very different thing, that is called being REAL.
Finally, someone who expressed them self quite well and to the point without the gobbly- goop! Miz!
The only two people I trusted in my life who were mask's,
were 'the Lone Ranger and Zorro! | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:47:24 AM | I have to say, wait let me think, OK that's right I don't recall ever having to lie, use people or sell my "friends" down the river to get through my day, or be fake or be phoney. I can say honestly in my heart that all of my intentions are deliberate and well thought out. And like PSSST, if you tick me off you most certainly will hear about it.
Agree on the former 1,000%. I defend friends, detest hypocrisy, untruth, detest anyone using people and I am who I am. I don't do anything deliberate though in most of my actions; I act as I am; I don't think about it. When someone shares with me, I listen. When I work, I think. When I do training; I find where they are coming from and meet them from their comfort zone so they can absorb the most information; when I do activities, I do with all my might. It is instinctual.
But where i am deliberate, and this is not being inauthentic, it is being respectful; is how I let someone know if they "tick me off".
I don't assume that it is intentional, I don't assume they meant to do anything. People don't know when they cross soemone's boundaries sometimes (other times they do; so I'm not saying this is always the case).
And if they have no idea they did something nor how I took it, assuming they meant to cause offense or hurt and blowing them out of the water can make them hyper defensive, upset, startled or closed. I give them the benefit of the doubt and let them know respectfully and quietly how I perceived what they did or said. If they stand by it then, then i can choose to do what I will. But I don't "go after someone" at the offense as a sign of being authentic. I do purposefully scale it back, because I want to make sure that it does not blow into conflict or a breakdown in communication, especially because so many times it is a misunderstanding, and they did not mean it the way I took it, or vice versa.
I don't see that as a mask; I see that as a way of effectively keeping dialogue going while still allowing myself a voice (and if they do the same to me, I listen respectfully and look internally to see if their perception is valid or if they are misunderstanding what I am saying).
I don't honestly see this as a mask; and assume that only those who "let it fly" are being genuine.
There is a difference between honesty, and in your face reactions. They both have words, both share feelings, but one takes into account whether I want my feelings to be listened to or at least heard, or shrank away from as hostile and attacking
in my very humble opinion.
Peace. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:55:15 AM |
As humans, flaws, faults and all… the biggest flaw is when someone tries to absolve themselves of their actions and reactions based on human frailty. It is a deliberate action to put on that mask and to deceive others… no amount of poetic prose or flowery words can justify this deliberate action.
amen pssst! I agree with you is when one blows smoke up my yazooo for their actions and self forgives them self as if the devil made me do it, is a bit much.
Fortunately for us as in the truth and knowing the difference, then it get a little too deep , all I can say is,let's not BS the BS'ers ! Have a nice day.
Now let me go to sit in the conner for awhile in what I just said! Nice post p | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 9:58:33 AM | I believe you missed the point of my post which was we are different people to everyone we meet in life… this isn’t a mask, its human nature. You mistook my words as meaning that I am putting on a façade in various situations when in fact I clearly stated that it is NOT a façade – simply another facet of our dynamic and complex personalities.
If you have to explain to someone the simple fact that at times you "can't" let it all hang out, then there's really no point in discussing it with that person any longer.
They're simply too myopic to understand that it's not a "mask" when you refrain from swearing like a truck driver around children or your grandparents, or in a meeting.
You don't paint your face and bring a 6 pack and an airhorn to a wedding to celebrate the nuptials.
And you don't pull up to your date's house on your muddy motocross bike to take her to a 5 star restaurant (there's no passenger foot pegs on a motocross bike...)
Be GLAD that people are multi faceted (ie: wear masks).
Sheeesh... | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 11:22:25 AM | When I feel like I have been beating my head against a wall I stop and think and try to look at the situation from the other persons perspective. To do that I must learn about them and in the POF environment it means reading their profile and previous posts on the forums.
Imagine my surprise when I found exactly what I’m talking about on the profile of the person who has crudely dismissed my thoughts as BS and poppy-cock.
<div class="quote"> I choose to see the good in people
<div class="quote"> I really respond to warmth, and someone who is kind, and doesn't feel he is above others or is judgmental
Assuming you are looking for someone who has similar values to yourself I find that non-judgmental requirement perplexing due to the amount of judgment you passed on the woman drinking the cran/vodka and the married man who sat beside you.
Did you see the woman’s itinerary? Can you be sure she has not just gotten on a connecting flight from the other side of the world so that 8 am for you is actually 8pm for her? ( I do love the judgmental faces people make when I order my alcohol on an early morning flight after working a 12 hour night shift. They are so sure that I have a problem because I'm drinking so early in the morning.)
Are you psychic? Were you able to read the mind of the married man who sat down beside you and know all of his thoughts, interests and intentions? Because it is totally absurd for anyone to attempt polite conversation with the person they will be sitting beside for a few hours. Complete silence and absolutely no acknowledgement of the others existence is what everybody does and anybody doing anything else is after something, most certainly trying to get you in the sack while his wife and kids are not around.
While I have just pointed out how your “good impression” differs from who you actually are by using your own words, I’m betting you will defend yourself saying the judgments were for humors purpose only.
<div class="quote"> OP, the one thing I can tell you with absolute clarity is who I am.
Really? I am confused. How did you see the good in the vodka/cran woman or the married man?
The intentional deceit, dishonesty, lies and two timing are a small part of what I am talking about and really I wanted to keep that type of persona/mask as nothing more than a footnote because it is obviously wrong. I would not waste peoples time on these forums with such obvious observations.
The persona/mask that I am really trying to discuss is the one that I pointed out in that profile, the subtle differences between who we think we are; which can be seen easily when trying to make a good impression on somebody, and the person who we really are when we are in fact just being ourselves.
This doesn’t mean that to have a mask/persona on means you are nefarious, and if that is your definition of it then I say TUFF TITTIES, it is my thread and I have already defined it for the purpose of this thread! :P
Although I will concede and apologize because I have probably not done a good job of explaining the definition, so here it is straight from the horse’s mouth.
<div class="quote"> The persona
The persona represents your public image. The word is, obviously, related to the word person and personality, and comes from a Latin word for mask. So the persona is the mask you put on before you show yourself to the outside world. Although it begins as an archetype, by the time we are finished realizing it, it is the part of us most distant from the collective unconscious.
At its best, it is just the "good impression" we all wish to present as we fill the roles society requires of us. But, of course, it can also be the "false impression" we use to manipulate people's opinions and behaviors. And, at its worst, it can be mistaken, even by ourselves, for our true nature: Sometimes we believe we really are what we pretend to be! Dr. C. George Boeree, Professor of Psychology, Shippensburg University
The whole point I am trying to make with this thread is only in regards to relationships. That point would be don’t bother with the good impression. Try to be exactly as you would when no one is looking or when you are with your closest friends/family. Acting any other way presents a somewhat false impression of yourself and eventually the truth comes out and it is at that point that many relationships go south because one person realizes the person they liked is not the person standing in front of them.
46&2 | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:53:51 PM | Gosh Random, I am not sure how I became your example for the day, but hey whatever floats your boat or canoe maybe?
My profile is based on actual fact, the events actually took place, were you there? Were you the one kicking my seat? Did I pass judgement or did I tell a story of actual events as they happened.
You have taken it upon yourself to use me as your example so let me take the time to explain somethings to you. I am a smart ass, yep you can see it in my profile and in my daily life, what I think of someone drinking at 8:00 am is really not the issue or the married man who is staring down my shirt, while removing his wedding band. Are you implying that I wear a mask because I didn't deck him one when in fact maybe I just choose my battles wisely? You call that a mask? I call that good decision making while on-board an airplane. Although, he was certainly clear on my displeasure with his line of questioning by the end of our flight. So much for your mask theory.
Sometimes in this life, we as humans unwillingly and unknowingly hurt one another. It simply happens, whether it be due to circumstances of the situation or people having different emotions, people make mistakes, to err is human.
The kind of Mask I am talking about is when people go into situations with malicious intent. With intent to do harm, knowing and willing with the intent to hurt people, yet posing as an authentic good hearted loving person. That is the mask I am talking about, those people who for whatever reason only do what is best for them and what is best for their personal gain and hey in the mean time if they kick up a little $hit well that just makes it more fun for them, now doesn't it. I am taking about people who wear a mask to cover their malicious intentions.
I really do try and see the good in almost everyone and you know I normally find it. But every now and then, I run into someone who shows me that they are not good and they take off their mask and show me their very ugly reality, which you know I agree with you, I wish they would have shown me from the very beginning instead of slipping their mask on, people who wittingly hurt people for sport. Every action you take, you deliberately take with intention, those people who are completely aware of the hurt they are causing yet still do it for their own personal gain and amusement. All while wearing a mask to cover their real ugly intentions. And they just keep on showing their ugliness, until no mask can ever cover it again. | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 4:42:47 PM | I assumed and hoped that you're profile was based on actual fact. Do not take me using you as an example as any sort of attack against you. I wished to point out that we all personify ourselves to some degree and we don't realize it.
I will concede I'm wrong about the married man, I wasn't aware he slyly tried to hide his wedding band. However I think you can admit that you were passing some judgment on the cran/vodka women. (Again 8:14 am) or whatever time is correct. Even if it was only for the sake of a laugh. You're not actually coming right out and saying it, but I think you are implying that having a drink that earlier is not good or right (in effect you're finding the bad not the good). Had I seen the same scenario my first thought would not have been "drinking this early in the day, well I never!" It would have been, there's someone who doesn't do well on flights and that is how they deal with it.
Now we obviously run in different social levels, had I been flying first class I would have been too overwhelmed and in awe to have notice everything you did and you know your own environment better than I do. (Although when the little brat **stard started kicking the seat I probably would have thought "wow I can barely feel that compared to the seats in coach!")
I don't doubt that you do try to see the good in everybody, but I do believe that we all slip behind a mask without realizing it from time to time. I'm raising the question of why don't we remove it (or perhaps even "how do we check if we are wearing it") when dating and I can admit that I too am not always the person I think I am. I try to catch those moments and work on them. I'm not saying these are moments of purposefully trying to harm someone, just idiosyncrasies of who I am. (wow can't believe I spelled that correct on the first try)
I am talking about is when people go into situations with malicious intent
There are people that do this, but I think they are a very small percentage of the population, killers, con-men and other criminals would be them. I think the vast majority of people that hurt us don't purposefully set out to harm us, they just don't care if they do in their pursuit of what they want. Having known quite a few male players in my day I can say that even they do regret their actions and the hurt that they have caused, yet they don't do anything about it and let the behavior continue until they grow the hell up.
Imagine if the players didn't wear their thick masks, male and female players alike could find their counterparts and the rest of us would not be strewn all over the place in their wake. Imagine if we could be comfortable enough with ourselves to not have barriers such as masks and walls. Imagine if we looked inward enough to see the differences between what we project and what we are, no matter how slight they are, imagine how the world would be.
46&2 | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:18:27 PM |
Imagine my surprise when I found exactly what I’m talking about on the profile of the person who has crudely dismissed my thoughts as BS and poppy-cock.
Know why they`re doing it?
I do :) | |
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| Take off the mask
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:23:27 PM | There are people that do this, but I think they are a very small percentage of the population, killers, con-men and other criminals would be them. I think the vast majority of people that hurt us don't purposefully set out to harm us, they just don't care if they do in their pursuit of what they want. Having known quite a few male players in my day I can say that even they do regret their actions and the hurt that they have caused, yet they don't do anything about it and let the behavior continue until they grow the hell up.
Imagine if the players didn't wear their thick masks, male and female players alike could find their counterparts and the rest of us would not be strewn all over the place in their wake. Imagine if we could be comfortable enough with ourselves to not have barriers such as masks and walls. Imagine if we looked inward enough to see the differences between what we project and what we are, no matter how slight they are, imagine how the world would be.
Random, in my heart and this may be naive, but in my heart I truly believe that 99% of people are good or at the very least they want to be good. I have only ever ran into one person who had "malicious intent" toward me. Someone who built a friendship with me over a few years, someone who I admired and respected for a very long time and when it came down to being real, it was anything but real. I think what hurt more than anything was that he pretended to be my friend, to actually care about me and my well-being not as a romantic interest but as a person and sadly that was all a lie too. When I called him on it, I cannot begin to tell you all of the awful things that were said and done, and he even used other women like me who had respected him and admire him to come after me, he had his own little gang of stooges that he used. Which hurt me, but he also hurt them, yes they participated but they believed him just like I did and did his dirty work for him. That is until one of his stooges caught on and spilled the beans to me about exactly what he was doing. To see it in writing from her was something else and I still shake my head at how stupid I was but you know, I made a very bad choice and I am to blame as well.
Random, I agree with you, I do wish all of the players in the world would take their masks of and find their counterparts I really do. I think if all of us were forced to show our real selves, our "authentic" selves, the world would be a much better place. I think people would be more willing to trust and move forward in relationships. I think if everyone was honest about who they really are they world would be a much better place. | |
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