|
|
|
|
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:25:42 PM | | Hmm well I'll let my parents, aunts, uncles and everyone else I know that have endured long term (meaning longer than either you or I have been on the planet) know that the sixty plus years that began with two virgins and a promise, was a lie. Yeah, I'll do that HA! | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:40:04 PM | Aries Looking, RE: MESSAGE 100
I agree with you.
It's nice to know that some people agree that living together to see if you're compatible is bullshit.......it is just a way for people to fcuk and when they tire of each other it's real conveinent to say that it just didn't work out and good-bye. Alot of people take the short cuts and do the watered down versions of a true committed relationship to avoid life. Funny thing is they really think they're truly giving themselves over to each other but living together is a great way to hold back on giving yourself over. Anything less than marriage is a big stupid freakin game. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:48:24 PM | Surveys and stats in general are tainted by personal opinion before the questions are even asked. Having worked on these types of projects in the past, I can tell you that questions are arranged and qualified in order to achieve a certain result. The interest of the group posting the results is likely the culprit.
Still, there are exceptions to every rule and every statistic.
What would be very interesting to me is to know whether or not those posting in this discussion are from 'broken homes' (divorced or single parent households OR unahppily married parents) and the corresponding opinions about marriage vs. living together that result. I think that matters as much for a couple as anything in either one of their personalities. Where we come from is where we are, as they say.
Having had the example of parents married two months shy of 60 yrs, and I did say example (meaning leading by example), I feel that imitation is the greatest form of flattery. The same could be said for 'living together' as it does tend to 'imitate' what our society considers normal for a couple.
Spend fifteen minutes speaking to anyone you know married more than forty years, and it will surprise you what you learn about 'relationships'. It is soo not about the things in these profiles! It is soo not about whether or not they had sex before marriage. Ask em & find out. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 6:56:37 PM | I realize it's your opinion and such but
why would I cheapen it or him in anyway. I don't consider when I co-habitated as cheapening him/myself or the relationship (of 30 years and a wonderful daughter) in any capacity. Love is love..Devotion is Devotion. A marriage certificate did not make it superior, in anyway and since we lived together AND eventually married.. I've had a sample of both dynamics.
To the poster who lamented about waiting before marriage before consumating the union.. My parents were married for 60 years before my mother passed away.. No! Neither one of them were virgins when they married. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:04:30 PM | | renovationist as I said, the only man I lived with was my ex husband. We only lived together prior to getting married because of problems with where I was living prior to our marriage. I do know we lived together for a couple months prior to our marriage, but we were engaged. I don't feel living together caused any problems in our marriage. It makes no logical sense to me that someone, anyone living together prior to their marriage could cause any problems. I think that the addition of marriage can help to keep a couple together, but I don't think living together prior to marriage causes any problems in a marriage. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:26:22 PM | hi,
I think that if they understand together and sense together , it does not matter whether live together or not.
the most important factor is mutual trust !. it means that they have 2 body with one spirit.
it is a real meaning of love.,
Amir | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:44:26 PM |
What would be very interesting to me is to know whether or not those posting in this discussion are from 'broken homes' (divorced or single parent households OR unahppily married parents) and the corresponding opinions about marriage vs. living together that result. I think that matters as much for a couple as anything in either one of their personalities. Where we come from is where we are, as they say.
Two parents who celebrate their 52nd this year, grandparents (fathers side) I'm not sure of the exact #, but at least 60yrs. (Mothers side grandparents I think about 50, but he died when I was a young child, so I didn't really know them to the depth I did my fathers side - fathers side grandmother died in my 20's, grandfather in my 30's).
My brother (married 20 years now, 2 kids) yes, had sex and lived together before marriage (although, it was also both their "first cohabitation" as well) - they are still in love. Will it be "until death do us part" - hell, I dunno, I'd like to think so, but nothing is certain in life.
My sister (never married) on the other hand has had dysfunctional relationships her entire life, and never lived with a guy until recently, her BF moved in with her - at age 50. Wants to marry him "so she'll get his social security if something happens" - ok, I won't say what *I* think about that...  She's my sister, no matter what I think of her choices.
Personally, I *do* believe marriage should be "until death do us part". And I've met a couple of women I've wanted that with, and *thank God* I didn't. And yes, I've "cohabitated", and quite honestly I'm glad we did, because while it got me cheated on, walked out on, lied to, etc... it kept me from a big mistake. Expectations/conflict come out when living together, just as they will when you get married, many of the same expectations in fact, between both.
I will say, though, that I think the "model" our parents gave of a successful *relationship* (a marriage is a relationship, just the reverse isn't necessarily true), there are many things I *didn't* learn from them. For example, conflict resolution - in 45 years (ok, 45 next month) on this planet, I don't recall my parents *ever* having a shouting/yelling argument, or really *any* real argument (vs. respectful disagreement and talking it out), I've had to develop those "skills" on my own (I'm hopefully better than I was 20 years ago, although I still am uncomfortable with it - confrontation leads to defensiveness and generally 'broken' communication).
The "role model" my parents set, as well, consisted of the "housewife" and the "breadwinner" - typical of the age they grew up in and were married in. It would be exceptionally difficult, in this economic day and age, to "imitate" that - to say that "what works for them will work for you" is erroneous. What has kept my parents together this long is that they are best friends, communicate rather than fight... their *personalities* basically. Fidelity, communication, and commitment to each other. That's what I seek in a relationship... But you can have that without marriage just as easily as with - some people will always lack that. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:52:14 PM | renovationist as I said, the only man I lived with was my ex husband.
I'm sorry if you felt my comments were directed at you. I'll have to go back and read your original post. I certainly don't disagree with you (cuz I wouldn't know what I would be disagreeing with at the moment! lol)
Funny thing about opinions... | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:00:40 PM | Exactly. But my point, which I didn't make very clearly, is that I think people's opinions about marriage and what works is different in people who come from single parent/divorced parents. I don't doubt that people can have deeply meaningful relationships and not be married. I did that myself for a very long time. What I read in most of these posts though, is a true disdain for marriage and living together as an option. I guess that was the basis of my curiousity.
As for your comment about your parents never yelling, etc. I can completely relate to that, as mine didn't either. I asked my dad once why that was and his comment was (I find it completely freakin profound too!): "it's better to be loved than to be right." | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:32:20 PM | | Well the only sure way to find out if two people are compatible after getting to know each other and falling in love is to move in together and put your love to the test. If you truly love that person living together would be like the cherry on top of your relationship and you will learn more about each other the longer you guys live together. If you choose not to move in with the person you live you might be dragging on a relationship that might have a chance of being nothing when you move in. Moving in is a steeping stone in a way to see if when two people actually come together can STAY together. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:50:38 PM | [Yep and we refer to that as the "honeymoon phase". Once that wears off, you'll either still be at it like bunnies and life will be grand, or one (or both) will "turn the taps" off. Sounds to me like at that point, they either better figure out the "why" behind the lack of sexual activity or time to hit the eject button on the relationship.]
This isn't logical and anyone who's been in a long term relationship knows it isn't black and white, you're either sexually 'there' or not. SOME people maybe, but not all. MOST couples, I would dare say, 'settle in' to a comfort zone in their sex lives just like other parts of their life together. Just because they don't hump ___ times a day like they did at first, doesn't mean their sex life is dead. It might just mean that they've found what works for both of them and are comfortable having sex ___ times a week instead of ___ times a day. Nothing in a partnership is black and white. If there's no compromise and give and take, there's no relationship. Most couples obviously don't have sex as often as the honeymoon stage, but most thinking breathing intelligent people know better than to build a relationship strictly around sex anyway!
The new wears off of everything, doesn't mean it's discarded completely, sheesh! lol | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/6/2009 10:52:28 PM | What I read in most of these posts though, is a true disdain for marriage and living together as an option. I guess that was the basis of my curiousity.
Hmm, because I didn't read many of the posts in here as a "disdain for marriage" at all, in fact most of the posts "pro-cohabitation" seem to point at "living together before you get married" (ie, marriage is the "ultimate goal").
I personally, especially if there are no kids involved, don't really care if people choose to "just live together" (ie, no marriage plans) or not. Everyone has their own personal views, and its not my place to judge - as long as its mutual between the two parties.
What bugs me is the OP, not that he isn't entitled to his belief, but that he seems to be stuck in trying to convince the rest of us that "living together before marriage" is going to destroy the marriage, using 20 year old statistics (and not even that, using ones that twist words comparing "unions" and "marriages", etc). I mean, statistically, toss a coin - heads you'll stay married, tails wind up divorced (50/50), if those are your chances why on earth get married? Even *if* we buy into the assumption that your chances are "less" if you've lived together (which apparently at least 1/2 the people here don't) - the whole point of marriage is two people (regardless of whether they've lived together prior or not) who are committed to the relationship, right? So the OP's argument *must* be, in essence, that people who live together prior to marriage are somehow "less committed" to making it work than those who marry w/o living together first, even though both are making the commitment to marriage. I'm not sure *I* buy that argument, personally, but if the OP does then that's decision - doesn't affect me or my views either way.
Arguably, given the divorce rate, 1/2 the people who marry aren't all that committed anyways. Then again, people change, people make mistakes, marry too young or too quickly... human nature being what it is, I doubt that will ever change. Heck, look at the 'fantasies' we are fed - women are going to get married with the white dress, have 'her day', marry her 'knight in shining armor' at the altar, and live happily ever after. Being raised in a middle-class family, loving parents, nice house, quite honestly I had the 'fantasy' of the "white picket fence", house, loving wife, 2 kids, pet(s), never argue... in essence, both are "fall in love, live happily ever after" fantasies. Its a great *goal*, don't get me wrong, but not overly realistic?
Isn't it really about who has the "better tools" to deal with conflict, etc, in the relationship? Its a curious thing to me sometimes to hear statistics that "more 2nd marriages fail than first ones" - because one would hope that even in that situation you've learned about yourself, and have those "better tools" from the experience. But, arguably then we could say that a larger percentage of those people are more likely to "blame the other person", and thus not see that their own "toolkit" is also lacking? And, to me anyways, it seems that those who have lived together - with the intent of getting married (regardless of whether they split w/o marrying - a good thing for the divorce statistics), would be entering the marriage with better tools for making it work with the person they've already had a close (living together) relationship with. I can't say, other than I take 50/50 blame for my relationships ending (well, maybe 60/40 for the one that cheated on me, but I can't/won't blame it all on her), and hopefully my own 'toolkit' is more robust for the experience.
edit: Per you last post, yes, its never "black & white". But I will say that reading a lot of posts/profiles here on POF, there are a lot of people *I'd* never want to date, because they espouse such black & white views. God, the whole "you must have sex on the Nth date, or forget it" thing bothers me... sounds too much like an ultimatum to me, and ultimatums have *NO* place in a healthy relationship. Ultimatums are a sign of "its all about what I want, who cares what you want". May as well just end it there. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:13:41 AM | If you read back a few pages, there are a few examples, where the words "stupid", moron, etc. are used in reference to people who choose to simply marry and skip the trial run.
You hit the nail on the head on the tools thing, in my opinion.
I hate stats like this because they feed or program people to believe something is true when it's not. When my two girls were in high school several years ago, one came home in tears one day because they 'learned' at school the stats about how kids would turn out if raised without a father figure in the home. PFFT. My oldest daughter was straight A's and a better kid than most families (with two parents). She's now a successful beautiful mom, wife, sister, daughter, as if I ever doubted what she could be. Had we all listened to the stats though, at least one of my two daughters should have done drugs, wrecked a car, been caught shoplifting, or worse before age 18 LOL.
Just goes to show...
Anyway, I wish the OP and all the people posting here nothing but love and light. We all have opinions and it's nice we can come here and share them. May we all find what we need and want in our lives :) | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:47:42 AM | | I believe that the reason many relationships fail when living together before marriage is because those people weren't right for each other. I would much rather find this out before marrying the person than afterwards. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 12:54:03 AM |
Problem is they want to live together before marriage. You don't, knowing that living together is a sure fire way to wreck even the best relationship. What do you?
I do not follow your trend of thought and/or your belief system. If you are certain you want them in your life, how living together before marriage would 'become a sure fire way to wreck anything'. It' s probably you early programming that could fathom such 'strange idea'. I do not believe in marriage. Marriage does not mean 'forever', it only indicates a level of commitment to someone at a certain time, but things can change in time, and a piece of document would not dictate the 'fate of a relationship'. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 2:30:42 AM | | I would say the real question is why are there so many married and living togehter relations breaking up - at any stage in and any 'form' of relation. To say a relation surely break up in living together before a marriage almost seems to include it is not breaking up after being married. Reality shows that is not true. Couples split after every kind and any time of relation very often. So the question is why are people not able to come in to a good relation and to keep continuing a once good relation. When a religious reason could prevent somebody to live together before marriage this person needs to have a relation with someone who thinks the same way otherwise it is a failure from te start. But having the same religious point of view also is no kind of garantee for a continuing good relation. That is not an opinion, that is a fact of reality | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 3:10:42 AM | I would say the real question is why are there so many married and living togehter relations breaking up - at any stage in and any 'form' of relation. To say a relation surely break up in living together before a marriage almost seems to include it is not breaking up after being married. Reality shows that is not true. Couples split after every kind and any time of relation very often.
Exactly why most here, and me definitely, shun the "statistics" the OP tosses around.
As soon as I find stats where someone quotes, for example, a NSFH survey that says "unions begun by cohabitation" (which, on the NSFH site itself, "unions" include relationships where they *never marry*), vs. "first marriages" (and note that lack of "first" on those unions), its an apples-to-oranges comparison, totally worthless as a comparison of "divorce rates", and it makes me wonder what the motivation behind such obvious manipulation of statistics is, what they are trying to 'hide' (ie, is the reality that cohabitation has no impact, or even *decreases* divorce, but that doesn't serve "their side"?). Someone is obviously using them to "prove their point" (by what is effectively a blatant lie) - hoping to "snow over" people who lack the critical thinking ability to question it and research the facts for themselves.
As to why couples (married or not) split... while it might be interesting to see *real* statistics of reasons, I'm not sure it would ever be accurate. I mean, ask both sides of a couple, and you're likely to get different responses, each blaming the other, with the truth probably somewhere in the middle - and that I'm sure has been going on since the dawn of time. I'm sure for the most part it boils down to the basics, issues around money, fidelity (cheating), addiction, or simple self-centered "expectations" and lack of working together as a couple (I'm sure there's others). Had my share of all of those in my relationships, which I would assume most of us have if you've hit "middle age". Most of us know the issues - and we could say that you didn't get to know the person well enough ('honeymoon phase' blinders on) or they just changed over time, but reality is being in the relationship is always our choice. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say. You hopefully don't have to learn the stove is hot by burning your hand on it, but you've probably learned it after. Yet in relationships, many make the same mistakes over and over again, choosing the same type of people, refusing to look at ourselves and our own part in it, yet expecting different results. Whats that the definition of again? | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 4:34:01 AM | Renovationist, living together goes far beyond sex.
I would think two people who decide to live together already have had sex.
Living together is simply a way to see if two people can STAND each other on a day to day basis and do everything required in marriage without regret (including giving up certain freedoms and escape the "me" mentality of singlehood) and be happy.
I did it once and in a month I knew......she started berating me on a habitual basis which she did not do before. She would mutter to herself as she left the room. She would make comments about me to others. She would write notes criticizing me and leave them for me.
She was even harder on my daughter.
Had we married first, I guarantee it would have been a divorce.
Living together is a way of finding out what the person is really like and if you even WANT to work on it....and sex? After a month, I didn't even want to touch her.
I believe in marriage........but it is ridiculous to stay in a horrible situation and tinker with it to try and make it tolerable.
I would only recommend marriage first if the two people NEVER intend to live together!!! As crazy as that sounds. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:08:59 AM | Hi Timothy
It is good to know that some men in the USA believe that way.Here in Sweden I heard of and know cases of people who lived together over 25 years and become they lived together and not married they left the next day without warning. People who live together are on better behavior here because they know the can just walk out. Many men or woman
had said to me that being married would change their behavior. Of course there are exceptional to the rules. I personally believe in not living together and have seen in most cases the woman come out worst | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 5:16:01 AM | OP
Your initial logic is flawed, your studies have been proven to be old...and you've not come back with newer, more cohesive and current "studies". Is it because you can't find any?
I know many couples who lived together and have stayed together. One of the best, and an inspiration to me, is my aunt and uncle. They lived together for almost 10 yrs. They got married when he had a minor heart attack and realized that she might lose the things they built together AND that HE wanted to be married to the woman he loved. My aunt had been fine with life as is--they were so compatible that they obviously belonged together. It ended this past January when he died of a sudden, massive heart attack. More than 25 yrs together I believe. Yes...living together for them sucked.
Before you go throwing out stats and old assumptions, make sure you've got something to back it up with or the POF'ers are gonna fry you like a piece of catfish my friend.
Oh...and my thoughts? I'd live with a man FIRST. I don't consider living together a "test drive" of anything. It takes real commitment to do that--and for those who think it's an easy out, there's still a lot of mental anguish involved if the other person DOES leave. And in some states (hello...palimony anyone?) live together long enough you've gotta pay up anyway.
If you think that living with someone first will cause you to divorce faster...explain why so many "young" marriages end up in divorce so soon anyway? They have no clue about each other. Did he know that she had a dark mustache and waxed that puppy? Did she know that he like to eat Cheetos in bed late at night while watching sports zone or whatever? Did he know she couldn't eat ice cream without horrible stomach issues that would make ones hair fall out? Did she know that he had foot fungus so bad that he had to use 3 creams to kill it? I can't imagine marrying a guy and seeing his nightly foot fungus routine and wondering WTF did I get into??? Or him having to be witness to a "stomach issue" wondering why for the love of all that's holy does she not have matches, candles, spray or something? I use silly stuff but those things aren't so silly when they're discovered after marriage are they? Those are things that could potentially help put a hole in that marriage balloon.
I have a friend who, God love her, is the female 40 yr old virgin. She dated someone horribly wrong for 10 yrs, thinking she'd prove everyone wrong cause he'd marry her--eventually. Thank GOD that didn't happen. Now she's dating a man and has this "we can't get married for 5 yrs cause we won't know one another" thing going on. I asked her how realistic does she think this really is--simply because if they aren't going to live together, don't sleep together, don't spend the night with one another--does she think she's going to REALLY know him after 5 yrs or just know the him he's showing her? Oh and she's never lived with anyone BUT her parents...can you imagine what's going to happen there?
Everyone changes when they close the door to their place and are alone. Some people sit and eat naked. Some people are clean freaks to the point of OCD. Some people are slobs and don't care. Wouldn't you rather know this before the I dos are said than after? | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:00:22 AM | I'd think I'd know if someone had OCD before I even decided I'd be with them.
I did go out with a man on one date and he had a hand-washing fetish. In the restaurant he went at least 10 times to the washroom to wash his hands. He noticed my side-ways look at him after the 5th time he went and told me that he had a nervous habit that made him want to wash his hands. He apologized profusely.
Anyway...if you are with the person for a decent amount of time ( I am talking about at least a year), you have found out most of the personality quirks. If they pick at their chin whiskers. If you love that person, the waxed mustache is no biggie.
If you really want studies...lol...just look at Western Culture overall and it's broken family lifestyle for the past generation. Funny..how it's been that Baby Boomer generation that made "living together" so vogue.
It is a reality. No idealism there. Can't fudge facts there.
I will say it again. It is knowing the concept of what marriage is really about that makes it work. I have had a few friends who's marriages are entering the 35-40 year mark tell me some of the reasons why they have lasted. Dedication and committment are big. Communication and respect is very big.
The other thing? They have all encountered obstacles, challenges and tests in their marriages and have had the love and devotion to the marriage to work it out.
Marriage Encounters, Marriage Renewal camps have also helped them.
One couple was on their way to divorce until they went to a Marriage Encounter week and learned what marriage was really about. It is not about me, I, and myself.
If you meet some person that is all about him/her, their terms and their needs and you live together with them ...it will crash. If you enter a live-in relationship with someone with the expectations of it might fail... It will fail.
So...if you are not of the proper mindset for marriage, then do not get married.
That's what it is about. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:04:59 AM | ^^^^^^^^
As someone who's separate (you), do you think that living together would have helped your marriage stay intact? I'm not asking to be mean, I'm asking because I see you are passionate about marriage vs cohabitation. It's an honest question and again, I'm not throwing stones, I'm very curious about your thoughts. | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:24:00 AM | I will say it again. It is knowing the concept of what marriage is really about that makes it work. I have had a few friends who's marriages are entering the 35-40 year mark tell me some of the reasons why they have lasted. Dedication and committment are big. Communication and respect is very big.
So, we can presume then, because you are separated, that you don't have the concept of "what marriage is all about that makes it work", and you weren't "dedicated and committed", didn't "communicate and respect" your spouse in your now separated marriage?
Or, wait, let me guess... *YOU* had all of those things, and he didn't, right? Which would beg the question - why did you marry him if he didn't or you didn't?
Marriage Encounters, Marriage Renewal camps have also helped them.
How did they work out for your marriage? Why are you here on a dating site, separated and headed for divorce, if you have all the answers to what makes a marriage successful?
If you really want studies...lol...just look at Western Culture overall and it's broken family lifestyle for the past generation. Funny..how it's been that Baby Boomer generation that made "living together" so vogue.
And, hey, I could suggest that its all because of "women's lib" from the 60's, changing the Western Culture in which you and I were raised. Of course, I might get plastered by the POF women on that, but I'm realistic - "Western Culture" went through some *dramatic* changes from the 60's on, and I doubt very much we can (or should) "put the genie back in the bottle". So, instead of trying to stay "stuck" in what worked in the 50's, maybe we should be looking at how we make things work in the current culture?
If you meet some person that is all about him/her, their terms and their needs and you live together with them ...it will crash. If you enter a live-in relationship with someone with the expectations of it might fail... It will fail.
Been in the former, yup, it didn't work. Good thing I found out when they moved in with me (after 3+ years of dating, not living together) rather than jumping into marriage, and becoming another of that "50% divorce rate". Never been in the latter, because I wouldn't live with someone with expectations it would fail - why bother? No, I'd have to guess that most people don't live together expecting it to fail...
So...if you are not of the proper mindset for marriage, then do not get married.
And if you are not in the proper mindset to handle living with someone you supposedly are "committed" to, do not get married. If you can't handle living with them without marriage, how are you going to handle living with them *with* marriage? | |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:41:29 AM | I have made it clear that living together before marriage makes NOT ONE IOTA of difference to whether it works out or not....IF you don't understand the concept of marriage.
That is my stance.
Marriage is the ceremony of the vows of committment. Our lives are all full of ceremonies in various degrees. Funny that people put more into the ceremony of "Divorce Parties" than the actual important ceremony in the first place.
Western Culture dissing something that should be good.
As for living together. We didn't... and we had a long and good marriage. We came to an obstacle and I couldn't get past it. He broke an essential vow of our marriage and I had to consider my trusting of him. It was broken. When there is no trust in a relationship, how can it even work again?
We didn't go to a Marriage Encounter week. Maybe I should've done that.
It's over now.
| |
|
| Would you live with someone you want to marry?
Posted: 6/7/2009 6:56:09 AM | Definitely! This is a sure way of knowing if you are comfortable with each other. Most of the times men and women are on their best behavior during courtship:), however, their true colors will come out later. Although, I am a straight forward person, it is not always the case in everyone. Although my late husband and I agreed not to get married when we met 25 years ago, we got married 15 months after meeting each other. We lived together starting the day we met. With me moving in one shirt at a time so to speak.lol
What led to the marriage? We got along so well, we found no reason not to get married. If I followed the so called "Dating Rules" i would have missed on 20 years of bliss and happiness with him.
This is only my opinion ladies and gentlemen. Take your chances. There is no guarantee for happiness.... | |
|
|
| Page 5 of 11
|
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 |
|
Home
login 
