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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:41:49 PM |
once he knew what I did for a living started asking me if I had any fantasies about my work.
maybe he just wanted you to play school teacher with him as the student ... not that kinky of a fantacy
but I find more dads seem to do it than moms do.
more dads get accused of IT than moms do ....hell hath no fury like a woman scorned | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:52:03 PM | once he knew what I did for a living started asking me if I had any fantasies about my work.
maybe he just wanted you to play school teacher with him as the student ... not that kinky of a fantacy
Doesn't matter - when they begin to ask me sexual questions about my relationships with my students I take that very seriously and to me is the equivalent of a cold shower. If he was just being an idiot then maybe he'll figure that out and next time learn what boundaries are.  | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 4:48:28 PM | -The sexual offenders list started out as a good idea, however it got watered down with waaaay to many offenders, and no line drawn, the list is just too big for anyone to thoroughally keep track of the really evil individuals .
If you have tracked any of the recent high profile cases you know most of those sick individuals, (some registered, some didn't, and did it stop any of them? or even slow them down) -hell no!
the sex offender list needs to be concentrated down to those preditors that come after our children. how can one case worker keep track of 600 preditors especially when 575 of them were doing something stupid and not of evil intention?
-(adults can take care of themselves -buy a gun, learn to shoot! .357 works better than 911)
let law enforcement concentrate on hard core sex criminals only, like child molesters, nothing else...
Scary we should have to worry about creeps who use the flawed system to their advantage, eyeballing our children in parks or wal-mart etc... | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:25:32 PM | "if your child gets molested it YOUR fault, not the molester because you put your child in that situation..."
Scary stuff without a qualifyer. So a burglar breaks in, handcuffs you and molests your child - that makes YOU a sex offender? I would have called you a victim, but on this site people don't like that word...
Even sexual harrassment puts you on the list? Man, you look at one boob too long and you are a regular Michael Jackson. That is scary, too, because harrassment is largely defined by how it is perceived. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:36:23 PM | I haven't read all but I will.
Personally I'm fine with sex offenders being on POF or on any dating site. I don't care. I figure they have rights just as well and somebody will find them worthy to date.
That's because just like universal precautions for washing your hands and treating everyone like they have a disease, you should use universal dating sense and treat everyone like a potential criminal or sex offender - meaning use discretion about who you date and introduce to your kids, pay attention to things said or done that don't feel right to you, pay attention to your gut instinct, and when things get serious don't have a problem doing a background check when you want too or need too.
There are PLENTY of men out here that have abused children or have the potential too but have not been arrested or on the sex offenders lists. Of those children who have been abused sexually or otherwise, those who tell it to criminal authorities are less than 50%. With 25% of girls and about 18% of boys getting sexually abuse, those numbers do not represent the number of people going to jail for those crimes. Many are out on the street with no criminal convictions of sexual battery or assault of any kind. So how you can be sure about ANYONE? Just use your gut sense and do what you need to do. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:15:03 PM | You know what pissed me off? Some biatch (two of them actually) had the nerve to call my husband a pedophile. I started dating him when I was 16 and he was 22. Technically it was statutory rape, which they could have pointed out and I would have agreed with. But he is NOT and never was a pedo. Not all statutory rapist are pedophiles but all true pedo's may be statutory rapists. I had a good civil relationship with women - but after they said that it pissed me off so much I couldn't even stand the thought of talking to them anymore. It just hurt me. It hurt me deeper than what I care to say.
Funny. That's the first time I felt a need to mention what someone said about the husband. Before I thought to write that, I would have agreed with the more severe sentiments said on her about those on the sexual offender's list. I have very little acceptance and tolerance for those who sexually abuse children and don't really care about how severe their punishment can be. But when you have a different experience that touches on this - it gives a chance to see the other side of things and maybe change your mind just a little.
I agree with the men that the term is thrown around too loosely and casually and that men have it a bit harder when it comes to the term and the thought of being a pedo and a sexual offender. My husband could have undeservedly IMO been on that list - casting all doubt and negativity his way from other women, community, and society. I can see him serving time for statutory rape if my family wanted to press charges like that, but they didn't and I'm glad about that. And so he never got charged and never made that list. We have had a near 20 year exclusive relationship. They often tell me how surprise they are at this since they thought I would initially have had several serial relationships with several men's kids. Shows what type of goals my family had for me huh? 
Maybe... just maybe... depending on the circumstances and conviction - a person on the sex offenders lists should be taken off after a time if he had no more convictions of a sexual nature. Seems a little unfair that some men and boys can make this list for these type of indiscretions... well at least in my former SO's case so that makes me a little sympathetic to other cases like this. I think in my state the legal age of consent is 16 but if they have sex with anyone over... 18 I think he can they can charged with statutory rape. But that's my personal situation - and I understand a mother or father who want a man charged with statutory rape for having sex with her underage child. Hell I would want to do that too. But my focus with that is more on my children and making them aware and feel loved, worthy, and appreciated so that they would not want to find and have sex with a man, boy, girl or woman at an early age. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 6:44:01 PM |
A guy is 19, he meets a girl 16...but looks 20. I understand what you are getting at but I hate when a guy says ‘but I thought she was older because she looked older’ – makes no difference. You are still responsible for your actions and you should be held responsible for dating or having sex with a minor no matter how old you thought she was or what she told you.
I agree that male sexual offenders get a harder time than female sexual offenders. I don’t like it and find it totally unfair. To take that step a further, if you pretty, young, and a white woman – and the tender object of your affections is a black boy or a minority, may be let off the lightest sentence yet. White women are always seen and tender and fragile victims. Blacks are seen as sexually wonton, lascivious, and a threat to white people – no matter what their age.
In general, this society has a hard time pegging women as sexual offenders because women are often more physically closer to their children than men are. Women are seen as nurturers and not as threats the way men are seen. And this can be a problems for men and boys too because it’s often thought that woman and girls can’t abuse or sexually assault men and boys.
And those who say that the chances of getting molested or abused by a stranger or whomever is small – who the hell told you that?? Many abuse cases go unreported as I said in a earlier posts in this thread. So don’t try to downplay abuse cases by saying the number who abuse is small. The number of convicted cases may be small, but the actual abuse is not. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 7:42:53 PM | "Personally I'm fine with sex offenders being on POF or on any dating site. I don't care. I figure they have rights just as well and somebody will find them worthy to date. "
Ah, yes, but in the New America, "Land of the Free", the old high-school civics notion of offenders "paying their debt to society" is passe. SOME criminals (i.e., those most easily demonized by ambitious politicians, playing tough to credulous and fearful "citizens") get to end up on lists -- forever, apparently. And when you're playing the hysteria card, you can never ever let nuance or a sense of proportion get in the way. You took a leak behind a dumpster when an especially knotheaded cop strolled by? You felt up (fondling!) that girl you were making out with at the school party , who you swore was 17? Too bad! In the New America, you may as well have gone on an honest to god rape spree, because you get to go one "the registry" for life.
You know who **I** worry about? The kind of person who takes time out of his or her day to scan the "sex offender" lists. Hell, back in his day Stalin absolutely **loved** "citizens" like this. Have you nothing better to do? Are you really so fearful of your neighbors?!?
One last point: How come nobody's so exercised about, say, embezzlers, or armed robbers? I don't hear any agitation to put those folks on lifetime registries. It's always sex (**gasp**) offenders -- even though, last time I checked, their recidivism rates were somewhat **lower** than the norm for convicts. Looks to me like, for all the talk about how "liberated" we are, there's as much hysteria and childishness about sex as there ever was. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 8:28:51 PM | One last point: How come nobody's so exercised about, say, embezzlers, or armed robbers? I don't hear any agitation to put those folks on lifetime registries. It's always sex (**gasp**) offenders -- even though, last time I checked, their recidivism rates were somewhat **lower** than the norm for convicts. Looks to me like, for all the talk about how "liberated" we are, there's as much hysteria and childishness about sex as there ever was.
Good point. And you gotta love these people who want the death penalty, torture, castration, banishment, etc. for sex offenders. As mentally disturbed and immoral as sex criminals are, I think those who advocate these kinds of punishments are far more so. It's mind boggling to me that anyone can equate non-homicidal crimes with capital punishment. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/27/2009 9:05:05 PM | | are you the sex offender police? Its your choice not to date one . Its your responsibility to check out your potential dates . as for mine mind your own buisiness I check mine out . My mommy is past on . Im all grown up.who are you to decide who gets on this site. everyone deserves to find love its up to the offenders partner to decide if she wants to deal with him.get a life and stop being a nosey buisy body. | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/28/2009 9:19:07 AM | There is a huge difference between a sexual offender and a predator...
And the labels should be clear and specific..
The poor child in Fl. that was killed. 161 sexual offenders in a 5 mi radius..how many are predators should be the question.
As far as dating sites..Everyone is resposible for the safety and welfare of their own child!!! If your a single parent and go on dates be very wary of who you bring around your child..YOU are ultimatley responsible for your childs well-being and safety!! | |
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| registered sex offenders
Posted: 10/28/2009 12:23:31 PM | | i was watching cnn, there is a case on the news about a 15 year old girl who made a choice to go in the back of the school, and get drunk... with a bunch of young boys, she had sex with them and now she is crying rape, now these poor bouts are being hunted down by the police, there lives are going to be ruined, women need to rake responsability for there behavior, even young girls | |
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