| Enslaved to the System -- "cry of the dove"
Posted: 8/28/2009 6:24:51 AM | It must be nice to cry like a dove
A little "ladylike" high pitched voice
Mine's deep and rough
like my sister and my daddy
I hear their soft cries
Gentle and passed down
From generations of women
Too afraid to steal the crown
Then there's girls like me
Who've cried so much
they no longer make a sound
In the name of sorrow...
Silent tears
flow from my fingertips
But I'll be damned if some soft cry
Will utter from my lips
For those are cries of the past
Now I just smile at the madness
And sit in secret jealousy
Of the girls with softer voices than me | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/28/2009 4:18:54 PM | speaking of soft voices
of all gals I've seen
who make the painful choices
they may dream of meadows soft and green
and young lasses who cry
rivers
until tears run dry
it is so lonely and worrisome
but then tears stream;boo-hoo
on freckled faces of all the little girls who
will experience heartbreak and sorrow
tears today; smiles tomorrow | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/29/2009 3:32:45 PM | Today's smile is tomorrow's smile line
I see the silver poking up
Here and there
I know I'm young
Always feeling as if
I have one more day to set things right
knowing in my soul
That most things can't wait another night
but this thing called love
So many dream of
has made me a fool
unable to use my greatest tool...
my mind
can't find
enough time
to resign
his eyes burning into my heart
and the clamor below when I think of his hair
playing footsie with his lips
as he prances around
swaying hips
showing he may have pontential
but my escapes with him are detrimental...
lustful sins,
the truest pleasure
I've known for quite some time
seems to return
nearly everyday
when his image crosses my mind | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:15:12 PM | always feeling as if
I know I am young
but I've known for quite some time
my escapes with her are detrimental
when those images cross my mind
we all show some potential
and the clamorwhen I think of her raven hair
She sees the silver poking up
the truest pleasure
seems to return nearly every day
but this thing called love
has made many a fool
she dances around,swaying hips
brings a smile to my lips
her eyes burning into my heart
I may have another day ,another night
unable to use my greatest tool
todays smile is tomorrow's smile line
I know in my soul she will be alright | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/29/2009 7:27:53 PM | A joyful refrain
are the tears of a paper thin heart
tenderest moments,whispers in the rain
quiet forboding and a tremulous start
the familiar well worn creases
of two worn thin by time
they aim to satisfy and it pleases
the silvery side of every dime | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/29/2009 9:25:00 PM | Perhaps that is the fault
to a poet's romantic glee
seeking a fire
when you are the water
repetition enslaves the heart
into a maddening song
of pre-set notions
never accepting anything less
as we ache to feel alive
in the arms of a love
who prints only lies... | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/30/2009 12:18:35 AM | I thought he would do
although he wasn't the one
figured I could make it through
and even learn to love
A guy I just didn't trust
with him I was not at ease
reading into psychotic tendencies
I saw them early
and continue to see
That this world is not right
Human is no longer a complementary adjective
rather a detested
cruel and dominating foe
concerned only with continuing the flow
of DNA
damn the bad luck
should have known better
didn't have a clue
but wrote it in a letter
and was right
no need to fight
a married man
a lover of sin
who drug me along
with simple songs
I never knew the words
Nor did I bother to have heard
the signs
although they screamed outloud
I ignored the words | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/30/2009 9:30:04 PM | Sometimes
when I'm in the woods
I like to pretend
I'm an Indian
and perhaps
the only being
who's tread the same path
as the light penetrates the forest floor
random fungi sprouting forth
unfurling its majesty
rubberized squishiness
beneath my bare feet
as I dodge saw briars
and wonder if I might be
the first | |
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| Enslaved to the System -- cry of the dove
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:00:39 PM | The wind comes down from the dark mountain
and speaks to me it tells of a storm
by the way the branches in the forest sway
I think of the animals as my brothers
with the wind, the sky,the earth,and water
I join all things elemental,I am at peace | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 8/31/2009 2:12:21 PM | I have not heard the bell chime
even one time today
Even if I heard it
It didn't bring me dismay
For the wind has been louder
and the scents of ripe fruit
Echo through my heart
as I watch nature creeping into
every aspect of the city
Of course, some people call this the country
but they know nothing
of the medicinal isolation
sitting at the feet
of my mountain. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:55:21 AM | Procrastination
runs deep in my blood
I remember Daddy always running late
I laugh when I see
the papers scattered
In my uncle's car...
My mom was not a procrastinator
she was a dreamer
they dug coal from the branch
to keep warm all winter
Too proud to accept
any form of hand out
my momma went hungry.
She said my aunt would nibble
at a treat of government cheese
Granny borrowed from some neighbor
Aunt Mildred cut it up
My mom gobbled it down
Her twin savored it
and saved...
I suppose I'm a lot like my momma
in that sort of way
My dad's family
is all business
lawyers, archeologists,
American dreams rectified
upon the glory of strong minds
But weak
in their own way
for it's hard
To see clearly
when your mind only knows
what you've experienced
philosophers never seem
to make any kind of sense...
So, I'm scattered
and able
To keep food on my table
I haven't ran out of toilet paper
in going on three years
this may seem like nothing to some
but I've learned to ease my fears
of being meaningless
misunderstood
as long as it is for
the greater good
I will sift through my disorganized chaos
Hoard old shoes
dreaming of art projects
and putting them to use...
Someday my hard working side
and intellectual abilities may come together
until then, I'll call me an artist
The truest passion of the sweetest flower
That blossomed for 17 years
Still burns on today
The love of my momma and daddy
and the life that made them that way. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:55:29 PM | Does anyone really have
One side
they can categorize
Or are they all afraid
To see the tracks made
When you venture forth
Into an abyss
That you cannot feed...
It's only a need
Elating sweet nectar
salt pours from the windows
Into my soul
you've already seen
surely to God
You can't be that mean
As I skip away
Into another night
wondering if
I'll ever get it right
Knowing that
As long as
I have a cue stick in my hand
The frustration will never build
It erupts
I could care less
That that old man
got shot down
I've lost respect
for the drunken mess
that tries as it can
my thigh, his hand
unreal testimony
to the fire within me
as I water it down
with pitchers of beer
laughing
while crying
seeking
yet dying
to experience
this real thing
they all speak about
panties on
in the night
trying to figure it all out | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/2/2009 1:23:53 PM | we don't always find what we seek
but if a message gets out
life is not for the meager and weak
live life without a doubt
seems like the best advice ever given
but to be free of any regret
you have to hole up in a cave
I don't envy the life some lead
but I hope to rest easy in my grave | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/3/2009 3:48:48 AM | There are worlds I'm unaware of...
where fathers and daughters
do not have strong boundaries
lives are melted
the one man a girl should trust
Is nothing but a pedophile.
There are places I've never been...
like in a dark alley with my mom
Her desperately trying to hit my vein
Pumping poison
into my blood
I've never had a life so insane.
No one ever raised me to say "the N word"
Hatred for one's skin
did not exist
However, I always knew better
than to bring a black boy home...
I never had a pair of name brand shoes
Until I turned 15
I never worried about being in style
just as long as the clothes fit me...
I also never said "retard"
I have always helped people
who couldn't help themselves
I did not tease
they are souls like me
and I knew better
before I was born...
So I can't always relate
to these people filled with hate
but I have watched people suffer
and I've been in the gutter
I've seen the girls
who had sex with their father
I've seen the mothers
that shoot up their daughters
And the damn three-year olds
Screaming white power
I smile like the Cheshire Cat
and pause to pick a flower...
As this big world spins
You can't help but grin
and wonder when
I will begin... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/4/2009 9:06:24 AM | I heard myself speak yesterday
unintentional racial slurs
Never understanding
why they must be heard
And fearing that I might
Be no better than the rest
Perhaps that I am seeing it
Is a sign I'm trying my best
To uncoil this spring
Within my mind
Telling me one thing
Yet feeling inside
That my fears are completely
unjustified...
And I heard myself speak
I listened to a respected American
belittle anothers' land
I saw myself being unaware
Of the pain I have caused
And damning every other
Never realizing I am lost
I do not know how to apologize
For something so deep within me
But I never say I'm sorry
Unless it's something I truly mean
And I'm wanting to appreciate
What God's world has to offer
But damn me for staying silent
Damn these words on some piece of paper
That isn't even real
Just a flat blinking screen
Scared to fight yesterday
What I've always failed to be
And wondering what it is
deep inside of me
That makes me question so much
That makes me fail to believe
The shit they've been pushing
Deep into my soul
As I wretch and vomit
Afraid of losing control
Of the one thing I have
But am so afraid to use
The heart God gave me
To stop all of this abuse
I wish that boy
Had told me who
His representatives were
His country counts
even if it's not ours
And that he didn't pains my heart... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/5/2009 5:39:31 AM | Entry for September 04, 2009
why follow patterns
when you can set your own trend
why absorb into nothing
when you can be the end
of the maddening consumerism
that has given us such purpose
rather take a hot bath
in a copper tub
to me that makes much more sense
for they still cost money
but last forever
instead of the next big thing
grab someone who can weather
hard times, false crimes
committed on the heart
long before you bothered to start...
loving
me. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/8/2009 4:17:13 AM | Every morning is the same
Lost in fantasy
Trying to focus on the game
They call it life
But I must admit
I need a wife
to deal with this shit
And I am too damn tired
at the end of the day
to give half a shit
about your trials and dismay
I just want someone
to rub my aching back
Someone to hold me at night
Someone to help me stay on track
But, alas, prude ****es
can't even get
The one-night at a time love
So many seem to lament
So I drink my damn coffee
Prepare for another day
Walk around getting wet as hell
Thinking of his lips
and what they might say
If I were there in his arms
Silly girl spinning out
If I were there in his arms
He gives good massages
no doubt... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:17:46 AM | If she were back in my arms would she be satisfied
to love singularly I have tried
friendship,then love may come for a spell
but something happens,and all goes to hell
so different ways I have chased amore
and always ask myself what the hell for?
Not enough money,too far away
will love true love find me sometime,some day?
maybe it's me after all
too picky ,too petty ,too big, or too small
always looking for perfection
using it as protection,when no body is perfect after all | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/8/2009 9:43:58 PM | No one is perfect, but I won't settle for less
In the blinded confusion of love, it's easy to see the best
I've scoured hundreds of profiles,
and contacted many men
just couldn't really see myself
with any of them
dos hombres tickled my fancy
dos hombres left me plum ancy
from over three years
of dates and emails
dos hombres saw my soul
I was unafraid to show it...
But calloused hearts have no place
discovering my fantasies, receiving a taste
of me at my worst
best, does it matter?
seeing the heart of it all
feeling the hypnotic patter
of a hurried mind against my heart
a sinking feeling when we have to part
But knowing it isn't so
Only twice has it been
Seeking love in a foreign place
Ignoring the presence of a friend
Who by far has earned more in my mind
than those other two fools
but I cannot explain the attraction I need
I cannot explain the tool
I've become
calculated and cold
Time spent on wasted fantasies
Is time that makes me old. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/9/2009 9:22:31 AM | time does make us age
but some age out of their time
what sages call old souls
well passed prime, I still rage
is it a crime to not act your age
without rhyme or reason
I defy clarity and season
I know I am to blame
for love not knowing my name | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/9/2009 10:10:59 AM | But I'll be damned if some soft cry
Will utter from my lips
For those are cries of the past
Now I just smile at the madness
I'll be damned if someone will see weakness
To watch blood flow from my soul
Dark, red, pure...pain
No sound will follow private agony
Strange to consider it a privledge
Maybe an honor to show anything
Other than laughter that is expected
Smiling...again | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/9/2009 3:31:47 PM | As the petals weep
gravity and oxygen playing its role
Plurality of consciousness
drifts me to a time
when I didn't even know enough to care
Sickening images swirl in my fantasies
I attempt one last climax
as if a buzz were ever what I needed
So I sit and crave
darkness with stability
fragile minds
unafraid to find
the satisfaction pureness can reveal | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/9/2009 4:20:25 PM | I read the phrases about the heart
but unable to see between the lines
her loneliness worn like a dress
I think it would be fine
for a whispering mention
to be found on those lips
a fondness deserving attention
never to be mine
a wink,blink or caress
for the lonely places deep in the heart | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/9/2009 5:56:40 PM | Tis better to have loved
than to never loved at all?
Well, if you never fill it up
it never gets to feeling small...
But I'm not skeered
and sit and wait
for a special moment
to sweep me away
in a '66 Mustang
Red w/cream leather seats
I'll know him when I find him
For the car will speak to me :D:D
I hope you are smiling a little
and realize that I find it easier
to communicate dark metaphors
although the wilting roses in my vase
sitting above my computer
a perfectly manufactured wall of pleasure
My son, flags, Indians with feathers
And the bright bouquet
that lit my day
each time I sat
down to chat
with a man I'll never know
but would somehow love to meet
and I write these silly poems
but they aren't always something weak
Sometimes they are resolutions
about loves of yesterday
and the games I must play
In order to protect
My heart
from crying anymore
however I do it
just never quite comes
lumps settle in the pits of my stomach
I spit them out at choir practice....
viva la revolucion | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 9/10/2009 1:22:30 AM | Lumps spat out at choir practice
as you fill your heart with song
How can love that feels so right
turn out to be so wrong?
As I ponder your words
they sound so near
and true to pain
I often feel
Better to have loved and lost?
Sometimes seems a shady deal
Comfort and solace I sometimes find
in pages found in a wastebasket
I hope to achieve
those words I believe
from now until the casket
Life is for living
nothing more
no more mysterious than sands
The devil finds time for idle hands
watching mine as well as the other man's
Enjoy the love you feel
Treat it as it's real
Savor and revel in its reveal
If love proves not true, it is okay
as you might find one day
it to be the last thought you remember
of your journey that began shining bright in May
as it shimmers and dims towards December
To Sarah..I like your thread. I understand your frustration and laughed until I cried at the "40 year old" stuff. | |
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