| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/13/2009 5:20:11 PM | dreaming all night
of open doors in homes
leading to the outside
me being alone
one by one
mistakes came by
stealing a piece of me
forcing me to lie
about their place
in my heart
capturing these memories
and tearing them apart
every inside closet
led to the outside world
every speck of intuition
tossed aside like a stupid girl
who only listens to dreams
wonders what they mean
will I forgive the demons of my night
or suspend my anger to focus light
on waves of black
caressing my mind
shaking my head
washing, praying
doing all the things
I'm supposed to be saying
forgetting to forgive
a foolish tragedy
knowing I made my mark
suddenly satisfies me
oil floating
on an endless sea
rainbows appearing
to comfort me
but I am blind
and cannot see
past the glare of the water
as it hypnotizes me
if the heart and mind
are the true sinners of the world
then I'm damned straight to hell
and there's no hope for this girl. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:42:08 AM | Why must I wake?
When the rain pours down
drops plastered to my window
surely I can sleep
just ten minutes more...
Where is my love?
Why does it seem
everyone else
is falling in and out,
my turn!?
I want to melt into the rain.
I don't want to go to work today
to hell with this Midterm
Can't I do it next week?
I want to crawl back in bed
and go to sleep
but the coffee is perking
so I might as well get
in the shower
only one more morning of this shit... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/18/2009 8:28:46 AM | Surely he will hush today
**** every hour?
I'm going to string him up
by his toes
hang him from the ceiling
and tickle his nose
try to get a chuckle
out of a raging little boy
watching him tantrum
leaves me with little joy
just a neverending
feeling of dread
thinking that one day
I might lose my head
and just pack him up
take him to
that man that pays no money
now what would he do?
If he had a little boy
to look after and feed
if he had some responsibility
would he sympathize with me
and send a twenty
or maybe just ten
get his life together
maybe then
I would not be
so alone
I really love my child
but doing it on my own
makes me want to run away
see another day
where his eyes are bouncing
new sights he's taking in
but the torture has subsided
indeed my angel's crying
has ceased
and once again
the home is at peace... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/18/2009 1:20:42 PM | When I dream of fantasies
lived out in the front yard
when I feel his body sliding over me
when he pushes me a little too hard
When I can't escape
for he's held me down
when i cannot release
for I'm stiffened with sounds
of church bells ringing
angels singing
their voices telling
me to back away
do not seek
this sinful pleasure today
instead close your heart
to the wicked in the world
claim a seat on a righteous path
do not allow him to steal your pearl
So I close it away
remain silent through my days
only occasionally
such pleasures do I seek
and when I do
I am all alone
no one to judge
no one to know
that I'm no better than the rest
although I try my best
this animalistic need
invades me in my sleep
and I awake a calloused monster
craving times when my soul
did not care
wouldn't dare
to listen
to my heart
and I was satisfied every evening
this raging lion within me
did not succumb to earthly needs
only existed naturally...
so I thought
the new natural order
is indeed the most innocent path
but my naivety is challenged
every day while in the bath
and I think of brown skin
thick lips
washing over me
controlling every desire
until I've nothing left to need
so they read this
assume many things
but you know what I'm talking about
and it can never be............. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/18/2009 5:22:55 PM | Held by unseen chains
Can swallow a lifetime indeed
Walk ahead, slowly steady
At your own pace and speed
Know your heart
Listen to its words
Don't tell it want you think it should hear
Quiet down and the whisper will appear
HimynameisSarah, I hope you don't mind me posting here....your writing still moves me, glad to see you are still at it. :0) ~Wind~ | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/20/2009 12:26:23 PM | Post away windy one; good to see you back around...
A poem of reflection...
It amuses him
that I lose so much control
he finds it entertaining
to tamper with an idealistic soul
and when I'm soaked with passion
and aching to feel
something inside me
moderately real
he pushes away
ends the game that we play
and sulks into the abyss
makes me wonder how a kiss
can produce such raw emotion
dripping inside my mind
falling away every morning
just to remember the time
and scolding myself
beating me up
for being so stupid
to think it was love
amazing how
passionate doings
can leave you restless
and maybe even craving
a bite of sugar
from a far away land
where I'm always free to roam
and he never lets go of my hand | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/21/2009 7:15:55 PM | I had a poem creeping up
from my heart
into my eyes
tears began to flow
I silenced the madness
There was this story
not a tale, but a story of a girl
young, married, frightened
there was a baby
and she was a blessing to the couple
they loved her dearly
one day, she was gone
one night, when they woke up
God had shined down
and stolen their fire
The girl prayed
she cried
she begged for one more night
time to go back
memories to relax
and the reality never set in
for a long, long, long, time
She cradled the child's blanket
for weeks
and rocked it
she buried her baby
next to her granny
and planted pretty flowers all around the grave
She begged God for mercy
she tried to get back
to the place she had come from
but the fire was gone
lit no more
she struggled through life
kicking down doors
Time passed
but the event was clear in her mind
a thousand drinks
couldn't take away
the very pain
she felt that day
and she remembered the tube in her throat
how the people thought she'd done something wrong
the call to the preacher
the way the doctor's head did nod
when he told her
the baby was dead
this was her eighteenth birthday
eighteen year olds aren't supposed to feel that way
but she felt it
and still does
every year
like clockwork
the celebratory nature
disappears
and darkness enters
along with tears
that she chokes away
for another day
fuel to write
pain in my eyes
as the image of my angel traces through my mind
I held her as long as I could
I loved her as best I knew how
just never understood
why it had to happen that way
but realizing now
that God has plans beyond the grave
and you have to trust
in His desires
for in reality
He never steals a fire
only gathers their light
to glorify His kingdom
I say this now
but I don't know if I believe me | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/24/2009 2:17:03 PM | So he's doing it
an eye is falling down
uh oh, don't look
but both of them now
a sleepy yawn
black lashes batting
to the tune
of the hound
on a hunt in
The Fox and the Hound...
And he's just like me
thinks he's done grown
a child raising a child
in this sea of the unknown
taking him dancing tonight
therefore he has to nap
gonna go out and have a good time
Gotta shave my legs and take a bath
Just to dance
with a stranger
and be twirled around the room
my baby will laugh and stomp his feet
He will be tickled pink
such a lovely thing to do.
Of course I don't know what I'm doing
so that makes it all the more fun
when you're learning something new
there is much pleasure to be found
and he's tired
but not sleeping
the caterpillar ate the plant
secretly, I adjust the volume
and laugh while his eyes are brought to the brink
of being closed
yet half awake
go to bed boy
so we can stay out a little late :) | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:06:26 PM | The coinstar jingled in the background
Dirty people claiming their receipts
Did you take your pill today dear?
Yes...
This morning and at three?
Yes... now let me tell you something.
I watched her eyes dart beneath
contacts, was that her eye color?
Perhaps the baby blue was intensifying the desperate look on her face.
Two lids thick with black
her mom nearly shorter than she
a swollen face
belly twice the width of her head
and I wondered why I judge so...
We decided to drive to ...
and terminate it
it
like it's an it.
I'm supposed to accept this
I'm supposed to be a homey
but to say so would be a lie
it really does scare me
and the seven year old's body was found
just missing for two days
a woman's crazy boyfriend
another baby
gone
I peer and wonder
if we've ventured so far from purpose
that we can never return
then I wonder
if we were ever there to begin with. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/27/2009 3:30:32 PM | Entry for October 18, 2009
So you want to harden the liquefied portion of my soul
you want me to snap from the pressure
conform to this reality
of empty corridors aching to experience
the majestic slumber
where I'm accepted into the realm
of sanctity, pureness, peace
still this fire, slow the burn
until it spins out of control
ice crystals form
around a heart once eager
to feel the embrace
a heart that fevered
for just one taste...
now cold, frozen shut
away from the norm
paranoia exist
in meandering forms
acting in roles
I'd just as soon forget
drunken explosions
wavering currents
feels good to sleep
unassisted
without dream or regret
waking hours can't be wasted
when you are experiencing
love and patience
through the eyes of a spirit
true and tall
guiding your intentions
disastrous or small
then you fall back down
realize no one is around
to hear these thoughts
as I drift aloft
in the purest of fires
a loving desire
for the calmness of expression | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/29/2009 11:22:47 AM | even when none is around
does not necessarily make a sound
a voice from the wild darkness
it lets you express
your innermost
thoughts on beauty and hate
pure thought is never too late | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/29/2009 12:22:11 PM | Escape more tempting now
than ever before.
What is this I've acquired?
Patience to explore...
How do you do it right?
Which method is preferred?
Years and years of courting
Or quickly igniting passion that stirs
Us to the brink of sanity...
Clumsy actions
hurried fantasies
instant satisfaction
what is it you want of me?
Must I be honest?
Should I tell the truth?
Will you read the message in my eyes
As my heart craves you
within the walls
of a protected jewel?
Will I be able to hide
distract my mind
to the floor
no longer shameless whore
but respected creature
meanwhile,I'm still tense
Does it ever make sense
To forgive, forget, repeat, rinse
Out the taste of bitter love
Replace it with poems from above
that truly inspire
the chords of a fire
I can control
but have no desire...
hoping to fall through
the wall
and break the silence of an arching back, eyes rolled, musk and memories floating away into a sea of comfort and relaxation... no, I've no desire for such elation | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/30/2009 6:56:35 AM | No desire for elation
but desire to be
heard ,loved,held with fascination
by the fire in a few words
what is a picture
long hair ,teasing eyes and empty smiles
for a camel; I'd walk miles
to drink from the cherished well
of inspiration | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 10/30/2009 7:50:49 AM | Who is this mystery man
That taunts me with his words?
Why will he not show his face
to a simple-minded girl...
Simple may be an understatement
But surely you understand my need
To experience first hand
the man who plants such seeds... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/1/2009 2:25:15 PM | As I beg for one more
silent moment within the door
of a room I know well
Of a love made in Hell
Trembling fingers caress a troubled soul
He moves away, I lose control
Why must I try to ease his pain
When in my own life, there's little to gain
from energy spent
on wasted lovers
put my head under the pillow
indeed you can smother
This aching need
burning greed
for something
that's really nothing
so they say | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:42:29 PM | You could really do it
if you put your mind to it
tonight love may fall
down thru layers of black velvet
smoldering embers
the heart reveals what the eyes cannot
too many years stacked
on the face
too many years wasted
on the rat race
to catch
whatever falls
anonymity wins | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/1/2009 7:00:09 PM | I hate black velvet
and riddled lies
I hate not knowing
whether or not your eyes
are blue...
I hate them with small ones
big ones as well
they are so ****ing pointless
when putting me through hell
I'm sick of trying
and never getting it right
I'm sick of pessimistic people
trying to resolve my fights
I'm tired of a dirty house
I'm tired of the blood sucking louse
coming around
just long enough
to get their rocks off
then they're gone...
I hate all religions
I hate all men
I hate most everything
When i'm needing a friend
In the calmest of fashion
it rolls into action
inhale
relieve the stress
exhale and die
you piece of shit...
Oh, fizz, this isn't to you darlin' | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:47:27 AM | Why is it the flowers only bloom
at a certain hour
How can I continue this solitary existence
confused and without power
The real question I suppose
If I wanted to tell the truth
Is why do I bother searching
when all I want is you... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 6:05:57 AM | wanting is the solitary suffering of man
need is just a shade of greed
giving a fraction of an inch
leads to self destruction
time in need of a pinch
teaching not a fortê, I desire instruction
all men/women have dark sides
temptation led to frustration
I rarely get involved in trivialities of human condition
happily ever anonymous | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:38:37 AM | Give an inch
gain a mile
Turn your cheek
and freaking smile
Kill them with kindness
ignore your own needs
Fill their pockets quickly
Allow them to wallow in greed
I'm not scared
to give it all
to a being unworthy
a being so small
that they can't even picture
what I'm truly saying
for only when you're completely out
can you appreciate the offerings
of life
my strife
I don't care if I'm poor
I don't care if they call me a whore
I don't care if my poems bore
I don't care if I need some more
abuse
to feel alive
I will sulk in my own misery
until the day I die
but death will not come to me
in the same forms so many seek
for my death will be a rebirth
and I shall turn over every burden on Earth
to a stranger
lover
fight
this mother
and her lack there of... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 3:19:15 PM | Plenty of greed out there
Lots of others who simply don't know
what it is in their actions they show
imprisoned?
ingrained in life?
who am I to say I know their strife?
simply live at doing your own best
kind to others
a tender heart,
a joyous zest. | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 4:58:44 PM | My own best is complicated and tiresome
No matter how hard I try
I always take the long way around...
I open my heart
to be used and spit on
then quarrel when it happens
all though I know damn well
the results
of such flings
still never stops me
I try to be patient
Indeed love's been absent
for over a year
and it's painfully clear
that I'm so set in my ways
there's no hope today
for love... | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/2/2009 5:47:22 PM | Love.....
Such a powerful word
When you stop to think about it
We each interpret
Love
in our own way
The long way around
sometimes is the only way
to get through a moment
to get through a day.
We don't see sometimes what it is
we are to learn
until the touch of the stove
does tenderly burn.
Have found that my stubborn ways
keeps me from understanding
what love is demanding
I do think that the power above
does look down upon us with love
a love that understands and doesn't forsake
even when the wrong road we do take
Showing us contrasts between the two
gives us a vision
a future, no longer blue
Look for lessons to be learned
Always someone who needs a gentle turn
Heart that grows with each passing word
No longer near, no longer heard | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/3/2009 9:46:12 AM | we are not coins struck from the same mold
we all see different versions of past presidents
we are more like paper currency
as it passes on our DNA with just a touch
each conspiring to gain monetarily
I am not too caught up in the system
fingers tapping anonymously | |
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| Enslaved to the System
Posted: 11/3/2009 2:51:21 PM | People believe what their parents tell them
My political future: I guess Republican...
I'm conservative because
I don't abort my blessings
I'm conservative because
I believe in home-cooking
I'm liberal to the extent
That I see no virtue in judging men...
I also wanna save the whales
every damn last one of them.
But I only identify with that party
because it is the party of my people
and I believe in my heart
that we can all be brought under the same temple
As long as we pray
to whoever may listen
start castrating the **stards
with other intentions
I am so cruel I guess to some
but I really don't think it'd be all that wrong
to remove from the gene-pool the common error of the day
to remove from influence, those of them that forge the way
for corporations to poison us
innocent people to die
they just carry right on
I really don't see why
we can't blow them up
damn I'm getting mean
let me stop this poem
and get back to cooking | |
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