| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 7/12/2009 1:49:47 PM | If I had the time and money, I'd definately "date around" more. As it stands now, I only have the time to go out two or maybe three times a month, and definately only have enough in my budget for one of those dates to be a "spending money" type of date.
So obviously I'm not going to be the date that becomes someone's "the one," and I'm also obviously OK with anyone I'm having those dates with also dating other people. If they're lucky, maybe they'll meet someone they want to date regularly and exclusively. That's happened for a couple of very nice men with whom I've "dated around," and I'm glad for them.
I'll continue to be an interim, occasional "dating around" date for a variety of men, and I don't give two figs for what anyone thinks about it. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/7/2009 7:39:56 PM | A friend of mine espouses a theory, which I tend to agree with, that when people are in their teens or twenties, dating isn't very serious and you can just go out with someone and have fun at a movie or beach or whatever. But when people get older life gets more serious and more compliciated and people start evaluating potential dating candidates in terms of "marriage material" (will this person be able to help raise my kids and pay my mortgage?).
I don't have that kind of baggage, and I also wish it were still possible to "date around" (which doesn't necessarily include promiscuous sex). | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/7/2009 8:44:13 PM |
Overall the practice a little inconsiderate and insulting; as if they’re saying you’re not important enough for me to give you my full attention. . . .Where is the loyalty, the consideration, the respect, even for yourself
I don't owe anything to anyone I'm just dating other than the focus of my time and attention while we are on a date. Goodness! It's supposed to be fun, not a "commitment of all internal resources until something proves otherwise." I treat all people respectfully, but loyalty, to someone I haven't even met yet, perhaps? Or to someone I've only met maybe once or twice and cannot tell yet whether I want more (although by that point I know if the chemistry is there, but chemistry isn't everything!)
It seems to me that there are two ways of looking at it--the "no sex until I figure out if this is someone I might want to be in a relationship with" and the "sex while I'm figuring out if this is someone I want to be in a relationship with ." The first allows for dating around, the second doesn't--because of the health risks of sex, plain and simple. The pitfall of the first method is, well, there's no room for sex. The pitfall of the second is that, the relationship becomes exclusive BEFORE I know if that's really what I want with that person.
Heck, I'm not even dating again yet (although I did date around in my 20s), so I don't have to make any decisions yet, but boy, is this going to be a lot more . . . interesting than I realized! | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:24:40 AM | | I don't know that it is true that people tended, in the 40's, to date multimple people at the same time. However, whether they did or not, it would have been dating without sexual activity or intimacy. Definitely, people in the 40's were not dating and having sex with muliple people at the same time. On the other hand, that would pretty much imply what it would mean today. I think the big difference in considering the question you have posed is the difference in how sexual activity is view between then and now. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/8/2009 10:49:55 AM | " I don't know that it is true that people tended, in the 40's, to date multimple people at the same time. "
I can't speak to the 40's, but all my older sisters were dating in the 50's and they moved from one 'steady' boyfriend to the next until they got to the point of having found the one they married. They did group activities until 'steady'
I do not expect someone dating me to be exclusive with me until such time we agree to being exclusive and having sex. That will take awhile, but I won't set a timer on it. I am fine if they are honest about dating others. If they lie to me about that topic than I am going to anticipate they will lie about that topic in the future, too. That is an area in which lieing is a deal breaker for me.
I will not have sex with someone who is also having sex with anyone else regardless of the protections used. I have no intention of having my children explain to my grandchildren that gra'ma died of an STD. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/8/2009 2:49:47 PM |
I have no intention of having my children explain to my grandchildren that gra'ma died of an STD.
They could tell them that you got run over by a reindeer. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/8/2009 4:56:29 PM | It's really hard to meet people where I live. I have met some guys from POF but not anyone that I care to see again other than one that lives over 2 hours away.
I would date around if I met anyone worth dating. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/8/2009 9:48:27 PM |
Don't like to date around too confusing for me.. Prefer just to date one and get to know them. Yes, I think it would be confusing. Also, don't think you'd really be getting to know someone on other than a fairly superficial level if you are not giving them your full attention. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:43:13 AM |
Yes, I think it would be confusing. Also, don't think you'd really be getting to know someone on other than a fairly superficial level if you are not giving them your full attention.
Especially at our age we might well not remember just who said what!!
thecatsmeoww | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:32:52 AM | | I agree with Farceur -- "dating around became sleeping around", and it is not, repeat, not for those of us who don't want (again, quoting Farceur) "sexually transmitted cooties..." | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/9/2009 8:05:42 PM | What ever happened to dating around?
Heck! I'd be lucky to find *one* person to date. My age, my area and availability do not accomodate "dating around". Lovely concept, though. It worked in high school, university and twenty something's single city life.
Farceur
Dating around became sleeping around.
No kidding! Look at all the threads on "third date sex" expectations. How can we date around, fulfill the third date sex thing and not feel a gypped prostitute? In my era of dating around, sexual put-out rules were much different. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/9/2009 10:29:18 PM | | Extremely disrespectful. I would send any woman on her way with no questions asked if she is a serial dater. If you dont have the time to know someone (got another date in the works) then their life and ways are cheap to you. A multidate thing is called a "party". Go to parties every night and you got multidating. If your gonna do that than why even try? You want a "drive thru" dating system like Burger King ? Instant gratification makes for long term unhappiness and corruption. | |
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| What ever happened to Dating Around?
Posted: 11/9/2009 11:44:05 PM |
The only way to improve your picker is to date lots of people, figure out who you are and what you want.
^^^Have to disagree^^^^
I know who I am. I know what I want.
( I want it ALL and I want it NOW dammit)
I am a great multi-tasker...but not when it comes to juggling men. | |
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