| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/21/2009 12:39:21 PM | Aww,bless your heart minika, thankyou!
And less anyone should acuse me of attention seeking lol,i,m not, far from it.Men moan about woman not answering them etc and women moan about the men,s behaviour and yes, i,m as guilty as the next person.To me,friendship or relationship starts with one thing.Mutual respect!! | |
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Travan
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Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 103 | |
| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/21/2009 2:26:52 PM | I read that review with a lot of interest.
After some months here I've been chatting to half a dozen women, simple because I enjoy chatting to them. I picked half a dozen of the ones I liked -and no they weren't all 25 year old stunners lol- and messaged them with the idea of meeting up, not a date, just meeting.
No takers. Not one. Different excuses each time, but no takers nevertheless.
I actually don't believe the majority of the women are here to date so I'm really going to now restrict myself to chatting to people I enjoy chatting to and the odd post on the forum.
Thanks, x | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:05:49 PM | | I recently plucked up the courage to go on a date with a guy I thought was really nice, I told him I'd got a busy weekend on and would probably see him Saturday or possibly Sunday. I texted him Saturday morning in case he wanted to go out Saturday because the date wasn't set in stone. He ignored me then texts me Sunday night to appologise for ignoring me as he went on another date Saturday. He told me he said to her hed see her again but he wasnt sure about her so would still like to meet me. I'm no shrinking violet was very polite in my response but wasnt sure what to think. In one breath I respected he was honest about what he was doing, could of told me anything, in another I was a bit gutted, maybe because he now wants a date as the other one wasnt quite his cup of tea just in case I might be better. I just wonder what people are really looking for sometimes maybe this site is too easy for serial daters and spoil it for the rest. x | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:17:05 PM | IM SWEET - no im not complimenting myself ( allthough i might as well as not getting any messages - hey get one in early  ) no that link
http://pofsucks1.wordpress.com/ was spot on.
Ive stopped using this as a dating site- it just doesnt work. Its not a level playing field.
Dont ask a womans opinion on here( no offence) as they are not in a postion to know, about responses to messages or the disparity between males and females, and dont listen to the guys pretending they are popular just to hopefully still cling on to the hope of pleasing some half attractive female into responding! WAKE UP!
Its great that when you do talk to women in real life after this experience...they are actually really responsive, and you get feedback,smiles,jokes and can make friends if its someone you see every day.
This site is dead in the water for guys. Dont pretend its working for you, its just a lazy way to 'solve the no girlfriend problem' .
Except you are actually doing more harm than good, as your confidence doesnt get the boost it does from the constant exchanges you get with normal social interaction.The constant rejection is enough to erode any normal human beings spirit.
Signing out, never to message again,but maybe to post,andy | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/21/2009 3:39:14 PM | One thing is for sure, you aren't going to find love in the forum.
I sometimes question why I'm here, which is the important bit for me, messaging or the forum?
I don't send first messages, tried a few in the beginning but frankly, it's just not me. I've decided therefore that I'm happy with someone else taking the initiative.
I check my inbox regularly and yes, I get plenty of messages. 99 out of 100 are from friends, people from the forums that I chat to, friends I've made at meets and occasionally, someone that wants to get to know me. I've had the grand total of three first dates in three years. It doesn't worry me. I'm not desperately searching for someone, I like my life (well, mostly. At the moment I can't get out to play and it's driving me mad!) having a man in it would be a bonus, not the be-all-and-end-all.
So, I think the main reason that this site has held my attention for the last three years, the thing that makes sure I log in every day is the forum. If it weren't for my daily dose of reading/writing drivel meant to change the world, I'd have fecked off after a fortnight!
If you really want to find someone, go to a few meets. The serious relationships that I'm aware of have started at a meet. | |
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Travan
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Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 107 | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:25:11 AM | | I haven't experienced any dates off this site. But i have to say i have made a few friends, i tend to get a lot of girls messaging me. But don't really seem to click with any of them. Ahh maybe one day it will happen :) | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:04:28 AM | Nope, no luck at all! Had one date and everything seemed to click (well in my head and heart) but she didnt think the same unfortunately. Anyone else hate while the woman is telling you that she doesnt think it will work that your a good/nice guy?  women go on about wanting to find a nice guy but when they do throw them back most of the time | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:17:08 AM | Another thought, how many guys would expect to pull on a night out by going over to a girl, leering at her and dribbling, "phwoar," while staring intently at her tits?
Not many?
Glad to hear it.
Why do so many do the written equivalent in a first message then? | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 7:19:26 AM |
how many guys would expect to pull on a night out by going over to a girl, leering at her and dribbling, "phwoar," while staring intently at her tits?
Not many?
You've obviously never had a night out in Southampton! | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 1:09:29 PM |
I read that review with a lot of interest.
After some months here I've been chatting to half a dozen women, simple because I enjoy chatting to them. I picked half a dozen of the ones I liked -and no they weren't all 25 year old stunners lol- and messaged them with the idea of meeting up, not a date, just meeting.
No takers. Not one. Different excuses each time, but no takers nevertheless.
I actually don't believe the majority of the women are here to date so I'm really going to now restrict myself to chatting to people I enjoy chatting to and the odd post on the forum.
Thanks, x
On your profile it states quite clearly that you are in France, depending on the location of the 6 people you asked to meet, it might not be possible for people to hop over the channel to see you, work, finances, children etc. Plus, on your profile it states quite clearly that you are in France and aren't readily available to meet anyone.
So what you say are excuses, might actually be vaild reasons. Consider also that if you had met all 6 and liked all 6 and vice versa, you might have ended up with a bit of a headache. I think that one was covered in the thread, how many is it appropriate to meet at the one time.
Certainly doesn't mean people aren't on here to date, might just mean that for some people, a date that costs up to 100 quid before you even meet someone might just be out of their budget. | |
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Travan
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Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 113 | |
| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:28:36 AM | Firstly, my profile quite clearly states,
As I am off to France for the 65th Normandy D Day celebrations and then for anything between 1 and 22 weeks afterwards, I've left my profile as dating, but I might not be readily available to meet.
I wanted the minimum of one week as I was attending the celebrations, but my return was left open til the end of October. That means I am not readily available, it might take a few days to get to a venue for a meet. I have actually discussed this with one or two people when they asked.
Secondly how many is it appropriate to date at one time?
I think you have to see the outcome of each one first before you move on to the next. It took me a little while as I did just that, waited for one refusal before suggesting to the next. However not one person refused due to travel. One was honest and straightfroward and simply said we had nothing in common.
However cynical it might sound, I kind of expected the answers I got anyway and was tempted to jump the gun, although I didn't.
I spoke very generally too, there were only 4 I asked if they were interested in a meeting.
My thoughts remain and I think many other men are realising this too, that most women are really not here to date. I don't know if there's a difference between those who use the forum or not, maybe that's my next study lol | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:52:55 AM | I'm aware of what your profile states, my point was, you used the word excuses in your previous post. If someone has stated clearly to you that they aren't interested because you have nothing in common, then as you said, that's honest and straightforward.
As would have been someone making it clear to you that they didn't have the funds to come over to France to meet you. Your previous post said that you had six people that you asked for a meeting, now it's four and whereas you said earlier that people gave you excuses, now you are saying that someone was honest enough to say they felt that they didn't have much in common with you.
The first message you posted I think puts the people that you asked in quite a poor light, whereas only the people you asked, whoever they are, know the reasons why they said no.
Perhaps there are certain limitations on asking people to date, such as geography, finance, childcare, dozens of reasons, it certainly shouldn't mean that the next 6 people you pick out, should you do that again, will give you the same answers. | |
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Travan
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Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 115 | |
| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 10:25:24 AM | Well apologies for misleading. I simply used 'half a dozen' as people do sometimes.
Yes of course the one that said we had nothing in common was honest and good, someone gave a straight answer. But the outcome was the same. 4 people not prepared to meet. One said she wasn't sure if she was not ready to meet anyone yet. Was that honest too? Or an excuse? Another wanted to spend some time in PM to 'get to know me'. (Even though she never spoke again after that for 3 days til I told her to forget it lol) Was that an excuse? Or an honest reply?
Where do honest replies start and excuses begin?
I deliberately picked people who I had some things in common with, chatted to in a friendly way, got on with fine and on the face of what I knew at that time would have been keen to meet them. Sudden change when asked for a meet though.
Edit: Oh...and just to confuse things more there was a fifth lol But she was a late surprise although the outcome was the same. | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:18:33 PM |
What i did notice on the two occasions i went to POF meet, is that the same groups keep together. Its like its not a dating site but a club.
The meets do generally tend to be more of a social event and a good excuse for a piss up, but what i found about online dating compared to real life is that interactions are so sloooow
You can cover so much more ground in a face to face chat that would take the equivalent of a couple of weeks online, and then you would still have to meet up before you can discover whether there is any mutual attraction there.
Its great that when you do talk to women in real life after this experience...they are actually really responsive, and you get feedback,smiles,jokes and can make friends if its someone you see every day.
Yep, i agree totally...something like 70% of communication is non verbal, so you're only getting about 30% of what's being said by chatting over the internet. | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 1:49:18 PM | LOL! Too funny especially from 'Dilleass' & 'aitch'. Guess this place has a use after all. Only been here a week, sent a few messages, all read, a few dead-end replies.
Kinda like real life, no? I mean you wouldn't just go straight up to a lady in a supermarket (or anywhere for that matter) and just start talking to her would you?
I'd be freaked out if a woman did that to me.
Dunno what the answer is... but at least in the forum you'll get some kind of reaction.
There's more men than women so they get all the attention and be choosy. Just the same in pubs...
something like 70% of communication is non verbal, so you're only getting about 30% of what's being said by chatting over the internet.
I'd put that at 90 /10... very hard to do online.
So, this is just for laughs... suits me!
Dave | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:27:59 PM |
Kinda like real life, no? I mean you wouldn't just go straight up to a lady in a supermarket (or anywhere for that matter) and just start talking to her would you?
True, they say women initiate first, through eye contact and then it's up to the bloke to approach them...i guess the equivalent on here would be to avoid contacting someone unless they've viewed your profile first. | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 3:51:42 PM |
True, they say women initiate first, through eye contact and then it's up to the bloke to approach them...i guess the equivalent on here would be to avoid contacting someone unless they've viewed your profile first.
AND they haven't just viewed your profile cause you sent 'em a message first.
Yeah, ladies always make the first move but very few are gonna send that first message.
So, that's a start.
They must have viewed your profile for a reason, right? Let's forget the potential negatives for now and see how that works.
Hell, seems like there's nothing to lose. Unless you get a downer on rejection which you shouldn't... your mum loves ya, remember that!
Dave
PS. One weird thing I've noticed... when I'm out and about. I seem to see the ladies on here everywhere! Anyone else?  | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 4:47:46 PM |
Anyone else hate while the woman is telling you that she doesnt think it will work that your a good/nice guy? women go on about wanting to find a nice guy but when they do throw them back most of the time
We are being polite when we do that. What do you want us to do, say there is not enough alcohol in the world to make us find you attractive? | |
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Joe1uk
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Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 122 | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/23/2009 11:04:04 PM | I have chatted to men on here, and the majority of them describe themselves as being very "busy" from this site. If casual sex/one night stands is what your are looking for it does seem readily available and there is always the option of using the prostitutes on here who advertise themselves.
I rather think some men/women are looking for a result rather then a date. | |
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| Have any of the guys on this site had much luck with dating?
Posted: 6/24/2009 2:58:36 AM |
I rather think some men/women are looking for a result rather then a date.
Well for guys it's kinda the same thing. We can't get away from the sport analogy.
It all depends on what you define as 'result'. Seems like getting a reasonable response to a reasonable message would take you to first base.
Does in the real world. But it's too skewed in here. One team have the advantage. And it's not because they have the best players either...
So, we change the rules.
Only message ladies if they have already viewed your profile FIRST. Then only view their profiles if you are gonna actually send them a message.
We play hard to get as well. 
Dave | |
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