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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:53:29 AM |
ElectricBarbella: Don't know about most, but my stepson is married to an Asian woman who is more like a slave than a wife. When he comes in from work she removes his boots, washes his feet, etc, etc. He has had several affairs that he has admitted to her and she still stays. Makes me wonder if she possesses any pride or brains as a matter of fact.
My ex-wife had a coworker, also Chinese, who was like this. Her boyfriend, whom we all called "the German guy" ('cause he was, and we didn't like him enough to refer to him by name) was a jackass, and a mean drunk, to boot. One night he came home and used her as a punching bag. The cops came and arrested him, but the next morning she asked my ex to borrow money so she could bail the fool out of jail.
When I incredulously aked my ex what possessed her coworker to take such leave of her senses, as she was normally a very smart and straightforward girl, my ex told me that Chinese girls are raised to believe that if anything goes wrong in their relationship, it's their fault, because if they treated their man better then he wouldn't be doing what he was doing - so they work even harder to keep him.
Y'all don't want to hear what I had to say about that. I respected my ex's culture, but both of us acknowledged that there are some aspects of it that need to go the way of the dodo. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/19/2006 12:26:07 PM | One night he came home and used her as a punching bag. The cops came and arrested him, but the next morning she asked my ex to borrow money so she could bail the fool out of jail.
When I incredulously aked my ex what possessed her coworker to take such leave of her senses, as she was normally a very smart and straightforward girl, my ex told me that Chinese girls are raised to believe that if anything goes wrong in their relationship, it's their fault, because if they treated their man better then he wouldn't be doing what he was doing - so they work even harder to keep him.
No society can prosper if most men are abusive and such behavior by a man is going to receive strong disapproval and maybe punishment. Therefore, I don’t believe her upbringing adequately explains her actions and I believe most Chinese women will not tolerate it. While her upbringing may be a contributing factor, the primary reason is the same as it is with other women that accept abuse. Be it low self-esteem or whatever, they are not just not right in the head. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/19/2006 1:40:59 PM | On the other hand, this is the same media that portrays white males as lovable, hen-pecked idiots, black men as hip-jive talkin' Romeos, and all sorts of unflattering stereotypes. It's the media - nobody's safe... so it definetely isn't a concerted effort to hold the Asian male back.
Well first off, I don't believe 'any' race or ethnic group should have to suffer from media misrepresentation/stereotyping. Naturally for the sake of this thread I'm addressing an 'Asian' issue. However, in regards to white stereotype-casting in movies and tv shows, there's generally a counter to the 'white air-head', 'white spoiled brat', etc. Someone to roll their eyes at their stupidity (hopefully no-one will quote this and follow with that emoticon), or put down the greedy mega-rich whitey. Generally, the counter person is a fellow white person. So there's still a white hero. As far as the black stereotype, this is a perfect example of what was to initially be progressive gone completely wrong, which manifested itself into 'black exploitation'. With black media depiction there's rules. What has been out-ruled is the old 'Aunt Jemima/Uncle Tom' image. This was accomplished initially through protest. Even with the Native American (who suffer to this day tremendously), there's a guide-line to follow. Chiefly, no non-Native American can portray a Native American on film. This of course was accomplished through protest. At this time there's really no rules in stereo-typing Asians. It's not just the non-romantic issue. In many lower grade movies as well as stand-up comic verbage, there's quite a bit of degrading comments including sexual inuendos, both Asian male as well as Asian female. Fortunately, there's an upsurge of protest to this as well. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/19/2006 2:04:07 PM |
It's hard to say. If he got that impression from me, it wouldn't be through anything I did or said, because I don't do that.
It's not anything you would've done, it's what you wouldn't of done. Here's what I mean: Let's say you and your potential 'hapa' son were watching tv, and something degrading towards Asians transpired on the program. There's a couple of possible scenarios on your end that may occur. It all might go right past you, and your son picks it up. Or what normally would of gone right past you sounds off like a foghorn because you realize that your son is present, and could be potentially affected by this. He asks you from time to time why people at school say degrading things at him, and why they do this on tv. You explain to him that there's prejudice in the world and there's nothing that can be done about it, and to try his best to ignore it (sorry if I'm making blanket paraphrase possibilities). As time progresses he finds out that people (and they're generally Asian) are boycotting products, protesting tv shows, etc. that degrade Asians. He begins to wonder why 'daddy' never thought of getting involved and just wrote it all off as part of life. So as you can see in this case, it's not what you did, it's what you didn't do. Of course none of this may happen, but it happens often enough to take strong consideration. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/19/2006 3:59:20 PM |
It's not anything you would've done, it's what you wouldn't of done.
That is a good point. I do generally cringe when I see unflattering Asian stereotypes on TV. My ex used to get upset, too - she really hated that scene in "The Transporter" where the hero guy (white) saved the kidnapping victim (Asian) and the girl threw herself at him to "thank" him. I thought it was pretty sleazy myself, but she turned out to be a not-likeable character all around, anyway.
On the subject of my son, I would, if asked, probably say that yes, prejudice offends me... but as I *am* white it doesn't affect me, and there's so much of it in the world that I can't fight it at every turn. I am, to quote Aunt May, "not Superman" - and I also have always gotten the feeling that minorities don't want people fighting on their behalf anyway - it's not their fight, after all. Kinda like the scene in "Malcom X" where the white girl asks Malcom (as wonderfully played by Denzel Washington) what she can do to help, and Malcom says bluntly, "you can't."
Then again, for whatever reason, I'm not much of a social activist. Personally, I'm too busy just trying to make a living and put food on my table to go out and fight evil at every turn, prejudicial or otherwise.
On the other hand, I would stand behind him if he chose to get involved... but mixed folks face their own sort of prejudice based on the fact that they aren't really one race. I mean, would my kid identify with "white" society or with "Chinese" society? Would whites see him as Chinese, and would Chinese see him as white? Mixed people are caught in the middle, unfortunately - so would my son, if he chose to protest such ideals, get flack for not being one of the people he's fighting for?
It's a complicated issue that, unfortunately, isn't going away any time soon. | |
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exxess
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 582 | |
| I'm glad to see there are some who do see things from a different perspective.
Posted: 8/19/2006 6:20:30 PM | | I have to commend you senor spode for your unbaised oppinion. I'm glad to see that you acknowledge what the media has done to North American Asians as a whole. Although there are a few Asian males breaking ground, culturally we have a long long way to go. As a whole our culture may have just ignored it or we just to focused on other things. On an economic scale Asians have done incredibly well and in my oppinion are on par with Caucasians on social economic scale. From a popular culture stand point, the Asian male has never done well. The last real Asian male icon was Bruce Lee. Other than that Asians have had little to look up to. Not only did we not have many role models but we've also been in general recieved many negative stereotypes. As a result we are facing an cultural identity crisis. If a person does not have any role models to look up to or admire you will move turn to closest thing. Growing up, I was what you would call the typical white washed Asian kid. All my friends were white, I date white girls and I had resented my own family because they were Asian. I was embarrassed being Asian because my eyes were different and my parents packed me rice rather than sandwich. I resented anything that was remotely associated to Asian culture. I did everything I could to fit into white society because that was the ideal scenrio. And yes I did suffer a lot of prejudice, but like an abusive relationship I believed that white people could change. All I need to do was work even harder to fit in. Now don't get me wrong I'm not a person to used the race card, I've never used the race card to get what I have today. In fact, if it wasn't for POF strangely I would not even realize what kind of brainwashing has occured, that is how powerful the media is. Again, I'm not against interracial dating nor am I sticking it to the White Man or whatever. I actually applaud those like Wonkabar respect our culture and view us as equals. I do however, detest those who treat asian women as slaves and see them sex objects to satisfy their "Asian Fetish". So going back to the OP question as to why you see more Caucasian men dating Asian women. I would say the answer is simple, our society has positioned the Caucasian male as desireable because it is the key to white society, which Asian's have a blanket admiration for. As a poster revealed earlier how can an Asian woman suffer beatings from her white husband work like as slave and still love her man. Same goes with white women, who've been positioned as the standard for beauty therefore highly desired by all races. Caucasians are not to blame for this. The media will naturally cater to the majority, particularly if the majority spend and earn the most its just simple economics. I'm not a paranoid person. I don't think there is some kind of covert conspracy to hype up white people. In fact I don't even care if white women don't view us as being desirable or whatever. What I am concerned about is Asian's turning there back on Asians because we admire Caucasians so much. That is what disturbs me. | |
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| I'm glad to see there are some who do see things from a different perspective.
Posted: 8/19/2006 11:39:31 PM | What I am concerned about is Asian's turning there back on Asians because we admire Caucasians so much. That is what disturbs me.
Obviously, I can't speak for everyone... but I have run into two different types of Asians/Asian Americans during the last few years.
The first type is the folks who still identify with their nation of origin, whether it be because they've just arrived here as immigrants or are still living in said nation of origin. These people don't want to integrate into western society as much as understand it and profit from it. They want to connect with westerners, get along with them, but do not consider themselves western. Folks like my ex and her co-workers, who were here to work, fall in this category.
The second type is second- or third-generation Asian Americans who, by virtue of living in this society over multiple generations, become further and further divorced from their "home". I know several Chinese American women who don't consider themselves "Asian" at all - they were born here, they grew up here, they don't even speak their "native" tongues... and in some cases, neither do their parents. As far as they're concerned, they're Americans, and they don't want to be treated as anything but.
The first type date western men for any number of reasons - curiosity seems to be a big one. Getting one's foot in the door seems to be another. A *lot* of gals back east want to latch onto a western man to get a green card. On the other hand, western guys love 'em, so they may just wind up with them because the western guys happen to hit on them and they find them appealing.
I once asked my wife, who'd only ever been with one other man, why she married me, and why she loved me. Her answer was simple - she said, "You're good to me, and you love me."
That was enough for her - I'll bet I could have been white, yellow, black, or whatever; her standards were high, but they were also simple.
The second type date western men because, well, they grow up here, so why shouldn't they? They consider themselves American, so they date American men, because apart from the color we all share the same cultural norms and values by virtue of growing up in America.
It's not so much turning your back on other Asians as it is simply embracing a more expanded world view.
Oh, one more thing. I work for a mostly Japanese company, so there're a lot of Asian women working there. Japanese and Chinese, mostly. We hired a Korean guy not too long ago. Young guy, good-looking, speaks Japanese fluently. You couldn't keep the girls away from his desk if you tried. It's a little annoying, actually. 
Food for thought. | |
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exxess
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Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 584 | |
| I do agree with you and I'm all for intergration.
Posted: 8/20/2006 9:57:25 AM | | Intergrating with North American culture is important. That was instilled into my by my own parents. But what they wanted from me was a balanced perspective. Basically, what you've demonstrated are two extremes of each other. One that does not embrace North American and one that rejects it really. Growing up I was on the the extreme right. I completely rejected anything remotely Asian. In fact, my friends would say " Your the whitest Asian I've ever met " At the time I thought that was humorous. Personally now I find such statement is as rude awakening. That being said, I now see the value you of what my parents were trying to instill into me. They just didn't want me to lose my heritage. They wanted me to have a sense of true identity. Sorry to say but really trying to be North American is borrowing an Identity. I mean I can sandblast my ass ten times over I'm not going to turn white. If Asian women really want to have an expanded view of the world, then they need to embrace both sides instead whole heartly embracing one and reject the other is what I'm trying to get across. | |
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| I'm glad to see there are some who do see things from a different perspective.
Posted: 8/20/2006 10:19:46 AM | | exxess: Thanks for your post and input. I had actually grown up with, and was good friends with a couple of Asian males. Looking back, I think they had many similarities to the things you had mentioned in regards to when you were growing up. Ironically, my mother who was Russian had the same type of feelings as you had mentioned about being embarrassed with certain cultural differences. Her parents were foreigners, and she would hate the fact that they couldn't speak English well when her friends would come over. However, of course, her being caucasian, she really never experienced ethnic prejudice. We (the U.S.) are a color-coded country in alot of ways. In our census reports we break our ethnic group percentages according more to race than specific ethnicity like they do in Europe. Ours read something like black, white, Asian, American Indian, Hispanic. And we tag color codes to each one. Of course with the vast number of whites mixed with numerous European ethnicities it's easier. But the color-code is what is emplanted in the psyche of many Americans. So it would seem logical to me that if a number of white males are willing to cross an existing racial barrier by dating/marrying a non-white female because they have a physical, emotional, intellectual preference, they should be willing to 'at least' attempt to remove all prejudice, stereotyping, patrinization, etc., associated with that female's heritage. So like yourself, I find the fetishization towards Asian females disturbing to say the least! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/20/2006 11:08:04 AM |
but as I *am* white it doesn't affect me, and there's so much of it in the world that I can't fight it at every turn.
I can understand that. Truthfully, I'm not a much of a social activist myself. For instance from time to time, and you may of run into them, the "save the forests or trees" activists will want to talk/receive donations for environmental issues that are obviously important. However, knowing that our planet is at risk, I just pretty much ignore it all. And I don't necessarilly think that 'everyone' needs to get involved with activist groups or anything like that as far as curtailing negative media imagry of non-white racial groups. My personal thought is that if a white male involves themselves romantically with an Asian or non-white female, then in a sense they've brought this 'racial issue' into their lives. As far as any type of personal activism, it could be as simple as not laughing when jokes are being made, and/or stating dissapproval. Because realistically, when something has become 'accepted', it's easy to become numb and let things go. What kind of sense would it make for a white male to date an Asian female, and then when he's off somewhere with his buddies and one of them makes a racial slur, this person laughs right along with them? And I know for a fact that these things happen. I also know that there are organizations on the internet where they provide info on material products, tv shows, movies, etc. that are using descrimination in various forms, and provide the opportunity to petition via email. This way there's no public scene being made, and no money is being sent to some 'org' that you don't really know what they're going to use it for. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/20/2006 11:42:23 PM | why are people so worked up about this subject anyways, it is dating, who says anything about long term, you f==k whom whom ever you want.
Dont' hate the player.......
Hate the game.....
But I have to say... women rule
kiss kiss | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/21/2006 11:28:51 AM | This thread is so messed up
There is sooooooo much racism is this thread it's not funny. What does it matter what colour the person is as long as you love them?? So what if shes asian, is she nice inside?
Amazing how far human beings can come in terms of tech and science but love seems to be taking a step back????????? If i end up being in love with an asian women i hope its because she loves me and not that im white, also if we end up married i hope my kids dont regret the fact that they are half white, and still look at me as their loving father and not anything else. Why would the family try to ruin our relationship if their daughter is happy?(as was said in one of the posts) People have to seriuosly grow up in our culture and judge people on who they are not colour. Just because im dating an asian woman doesn't mean i have yellow fever, get a life people. The more i read the responses to this and many other threads on P.O.F i realize our society is doomed.  | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/21/2006 9:52:25 PM |
The more i read the responses to this and many other threads on P.O.F i realize our society is doomed
... did you just miss the late 80's and early 90's??? Racism is even more rampant and growing ever more rampant... I got jumped because it was friday and I was white...
the 95 race riots ring any bells?
or more recent, The hispanic march in CA claiming that CA is their territory and they don't have to come over to the US legally or assimilate to the culture that is established because CA used to be part of mexico regardless of how we conqured/bought it from the government...
Oh and how you can't say the words "illegal aliens" without being branded a racist against hispanic people even if you're talking about the irish, japanese, english, french, arab, russian, chinese and people of ALL ethnicity who come here illegally...
OF COURSE OUR SOCIETY IS DOOMED!!! No one is allowed to have the most natural reaction anymore which is discrimination based on visual appearance... hell I've seen Nazi's file harassment suits because someone at work spoke out against them.... now that's sad... we're not allowed an opinion anymore for fear that the damn liberals will keep using that discrimination and racism card...
Us humans are visual creatures, we discriminate, we judge... else the lion wouldn't have its name. GET OVER IT!
and asian girls still rock!! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/21/2006 10:02:41 PM |
Just because im dating an asian woman doesn't mean i have yellow fever, get a life people.
Exactly! It doesn't mean you have yellow fever or are an Asiaphile, and don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise! And just because an Asian female is dating a white male doesn't mean she's a white-washed sell-out, CCB (cracker chasing ****), whiggy (white guy groupie), or a whoriental!  | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/21/2006 10:10:43 PM |
or more recent, the hispanic march in CA claiming that CA is their territory and they don't have to come over to the US legally or assimilate to the culture that is established because CA used to be part of mexico regardless of how we conqured/bought it from the government...
I think we pretty much just conquered them. I know initially we offered about a measley 2 million bucks. They of course said no, so we took it! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/21/2006 10:33:25 PM | | I don't see this as much of a phenomenon compared to white women who exclusively date black men. I'd like to know why that is. Not that I really care, of course there are "plentyoffish" in the sea. It just seems to be extremely common in my area, if not the norm. I mean it can't be all about "size" because...some white men like myself are well endowed. Is it because of how the media makes blacks seem more hip than white men? Because as we all know white men can't jump, and we are always geeky, skinny, spineless wusses in all the movies. I'm not a racist by any means, I just hate reading a nice profile of a sweet and attractive girl only to find "If you aren't black, don't botha. Holla!" at the end... | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 12:57:42 AM | I don't see this as much of a phenomenon compared to white women who exclusively date black men. I'd like to know why that is...
I mean it can't be all about "size" because...some white men like myself are well endowed...
I just hate reading a nice profile of a sweet and attractive girl only to find "If you aren't black, don't botha. Holla!" at the end...
It has nothing to do with how you are endowed. If you check the Internet some sites give a slight edge to blacks, other sites give a similar edge to whites. In both cases the difference is insignificant—about 1/4 inch. Women are attracted to taller and more muscular men and that may give an edge to African Americans.
While quite a few whites about 30 percent have dated outside their race less than 2 percent marry outside their race. I can't find any studies of why white girls dates blacks so I can only give my impressions. I don't claim that my impressions are correct. They are, to get attention, to rebel against their parents, and/or an illogical attempt to get back at white guys that would not date them. Also, because white girls are afraid to be see as prejudiced. Black men successfully use the "Are you prejudiced?" question to get dates with white girls. My impressions are that mostly the girls that date black guys are lower class, have low self-esteem, and are mostly white trash. I have seen a couple of exceptions to the foregoing where upper class girls would be dating high-class blacks.
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 3:16:46 AM | Look it has nothing to with race my 1st GF broke up with me to go back to a guy who beat her up all the time. And she was a slave to her ex and she was white. Some people just like the submissive life and like to be beatin and told what to do and my ex was white and a social worker.
it has to do with personality and not race. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 9:51:33 AM | It has nothing to do with how you are endowed.
Yea, and while I know this is a concept foreign to a lot of guys, it *is* possible to be too big. My ex wife used to say I was "too big for Chinese girls". 
Not all women are built like masonry jars, so that twelve-incher you got ain't the blessing you think it is.
At least you can use it in hand to hand combat! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 1:28:39 PM |
Yea, and while I know this is a concept foreign to a lot of guys, it *it* possible to be too big. My ex wife used to say I was "too big for Chinese girls".
Not in reference to you of course but I don't think it's always the penis that is the size problem for Asian women. To be frank, I can't see how some of the Asian women I've seen with large or overweight men can handle them being on top of them. Unless they're made out of steel. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 2:03:29 PM | This thread is so messed up There is sooooooo much racism is this thread it's not funny
And yet you added a rolling emoticon.
What does it matter what colour the person is as long as you love them??
Yes, after numerous pages on this thread, it's been long established that it's okay to date whoever you want, which ever race is involved. I know people hit and run and don't read the other posts, but I don't think anyone ever disputed whether or not it was okay. At face value, the original question was not 'is it okay'?, but 'why do I see more'? And the answer to that is in fact because of 'racism'....'sexual racism'. In other words, along side the white males/Asian females who are together because of more conventional reasons, the percentage is increased because of a fairly large number of white male 'Asiaphiles', and Asian female 'whiggies' (white guy groupies), which is basically a 'sexual racist'.
Yes, I think we all know now that not all white males who date Asian females have 'yellow fever'. Most of us do have preferences. There are chemicals in our body that dictate certain attractions that can involve even racial preference. This is racial discernment. But if someone likes chocolate ice cream, and the ice cream parlor is out of it, chances are they'll take another flavor. It's the one's who say "I gotta have an Asian woman.....only". Or of course "I gotta have a white man....only". This is sexual racism. Unfortunately many Asian female actresses, ice skaters, classical musicians, news reporters, golfers, etc. will 'only' marry white. Like it or not and it may sound harsh, but they're sexual racists. They may be perfect people otherwise, and have just that one vice. I'm not a bookie but if you wanted a sure bet in Vegas, if they held such a bet, it would be easy money to bet on any of them to marry a white man. They're not going to marry a black man. It's not a question of whether they will marry a white as it is a question of...which one? Do I personally care if a white guy is an asiaphile, or if an asian woman is a whiggy? Noooooo. But it answers the initial question. because again....the initial question whithout reading more into it is "why are there more"? Not "Is it okay"?
For anyone here who still has this concern: go ahead and marry, date, f***k, suck, blow, lick, fantasize over, hand job, finger f***k, titty f***k, nipple suck, toe suck anyone you want. No one really cares. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 8/22/2006 2:12:39 PM | Asian women are more cultured and know what they want especially in a multicultural and a diverse society that we have in England. Asian women play love, understanding and reality and leave the games playing out of the dating game.
Also Asian women know when they are ready and when they are, the feeling for most men is surreal.
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