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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 10:44:12 AM | ithink we are seeing more guys with asians becuase they like that exotic look that they have us white broads are getting pretty boring and repetitive . Same with the latina ladies , guys like them for the exotic ness , brazilians, ect not to mention they have awesome bods , im sure that doesnt hurt either lol
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 11:04:19 AM | Asian women, Japanese, Chinese, Tai, Korean are first of all very thin and proportionate. I have never seen an overweight oriental woman that I can remember.
Secondly, they are very sultry and sexy! And their skin is very nicely colored amd smoothe. Since I favor brunettes, they appeal to me for that reason.
Personality wise, overall they tend to be very nice and pleasant to be with. Although most tend to lack a real personality and tend to be on the shy side.
Sexually, let me just say this: They are hot!! I love to go down on a woman, and these women are blessed down there with the sweetest tasting candy of all!!!
The sexiest of all are those that mixed asian/Latino. Wow!!
That is my opinion anyway. | |
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derr12
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Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 1103 | |
| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:50:14 PM | There is an asian woman? Where?? gimme gimme!!!
yeah seriously, Id date an asian, but only if they were attractive, nice, clever, and sexy.
I might take one home just because it's different. but try finding an asian woman around where I live lol. Guys, just like gals, like the exotics.
personally, I cant wait to get inter-racial, but everyone here is white! I would be thrilled to try and go with a asian, native, black, latin, whatever...
send em my way. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 12:53:37 PM | | To respond and be realistic about this "Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?" If I do recall by history and time that Caucasian or British men how over they would want to be Nationalized themselves , that these men did like to conquer alot of the Asia Islands. So I guess to be realistic that explains why Caucasian men are so attracted to Asian women. So let's not ask such a stupid question here if you know anything about History. Can we help it has an Asian women have so much attention and attraction from Caucasian men. It's pretty much hereditary to these Caucasian men to feel that way towards Asian women. And honestly why I are you HATING on such topic... DON'T HATE ON ASIAN WOMEN IF WE ARE SO APPEALING TO CAUCASIAN MEN. It shouldn't matter nor anyones business on what any man preffered to date Nationality wise. A mans attractions is his own lust on what kind of a women appeals to him. SO PLEASE LET"S NOT HAYE SO MUCH HATE or make this such an issue. We have better things to focus on with this world we live in. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 1:10:46 PM |
Most men I know, who date Hispanic woman are broke from going clubbing or buying glitzy crap, maybe it's a bling thing,
funny you should mention that, in places like Vancouver, BC, that's exactly how it is with Asian women, doesn't matter if they're born and bread in Vancouver, or fresh off the boat...they are the most materialistic shallow women ever (generally speaking of course lol)
Ha ha ha, so glad you added that "generally speaking" part!!! Seeing as I am an Asian female Vancouverite, born and raised!!!
I have only been to clubs 5 times in my 27 years. And only for special occasions such as stagettes or work functions. Mostly because I don't drink or smoke, so partying is not a priority in my life.
Even after studying, and working in the fashion industry, and continuing to follow fashion trends, I do not feel the urge to purchase every new collection that hits the racks. If anything it has the opposite affect.
As for the bling, ha ha...yeah I am one of those people that still regrets upgrading my 8 year old perfectly functioning brick sized nokia cell for a flippant flip phone last Christmas. Now that's another thread...dumb new cells that don't work!!! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 2:26:38 PM | I kno a few guys who married a Asian woman. I asked what it is that they rather choose a Asian woman over a Caucasian woman and this is what all 4 said;
They are more loving and caring,
they don't fight so much, they appreaciate the little things and are better lovers...
they are always there for you if you trat them right and they make good moms, for all kids, not only their own...
they don't get themself drunk and just have sex because they can.....
these are some things I've been tols and the list goes on and on......and it got me thinking, you know.... | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 2:30:17 PM | SwtClassyLady, Talista, I don't think you get how this thread works. It's supposed to have 1 well thought out arguement followed by 45 ignorant replies. You broke the pattern, by posting 2 sequentual, well thought out posts.
Now we need to round up 90 ignorant idiots to get back on cue. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 2:54:41 PM |
Unlike you, I believe that people should be able to date who ever they want.
I don't have all day to go on about all the ignorant idiots on here, and argue with illiterate retards that want to post their garbage opinions.
I can understand your frustration, however this thread is a mirror of exactly what is going on on the outside world. Like it or not, this particular IR setting probably has far more issues than most other IR's. I don't know if you're from Canada or not, in that it seems many who post in this thread are. Things may be different in Canada than the U.S., but I couldn't say that for sure.
Some of the things stated that you're complaining about have a grain of truth. The problem of course is the generalizations. Stating that all White men dating Asian women are the same, and all Asian women dating White men are the same is wrong. But the issue of Asian fetishism/eroticism/sexism from white men is 'not' a myth. You may be the furthest thing from this, but as you can see from sickening threads that say things like "Asian candy is sweet down there", that to identify this as a reality would be the understatement of the century. That's more than just a sexist statement. It's a racist statement because it's an offense to Asians in general. It should be an offense to all Asian women, but unfortunately is taken as complement far too often. It's an insult to Asian men because they've been subject to 'much' racism and hatred, and for white men to use sexual slang towards their women has a much different connotation than just making a general sexist comment. It's just like the Indian mascots used for sports teams. Non Native Americans don't understand what the fuss is, but to a Native American, the Washington "Red Skins" is a product of outright racism.
Secondly, the fact of the matter is, some, not all, but some Asian females go beyond preferences for white males. They take it into not only condoning racial stereotype towards their male counter-parts, but vocalizing it themselves. If we're going to address one segment of racism, we can't ignore the other. The racism that 'some' Asian females do in fact practice, is one we usually want to ignore by reasoning that 'how can such assumed innocence be guilty of racism'?
In a perfect world this thread would of ended a long time ago. You know why it came back up the last time even though it descended who knows how many pages back? Because someone with an Asian female fetish more than likely 'googled' the words 'Asian fetish', or 'White man, Asian woman', and they brought it back to the forefront. I don't know if this happens every time, but probably quite a bit.
In general, when a white person dates or marries a Black woman, or Hispanic woman, there's generally a lot more care taken in how they treat the woman's race. They're less likely to make statements like "we're stealing the Black man's women from them", or "were stealing the Hispanic man's women from them". Fact: many, not all, but many white males use the WM/AF IR phenomenon to rub in the Asian man's face. We just can't overlook the fact that for 100+ years, up to this very day, we carry on the most ridiculous stereotyping and emasculating of the Asian man. People don't think this media issue has an affect. It's subliminal just like TV commercials. We know their game. They know that we know their game. But they make the same cheesy/corny commercials because 'it still works'. Same thing with racial stereotyping.
Truthfully, us being white, it's not about you or me. There is something to 'white privilege' even if we don't want to admit it. Take a look at some of the threads started by non-Whites. They often ask "what are my chances of dating a white person, or person of a different race?". Now when you look at many posts by whites who say they have a particular preference for a different race, they will often say "I prefer women/men of this race, therefore I will commence to obtain such given person of that race". In other words, no question about it. And often, it really doesn't matter what that white person looks like.
Nothing stated here can affect you in any way. You're pretty much free to date who you want (as far as race), with little to no opposition (other than reading a few irritating posts). In U.S. history, we brought over Chinese men to build our railroads. They were not allowed to bring their wives. They were certainly not allowed to touch a white woman. How would you like to not be able to date anyone? At least you certainly don't have to worry about that. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:09:01 PM | It's a preference for me personally. To me an average looking Asian woman is prettier than a hot blonde. As for the Latin thing, I was married to a drop dead gorgeous Latina yet still prefer Asians. Simply a physical beauty thing for me. I'm not at all into submissivbe women. It's all about the hotness!
Robert | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:23:26 PM | | This could be either an innocent question or sad racist stereotyping. The way it was worded, I will give benefit of the doubt and say that it may have something to do with the simple cultural and population blending--this is a multi-ethnic situation in the West. There will always be people talking about preferences and typing. I have loved asian, hispanic and 'white' women---and it's not over yet, I meet PEOPLE not races. I noticed the caucasian-asian combination more in California while visiting there, but I think it's as much demographics as anything. The whole lurid sex arguments here are unnecessary to me. People are people. I can't answer the 'question' because it isn't a single 'reason' to any of it. Love is love to me. Attraction is attraction. Ask each person and you may get a different answer. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:34:54 PM | Senore Spode: Great post. But now the ratio of intellectuals to ignorant jerks is really going out of whack. We have now have to many smart people posting on one page. Needless to say it's going to have to be followed up 18 pages ignorant jerks.
I agree with a lot of what you typed. Some people are going to think you are disagreeing with me when in reality we agree on most things about this subject. | |
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pifkus
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Joined: 3/23/2007
Msg: 1112 | |
| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:39:45 PM |  Well, Well Why do the guys like Asian women? Hmmm I happen to think it is because they are small in stature and the sterotype.
Stupid!
I am of Irish descent and am not fat or uneducated. I happen to be HOT! But then again ya know what they say about the Irish firey temper and our red hair. Men just can't handle it. Weaklings !  | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:50:19 PM |
Needless to say it's going to have to be followed up 18 pages ignorant jerks.
Well, Well Why do the guys like Asian women? Hmmm I happen to think it is because they are small in stature and the sterotype.
Stupid!
Well that didn't take long at all
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 3:50:58 PM | http://modelminority.com/article1069.html
The Yellow Fever Pages
By Karen Eng
Zukazuka.com
August 2002
Not long ago, I ran into an ex-boyfriend’s brother. This particular boyfriend — let’s call him Marvin — had moved to Japan five years ago, midway into our relationship. Things were never quite resolved between us, and I’d bitterly cut off all friendly relations after he backed way out after leading me very deeply in. Now I wanted to know what had become of him.
I panicked, but smiled. I managed to ask about the brother’s job, his music, his wife, their dog. Finally, heart pounding, I got up the nerve to ask him about Marvin. "Oh," he said brightly, as though he’d just remembered. "Marvin actually got married last week!"
I leaned against the counter, knees gooey, trying to keep the conversation politely rolling. I don’t remember what I asked next or how he answered — I was too busy fielding the bile that had started flowing. I also felt something like relief: Bitter though this news was, it was actually a many-years-wished-for resolution. It had been years since Marvin and I split, and I’m now in a happy, satisfying relationship. But the fact and the geography of his marriage confirmed something I’d always feared about our relationship — something, in fact, that I fear about all my relationships. Namely, that what men who are attracted to me really want is a Japanese woman.1
Before you tag me paranoid, digest this fact: Three of my previous boyfriends (the guy I lost my virginity with, my first out-of-college long-term relationship, and a fairly recent lover) had already married Japanese women — from Japan — by the time I heard the news about Marvin.2 The first was the one who instilled the curse in me, the only one nervy enough to actually say, during the course of our relationship: "You’re just not…Asian enough. I actually like Japanese features more." (Which just goes to show that visualization works — he now lives in Japan with his Japanese wife and kids.)
I believe that stereotypes of Asian women in general stem largely (and wrongly) from stereotypes of Japanese women. The fantasy Asian is intelligent yet pliable, mysterious yet ornamental. She’s also perpetually prepubescent — ageless and petite, hairless, high-pitched, girly — while simultaneously being exotic and wise beyond her years. Her breasts are small and round (the large-breasted Asian woman is a semifreakish commodity), and, as I once overheard someone saying, she’s "tuckable" under the arm. She comes from a culture where women traditionally serve men for a living one way or another, as a wife or geisha (I’ve often wondered who would have the better deal). Ads in the personals sections of alternative weeklies brim with this fantasy, as well as its counterpart, the Dragon Lady archetype: the ironic, iconic, bossy Asian dominatrix.
Why focus on the characteristics ascribed to Japanese women by lusty and ignorant white guys? After all, it’s not as though Vietnamese, Thai, Chinese, and Korean women aren’t targets of the same fantasies. But the Japanese thing seems prevalent, at least here in the States — the Asian stereotype in general seems to stem from it — and it’s the one that’s affected me most. (This may have something to do with the fact that even to most native Asians, I look Japanese; even men into Chinese culture aren’t attracted to me in the same numbers.) I think it’s because the first American mass-media exposure to any Asian culture was post—World War II, during the occupation, which coincided with the golden age of television. Our boys were over there sampling the wares of "comfort women" — mostly Japanese women forced into the sex trade to accommodate American GIs — and they brought their experiences home with them in the form of a caricature.
Whatever the origins of the fantasy, I’m Chinese-American, and the idea of Japanese-woman-as-Asian-ideal has been a source of letdown and neurosis all my adult life, mainly because I don’t think men who are magnetically attracted only to Asian women are usually conscious of their desires or motives.3 The "men are visually stimulated" theory would apply well to my experiences with the fellows afflicted with what I call Yellow Fever. I’ve found that if they’re Asian-inclined — no matter how latent/unacknowledged their desire — they pursue first and let who I actually am sink in later. Usually it’s too late: Then they’re vaguely disappointed in who I’m not, my ego is bruised because it wasn’t really me they wanted, and bad feelings set in all around.
I used to think my heightened sensitivity to Yellow Fever was born of too many viewings of M*A*S*H, Twin Peaks, Platoon — movies and shows in which female Asian characters are either easily exploitable by white men or in need of rescue by them, or both. Think Josie Packard on Twin Peaks, who flees the arms of her (white) sugar daddy for her (white) knight in shining armor: Actor Joan Chen is made to seem most glamorous in her most weepy, wishy-washy, and pliable states; worse, she bases her actions in reaction to how she might be victimized next.
But it’s not all celluloid: I’ve definitely seen one too many dorky white-guy musicians who play "Oriental fusion" music, wear their hair in a samurai bun, and have Chinese characters tattooed on their pecs — all in the interest of aligning themselves with "ethnicity" in some way. I’ve seen China-doll blindness that affects men to the point where no matter how many burritos you eat, no matter how many Young Ones videos you watch, no matter how many combinations of combat boots, 501s, and ratty Goodwill coats you wear, they still see a little Oriental flower. ("How come you never wear a kimono? You’d look really nice in one. Will you wear one so I can at least take a picture…?")
In my experience, the converse is that when the Asian woman in question doesn’t live up to one or the other of these specific clichés, it can be used as a defense or justification, as in, "Well, she’s Asian, but she’s a real ballbreaker" — which is sort of the intellectual equivalent of saying, "Well, she’s blond, but she’s really smart." That sort of reasoning feeds right into other, equally ridiculous stereotypes — like Ally McBeal’s Ling, an exotic-**** cliché lauded by culture watchers as a breakthrough for Asian tv characters because she doesn’t conform to the "docile Asian" stereotype.4
But Yellow Fever is a phenomenon with symptoms and causes that, though they’re fueled by pop culture, run much deeper. The trouble isn’t so much that men with Yellow Fever are attracted to a physical type per se, but that they associate the type with behaviors or attitudes that may not exist in the object of pursuit. Typically blind romanticism becomes doubly problematic (not to mention unnecessary) when that idealization is deeply attached to perceived racial or cultural attributes. The thing is, it’s hard to discern because there’s a lot of gray area between sincere, personal attraction and superficial, prepackaged desire — and also between wanting to learn more about a culture and wanting to co-opt it, especially when it’s all mixed in with sex.
Until I had some experience, it was hard to tell whether someone was interested in me or in a culture I may or may not come from. Often it was a combination of both, but I wasn’t always equipped to size up the proportions of each. In my late teens, all I knew was that older men seemed intently interested in me in a way that high school boys weren’t. Their questions about my family background and what sorts of philosophies I subscribed to made me feel, for the first time, that I might be attractive, despite the fact that I didn’t fit into my Orange County surroundings in quite the way the bikini babes did. I finally accepted that I might possibly be a little cool, even though I was an awkward, breastless Asian girl. My ego responded — I blossomed with possibilities.
And then, very gradually, I began feeling icky. Out in the world, I started seeing patterns. Sometimes it would be someone wearing a t-shirt with an Asian motif or kanji. Sometimes it was some guy trying too hard to sound knowledgeable about what he imagined was an obscure Asian topic, such as how "the Japanese" really feel about "the Koreans." Often these men were skinny; lots of times they were middle-aged. Sometimes they were military — when I was 17, I once went to a movie with a Marine. Once. Almost always they were goofy-looking, middle-class, educated white guys.5 Usually the conversation would start out, "So where are you from?" When I’d answer, "New Jersey" (my birthplace), they’d persist and ask me where I was really from, sometimes smiling smugly as if to say, "I know better," or informing me that they’d "spent some time" in such and such an Asian country. In my early 20s, I worked at a bookstore dedicated to world religions and founded by a Tibetan Buddhist; it was a magnet for Westerners seeking Eastern answers, and they all wanted to talk about it — to me.6
My first accomplishment in quantitative defense was cutting off my nearly waist-length hair. It worked, immediately weeding out all those who would see Hair and make a beeline for me. Only the most hard-core would feel the pull without the visual stimulation of a curtain of hair. And if, with my now well-developed intuition, I sensed one coming, I’d just veer away — or strike up a conversation with the nearest person, cultivate an interest in a piece of lint, have to pee, whatever. If I got caught in a conversation with a victim of Yellow Fever, I’d just pretend not to know anything about what he was talking about. ("Oh, I don’t watch anime…") Over time, I also learned to recognize who had a genuine interest in me — but even then, I was occasionally fooled. I developed an admittedly crude test to determine to what degree the genuine-seeming person had ever been involved with Asian culture or an Asian woman. Into anime? Fine. Into kung fu flicks and Wong Kar-Wai movies? Cool. Taking an immersion course in an Asian language, plays two or more traditional Asian instruments, and hoping to go to Asia? Uh, maybe…. Last three girlfriends Japanese-from-Japan? See ya.7
In other words, I learned to cope. But there came a time a few years ago when I couldn’t take any more. A friend and I were on our way into a Lester Bowie show, and we ran into another old friend who’d worked at that bookstore with us back in the day. He was a gangly white boy who suffered from too nice/too romantic syndrome, which dulled any potential sexual edge, and he often cited this as the reason he could never find a girlfriend. When I would compliment him on his sweet and kind nature, he’d blush and make self-effacing remarks. I remember thinking, at the time, that what he really wanted was a nice Asian girl — by culture, not by race — who might appreciate such qualities in a man because they were so rare in her own patriarchal family (like mine). I also remember thanking goodness he recognized I wasn’t that girl.
Anyway, I hadn’t seen him for years, and tonight he had in tow a moon-faced Asian woman with yards of hair.8 As soon as he was out of eyeshot, my friend and I looked at each other and half smiled, half — I hate to say it — sneered. Then, looking around at the audience minutes later, we realized that we’d entered Yellow Fever country — it seemed that almost every other table was occupied by a gangly white guy accompanied by a pale, moon-faced Asian lady with yards of hair.9
The next day, as my eye wandered through the personals in the weekly paper, I noticed a trend in the Men Seeking Women section:
"Maganda Ka! Are you petite, full-breasted Asian sweetheart seeking life-long love? Passionate, marriage- minded blue-eyed guy, marvelously sensual lover will cherish you forever."
"Are you looking for me? If you’re an unattached, childless, intelligent, single Asian female, 35 to 40, you may be. I’m a heavy-set divorced white male, 49."
"Desire Asian woman, very attractive, playful, monogamous, spontaneous, sexy, trim, tomboy, prefer under 35."
"Dynamic single male seeking attractive, flexible, curious Asian female with heart. I’m 45, well-traveled, multilingual, interested in Buddhism, like to cook, play tennis, and ‘hang out.’ More interested in questions than answers."
There were 10 ads from white men seeking Asian women. Inspired by fury, I whipped out a pen; I circled all 10 of them, copied down all the adjectives, and strung them together to make an ad of my own.
"Petite, beautiful, tomboy Asian sweetheart (with heart), intelligent, and particularly loathes white men who hanker only after Asian babes. All need not apply."
I sent it in and waited for the dead silence or angry voicemails I was about to receive. The first person to contact me was the editor of the personals section. Before she even spoke, I could hear the glee in her breathing: "I just want to tell you that your ad is great!" she said. "It’s about time somebody did something like this. I hate those ads too. In fact, the ones you see aren’t even the worst of them. I refuse to print a lot of the ones that come in."
"They get worse?"
"Oh, much. But, listen, you’re going to get a ton of calls anyway. They’re not even going to get to the end of the sentence."
She was right. On the first day the ad ran, I checked my mailbox and had 20 messages waiting for me. Some of them were from Asian-American guys who either didn’t read the whole thing or didn’t get the joke at all, interpreting the message as simply a preference for nonwhite men. One black man left a message too, thinking the same. Perfectly understandable. Then there were the Asian guys who did get it, but not as a joke. Actually, they took it quite seriously, saying things to the effect of, "I like your ad and what it says. I’m Asian, let’s go out." But the biggest percentage of the callers were white guys who — as the editor had predicted — either didn’t read the whole ad, or didn’t get it. They sounded excited, clueless, and like everything I hated. In the two-week period the ad ran, there must have been 200 responses. I checked messages obsessively for the first few days, but the joke wore o¤ and it soon started to feel like hitting a bruise. The concept of people so lonely that they couldn’t get a joke weighed on me, and I felt almost guilty for getting their hopes up.10 I told myself I wasn’t obligated to listen, and let the messages sit there ’til they were automatically erased.
My conscience had taken a small beating during what I thought of as a crusade. Not only did I stop listening to the messages, I stopped talking about it with my friends.11 Turning on the tap of all those lonely people chastened me enough to trigger a little compassion, and in the face of it, my gripe seemed trivial. In the end, what did I prove? Just that I was right; the personals editor was right. It proved something we all already know: that many white guys have Asian-woman fantasies. But it didn’t show me whose fault it was, and it didn’t make the curse go away.
The unsurprising results of this experiment, as well as the unexpected ones, ended up helping me come to new terms with the YF phenomenon. It’s not an outward change but an inner one: Once my sympathy was activated, it worried me less at a personal level where people’s motives lay. Who am I to say how we should nurse our loneliness? Misguided the Asian fetish may be, and ultimately insidious: I don’t want to be regarded as a Josie Packard, and no one in the media’s out there telling my story in any way. Nevertheless, I find myself feeling less defensive and getting less hopping mad. Instead, I try to take opportunities to state in strong, simple terms how it feels from my end. If I can’t, I just smirk and think "I feel sorry for you" thoughts.
I still wish it didn’t exist, but at the same time I’m not about to leave this culture behind because of it. My ego still has to bear the brunt of what is: Hearing about Marvin’s marriage didn’t help; meeting my ex’s half-Japanese kids was a wistful reminder even as it was a delight, and so on.
Just last week an otherwise lovely Italian man in my t’ai chi class — apropos of nothing — bowed, smiled, and said, "Arigato." I ignored him; he did it again. My blood didn’t boil, and I didn’t automatically conjure up the ghosts of every Japanophile boyfriend from the past. I just smiled a tolerant smile and started up a conversation with the guy next to me — who I hope wasn’t mentally casting me as the lead in one of his Jet Li T’ai Chi Master fantasies.
Notes
1 Not Japanese-American, though. For reasons I’ve struggled to understand for years, it seems that men who want Japanese women are purists — only women from the old country will do. I’ve always suspected that part of John Lennon’s charm is that only he could be sweetly eccentric enough to adore the most obnoxious Japanese-American woman of all time. (For the record, I love Yoko, especially as she bore beautiful Sean.)
2 To tell the truth, Marvin’s brother didn’t say the new wife was Japanese. It’s an educated guess. He’s been living in the same place in Japan for five years, a tiny provincial town with a population that’s overwhelmingly Japanese. I know because I went there for the most visually stunning, expensive breakup of my life. Even before he moved to Japan, I had my suspicions: When I asked whether he was sure I was the person he wanted to be with (as the serenity and mystery he eventually sought from Japan would never be found within the Mongol horde that is my extended family), he paused an uncomfortably long time before meekly reassuring me.
3 What about me? A fair question. Except for a girlhood fling with a Mexican-American man and one tryst with an Asian (a half-Indian British male who’d convinced himself he was black), I’ve mostly dated white men of one persuasion or another. Some would say I’ve been with more than my fair share of ginger-haired men of Scottish descent. But you can stop wagging that finger at me now, because as far as I know my people don’t have any kind of history of trying to drug or nuke the Scots, and Asian women haven’t generally held up Scottish men as iconic sex-objects for hire. Furthermore, my fantasies don’t involve my taking a dominant/worshipful position over a red-haired laddie…or do they?
4 From my one viewing, I’d have to admit Ling is the first Asian woman on tv I could even possibly begin to relate to. I’d be more convinced if she were shorter, fatter, more neurotic and less invulnerable, didn’t know how to speak Chinese, and dared to wear short hair. But for now I’m just happy she’s not a drip.
7 This is not a foolproof method. Recently I befriended a reporter in the office adjacent to mine. He had that intellectual, skinny, alternative geek-hip look, and whenever we met at the water cooler we’d talk about music. He was white. He liked Japanese pop. He was studying Chinese. When he asked me out to coffee, I warned myself that all the red flags were there, but he didn’t look at me in the way that gives me the Fear. Over coffee, he mentioned that he planned to go to China to study Chinese intensively — and then mentioned his boyfriend, who is Chinese.
8 I ran into these two a few weeks ago. He proudly introduced her as his wife.
9 In the context of the San Francisco Bay Area, where interracial relationships happily abound, this probably doesn’t seem extravagant. On the other hand, there was no other interracial relationship in the room that night: no white chick—yellow guy, black guy—yellow chick, black chick—white guy—nothing. What that means I don’t know, but obviously it bugs me.
10 One man sounded like he was talking through a hole in his throat, saying he was very lonely and a good companion. It got my compassion worked up, but that soon dissolved when I realized he’d been calling again and again. At that point, I started to feel scared and stalked. But the best call was the one white guy who loved the joke so much he spent the $1.69 per minute just to laugh and laugh into my voicemail box.
11 Most of my friends enjoyed this story and cheered me on. But one didn’t — a man I’d worked with years before, who at the time seemed to have a case of Yellow Fever that I sometimes felt was aimed at me. His arguments against my experiment were no different from anyone else’s, but his tone was incredibly defensive. Still, I don’t hold it against him. Some of my own male friends have been similarly afflcted; I accept it as a part of their personality and simply proceed with caution. Or I nag them so much about my point of view that they proceed with caution. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 4:14:56 PM | | MDNinja are you the one who post this question "Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women? " cause if not then don't be calling people ignorants when you are not the one who post it. People are allow to answer the question with their own words and values. I honestly think this question has no value in this world we should be focusing on more imporatnt things. And like I said men should be able to date whatever nationality and whoever they lust in their appealings. This question is a hateful question to my eyes. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 4:53:05 PM | | No no no. SwtClassyLady. I agree with what you posted. I am not against you or calling you names. I agree with you. I totally agree with you and I appologize for any misunderstanding. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:05:47 PM | Fact: many, not all, but many white males use the WM/AF IR phenomenon to rub in the Asian man's face.
You got any kind of evidence to back this up? A study, maybe? I'm genuinely curious.
As to that frickin' enormous rant from Ms. Eng... Christ. Maybe she has a point. I dunno, but I'm not gonna sit here and try and refute it all. All I know is, the part where she mentioned that sweet geeky guy who had no "edge" that she hoped would find an Asian girl... well, there you have it. I don't have an "edge", either; and the one time I asked my (ex) wife why she loved me, she smiled and said "you're a good person. you treat me well."
Shame that that's generally not enough for today's modern American woman.
Two more thoughts on the "Article";
There are guys, although I don't know why most of them are white, who genuinely have an interest in eastern cultures. I've had one all my life. Culture shapes a person, and if you're comfortable with a culture, then it stands to reason you will be comfortable with (and compatible with) a woman from that culture. And since women are always complaining that we never take an interest in them, just their tits, some guys are going to attempt to take an interest in someone's (perceived) background. I didn't know much about my ex's culture before I married her, but once I began to learn the history of China, and spend more time with her family, I got a much better understanding of who she was and where she came from. It made me appreciate her - nay, admire her - more. She was proud of her heritage, and was happy that I was interested in learning about it.
So when a guy sees a Japanese girl, he thinks "hey, she's pretty, I want to get to know her - what do we have in common? Anime, maybe?" - so he asks her about anime. How that's any different from any of my Chinese friends in Xuzhou asking me if I liked Celine Dion by virtue of my being American, I won't understand, but whatever.
Anyway. Just another racist bit of claptrap about white privelige.  I just think it's depressing that just because Puffy Amiyumi is one of my two favorite bands (and it's not because they're Japanese, they just sound awesome) I'm going to be labelled a fetishist and be treated hostilely by Japanese-American women should I dare to speak to them.
The bottom line is, regardless of which side of the equation you're on... people do not like to be labelled. Ms. Eng doesn't want guys approaching her because they expect her to put on a buru-sera like some Harajuku girl and kowtow to their fantasies... well, guys like me don't like to be labelled as white supremacist conquerer bullshit that can't handle "real" women or whatever other crap folks want to shovel our way. Some men have backward notions about women of all creeds and colors - and just as many don't. Why we focus so fervently on the negative ones instead of highlighting the positive, I'll never understand. And the question keeps coming back to... if the two people in the relationship are happy with one another, what f*cking business is it of anyone else's why they're together? | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:29:29 PM | MDNinja:
I highly appreciate your levelness of thinking, and it's such a relief to see sanity in this thread! I recognized your maturity, so I admit I felt at liberty to quote you. You obviously recognize my frustrations are 'only' aimed at the constant 'sexist/racist' comments from other posters. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 6:39:25 PM | agentangi:
That's an interesting write-up. I've seen quite a number of similar type of blogs recently by Asian females. Some by Asian males as well. Prior to the internet, there really wasn't a whole lot of exposure to Asian and/or Asian-White relations. Popular publications rarely hit on any of these issues. But the internet has been somewhat what of a catalyst for Asian expression.
Unfortunately, the regular media has a "keeping up appearance" method of dealing with things like stereotype, or more specifically, Asian stereotypes. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:02:26 PM | I stated my opinion earlier but the more I read this thread the more ridiculous it got for me. I think the problem in today's world is that we make a big deal of so called "race" when we are all of the same human race.
With that being said, preferring to date some that is (you pick) is really just the same as someone only dating blondes, or italian americans...blah blah. Just cause we may eat different foods and have different cultures does not mean anything. We all want the best for our family, friends...All the best! :) | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:05:14 PM |
That's an interesting write-up. I've seen quite a number of similar type of blogs recently by Asian females. Some by Asian males as well. Prior to the internet, there really wasn't a whole lot of exposure to Asian and/or Asian-White relations. Popular publications rarely hit on any of these issues. But the internet has been somewhat what of a catalyst for Asian expression.
Unfortunately, the regular media has a "keeping up appearance" method of dealing with things like stereotype, or more specifically, Asian stereotypes.
I thought it was interesting because just about every stereotype and yellow fever justification she touched on has been described as the truth in this thread. Actually, many of the views expressed in this thread are downright disturbing to a woman, much less an Asian woman. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:15:35 PM | Wonkabar:
My opinion is that in your case, you are 'not' the type of person that Ms. Eng is talking about. Apparently, many Asian females are becoming disillusioned or frustrated by many white males who seem 'only' attracted to them because they are Asian. There's also certain manifestations that go along with this. Some examples I've seen on blogs would be comments like "is it true you Asian girls have tight *****'s?" So they would make attempts to weed these types out. However, even upon doing so, one Asian woman, after a few months of dating and everything seemingly going okay, the statement came up while in bed together, "I always wanted to know what it would be like to f**** an Asian woman".
Now whether these women are guilty themselves of auto-racism, that I don't know. But, I don't think we can deny that sexism practiced by many white males is having a negative affect on some Asian females. And there's more problems to come no doubt. In the short time I've posted here, I think I can see clearly that 'you' and "MDNinja" are not at all like these people. So when you see the many sexist comments made, even on these threads, realize that they're doing more harm than good. Imagine having a daughter from an Asian woman, and she favors the Asian side in appearance. Imagine people talking about her that way. I personally can't blame these women. I don't see why 'you' see it as a threat to you personally that some Asian women are standing up to this.
You got any evidence to back this up? A study, maybe? I'm genuinely curious.
Aside from personal experience which I never recorded or caught on film, I'd have to direct you to various postings on forums, blogs, and actual constructed websites. But you know as well as I do, that many White males, even who post here, will date an Asian woman one night, and the next day use derogatory language about Asians and/or Asian males that would make a WWII vet blush! | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:22:03 PM | * post deleted. didn't make a lot of sense. instead, I'll say this... *
I personally can't blame these women. I don't see why 'you' see it as a threat to you personally that some Asian women are standing up to this.
I see it as a threat because I can't look sideways at an Asian-American without being ripped a new one out of paranoia - fed by these lengthy rants - that yellow fever lurks around every corner.
Yea, these attitudes are deplorable. I wince every time I see one of these fools say stuff like "Asian candy". But women like Ms. Eng are not going to take the time to tell the difference between me and one of them. She's admitted as much in her essay. History of dating Asian women? "Spent some time" in the far east? I'm scum. Next!
I don't like being labelled any more than she does. The real question is, though, are the barbaric attitudes more prevalent than us normal guys? There are men who hold neanderthal opinions about women of all kinds, but are they in the majority? Guys like MD and myself (and you as well) aren't posting much to this thread because we know it's a fairly stupid topic that's just giving idiots (on all sides) a place to rant. I don't even know why I popped back in, to be honest. It just... depresses me that with all the other problems men face in dating today, that we now have to worry about who we choose to pursue and whether or not we're pursuing them for the "right" reasons - when most men rarely think about it beyond "she's pretty, I think I'll ask her out." | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 7:49:09 PM | get a few more years under your belt.. and few little holidays to ban-cock
I live close to Bangkok. Asian women come in all shapes and sizes, and BOY are there some ill-tempered fat ugly ones. Central Bangkok, however, where the tourists head for,
is like a fashion parade. Gorgeous slim women all pretending to be submissive and polite in exchange for a good time and lots of $$$$.
IMHO with Asian women it is more worth looking for a woman you get along with since many will resemble prumes by age 40 and if you just married for looks then the old libido will be taking a nose-dive in middle age. | |
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| Why Do I See More Caucasian Men Dating Asian Women?
Posted: 4/9/2007 8:10:30 PM | | Hey,Hey, Im a blonde & I havent dated any black men,I have alot of black men as friends & i know why they date Caucasian Women,Ive been told alot of different stories, so im not even goin there!! Any way, Ive dated an Asian Man & he was so sweet, too sweet & nice, now i know what ur thinkin"How come ur not with him"? I only cared 4 him as a friend. Everyone thought he was Hispanic.. So my point! All blondes do not date black men, we date all the men, If i like a guy & hes Red, im goin 4 it, Im 52yrs old & im not about 2 change now. I think Asian Women arent like our American Women, we do & always will do what we want & no man is goin 2 tell us different, Now pleez all u Asian women dont go nuts on me, im like Carlos Mencia, I say what i want, NOBODY GET OFFENED, this isnt my intention!!! | |
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