| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:23:18 PM | | I think a drink or coffee is nice but an activity might be better like miniature golf, a walk in a public park. Some times the sitting face to face almost feels like an interview, which I guess it is but it shouldn't feel like one! Definitely keep it public and safe. I personally don't care to eat with someone the first time we meet, I just feel a little uncomfortable eating and talking to some one I just met. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:50:34 PM |
I think a drink or coffee is nice but an activity might be better like miniature golf, a walk in a public park. Some times the sitting face to face almost feels like an interview, which I guess it is but it shouldn't feel like one!
In the past, I have thought about an activity such as te ones that you mentioned. I still find myself back to the issue of the time dedicated to an activity such as the ones that you mentioned. It is not that I am waiting and expecting to have to make a run for it, and if it is neccesary, yes, one can spend a few hours with somone and have fun even if it is not someone that you are romantically interested in (I have done this on several occasions).
I suppose that I have just reached the point that I am not interested in dedicating alot of time to something that I am obviously not interested in pursuing on a romantic level, nor do I think that it is fair to the person that I am meeting, to lpossibly lead them on to believe that I am interested if I am not.
I have lots of good friends, and sure...no one can have to many friends. I am however looking for something more than friends on this site, and that is what I have concentrated my time and energy on. If it is not goin to work out for me, and I see that, then I think that all parties invloved deserve to know that. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/11/2009 9:52:32 PM | | Some gals feel quite self-conscious / nervous at a first meet and does not mix well with dinner. So, I think lunch or dinner for a first date would be ok but I would probably advise against it for a "1st meet." | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:38:46 AM | | I understand not wanting to commit much time, I know there are times when you just know! But I know myself that I am nervous when I just meet someone and I tend to be rather shy. But after a little bit I start talking , laughing and being myself. If you are going to decide on looks alone then yes 15 minutes would be enough. An hour or so chatting while bowling a game, or walking through a flea market could atleast let you know the other person just a bit better. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/12/2009 12:11:42 PM | What is wrong with getting to know someone, I mean REALLY getting to know someone before ever meeting, thus pretty much ensuring that a 2-3 hour dinner will not be a problem? Email, text and communicate with them on the phone for like a month or so before meeting allowing ample time to really get to know each others values, likes/dislikes, interests, views, flaws, ideas... etc. As long as their pictures are true to who they are and recent I can't imagine that it would end up being all that bad.
You can lean a LOT about a person over a months worth of communication. Just my opinion. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:10:40 PM | | This is one example that makes women look like we are out to get a free meal and drinks. This is one reason I make sure that I can pay my own way on any date, if I don't have the finances to go, I simply don't go. If I want to go somewhere specific, I say so. If I say that I don't care where we go, then I have no room to complain. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:38:26 PM | | I prefer a brief, under an hour coffee meet. For a possible 1st date a meeting at a pub is a good idea, but if the timing of when you're to meet fell around dinner, there could be an expectation. I think a dinner date should happen on a 3rd or 4th date. I love breakfast, brunch or lunch dates for a first meet if I know the person quite well from email/phone; otherwise a brief coffee meet works for me. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:06:26 AM | | I HAVE A COW IN THE BACK 40 I WILL SELL YOU THEN YOU CAN FEED EM AN SAVE SOME MONEY....ALL YOU NEED IS A GAS GRILL,,,,, GRAIN FEED BEEF..BEEF ITS WHATS FOR DINNER | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/14/2009 10:18:01 AM | Thing is to be upfront on how one wants to go about the first meeting, because there are miscommunications, as there are folks with different expectations, other then your own.
If someone bulks at your idea of meeting for drinks, only, then you've saved your time and lost nothing. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 6:26:24 AM | Leave the keys in the ignition or the engine running. Make sure there's a window open in the mens room.
I had just the one date with a woman who turned out to be a PMT-psycho-****-from-hell. After ten minutes I wanted out. I went to the toilet and called a friend on my mobile. I asked him to call me in 5 minutes with a story about a family disaster. It worked and I was out of there. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:11:18 PM | I like the park idea, the last guy I met, I met in a park. Nothing keeping me there any longer than I wanted to be, not a full meal...not a HOT cup of coffee, I'd hate to have to rush through that & burn all my buds off.  So park gets a  you can make it a 15 minute meet or an hour + depending on how things go.
Now the last 5..yes count them 5 dates I've accepted were no call/no shows. After the 1st few I noticed a pattern. One guy asked me out, I said we could meet for drinks, He said he wasn't really into bars, I suggested park, he suggested his house LOL I suggested park again....he accepted but didn't show SHOCKER!
Another guy was suppose to meet me out at a local pub, I called to confirm because of what had happened previously, he said yes he was just getting in the shower....never showed BUT did email the following day as if nothing had ever happened & asked me out again lol NO Thanks!
Another asked me to dinner but never called to confirm so I didn't bother getting ready but I did text him, he replied a good 4 hours after the time that we were suppose to meet, said he fell asleep but felt really bad, wanted to make it up to me BY....coming over to my home to watch a movie sometime after my daughter was in bed or me going to his home for dinner LOL NO Thanks!
Whats up with these guys wanting to meet at one of our homes? I mean, I'm not that naive, I'm sure I have the answer but does this work for them? I think it must or they wouldn't keep doing it. So for me, Public for sure!!! & I've found the park to be the best & most comfortable. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 5:12:01 PM | Most of the profiles I've read that I've had any interest in either mention that they'd like to [insert something fun but not dinner or a movie] here or that they'd prefer NOT to have dinner, or a movie.
Both of those (even though you only ask about one) involve awkwardness, expectations of them and yourself and yes, a set amount of time. Dinner can also be pricey (though IMO, expensive first dates are a bad idea).
Shorter first dates in a public place are safer, less stressful, offer more options (in case things go really well, or really badly) and fewer expectations. Food is ok, even suggested, but an actual sit-down meal in a typical restaurant is just... eh.
And yes, if someone is going to determine how the relationship will go based on a dollar amount, then they can take a hike. Yes, you can be too cheap, but spending excessively is one thing that has a lot of people in debt. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 7:59:03 PM | Coffee or a drink is always a great first meet. IF you keep an open mind and are not to quick to pull the trigger and write the other person off without really giving them a fair chance.
I think people put way too much stock into the first meeting. I'm not saying it isn't important, but being honest, can you really tell whether or not there is any chemistry after only 20 minutes of sipping on a caramel macchioto talking about the last good movie you say, or covering the other superficial coversation topics that always rise during the first meeting? I don't think you can. Sure, there may be some glaring deal breakers that you simply can't overlook, but by and large I really don't think many can make such an important choice that soon. Why? Because you don't know the person. They may be shy, they may clam up worried that they'll say the wrong thing, they may have just had a terrible day...
If the first meeting goes well (meaning I don't see any glaring deal breakers) I always ask for a date. Gotta give people a chance to open up and to really explore the potential... not write them off because you think you're more "intuitive" than you really are. ;-)
And I agree about spending too much money on the first date. I don't think it's being cheap at all. I'm not taking her to a $100 dinner on the first date. That type of spending is reserved for those whom I'm a relationship with. But you DO have to spend some money. Taking her to Applebes isn't going to cut it, if you know what I mean. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 8:12:04 PM | Hey a fellow Ohioan! Born and raised in Lima lol
Well, you're right Applebes is a good restaruant - that was a bad example on my part. I was meaning to imply taking her to some place where the highest dollar item on the menu is under 10 bucks.
I'm just used to doing Sushi bars and the sort, I guess. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 8:16:18 PM | | Never dinner on a first date!!! Never, ever!!! Dinner can last an eternity if you are with company you are not feeling. Coffe or drinks is the best way to go. Even coffee can last a long time; you will not believe how many brain freezes I had to endure while slurping down my granita really fast LOL | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 8:36:01 PM |  Hi Mr Lima!
I agree with everything you said...other than Applebees. 1. because I like the food 2. Because honestly I wouldn't feel comfortable going to an expensive/upscale restaurant on a 1st date. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:32:16 PM | I agree completely. I think a short and sweet meet on the first date is ideal. It gives you a good intro to the person instead of a lot of awkward moments at a long dinner. Long drawn out date 1's usually bring out a lot of Q/A sessions out of nervousness and lack of alot to really talk about. This gives a very awkward feel, like its an interview or something. If there was any chemistry...it may even die out because either party begins to feel like they are on trial or something. Keep it short and sweet...that doesn't always have to equal cheap, but can equal date 2 success.
As for you're "date" ...seems like she absolutely did you a favor by showing her true colors. If it acts like and smells like a gold digger....it probably is! Happy Dating :P | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 9:34:38 PM |
It pays to make sure the person you are meeting for the first time knows that its only a drinks/coffee meet up and make sure its not set around lunch or dinner time so as there is no confusion at all.
I agree. A Starbucks or Coffee Bean meet up is appropriate. I've had coffee dates and I bought my own beverage. It does save a lot of agony. I met someone who talked non-stop about his ex-girlfriend that he clearly was not over. I was glad when that one was over.  | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/15/2009 11:12:40 PM |
you will not believe how many brain freezes I had to endure while slurping down my granita really fast LOL
Gotta love those brain freezes.. I loved that analogy! | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:39:05 AM | I think people put way too much stock into the first meeting. I'm not saying it isn't important, but being honest, can you really tell whether or not there is any chemistry after only 20 minutes of sipping on a caramel macchioto talking about the last good movie you say, or covering the other superficial coversation topics that always rise during the first meeting? I don't think you can. Sure, there may be some glaring deal breakers that you simply can't overlook, but by and large I really don't think many can make such an important choice that soon. Why? Because you don't know the person. They may be shy, they may clam up worried that they'll say the wrong thing, they may have just had a terrible day...
I agree. That's why I tend to avoid the quick coffee date. As stated by a few other posters, I would like a first date / meeting that is more than a quick cup of coffee, but not necessary dinner at a expensive restaurant either. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/17/2009 9:42:52 AM | | To be honest I would definately say that for me dinner is my ideal first date and then onto the pub for a few drinks. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:07:01 PM | | Do like me......Eat real fast. Then if you still can't stand to be at the table with them, go to the men's room. I've never met anyone I that I can't stand to be with but one time. I was truthful that I didn't think it would work out, but I did stay until we finished eating and just moved on. | |
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| Dinner on the first date?
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:29:41 PM |
I agree completely. I think a short and sweet meet on the first date is ideal. It gives you a good intro to the person instead of a lot of awkward moments at a long dinner. Long drawn out date 1's usually bring out a lot of Q/A sessions out of nervousness and lack of alot to really talk about. This gives a very awkward feel, like its an interview or something. If there was any chemistry...it may even die out because either party begins to feel like they are on trial or something. Keep it short and sweet...that doesn't always have to equal cheap, but can equal date 2 success.
As for you're "date" ...seems like she absolutely did you a favor by showing her true colors. If it acts like and smells like a gold digger....it probably is! Happy Dating :P
wow... I've never had a date like that. If it's not going well DURING dinner I always very politely excuse myself and end the night when dinner is over. Dinner lasts what? A couple hours at the very most - usually a lot less. If you've lost the chemisty that quick - you never had it. | |
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