| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:51:06 PM | You are expecting him to buy you a drink when you asked HIM out? Epic fail! Whoever asks should pay.
If you are so thirsty why didn't you get yourself another drink?!?
Just a quick word to the gentlemen on here making fun of the concept of equality... do women get equal pay in your countries?
I see this brought up a lot but....for one women on average don't work as long hours as men. Some women work part-time where a lot of men work more overtime.
Women don't seem to negotiate for starting salary as well as men. Often taking the first offer handed to them which is usually the lowest pay....duh.
Women often don't go for the higher paying professions, opting for lower paying professions like liberal arts, social workers ect.
Ok now that we got that out of the way......
If a woman spends an X amount of money on her appearance to look good to come out and meet YOU while you guys know darn well women spend hard-earned cash and HAVE TO spend it according to what your societies dictate today otherwise you yourself wouldn't look at the woman twice!!! [I am not even talking about high-maintenance by the way]
We guys are not going to reimburse you for the money you spend. You buy expensive dresses & shoes, go to the hair-dressers, get the makeup......you do these things for YOURSELVES. So don't blame it on the guys for stating you have to do it all for us....I don't believe it for one minute.
Maybe we guys should start charging the girls for going to the gym for working out, the sports car, so you have a nice vehicle to ride in on your date....geesh! Give me a break... | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:00:52 PM | I think first dates should always be dutch (you split it).. why can't you pay for your own stuff when you are going on a first date? If you aren't interested, then don't go and waste your money. Personally, I want a woman who can support herself. I want a strong, stable, independent woman. If you are the kind of guy who wants a woman who spends time in the kitchen and pumps out babies, then sure.. buy her everything - whatever. I want my relationships to feel equal - at equal in my own little world!.. there are differences between men and women, and I understand that.. and there's "tradition" too... but I still think, financially, it needs to be equal in 2009.
But as far as your date goes.. it sounds like you were turned off by general disrespect.. in a overall sense... and the end of the date showed you his true colors, so lucky you. Personally, wouldn't MIND paying 100% for a date if she was a little short on cash.. I do consider myself a gentleman.. but I would respect her a LOT more if she bought her own stuff without 'expecting me' to buy things for her.. that sense of entitlement is really a turn off, at least for me. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:43:28 PM |
This is such a crock of sh1t I don't know where to begin. So, a guy is expected to monetarily compensate you for looking good now? And I suppose you date guys who put no effort or money into their appearances, huh? A guy not giving you a second look because of your appearance is balanced out by you not having any interest in him unless he is tall, rich, and handsome.
Compensate us? Since when were being nice a compensation? Do you actually say good morning to people and mean it or is that too nice for you?
I would gladly remove myself from the dating pool if all what is floating on are turds!
And for your info, I am happy dating someone short, average in income and ugly. Personality counts. Try it. will help you. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:27:22 PM | | I am a 32 yr old man and here's how I would've handled the situation if I was in his shoes. First I would've appoligized for being late. Second I would've asked if you wanted something to drink and would've paid for it. Third if there was a dance floor I would've asked for a dance. I would never act like that fool, you should forget about him. He must be the type that is high on himself. Good luck searching for the next great guy. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:57:27 AM | I always have enough money with me to pay for myself and him on a first date. If I don't I don't go out with a stanger. I have offered to pay and have insisted on paying in certain situations..the guy only wanted drinks but I was hungry so I ordered food which I then said I would pay for. If he's any kind of man he should feel ashamed and offer to pay. He did. But I had money to pay my way. I always make sure I have money to pay my way. I don't expect anyone to pay for me. If he does that's fine. Shaming him in to it usually works. In your case I'd have left if he wasn't there within thirty minutes. Unless he said or called and said he was late and he was sorry. Common courtesies tell the tale on anyone not just men.
It's a forcast of what to expect in the future. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:03:19 AM | | Baldy...men have had it both ways for centuries...yes? Now it's our turn. Just because we wanted "equal rights" and by the way it's still not equal not by a long shot, doesn't mean we want to give up common courtesies. I try to treat ALL PEOPLE with respect from the first unless they give me reasons not to and even then I try to rise above but I am only human and occassionally have been known to "go off" as it were on people,not just men, who are disrespectful to me. I am not a carpet, after all. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:15:58 PM | Let's all remember this was a first date, or "meet" if you like. This poor guy probably had a thousand things going through his head. I highly doubt he was thinking, "Hey I'm not going to buy this woman a drink!"
From what you said you'd already had a few and then had one more. I'm guessing he's not the mind reader you thought he was, or he noticed you had already had plenty to drink.
It's a shame when people don't bother going out to just meet and learn about someone but rather to sum them up and expect them to pass tests. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:22:59 PM | Did he apologize for being late? If so, lay off him, if not, strike one for him.
Why would he offer to buy you a drink if you just sat there? I'm sorry, but sitting there with an empty glass for 30 mins tells me you don't want another drink. If you ordered another one, maybe I'd offer to pay for it. People give off 'vibes', you know. If you were so bloody fixated on him being 15 minutes late (after a 45 min drive. That drive alone says he was interested, but apparently you can't see that) and him not offering to buy you a drink, chances are pretty good that he could sense you weren't quite 'right'.
Based on what you've said, and given the fact this is one side of the situation, I'll say your priorities are all sorts of screwed up. Golddigger, maybe, maybe not. Other posters are right, this isn't the 50's, going dutch is common, and walking into a date expecting the other person to behave/perform a certain way is just a bad idea. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:36:59 PM | Why do gold-diggers and entitlement chicks get pissed when we call a spade a spade?
Actually, I think the date went sour because two self-absorbed personalities met.
OP: next time, don't wait, OR..........buy your own drinks!
He didn't ask for the drink and, therefore, was not obligated to re-pay. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:09:02 PM | Congratulations BaldyisBeautiful on being fortunate for your dates to offer to pick up the tab. I also think it's great that you have no problem buying drinks and dinner for a date.
BUT... HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WOMEN JUST WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Considering a lot of men are only looking for one thing , you think women are wrong to expect the respect of men buying us dinner or drinks at a minimum? Some of you pay hookers to give you what you want, so why shouldn't we expect a few dinners? We're worth it and chivalry isn't dead. Plus, if you're not willing to pay for a few dinners we just think you're one of those losers that just wants one thing and wouldn't be husband material anyway! Just because we want equality has nothing to do with the basic rules of men and women when it comes to dating. Not to mention... a few dinners makes a gold digger?
Suck it up guys and buy a few dinners... it's not gonna break ya! | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:29:08 PM |
BUT... HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WOMEN JUST WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Considering a lot of men are only looking for one thing , you think women are wrong to expect the respect of men buying us dinner or drinks at a minimum?
Yes. I don't think anyone should expect another person to pay for them. Especially on the first few dates. Unless a person directly states that he or she will pay the bill. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:04:57 PM | Why would you expect him to buy you a drink if you asked him out? Also, why is a guy "expected" to buy a woman a drink? If he'd asked you out to dinner, maybe then you can expect him to pay for it on a first date, but if you're just meeting at a bar for drinks, I don't think you should expect anyone to buy anything. You can be irritated that someone is late, but if you've already bought yourself a drink, he probably saw your glass, and figured he didn't need to offer.
Really, aren't we past this highschool bullsh*t with dating, as far as "expecting" certain things from the opposite gender? I guess not. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:34:15 PM | HE is a fool. Best to be rid of him. If it cost you a round of drinks, so be it. Not a bad price to pay to clear your path.
Perhaps in the future you could say up front "since this is just a meet and greet date, I think we should go dutch." That way you are only responsible for yourself, as is he. If there is no further interest, neither of you will feel put out except for whatever gas you used to drive there, and maybe a parking fee. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:39:55 PM |
Why would you expect him to buy you a drink if you asked him out? Also, why is a guy "expected" to buy a woman a drink?
I guess you missed the part where she said SHE BOUGHT THE FIRST ROUND, one drink for each of them. | |
|
p~s
|
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 65 | |
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:21:12 PM | doesn't feminism just suck
Who says women are all feminists?
There are liberal feminists and hard core feminists too. Liberal feminists just want the equal opportunity to vote and to be able to work outside the home, they aren't trying to take the mans role at all they just want to be recognised as human beings.
OP, you obviously bought the first round, it would only have been courteous of your date to offer to by you a drink in turn. Some people just have no manners. | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:08:05 PM |
Baldy...men have had it both ways for centuries...yes? Now it's our turn. Just because we wanted "equal rights" and by the way it's still not equal not by a long shot, doesn't mean we want to give up common courtesies. I try to treat ALL PEOPLE with respect from the first unless they give me reasons not to and even then I try to rise above but I am only human and occasionally have been known to "go off" as it were on people,not just men, who are disrespectful to me. I am not a carpet, after all.
I didn't realize you actually had to live through all those centuries of hardship. I had nothing to do with what happened before I was born and do not intend to be punished for it. Equal rights mean just that, equal....not "It's our turn". You want unequal rights in your favor, thats not how it works.
doesn't mean we want to give up common courtesies. I try to treat ALL PEOPLE with respect from the first unless they give me reasons not to
At least you got that right. Everybody deserves to be treated well.
BUT... HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WOMEN JUST WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Considering a lot of men are only looking for one thing , you think women are wrong to expect the respect of men buying us dinner or drinks at a minimum? Some of you pay hookers to give you what you want, so why shouldn't we expect a few dinners? We're worth it and chivalry isn't dead. Plus, if you're not willing to pay for a few dinners we just think you're one of those losers that just wants one thing and wouldn't be husband material anyway!
All your doing is trade one thing for another. Want to trade sex for dinner and you call that chivalry? Sounds more like a barter system to me.
We're worth it
I reserve the right to find out for myself. Thats why its called dating. There are a few women I took out that were definitely not worth it. Some are worth it, some are not. It's the process of finding that out.
Just because we want equality has nothing to do with the basic rules of men and women when it comes to dating.
Oh now we have to abide by rules? Let me guess, your rules? I don't need someone to tell me how I am suppose to date. I get to decide for myself.
| |
|
Jim978
|
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 67 | |
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:03:38 AM |
BUT... HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT WOMEN JUST WANT THEIR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO! Considering a lot of men are only looking for one thing , you think women are wrong to expect the respect of men buying us dinner or drinks at a minimum? Some of you pay hookers to give you what you want, so why shouldn't we expect a few dinners?
So a hooker puts out for cash and you put out for a few free dinners? Is that what you are really trying to say here? That pretty much just makes you a hooker too, doesn't it? | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:02:07 AM | | I have to agree some of your comments sound like you expected a free ride. I agree that he should have at least offered to buy you a drink. On the flip side, had you given him any comments or actions which showed him what you expected? Do you not think 15 mins late is ok? Maybe im wrong however this guy drove to meet you in your city, had to park ....oh ya guess you are right 15mins totally rude (NOT). Maybe if you compare the total price of his journey and amount of his efforts made and then take insight into your actions and efforts. Are they even in your eyes? I like ambitious, hardworking and independant men this does not make me a gold digger. I support myself- I decide to dress up. Why would a guy need to pay more than half? Maybe i have read it wrong did you pay towards the travel expenses? How far did you travel ? | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/14/2009 6:12:49 AM | | I never took a dime from a women an never will.... now homemade pies,cakes,cookies thats a differant story...... money takers are big in florida young guys with old ladies...the old ladies are happy to have someone an they understand its going to cost a few bucks...hell they got it to spend.... | |
|
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/14/2009 8:07:41 AM | [/BUT .... with that said. It can't help but come to my mind that people want everything their way. What I mean by that is that for years women fought the good fight for equal rights so that you ladies today could have things easier, and I applaud those women, but now women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to be considered as equals in all things that a man can do, but at the same time they wish to still be treated like ladies.]
Not all women fought for equal rights and yet everytime a woman desires to be treated like a lady, men seem to use that as an excuse. And I believe that is what it is.....excuses. We are living with decisions made by women in the past. I didn't fight for equal rights and don't want to be judged by that either. There are men who have fought for gay marriage. Does that give me the right to say that all men support gay marriage or even that all men are gay? I don't want to be rude, but I would be as angry as the so-called "Golddigger". | |
|
| |
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/15/2009 12:39:50 PM | I think the first thing is not to have expectations at all and to be self-sufficient. So if you go on a date (regardless if it’s your first), don’t e-x-p-e him to do anything and then judge him based on what you expected.
This follows suite with being self-sufficient as if you expect him to pay then, you are simply setting yourself up for a disappointment. If you do end up getting disappointed, guess whose fault THAT is? | |
|
| |
| Called a golddigger because I expect a man to buy me a drink?
Posted: 6/16/2009 9:22:38 AM | Why sweat the small stuff????
although it's not polite to be late, it happends.....
1st date, you should be paying for your own drink anyways, if you wanted another one, why didn't you just order it?
There are alot more serious situations out there, feel happy that this is your only problem!!! | |
|
| |
Home
login 
