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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 10:22:20 AM | Why do we want guys to come to us? Because it's attractive.
Then, by that stream of logic, would women be unattractive for not being pursuant?
I mean, if you want to be respected as an equal to men, then logic would follow that in order for that to happen, one would need to, behave in an equal fashion.
So, the question then becomes, "Do you behave equal to a man, where you can be equal?"
Then you'll get your answer if you are indeed equal to a man.
Some woman, are, some aren't.
I'll stick to the opinion that a woman who requires that men pursue them do it for the simple reasons of, it validates them as "uniquely worthy" , "above the rest".
It preserves their ego by greatly mitigating the opportunity to be flat out rejected.
Oh, ya....and then there the "the one who asks, pays B.S."....
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EDIT: ( Thanks for the reminder, Colonel..)
Women and men are equally drawn to each other, it's [antiquated] social conditioning that inhibits women from acting upon their desires and requires it of men... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 10:42:03 AM | Unfortunately I still think the majority of men and women are living according to watching how their elders did the mating game.
This is where the man pursues the woman. I still think that men like to be the more aggressive one. I'm not saying that men don't want a woman to reciprocate by wanting them too, but I really believe according to the experiences that I have seen and experienced, the majority of men are and want to be the pursuer.
Women will make the choice as to which pursuer she chooses (if she even has more than one choice at a time LOL).
I think the woman as pursuer works better in person. Online, it seems to suck. Unfortunately for some of us, we don't want to wait around because we think we are "above the rest".
The whole point is that once you meet a great person, start a relationship, that person becomes above the rest anyway!
As for equal, well I'm not even going to argue whether I'm equal to a man. He is better in some ways and I am better in others. To me it should blend nicely to make a new composition. And I'm not saying that either of us has any less to offer hehe. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 10:47:16 AM | ^^^^ What "social conditioning"?
Surely they've all heard a zillion times over the last couple of decades that it's Ok for a gal to take the initiative, and that many men would positively appreciate it. But it still never happens, and you can still hear them declaring that it's the man who has to do the persuing and chasing, that it's his job.
In other words, the social conditioning has vanished (except to the extent that women themselves maintain it), but the behavior remains the same. So it must be an internal inhibition. At least this seems more reasonable to me. Mating behaviors are very deep-seated biologically.
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 11:20:24 AM |
But it still never happens
It does happen though. I can't say it happens all the time. But I can say that 'never' isn't accurate. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 11:21:57 AM | In other words, the social conditioning has vanished (except to the extent that women themselves maintain it), but the behavior remains the same. So it must be an internal inhibition. At least this seems more reasonable to me. Mating behaviors are very deep-seated biologically.
I think it may be a combination of both. I've used the example of my niece running away from the boy next door; he leaves p*ssed off only to return 5 minutes later to chase her again. This is behaviour from 7-10 year olds? Where are they learning this?
And yes it still happens. I pursue men all the time. I do millions of times better in person, but when I see a man I like, I go for him. Online, I try to do that and it never ever works. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 3:52:01 PM | ^^
I also do better in person. Not one e-mail I've sent to a man here (or any other dating site) has gotten me a date. Most of my attempts don't even get a reply.
Mariachi -- Thx hun...I appreciate the compliment and ego boost
No problem, I do that call it as I see it thing, too.
Told me directly that they will not ever in their life chase a man, because then she'd be expected to pay for all or part of the date...and they will have none of that.
I think for me "chasing" means still pursuing a guy long after he's told you he ain't the least little bit interested.
One gains nothing if they don't try. In reality, all I do is try. So I guess it's not so much "the thrill of the chase" but the thrill of the try. Hah!
I do have that he asks, he pays mentality, but to go along with it, I have a strict policy of paying when I've done the asking. For me, it's the only fair way to go... and since I do do the asking quite a lot it IS actually fair in the end.
Unfortunately I still think the majority of men and women are living according to watching how their elders did the mating game.
Quite possible. Some of us though (like myself) had excruciatingly bad examples to follow. I'd sooner die alone and risk being gnawed upon by my pets than follow some of the examples set for me. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:06:26 PM |
Listen OP men have never had power............we just make you guys think you do............Wars from the beginning of time were fought because of women...........case and point why werent women in the battle fields because we were at home saying JACK thinks I love him but I love his best friend who I have been screwing for the past 6 months..............yeah keep believing that women are the weaker species and yes we will let you believe it but let me tell you the world revolves around PU$$Y........
LOL love this girl! besides weren't women worshipped as God's at one point....actually some of us still are.... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:07:47 PM | humptythump
We can and do have it both ways i.e. cake and eat it too..men have been doing if for centuries...sucks when it's on the other foot..doesn't it? lol | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 4:52:45 PM |
I do have that he asks, he pays mentality, but to go along with it, I have a strict policy of paying when I've done the asking. For me, it's the only fair way to go... and since I do do the asking quite a lot it IS actually fair in the end.
That's a good way to look at it, however I think don't ever count the first few dates really. And to be honest, I think a man does still ask me out more, so I can't really follow that rule.
I just go with the flow, expect to pay my share and if he does pay, accept kindly and treat him next time. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:27:04 PM | OP: Here is my take on why females, for the most part, demand that men do the pursuing (not in any particular order).
1. Power - yes, females feel a sense of power from having men pursue them.
2. Arrogance - females think that blank between their legs makes them special - it does not.
3. Females do not want to be in a position to explicitly reveal how superficial they really are. By playing the passive target, they get to use the "you're not my type" argument without showing how looks-obsessed they are.
4. This gives females the opportunity to whine about how bad men are when they get approached by men who they see as beneath them.
5. This gives females the opportunity to use the "the one who asks pays" argument to avoid paying for dates.
6. Immaturity - 99.999% of females (at least in the U.S.) are too immature to be woman enough to actually ask a man out.
7. Self delusion - they convince themselves that men want to do the asking, and go even further by creating this moronic argument in their empty heads that men won't go out with females who ask.
8. Evil - some females get a perverse pleasure from publicly rejecting men in a degrading and demeaning manner.
Fortunately for females, men know that they have to do the asking and have bought into the social programming that the outcome is worth the effort, even when they have enough evidence to show that it is not. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 6:59:58 PM |
1. Power - yes, females feel a sense of power from having men pursue them.
I would think there's more power (real or imagined) in the woman doing the pursuing. But maybe I'm just really strange.
2. Arrogance - females think that blank between their legs makes them special - it does not.
I think it makes me special, but not better. I could make an argument for men's parts being special, too though.
4. This gives females the opportunity to whine about how bad men are when they get approached by men who they see as beneath them.
I'm fairly pleased that since I'm getting older and that is supposed to be a bad thing, I get approached at all. Always flattered.. regardless of whether or not I am interested.
7. Self delusion - they convince themselves that men want to do the asking, and go even further by creating this moronic argument in their empty heads that men won't go out with females who ask.
I think some do, but I'm not nearly stupid enough to NOT approach a guy I am really keen on. I'd rather fail than never try. I think the percentage of men who think it's too forward of a woman to ask is really small, but I know it exists.. I've had the mis-fortune of hitting on a few of them. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:19:25 PM |
I think it makes me special, but not better. I could make an argument for men's parts being special, too though. I'm calling your bluff. Prove me wrong. Use many paragraphs to make your argument, and include some flattering comparisons, if you would. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:36:36 PM | Now, now..Outmind..don't get too comfortable with that...
Mother Nature always looks after her females....we are very important in the scheme of things...
Power?? We always have had the power...the power to say..UH UH, not in my lifetime...or Hmmm...or...Yes, darling!...to the man that wins our hearts... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/11/2009 7:56:35 PM | | Im from the country..and well i had this problem there per say. When i moved to halifax i noticed you have to do more work.. Havent felt the proper mojo since. And to be honest..im sick of these one way street. I need open fields. (translation) The girl that Smiles and says hello..and winks. Will always..ALWAYS get the best from me. I pity the rest..they must have horrible sex lives. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:20:43 PM |
I'm calling your bluff. Prove me wrong. Use many paragraphs to make your argument, and include some flattering comparisons, if you would.
I can't use MANY paragraphs, but since women don't have a penis.. there's a specialness to that, no? I think so.
I think men's units compare favorably to corn cobs, cucumbers... is that what you meant? I'm not sure what to compare men's members to as the members are a helluva lot more fun than anything I can compare them to.
Basically.. you guys have one component of the baby-making stuff and we women have the baby-making cookware. Whether either of our genders take advantage of our baby-making abilities and simply use our parts for fun, all the parts are special. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/12/2009 3:47:39 PM | | If I post here and in the thread "Do women really have anything to offer but their bodies?" will I have collected all of recup's fabulous troll posts? | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:40:47 PM |
Females do not want to be in a position to explicitly reveal how superficial they really are.
Do you mean just as superficial as males in that we want the visual to be appealing too?
Yes, I'll admit to that no problem. I don't want to date the person I find ugly? Who does? | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:16:21 PM | If nothing else the thing its pretty simple why women want guys come to them.
The person who does the approaching is in the disatvantaged position because is the one "wanting something" in an obvious manner under the spotlight. Right? When you go and look for a job you are the one who is obedient to the employer till you can prove the contrary. (in case someone is listening to you) Right?
So making the approach you need to make your case. Like why are you there...what do you want...Explain yourself. speak up and reveal more information about yourself then the listener..Bla-Bla....Face arrogance, rejection, etc.
When this happens the sweet taste of power shows up and the "ass itching issues" are at their climax.
I like approaching girls in Mexico and my home land. Why ? Because at least they respond to you. I let the rest for you guys, I don't compete on those ones, you can have them all. (fat, overweight, less overweight, more overweight, beautiful, super beautiful, Miss "this" and Miss "that"..take them all..) | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:24:20 PM | Actually I' m just not talking to you because you're ugly and your personality sucks...she says LOL!
OP...back for more huh?
Power you say? Hmmm...probably. For people like yourself.
You're trying to neatly compartmentalize the dance of humanity. I doubt you'll achieve your goal any time soon.
If a woman is low on compliments...chances are she's just not that into you...period.
At least that's how it works for me. Being called "hot" or whatever means squat to the discerning female. Power in that? Nada. | |
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