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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:09:20 AM | When a man says your beautiful or your hot there is a motive behind that. Whether you wish to admit it or not. While you may think this is a compliment to a woman it seldom is in reality. They have a mirror they know how they look and they realize that compliment has more to do with genetics than something they did or accomplished. So this really isn’t a compliment on something she has accomplished or done on her own! Compliments are best given when the recipient had earned the compliment and it isn’t something heard as a pick up line “oh so often”
While your beautiful or stunning or what ever have you are words based in feeling and feelings are based in emotions they are seldom a reflection of truth or actuality. If you wish to compliment a woman do so in a manner that picks out something real and earned and not just a visualization which if often cheesy anyway.
And what makes you think that you or any other man is so important or impressive that a woman would go out of their way to want to have power or control over you anyway?
They only have sex to offer? Interesting and very shallow viewpoint. That is one sure reason that a relationship will wither and fall by the way side. There has GOT to be more there than that to keep one going. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 9:49:02 AM | When a man says your beautiful or your hot there is a motive behind that.
Duh...
People say things for a reason??
Better call CNN...
And are the male "motives" different than when a woman compliments a man on his desirability?
Whether you wish to admit it or not.
If I told a woman I thought she was sexy as hell, then that would be an admission, in, and of itself, n'est pas?...
While you may think this is a compliment to a woman it seldom is in reality.
Pfffft....Now you're blowin' smoke....
See how happy the object of your desire is when you STOP complementing her....
I'll stick to complementing her, and following up quickly by my actions......it's never failed me yet....
They have a mirror they know how they look and they realize that compliment has more to do with genetics than something they did or accomplished.
Why do you have to only value her for her "accomplishments"? You can't be thankful, appreciative and desirous of her for her physical beauty??
You learn something new every day....
So this really isn’t a compliment on something she has accomplished or done on her own!
Then you take for granted how much effort women actually do take to maintain and beautify themselves...
Compliments are best given when the recipient had earned the compliment and it isn’t something heard as a pick up line “oh so often”
Compliments are only banal when they come from those who she does not want to hear them from. But there's not a woman alive that I can think of that doesn't want to be thought highly of, by the man she is in a relationship with.
While your beautiful or stunning or what ever have you are words based in feeling and feelings are based in emotions they are seldom a reflection of truth or actuality.
I think that statement can only be made if one has never been made to feel truly unique by another...
If you wish to compliment a woman do so in a manner that picks out something real and earned and not just a visualization which if often cheesy anyway.
I'll stick to what works for me, thanks...
And what makes you think that you or any other man is so important or impressive that a woman would go out of their way to want to have power or control over you anyway?
What they admit to...
They only have sex to offer? Interesting and very shallow viewpoint.
No, just a myopic perspective of reality.
I choose "her" to be the one I want to have sex with because of all the other aspects of her that make her uniquely attractive to me, above the others.
Sex [itself] is hardly a rare commodity....
That is one sure reason that a relationship will wither and fall by the way side.
No.
There has GOT to be more there than that to keep one going.
Somewhat agreed, but, I can't think of too many more potent relationship killers than sex....
Because I'm so self sufficient and self reliant, I could definitely tolerate a long term relationship that was centered mainly on attraction and a truly unique sexual chemistry. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 10:04:16 AM | Why women want guys to come to THEM?
Well, it's kind of ingrained in us from an early age, especially in women of my generation. That said, a lot of us have broken out of the mold and do initiate equally often, but it's a struggle.
When I was "fishing" often I would just click and add to favs, so he'd know I was interested. Much "safer" and less intrusive, and if he wasn't interested, less of a rejection for me.
Out in the world, I did employ "hints," not too subtle, because most men aren't intuitive and you have to hit them with a two by four to get their attention. 
Giggle.
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:11:02 PM | you know what im so like that when i like a guy if he makes me speachless i wont show it cuz it is a power thing i agree with u i dnt want the guy thinking he has control over me before we have even started
i dont agree that we r the weaker sex i must admit i can be sumtimes lol but women can go through child labor work and look after kids women in ways r stronger then men and i think thats y men get muscles etc cuz they feel intimidated ( cnt spell to save me life lol ) | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:12:37 PM | you know what im so like that when i like a guy if he makes me speachless i wont show it cuz it is a power thing i agree with u i dnt want the guy thinking he has control over me before we have even started
i dont agree that we r the weaker sex i must admit i can be sumtimes lol but women can go through child labor work and look after kids women in ways r stronger then men and i think thats y men get muscles etc cuz they feel intimidated ( cnt spell to save me life lol ) | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:15:53 PM |
Women, weaker creatures, already feel a loss of power
Just the very fact you can't figure out how to quote, (even thouh the instructions are right next to your eyes) shows you are the weaker one, geez! LEARN HOW TO QUOTE! doesn't work here! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 12:51:22 PM |
islandfires: When a man says your beautiful or your hot there is a motive behind that. Whether you wish to admit it or not. While you may think this is a compliment to a woman it seldom is in reality. They have a mirror they know how they look and they realize that compliment has more to do with genetics than something they did or accomplished. So this really isn’t a compliment on something she has accomplished or done on her own! Compliments are best given when the recipient had earned the compliment and it isn’t something heard as a pick up line “oh so often”
While your beautiful or stunning or what ever have you are words based in feeling and feelings are based in emotions they are seldom a reflection of truth or actuality. If you wish to compliment a woman do so in a manner that picks out something real and earned and not just a visualization which if often cheesy anyway.
And what makes you think that you or any other man is so important or impressive that a woman would go out of their way to want to have power or control over you anyway?
They only have sex to offer? Interesting and very shallow viewpoint. That is one sure reason that a relationship will wither and fall by the way side. There has GOT to be more there than that to keep one going.
Thank you for putting it so perfectly. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:43:32 PM | Interesting idea that women do not want to relinquish power. Don't know if I agree with it or not but a new thought is always welcome.
When I read the thread title I immediately thought of the saying: "He chased her until she caught him."  | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/13/2009 3:17:44 PM | OK so, humptyhump1984...what you're saying is, a woman can't have equality AND have a responsible GENTLEMAN who opens doors, pulls out chairs, isn't a bum (makes money/has a job AT LEAST), and meets physical/sexual attraction requirements?
So we can only have one or the other? And men get to have both? Men get to have this dream woman who's gorgeous, good in bed, cooks, cleans, bears their children, AND get to have careers/go to work while their gorgeous little nympho is at home with the kids?
Mmmkay...
Anyway, in my view, this is how it should be...men should come after women. It's only natural. I don't chase men. I did once in my life with a particular guy, but it didn't work. And I've seen with some of my girlfriends in their 'relationships', that when a woman does chase a man, rarely does it ever work out. What's so wrong with men being men? Why don't men want to be men anymore? They want the woman to come to their house, pay for their dates, etc...it's pathetic, and I don't see how you can even look at yourself and call yourself a man. (not humpty in particular, just men in general who are mama's boys). | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:24:20 PM | I couldn't agree more with your post, common sense, modern and up to date ....this is 2009. I too, am happy to share costs, if he offers it's nice and if he insists on paying then thats ok too, hell it's just nice for it to be offered don't you think? I like to shout a meal or drink just like they do but it's a 2 way street
I have a problem with men who never offer and always pay for their own drinks and meal, regardless of who asked out who. Why would anyone want to go out with someone just for them to pay for the meal or drink........what a way to eat, if thats all its for. We are not all that shallow, give us a break. I say don't take anyone out until you have some idea of what they are like. A coffee or chat somewhere can soon sort that out with little cost involved.
As for the last part of your post, all I can say is: applause: | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:39:03 PM | | I guess I am weird. I don't want men to come to me, unless it's random and without agenda. I try to discourage it but it still happens - in my case men who approach me with interest are never my type, so they're better off not bothering. If I am interested in a guy, I can see him, I know where to find him... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:51:28 PM | | Women want guys to come to them????? That's odd!!!!! I have never come to a woman... it's not a power thing. I have always figured that women are only interested in good looking well endowled guys. or guy that have alot of money. I just considered it the natural order of things. so knowing that i never think about or consider what women want. and it help know my chances with getting a woman.. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 4:55:22 PM |
I try to discourage it but it still happens
i have the same situation. men approach me frequently ~ nearly everywhere i go. i let them know up front that i have no interest in dating. so they act like it's ok to just hang out and do stuff together. but each and every one of them has it in the back of their mind that i really do want a relationship. it's like they just don't get that a woman could possibly not want a romance! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 5:17:29 PM | | I'm not sure if it's been mentioned yet, but isn't it equally as awesome when a woman comes to a man? Who doesn't enjoy the feeling of being appreciated and being the subject of someone's interest? I don't think that power or weakness or any of that stuff is relevant. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:00:59 PM |
I guess I am weird. I don't want men to come to me, unless it's random and without agenda. I try to discourage it but it still happens - in my case men who approach me with interest are never my type, so they're better off not bothering. If I am interested in a guy, I can see him, I know where to find him...
Then we are both weird. I get the same thing on here. I'm rarely interested in most of the men that contact me. In person however, I can usually "score" better LOL.
As for the favs thing, I tried that too, obviously it wasn't direct enough......so I quit using it. Now there's no sense in how I'm using it thanks to the fav collectors. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/14/2009 7:30:22 PM |
The bottom line is, females don't have anything to offer a man but SEX because he doesn't need anything else BEING STRONG AND SELF-SUFFICIENT, so whatever she offers other than sex (caringness, emotional connections, etc) is useless. She instinctively knows this and feels humiliated about it, so seeks to pretend she has something to offer, so if males don't see THAT, but instead get happiness from sex, voila, she's pissed.
This explains ALL her behavior.
Is this why the OP left the building, so sad to have such a brilliant mind decide to go to another sandbox. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 12:59:47 PM | | It seems to me there is a difference, generally, between men and women and it's that when a man wants a woman, he wants the woman. If he gets her, he's got what he wants. A woman wants to be wanted regardless. There is something about being wanted in and of itself she likes. The man who wants her is providing that. She has what she wanted already without being got. Online and at bars and everywhere, women show up to be wanted. They want to be attractive, which is different than wanting the men they might attract. Being attractive is the goal itself. In another thread here a woman said it was vanity. Maybe so, but whatever it is, it could explain make-up. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:09:42 PM | | Not my experience at all. Most men won"t bother to tell you they like anything about you ,unless of course they are trying to get sex. Once they have you they forget to say any of those things ever again. Women don't say much even though they would like to, because the guy will get frightened off, he will think the woman likes him to much and god forbid that should happen! He runs off scared of any impending committment! That has been my experience anyway. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:17:07 PM | | I dont chase after men, I am just not one of those women that jumps on every guy that walks by. They have to come to me, if they are to "weak" then I wouldnt want to meet them anyway. With all that women have to put up with and endure in this life, the least a man can do is to be the one to approach us! lol! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:21:40 PM | | Love your reply outofmind. It's not a power game at all and those who played, usually lose. I will never think less of someone who come to me and express his sincere feeling nor men should think less of women who showed interest in them right away. This men (some) mentality should change if they want to find the right person and a chance for happiness. What I see happening here and other online dating sites (and in person) is a lot of mind games. Stop the mind games and start being truthful. Those who can handle the truth can handle anything. Good luck everyone! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:25:29 PM | | I always say "Thank you" when given a compliment. We analyze things too much. Just enjoy it. At least someone has taken the time to compliment me:) That ultimate positive thinker side of me. lol | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:33:25 PM | OP...RECUP....This is the same crackhead who wrote a few days ago about women having nothing more to offer men than their bodies....
So sorry if someone else already mentioned this...I didn't read everyone's post. I thought this one looked familiar! Gotta hand it to him for getting the crowds going...once again... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 6/17/2009 5:44:07 PM | Much of it has to do with the "princess mentality". "Look at me, look at me, look at me." If a female is avarage looks or above, she is bombarded with emails, IM's, phone calls, approached and asked out for dates, given attention in an unrealistic way. But that's the way they like it. They can pick and choose. There is NO EFFORT in that. On the net they sort, scan, choose, unread, delete, ignore, reject, block! IRL, the same, approached by so many good, decent males, but.........NOPE, YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH! REJECT! The males come TO THEM and they love it that way.
Society, on both sides of the fence, has always pushed and forced the idea that that's the way it MUST BE, as it always has been, that males must accept the challenge to do all the work, thought, effort, trying, approaching, asking, pursueing. As long as MOST of society holds to this viewpoint, it will never change. I thought that TWO people, TWO human beings were involved in a first meeet, a date, a relationship, a live-in together, or a marriage. So why then MUST IT BE that it's only proper for JUST THE MALE to do the pursueing???
I know there will be several posts from females that will SWEAR that "oh, I always approach and pursue the male". Not, nope, nada, never, nupe, zero, zilch, etc., etc. Sure, when a female sees a well-to-do guy, business owner, or rich playboy with the speedboat, motorcycle, or biggest four wheel drive, then SHE approaches HIM. She sees the THINGS she wants. To be seen in and on them. And only then. Wonderful dating world, isn't it? | |
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