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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:01:20 AM | I am Not reading all 66 pages of this thread! noooooooooooooooo way! 
That said ..
OT - it is Biology. Men and women Are different - Generally speaking of course! IF women were capable of procreating as much and as often as men we'd have no time for anything else and our species would end up like those poor little lemurs that routinely suicide about half the pack due to severe overpopulation. 
Regardless .. I Like the fact that we are different. And I like it when a man who is interested in me isn't afraid to show it.
That said - I have initiated contact a FEW times - esp on this site .. Funny how so many are asceered to say "hello" back ..
Hello! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:08:35 AM | These should be something we all agree on ....
1) The core issue with dating is most will continue to behave as they see fit. Whether one agrees with specific behavior or not doesn't matter. It’s not really worth getting your blood pressure up arguing with someone that will never understand, let alone see merit, in your position (this goes to all sides—I’m not immune, no one is).
2) People will date whom they want and how they want, according to whatever criteria they feel important. To some this could be as simple as instant physical attraction and as lengthy as a Ph.D. dissertation.
3) Dating dysfunction is in the eye of the beholder, and no two people may agree on what constitutes it or see the same flaws. I say dysfunction, since happy, stress-free, “functioning” relationships, no matter what they’re based on, don’t need to be “helped”, do they?
The back and fourths in here just snip at the fringes of the fundamental differences many have with the wider, more important subject: What it takes to find a secure, happy, satisfying relationship that stands the test of time (and that’s over “years”, people; weeks or months don't count...those are "flings", not serious relationships). | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:19:31 AM | You know, as in Zangie's post earlier on, why is it so wrong? Anything that worked before the 70's is now labelled with all sorts of "isms."
I was of the era of burning bras, too. Idealism was rampant. Still is.
We beat the sh*it out of our familylife, values and it's structure because of ideals. We invented all sorts of words/names/labels to excuse the bashing of our foundation. Words like "stereotypes, political correctness,
Take this ~
It is acceptable that boys who were fascinated with "girly" things like shoes, clothes, dolls can now come out and admit that they are gay or that they would like a sex change. It is acceptable to believe that this was inherent in these boys from birth. The very idea of trying to wipe out their liking of feminine things and to try and make "boys" out of them is abhorrent! It would just confuse the poor little boys!
Very PC.
Yet....little girls who are born with this natural attraction to "girly" things are now told that it was social conditioning from their parents. They're not born this way!!! we are told by the social dictators of the idealistic ism.
We are now encouraged to treat them like boys. Don't buy them dolls, shoes, purses, jewllery, sparkly things and it will make better people out of them. Expose them to boy things!
Confused little girls we have now today? Yep. Go and sit for a couple days in Juvenile Court. It will blow your mind. According to experts in the fields of child issues, the alarming trend of teen female violence has escalated to the point that they are wondering what the heck went wrong. Let's look at the propaganda about families and children for the last twenty years. Sometimes hindsight is better than foresight.
My daughter was born a "girly girl" one hundred percent. It started on her first week of life. I am sure she understood what I saying. "You like pink..."
I gave her every chance to do anything she wanted and exposed her to sports etc. She turned out to be athletically gifted, but, she is still all girly girl in everything else.
What is wrong with that? IMO not a darn thing at all.
In fact, I did what was right. I allowed her to be her. Equality wasn't a card that I played. What for? To create a role that I wanted for her? No, I allowed her to follow her instincts about people, life, sex, and what she wanted to do in life. She has made some fabulous choices in her life and she is happy because she followed who she was and not some preconcieved idea of what I figured she should be.
Being responsible was something that I taught her. I taught her good core values that have been taught to children for hundreds of years. It has nothing to do with equality. I taught her that if you really liked doing something and that you enjoyed it, make it a career. You might as well get paid for doing it. She has. I didn't play the equality card with that either.
She has met and married someone who is what every mother wants for her daughter plus more. Mature, responsible, intelligent, caring, loving, has a great career and is eager to start a family as she is, too. No confusion there.
I treated my son exactly the same way as I treated my daughter, no more, no less.
He was born all boy. Going concern from birth. Crawled at 4 months just so that he could reach a truck! Anything that moved, had wheels or was noisy, he loved.
When I showed him things that were traditionally girly, he just gave it a glance and went back to doing what he found interesting. I didn't push it. Why? He had no interest.
Today he is a responsible man who is happy. He's finally found the One and is considering marriage next year.
There are many men and women on here who are making poor choices. They have such anger at the opposite gender. Are they confused? Maybe they are.
Are we, as a generation, able to be humble and say that we made mistakes resulting from ill thought out idealisms?
Can we say that making a gender the same as the other gender will be a disaster?
We already know what happens to gay people who had parents trying to make them back into something that they weren't. The psych's couches and rosters are filled with confused people.
If I had tried to make my son girly and my daughter a tomboy, I would be doing them a severe injustice to who they really were.
I am not confusing what equality is about.
Equal opportunity is the healthy equality for all.
Making the genders same thinking and same acting is a cruel and deliberate science experiment. That is not equality. Celebrate our differences. It is what Nature always intended.
Allow men their natural tendencies in the mating/dating scene and allow women their natural tendencies in the mating/dating game.
Then there is no confusion. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 7:53:31 AM | | Belle_lass, Children aren't born with preconceived notions of masculinity and femininity, that's something they learn through conformity. Your daughter liking sports doesn't make her manly, it makes her your daughter who likes sports. If your son had liked dolls, it wouldn't have made him effeminate or gay, it would have simply made him your son who likes dolls. I think you are confused about what equality is. It's about eradicating sexism, which you propagate plenty of. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:10:38 AM | Savona wrote ...
I like men with BALLS .... well enough balls to ask me out. Oppps did I say balls again, I meant confidence. Although I do like big balls .... hahaha
Savona, NO NO NO. Analogy taken too far. Way too far. Big balls make life too difficult. Interfere with walking, always in the way, and they're a pain in the ass (well, not exactly ass) when participating in sports. Rather have no balls than deal with too large.
What you want is a man with appropriately sized balls that knows how to use what God gave him -- how's that for extending the analogy?
TK
{p.s., congrats on the grandson. First? Everybody doin' well? tk} | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:13:28 AM |
I put it in quotes to indicate it was exactly what I recall being repeated to me. And no, it was a very specific and insidious lesson in how not to be a slut. You may find it ambiguous, but I can assure that neither I nor my parents were unclear that the bottom line was "do not ask boys out".
To suggest this was not a message in "do not call boys" would be akin to believing the 1972 Summit Series was "just a hockey tournament" and did not have any political undertones to it.
As to the relevance of the second part. I thought "don't call boys" was a ridiculous stance - especially during the times of "burning bras" and equality protests on our TV set each night - and we had many debates in our house about gender equality, roles, human potential and what it means to be a human being. At the same time as my parents were telling me not to buck society by calling boys, they were also both telling me to expect to pay my own way in life. My father, who I suspect had issues with "entitlement princesses" put it as "Don't expect some man is going to come along to pay for you just because you were born with breasts" and my mother voiced it as "Don't fall into the trap of relying on a man to pay for you because you'll be in trouble if it goes sideways later on"
^^ These were conflicting messages within my own family and spoke to a double standard as well as conflicting ideas about roles and responsibilities. My father told me to wait it out, times hadn't changed yet, at some point in the future the double standards would be sorted out... until then, build your career and don't call boys!
As you made the transition from "waiting to be asked out" to doing some of "the asking" yourself, did you run into that stigma of being considered, as you put it, a slut?
I would guess yes (not calling you a slut, just that you may have been considered one by the more ignorant of men).
The reason I ask is that I see that sort of thing happening here in this very thread, except it's some men being stigmatized as having "no balls" because they wonder why they are expected to always pursue. I'm just pointing out the parallel here, and I suspect that is part of the answer to the irony you mention in the below quote:
How ironic we are still debating these social constructs and roles some 30 odd years later. My daughter is a decade younger than you x_file, were I to suggest to her not to call a boy or that he should pay for dates, she would be shocked at the sexism. And quite rightly too.
We are still debating this SPECIFIC issue because as long as some people keep adhering to what they've probably been conditioned to do, think, and expect concerning pursuit, we'll keep having this debate, and probably hit that 80 page plateau. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:14:32 AM | Hey OP,
Since I'm in marketing, I love research. So here's a potential answer to your question:
An Article that takes place in the Speed dating world:
"We've long been told that women are more selective when it comes to the men they choose to date.
But what if at least a part of that selectivity is due simply to environmental factors and social norms - factors that could be easily manipulated? For instance, might approaching - rather than being approached - in a dating situation make individuals less selective?
Finkel & Eastwick (2009) set about to answer just that question with an experiment designed to test whether a potential partner's "choosiness" was due in part to whether they were the ones doing the choosing or not. They corralled 350 college students into 15 speed dating events for their study. Participants went on 4 minute "speed dates" with approximately 12 opposite-sex individuals during each event. After each date, participants rated their romantic desire and romantic chemistry for that partner, as well as how much self-confidence they felt that had on that particular "date."
The researchers found that the speed daters who approached their partners relative to those who stayed sitting would experience a greater romantic desire and chemistry toward their partners, and were more likely to respond "Yes, I would see this person again" to their partners. In other words, the people who rotated from person to person were less selective than those sitting, regardless of which gender was doing the rotating.
When men rotated, women (the ones sitting) were more selective. But when women did the rotating, men (the ones sitting) were more selective. Nothing else changed in the experiment, so it was the act of doing the approaching (or being approached) that helped determine a person's selectivity toward their partner. " | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:15:01 AM | roninvince.
My daughter was born girly girl. I did not teach her to be that way.
Why do you think what I am saying is false? Do you have proof?
Same as that little gay boy who liked all things girly from birth. I mean, who taught him that? I am sure his mother and father didn't. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:20:58 AM | sammylg.
This speed dating has rules, parameters and boundaries that is not like the real world.
See what online dating has done. Read the threads. Online dating is skewed and it has finally shown itself as that. Ideally, it should work and sometimes does, but not in huge #'s.
It simply is not like relating, meeting and dating in the real world. | |
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PiggyT
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Joined: 9/14/2009
Msg: 1623 | |
| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:31:49 AM | Sitting here literally saying
WOW
WOW
WOW
my head is shaking. lol. I think there are WAY too many people needing to get laid. I am 100% serious about that.
Dating site people.... DATING site... not b*tching and moaning site... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:45:28 AM |
Belle_lass, Children aren't born with preconceived notions of masculinity and femininity, that's something they learn through conformity
Uh ronvince...I have to disagree with you on this one..maybe some things are learned from comformity...but, some things are ingrained, and biological and nature...sex drives and preferences are one instance...who we are at our core is something we are born with...environment can influence us...but, it doesn't make us...it isn't all about one or the other, but, both...
I was the oldest child in my family...my mother says I was born liking shoes and purses...there was no one to conform to...some masucline and feminine behaviors are ingrained...and you cannot force people of either gender to conform to something that isn't natural for them, or feels off...PEOPLE are born with natural likes and dislikes, which sometimes cross gender lines, sometimes do not...
There is certainly enough science to back that up...
Not being sexist does not, in my opinion, mean trying to clone people to behave exactly the same, or insisting that they can't be either feminine or masculine...that would be an extreme I can not agree with...
Treating people fairly has nothing to do with what gender they are, or who's gender is better.... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 8:50:53 AM | | Piggy: only speak for myself...but the forums are entirely separate to me from the dating side...I don't date off the forums for the most part ( not many in my area are even on them)..this is where I just talk about it..lol... | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:04:05 AM |
my head is shaking. lol. I think there are WAY too many people needing to get laid. I am 100% serious about that
sigh .. and I would have to agree ..
I would also suggest that When 'we' STOP with the battle of the sexes, Stop trying to one up on each other, STOP competing and comparing and Start cooperating and celebrating our male/female differences - more of us would .. get laid ..
OT
Why do Most women want guys to come to Them?
Biology101 | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:18:04 AM |
my head is shaking. lol. I think there are WAY too many people needing to get laid. I am 100% serious about that
sigh .. and I would have to agree ..
I would also suggest that When 'we' STOP with the battle of the sexes, Stop trying to one up on each other, STOP competing and comparing and Start cooperating and celebrating our male/female differences - more of us would .. get laid ..
I'm reminded of an old saying : If you want to get laid, crawl up a 40 ft chickens ass, and wait ! 
I LOVE the differences between men and women, wouldn't have it any other way !! | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:19:48 AM |
Do bears think about being the same in their courtship rituals? Do dogs? Do cats?
Do monkeys? Do horses? Do cattle? We are all from the animal kingdom. We all think to a certain degree and we all
have instincts.
Ah,but the creatures you mention do not read romance novels,surf the 'net for porn, read 'self help' and
'relationship' books, get married, get divorced, or join online dating sites.
They also get shot and hit by cars more than people do. They get attacked, killed, eaten by predators. I've never
heard of a human athlete being euthanized ON THE TRACK for a broken ankle...nor do humans in modern, reasonably
civilized cultures get euthanised because they are old,ill,or unpleasant companions. To gt authorization to
euthanize a human being for acts of intractable viciousness is an incredibly complex,expensive and time consuming
process.
So I for one,prefer to NOT hold up the animal kingdom( much as I respect and even revere Nature) as courtship
models.
[quot]As far as "bad" I prefer to look at it through the lens of effective or ineffective. If something isn't
working in ones life, it is rather ineffective to continue to do it.
Precisely. But it can be quite a process to "unlearn" a conditioned behavior.
I'm not regretful of my views, opinions or perceptions on the topic. If peoples' feelings get hurt over my
opinions, that's their problem.
Is it their problem? or perhaps they may view it as your problem, or it may be just soothing words for the
ego.
Well,I find it somewhat unsettling to think that people who are allegedly adults would 'get their feelings hurt'
about someone else's opinion. Disagreement is perfectly fine and to be expected, even a certain degree of disgust or
anger over an opinion formed out of ignorance,intolerance or unreasoning bias. if you are expressing your opinions
in such a way that it is HURTFUL to your fellow discussion participants, it IS "your problem". Nobody's perfect, of
course, and there are times when you have to all but(figuratively speaking) bop someone over the head with a
Louisville Slugger in order to present an opposing opinion,but I for one hate to see that tactic overused.
What men are simply, simply, very simply asking is why do SOME women think that a woman's role is to be
passive in dating. when other women don't.
Because all women aren't the same...as all men aren't either. Different personalities, different upbringings,
different experiences...
EXACTLY. If you as a participant in Adventures in modern Dating,prefer the passive role(regardless of your gender)
and you are not liking the selection of would-be suitors( or suitoresses), you can either SETTLE or you can change
the way YOU operate. You can post 80 million threads in 80 million forums, claiming that these passive dateseekers
are behaving incorrectly/ineffectively, or even outright 'MISBEHAVING'...most are not going to immediately cross
over to YOUR viewpoint. many never will. Now there is nothing whatsoeve wrong with anyone making a considered
decision to explore a different approach/method when the one they've been using isn't very effective. But to be a
valid decision, I think that needs to come from the persons' OWN EXPERIENCES, not some lecture posted on an internet
forum at a dating or social website.
Men persist asking few simple questions, while women do everything else but give an adequate honest answer. /quote] This thread did not start out with a simple question. It started out with a disgruntled ex member creating a rather elaborate and INSULTING theory to explain why he couldn't get a date/get laid,and hoping to have a bunch of people agree with it, so that he could have some mental comfort for his wounded ego and his distressed weiner. What some men here seem to want is not ANSWERS,but for women to just agree that we have no power except to deny access to what's between our legs. You want an adequate honest answer to that?? Here's MINE... f*cking teenydickwhinging
male bullshit I suspect the OP is no longer a member because his mama caught him and grounded him from the computer until he graduates from middle school. Of course, his lameass lament turned into a springboard for a major battle of the sexes discussion...and I think it has survived thus far because there has been a fair amount of worthwhile dialogue( and a couple of good recipes LOL).But since the OT was simply a thinly veiled sorryassloser WHINE,it's very difficult to ask "simple" questions, or give "adequate honest answers". For some men the only answer would be " Oh yes, the OP and all the other men who want to find relationships without having to invest much effort or take any risks, they are all correct and women are wrong. We want men to come to us,not because of social construct, cultural conditioning, parental training or previous positive experiences, but because the only "power" we have is to grant or withold sex,because we are weaker and men are strong and self sufficient( except they haven't figured out a way to actually literally f*ck themselves). I'm sorry, gentlemen, but if the "honest,adequate answer" you want is for women to AGREE with the OT, then I am afraid you are sh*t out of luck. Countries with even more stringent equality laws than we have, like Sweden, still have a persistent gender
gap of about 12% with women earning .88 one the dollar compared with men. They have conducted extensive research
into what causes the gap to persist and have concluded it is the choices women make rather than inequality of
opportunity or gender bias in pay.
Concise and to the point.
And since a HUGE part of that 'choices women make" is to take time out of the workplace to bear and raise children,or to care for incapacitated spouses or family members, would men be willing to forego biological fatherhood, and agree that their wife/SO can deposit his sorry butt in a nursing home if he gets sick, so she can continue to work and keep up her income average? It seems to me, that the only way we can achieve true earning equality would be to abolish the family structure. When the population in modern civilizations drops to 'endangered' status, maybe those 'choices' women USED to make won't look so foolish. Their reasoning being somewhat misogynistic, I feel. I hear the rant "You wanted equality, well, ya got it!
Pony up."
You hear wrong then.
No, I don't think we do. Regarding the first part, I want to know if your parents specifically said to you, "Don't ask boys out", not
"Nice girls don't ask boys out", etc., for that can be nothing more than an observation they were sharing with you
rather than trying to teach you how to behave when it comes to dating.
I mean, "Nice girls don't ask boys out", is not quite the same as, "You should not ask boys out" for the first only
applies to you if you happen to be a nice girl, whereas the second applies to you regardless.
Trust me, parents, grandparents,HomeEconomics and 'Family Living' teachers, charm school instructors, even modern 'relationship book' authors all specifically have said, in a variety of wordings, that no "good" relationship will come from of the girl/woman asking the boy/man out. By "good" the bottomline meaning seems to be a relationship where the woman is respected,where her feelings matter,where the man values her as a person, not just a handy hole to stick his weiner in as long as she doesn't make any waves,until what looks like a better weinerhole comes down the pike, or maybe even a woman who strikes such a chord with the man tht he's willing to treat her with respect and value her as a person. Just come out an say it, most men on the planet are full of bullshit. Nope, you won't get ME to say it because this has not been my experience. I WILL comment that I've come to believe that men who participate in online dating, or work really hard at finding female companionship, have a marked tendency to WAAY over think things. And because of that, women are forced to follow suit. Yep. And thus men are partly to blame for the current dating chaos. Maybe it's my age, geographic location, and to some degree socioeconomic bracket, but I'm not seeing all that much chaos. At the same time as my parents were telling me not to buck society by calling boys, they were also both
telling me to expect to pay my own way in life. My father, who I suspect had issues with "entitlement princesses"
put it as "Don't expect some man is going to come along to pay for you just because you were born with breasts" and
my mother voiced it as "Don't fall into the trap of relying on a man to pay for you because you'll be in trouble if
it goes sideways later on LOL does this ever RESONATE!! Of course, both my parents( God rest them) were raised in the Depression era by single mothers,and my mother worked outside the home at least part time throughout her marriage until she was able to retire. So yeah, in the late 60s/early 70s,I'm sure a lot of young women were getting VERY mixed messages. lot of women were conditioned...most I know certainly didn't make a conscious decision to want men to
pursue...with the idea that it was about being selfish or unfair..it was what we were taught..and it was how the
adults around us conducted themselves..this doesn't suddenly change at middle age, because some people say it
should? We all have comfort zones...even men do...I would say that most men don't step out of theirs that often
either..the ones that do, are the exception...just like the women who do, at least at this point, are the
exception...
Absofreakinlutely. And I'm fairly certain that there are still many families where girls are taught that they cannot consider marriage/raising a family as a valid single career option, that they better choose a good occupation or profession,in case no WORTHWHILE men approach them, (and even if they do, it's not very safe financially to be a SAHM. Because even the most decent,responsible seeming men can flake out or turn into insufferable d*ckheads.) Never in my head, ever, till I read the forums did I ever think that I liked when men approach, or did nice
things for me had anything to do with thinking I was better than them or deserved special treatment..it was always
just a good indicator that he liked me...and I have always returned it in the ways I can..because this is what I was
taught...not because I was trying to beat the system , lord it over men, control them..or any nonsense...while
admitting that some women do do this..i'm guessing they aren't that self aware to even articulate why..they just
know it works...and it's always been that way..and still, I can't speak for other parts of the world...but, where I
live..they are the minority...most people I know barely pay attention to social issues...they just live their life
everyday...as they always have... Yup. The back and fourths in here just snip at the fringes of the fundamental differences many have with the
wider, more important subject: What it takes to find a secure, happy, satisfying relationship that stands the test
of time (and that’s over “years”, people; weeks or months don't count...those are "flings", not serious
relationships). Another hearty "Absofreakinlutely!" See, I KNOW how that works, which is exactly why I have not formed another permanent partnership thus far. You can't FORCE real love to happen. there's nothing wrong with casual dating, short term relationships, FwB as long as both people are on the same page. I find few things sadder than having a femalee friend in a comtted relationship piss and moan about her So, then say she's with him because "it's better than being alone" or that she's with the guy, not because of love, but because of "tired of being alone"(and yes, I have occasionally had male friends say the same thing). Equal opportunity is the healthy equality for all.
Making the genders same thinking and same acting is a cruel and deliberate science experiment. That is not equality. Celebrate our differences. It is what Nature always intended.
Allow men their natural tendencies in the mating/dating scene and allow women their natural tendencies in the mating/dating game.
Then there is no confusion. And if there are men and women who DO feel comfortable being different than "natural tendencies" dictate( passive men, more assertive women when it comes to approaching/asking someone out) let's just say. "hey if it's working and it feels right, more power to you",but let's not take these unconventional people and either try to beat them back into the 'norm', nor try and beat the rest of the gender into being just like them! Cindy O | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:21:59 AM | Why do Most women want guys to come to Them? Biology101
Classic.
Let's pull out Grade 9 biology to give a simple answer to a complex question.
Is this the best that you can do?
There's no individuality, parental, or social conditioning to influence what's natural?
Thanks for unravelling the mystery...
Biology dictates that women are wired to only be approached, and that we should not mess with what's a natural drive?
Therefore, men shouldn't think, just do?
Fine.
Biology 101 also dictates that men are sexually driven. That's the way we are biologically wired.
Therefore, women shouldn't think, they should just do.
You women wouldn't want to go against nature would you?.... | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:30:23 AM |
I've never
heard of a human athlete being euthanized ON THE TRACK for a broken ankle...nor do humans in modern, reasonably
civilized cultures get euthanised because they are old,ill,or unpleasant companions.
I beg to differ , we do in the beginning, and if you look at our "new socialized health care" proposal.
Theres a very carefully worded provision that covers that very topic.
In short. "Give it time" | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:39:08 AM | V1 - why would you pull just One short line from my post and make it look as if I've simplified a 'complex' question??
The real question is why you would give that as an answer to the question of the OP, that you did and expect it to be any sort of elaborate answer, or one that has any actual merit worthy of consideration to the posters here, who have gone to look for answers much further than Grade 9.
Other people are actually putting thought into their posts, for better or worse, to try and debate the topic.
If you honestly believe that I somehow owe You my "best" .. you will be disappointed Every time.
You are what you post.
Deal with it | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:40:55 AM | I can't imagine that anyone would complain about this aspect of nature. I'd be far better off today, if they majority of women would have been just a little more difficult to catch. Some times.....we need to be saved from ourselves. | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:17:51 AM |
I've never
heard of a human athlete being euthanized ON THE TRACK for a broken ankle...nor do humans in modern, reasonably
civilized cultures get euthanised because they are old,ill,or unpleasant companions.
I beg to differ , we do in the beginning, and if you look at our "new socialized health care" proposal.
Theres a very carefully worded provision that covers that very topic.
In short. "Give it time"
Rick, I thought about referencing the 'death panel' controversy,but it is not yet a fact...whereas the points I brought up about the animal kingdom were meant to suggest that we all think twice before we blindly adopt 'the animal kingdom' as a model for how human beings conduct their lives.
Cindy O | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:46:00 AM |
There's no individuality, parental, or social conditioning to influence what's natural?
Yes, there is. But you ain't gonna like it. I can't speak to how kids are raised these days, but when I was a girl, parental and social conditioning tended to support Biology 101...the male pursues, the female accepts or rejects, while infusing a few rules, standards and manners so that stalking and rape were NOT acceptable forms of dating and courtship.
Look, if you (or any other guy)prefer to be passive and wait for women to approach you, that's perfectly fine. But you need to understand that as things are now, women who approach may be (a) so self assured, strong minded,unconventional and impatient with social norms, that she COULD prove to be a huge pain in the ass to be in a relationship with, or (b) so unappealing and desperate that she feels she has no CHOICE but to be the pursuer. And if you have the *&! nerve to laugh at this woman behind your hand, after ranting that women should approach men, remember karma's a b*tch.
I'd like to think there can be a middle ground, where rational responsible adult human beings consider each situation on it's own merits and reason out what seems to be a workable methodology. I for one do not see myself ever directly asking a guy out, but I'm perfectly capable of encouraging one I'm interested in to do so. In fact for me complete passivity seems to draw guys who are just absolutely SO NOT my type, or puffed up unmitigated jerks. So I have to make myself interesting and approachable to guys that I find interesting and would welcome their approach. And that's not nearly as complex as it SOUNDS. In fact, I could go so far as to repeat the "It ain't rocket science" disclaimer.
But to blatantly approach, pursue, court a completely passive male? Not gonna happen. That just seems, TO MY PERSONAL PERCEPTION, to be too metrosexual, maybe even downright NEUTERED. Just would not feel right. That doesn't mean passive men are bad, just that they wouldn't be comfortable men for ME.
Cindy O | |
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| Why women want guys to come to THEM
Posted: 9/30/2009 11:20:38 AM | WHAT ? BEARS EAT THE BEES AND NOT THE HONEY , ? Where in the world did you hear that ? Honey you eve seen a raided by a Bear Beesnest in the Woods ? There is never any honey left.  | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:02:33 PM | cindy, are you telling me that if you were to come across a man who is both beautiful on the inside and outside, who might also very much be interested into you but doesn't approach you. (Whatever the reason is, maybe he's shy, maybe he was taught that women didn't like to get hit on, maybe he gets anxiety talking to women, maybe he's having a bad day, maybe he's just not on his game). You would simply let that man walk away, throwing away a chance for what could be a great relationship, over something so trivial and insignificant as who approaches who first? How would you know if this hypotethical man didn't in fact have everything else that you are looking for?
What "feels right" is whatever you make to feel right. I don't see how you have anything to gain by limiting your own choices based on a notion that is both sexist, ignorant and detrimental(men aren't neutered just because they are passive) | |
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| Why Most women want guys to come to THEM?
Posted: 9/30/2009 12:13:40 PM | If you want to get laid, crawl up a 40 ft chickens ass, and wait !
Now that's clucked up!
(groan, i know, i know)
OT: because it was raining and they're afraid to show 'wet-butt' when they stand. hahahaha
whereas the points I brought up about the animal kingdom were meant to suggest that we all think twice before we blindly adopt 'the animal kingdom' as a model for how human beings conduct their lives.
Nope, don't wanna use the animal kingdom as an example...many eat their offspring.
Besides, everyone was doing the box quote say a line box quote thingee, just thought I would too. lol.
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