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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:26:28 PM | I'm not into BDSM at all. My ex used to make me bleed during sex with her nails constantly. I found it quite unpleasant, however, she couldn't control herself so I was fine with accepting that. I wasn't a big fan of using the whips and handcuffs she had either although I'd go along with it because I wanted to make her happy.
The only thing I like about BDSM is if it turns my woman on. Then I get turned on as a result. Which in this case...everyone wins!  | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/25/2009 4:44:49 AM | IMHO:
Everyone is right about their sexual appetites as long as no one gets physically or psychologically damaged.
I am far from vanilla, but not yet ready to have a cattle prod or use a prince wand on a guy for leaving tomato seeds on the dinner plates after I reminded him with a cat'o'nine tails the night before to wash them before putting them in the dishwasher I just like things to be fun, wild, and ... well youget the picture.   | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/25/2009 3:58:16 PM | I dated two women who were into this kind of thing, I'm not and it didn't work out with the two of them. They were not upfront about this, and it was unfair to not only myself but to them as well, I would be unable to provide what they needed in a relationship.
I could tell you some stories of people I know who are into this kind of thing, but out of respect for me do not practice these things when I am around. I don't approve of the lifestyle, nor do I condone it, but that is my opinion, to each their own. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:43:56 AM |
BDSM people are not " horny" or "aroused", they just have control and power issues.
I disagree. The limited experience I've had with a couple of women into at least the bondage aspect of it showed that they were extremely aroused by it. In fact, they couldn't get aroused without it. The classic definition of a fetish. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:14:12 PM |
And YOU Madam, would do well to realise that not everyone responds well to orders, unlike some Sub types, who absolutely revel in it.
My views are my own, call it hate if you will, I simply have a distaste for people who have power and control issues.It always makes me smile to be called close minded for not being a bloody headcase.
Kinksters is it now? Well, alright then, call it what you will, you can call me Nilla, I'll call you.. whatever i like
You'd do well to remmeber this is a Forum, with rules, one of which is NOT being told what I can say or cant say, or even having it suggested to me by another poster.
Luckilly, Madame.. you're not in control of me.
Goodewitch, I did not "order" you to say or not say anything. I suggested that your ignorant comments were so far off base that you would have been better off not to make a fool of yourself talking about people whom you obviously don't know and deliberately misunderstand. Funny that you call me "Madame" and accuse me of ordering you around and trying to control you - I am a sub. And you're calling ME a "bloody headcase" with "power and control issues"? You don't know me from Adam.
And forum rules also say that you cannot insult anyone, so be careful about that high horse you're on - it's a long way down. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 8/28/2009 8:14:34 AM | To pittsburgh Vixen,
Please read my post again, you'll see that I say I will not be told what to I can or cant say by another poster, nor have it 'suggested' to me.
I feel your words of 'You'd have done well to stop at this point,.. is a suggestion that you made.
Second point, I said I smile at being called close minded for not being a bloody headcase,.. did I mean you specifically? No, I did not, but I find in general that people with power and control issues, on either side, to be headcases,.. its my observation. I am quite happy to say that, like all people in some form or another, I make judgements, and if you feel I have no right to judge you, then I'm sorry you feel bad about my negative judgement on you or people of your ilk, but it is my right to judge as I see fit. I will not be made to feel bad for having opinions or judgements on any given subject.
Thirdly, my opinions, wether foolish to you or not, are my own,.. and I am not so ignorant of people who live deeply within this lifestyle. I have seen the damage done to some people because of this again, IMO psychologically damaging lifestyle.
In one case, of a very good female freind, I was left to pick up the peices.
You yourself must know, that not all Doms/Dommes are ethical, and have the best interest of their Sub at heart. All some Doms need is consent, no matter if the person consenting is truly in a mentally competent state to consent.
Theres too much room for abuse in these situations, and its not all fun and games, and there are many grey areas.
The line between consentual, and abusive is blurred on many occaisions, yes you can say that it shouldnt happen and you would never do that etc etc, but you and I know very well this is not the ideal world, and abuses do happen.
My general point, which I shall clarify, is that people so into a specialised type of lifestyle, often are not capable of enjoying vanilla' sexuality, or relationships that do not have an exaggerated power element in them, much the same as some one with a real fetish, would be a bad choice of partner for someone who wants to feel desirable in themselves, and not just because theyre wearing a cetain something, or are letting the person with the fetish focus on what ever the fetish is to have their jollies.
As one poster stated, people who are into BDSM, whatever part of that huge umbrella is their thing, are very unsatisfactory partners, to someone you may term as vanilla, because the ritual, the props, and the power element, has become more important than the actual person.
BDSM takes on a life of its own.
G. x | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 11/5/2009 10:06:33 PM | My experiences with some submissive men have been wide and varried; suffice it to say that the most tedious of them try to dominate from the submissive possition. It's amusing to watch and can become quickly boring. For example; One could only be happy if he picked my shoes and hose and my feet were bathed to his satisfaction, I stepped on him just so, and on and on-the instructions/requirements for his happiness went on forever. And the newest (almost) one was so blatent in his preferences and dropping 'hints' from the first conversation. He seemed suprized that I knew when he told me of his need to 'submit' and I stated I just needed to hear it from him. (one needs to ask why a grown man could be suprized by that) In my assessment he is new and unsure of what it is he said (life-style choice VS game), what he intends and what it means to 'give it over'. Others have been quite dilligent and most pleasant to oversee.
To help others in understanding a small facet of these wonderful relatioinsips; His admission was a request for a contract of sorts; and my aknowledgement of knowing and needing to hear it from him was affirmation that I would take good care of him. When the student is ready the teacher appears.
Gents, she may 'look vanilla' but I'm here to tell ya... there's an insurmountable satisfaction to be had by just trusting in the process. With women more often then not you get what you ask for but in a better way then your imagination could ever dream of. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 11/6/2009 12:06:45 AM | I dated a girl who liked to be tied up and spanked a few years back.
Sounds cool. And was...
...but for only about the first 10 minutes.
After that my hand got real tired.
LOL
Seriously, it wasn't all it was cracked up to be.
Cus being a guy I just wanted to get to the fun part.
But she had this whole thing mentally planned out,
and got pissed if I didn't stick to the script.
I couldn't skip a step.
tie her up.
call her names.
spank her.
pull her hair.
more spanking.
after a few other steps, eventually sex.
(which also had to be done in a certain way)
Got to be too boring and too much work.
She was cute or I wouldn't have jumped thru all those hoops.
But still, I decided to date a more sensible girl.
I tell ya, the crazy girls I used to meet in crazy bars in Dallas. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 11/6/2009 4:56:48 AM | | I think the issue is not if you're into BDSM or not, but that you didn't click with that woman. Nothing to do what she's into. If you would have fancied here, I'm sure you could be persuaded to try out some light bondage for fun. People takes this too seriously, it's about pleasure and just part of it, doesn't take over your life | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:41:48 PM | | Actually, I was so abused as a child-tied up, beaten, whipped, burned, punched, kicked, poisoned, etc-that I would not find B&D/S&M to be a turn on for me, so why would I date someone for whom it is a primary turn on? Even if I liked it-which I don't-no one could hold a candle to my now dead nanny (abuser). She won't have the guts to do that again. Haha. Be careful what you wish for. You may find someone with a past like mine who has repressed it enough to have forgotten it. If she starts playing rough sex games with you, she may have a flashback, mistake you for her former abuser, and kill you in self defense. | |
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| Would you ever consider being in a relationship with someone who is into BDSM?
Posted: 11/12/2009 6:53:03 PM | | heck no...people who say maybe they would consider it don't know what this is...get some details before you jump in...i asked a man who suggested this to me...to tell me exactly what he meant...after i heard what he was looking for i decided not to meet him and broke all contact...this is nothing but a demeaning and abusive type of sex ....sick is what it is.... | |
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