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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:54:41 AM | About doing dutch on the first date or meet-up, I always go prepared to pay my way. I have even picked up the check to include the man's coffee too. If we start off with coffee at Starbucks and he suggests dinner then he gets to pay the bill.
ladyblu1950 | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:16:26 AM |
stopped requiring men to earn their time and attention.
Sorry, but that just rubbed me a wrong way..Agree with the rest of your post, but I don't ever want to "earn" any women time and attention.
I mean I am there too, am I not? What about my time? If the dinner doesn't go well, am I not wasting my time? Also.. Shouldn't I be entitled to her attention?
Oh wait, I know.. Her showing up, and allowed me to take her to dinner, guess she is done her part, right?
I kind of understand what Indianamen saying...Most ladies here taking it to hearth, saying don't date than, or go for a coffee, etc. But what if that's not an option?
What if she flat out say, take me to the four star restaurant, or I'll call you cheap?
Come on, we all know there are some women going out with a guy, and not being interested.
Will those ladies stand up? Yeah, I didn't think so..
If women started feeling that they deserve more,
Sorry, but what do you mean by that? More of what? And...What do guys deserve? | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:32:39 AM | | I think part of it is that women get tired of men whining about women expecting to be treated a certain way and they continue to date the women who supposedly treat them like crap, then after the finally either get sick of her crap and/or she dumps him, he vows to never treat anyone else like he treated her, so we who basically would never treat a man like crap have to pay for his past mistakes until he finds another good looking woman who again he lets treat him like crap. I do not hold on to my past feelings for any man I have dated, hopefully look upon every new relationship as a clean slate, and basically seek a man who is at the same place I am, which includes not begrudging paying for a date,( I always offer to pay my share of the expense and some men have seemed appreciative of this, some said it shows that I am a femi Nazi (that pretty much nipped any potetntial for a relationship with these men in the bud), and my experience has shown that if a man is interested he will pay for the date. (with the exclusion of the men who made the femi Nazi comments, even though they had no interest in me whatsoever, and were possibly schizoid, as they had seemed totally different in email and telephone calls.) | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:39:29 AM | Personally, I think the person who made the invite is the one responsible for the meal costs. I have found that most women will gladly pay for their half, but if I invited them I pay for all. If they feel they need to pay something then I don't mind if they pay the tip.
Let's say you invited some friends over for dinner. Would you expect them to bring their own food and drink? That is a bit tacky and how many would come over again...? | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:28:49 AM | | I have also noticed that the more a man values a woman, ( young, really good looking, great body) the more he is willing to treat without begruding it later on. If he is lukewarm about the woman, He isn`t going to want to shell out. If he is really attracted and wants her to stay around, he will do more. It`s all about economics and how much he values the woman as to the investment he will shell out. He`ll PAY for the privelege of being with a young hot babe that is used to being treated well. A 50 year old plain Jane with a few years wear, not usually so fast. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 8:58:55 AM |
Womaninprogress - Good point! Whoever has an issue with the tab, should be the one to state it in their profile. Sounds like a good solution to me. End of story. Everyone agree?
Yew4ic - Yes indeed, if you have an issue, put it up front and let it see daylight! Why wait until you arrive in the dark restaurant with the leatherette check holder on the table?
Good then girls! It's solved. People can continue to discuss, but this is the only fair solution.
Guys - don't offer dinner, or state in profile you don't pick up tabs, or both.
/end thread | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:01:29 AM | Doesn't matter what a woman puts on her profile I think. Just reading the OP's profile states clearly that he is unemployed and broke.
Most employed women don't date unemployed men for the same reason men don't like to date unemployed women.
Get a job, then get the girl then you won't spend so much time brousing the profiles to see which women might pay their and your way.
By the way it is a MEET and GREET not a dinner DATE. Fuuk men can be so stupid at times.
OP why don't you put on your profile ""DUTCH MEETS/DATES ONLY"" or are you too chicken to advertise this ??? Instead you are just a wossie man who want so see it first on the woman's profile that she is willing to pay ....
And as far as that being more impressive than those cut and paste breast cancer messages .... just another ignorant man.
OMO | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:02:57 AM | Zuglo, I stand by every word I've said. You invited the lady to dinner. She showed up. Why would/should she pay? Yes she did a huge part--following through. Dinner could be a total waste, but dinner is not an escort service. If you leave after a mutual waste of time, then what else would she owe you?
The issues that's rubbing you the wrong way is that I'm holding some standards. Respect needs to be served with my meal. I can't understand why earning a woman's time/attention/respect/heart would be a "rubbing" issue. Unless, of course, you feel dinner is an escort service.
There are women that accept second, third, or more dates with men that don't even respect them. YES you EARN my time and attention by respecting me.
Again, this is not the man's fault. Too many ladies have allowed this too happen. I don't, so the dating pool is smaller for women who refuse to be played. No, after the first date you are not entitled to a woman's attention. This is my point. Women expect to be disrespected so they may have the entitlement of male company. I don't know why this happened, its just one of the saddest things I've seen among my dating female friends.
I respect your feelings, but again why wouldn't you need you need to earn my time/respect/attention? Remember I have other date offers, entertainment options, and projects to complete. Why is it assumed that these things come freely? (and by freely, I am not referring to monetary value) There are plenty of fish in the sea and you will find many women that completely agree with you. I'm just not among them.
Good luck! | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:05:36 AM | Anyway ALL men on POF know that ALL women here are gold diggers ...
All men on POF are nice guys
All men on POF were the perfect ones in their relationships and were done wrong
All men on POF are still singing their old country son.
OMO | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:31:07 AM | | DW you're hardly a plain Jane, or is your post about someone else? There actually are a few good men out there, you (and everyone else) can find out by answering emails from guys who don't always resemble Johnny Depp or Hugh Jackman, as looks are good for about 15 minutes, and that goes for women, too. Otherwise, stop complaining, you're just limiting yourself with that attitude. And stay away from those Country Club losers, try a guy who actually works for a living! | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:39:05 AM | | Telling the truth and/or what we have experienced is different (at least sometimes) than complaining. Many of us have experienced the same thing as far as meeting men who put looks as the top thing that a woman must have, we answer all emails, and are quite content with an average looking man who works and treats us well. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:33:25 PM | YES you EARN my time and attention by respecting me.
That's fine, I respect women without trying to EARN anything. Using the word EARN, with a caps, is what I have a problem with..
No, after the first date you are not entitled to a woman's attention.
Wow..If after the first date, I don't have a women attention, there is no second date.
Why would I ask someone out again, when I don't have her attention???
I am asking her out, not because I want to earn her attention, because I want to get to know her better, or because I enjoy her company.
I don't feel dinner is an escort service..Why do you feel a dinner is an opportunity to earn, great I can't stop saying it now, anything?
Is it the Army? You earn stars?
Yes, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and many women won't make me jump through hoops, to have an honor to take her out for dinner. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 6:25:02 PM | I have to say this thread has made me laugh. I'm not sure if it's my young age thats the factor, but I feel the cost of a meal should be at the bottom of your "to worry" list when it comes to meeting your significant other.
If it's of great concern to you, then maybe do some other kind of activity that you can both share in? Quick cheeky drink in a quiet bar, romantic strole in the park, 'coffee date' etc... | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:02:53 PM | After reading the many comments and rebuttals over the subject of whether a man should pay for everything on a 1st date, its clear there are really core issues being debated here. I hear women saying they are tired of men "expecting" something in return for the man's investment; dinner and drinks, ect. We men have caused this reaction in women, because we have asked or expected affection, maybe even sex, which makes a woman nothing more than a prostitute if we have bought their attention or kisses for the price of an evening's entertainment.
On the other side of the coin, I hear how men feel when they have had women empty their wallet for dinner and drinks, when both parties knew there was going to be nothing further, which makes a guy feel used and abused. Women should in this circumstance offer to pay their own way, that's only fair in this confusing culture where men don't know whether to hold the door open for a lady as we were taught since childhood, or let women be the man's equal and yank open their own doors, which women need to acknowledge is a hard thing for men these days. But I'm an old fashioned guy, who believes women still want a guy who will walk around and open the car door for them, get them a chair, seat them first in the restuarant, and pay for the meal, drinks and nightclubs. I did this last night and had a great time with an attractive woman, who's company ( "and" kisses, I might add ) I really enjoyed. As for that "second" encounter between us, she invited me to be her date at a party the next week-end.
The use a tired cliche, the bottom line here is, as men, asking a woman for "anything" other then the pleasure of her company in those first few encounters , is denigrating and rude to the extreme, and reinforces to women that we are jerks with no class. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 9:34:54 PM | Just a minor nit to pick, but...
mackroe wrote:
On the other side of the coin, I hear how men feel when they have had women empty their wallet for dinner and drinks, when both parties knew there was going to be nothing further, which makes a guy feel used and abused.
Well, uh, the thankfully few times this has happened to me, well, let's just say the other party made sure to give the signals that it was going somewhere, took pains to make sure I did NOT know there'd be nothing further, and managed a second round of dinner and drinks. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:15:21 PM | I have to agree with Excelsiur. To all of the women who took his feedback to a level that you felt it was ok to be degrading and humiliating as well as putting him down just put you (& all of the rest of us women) in a very bad light. We all have a right to voice our opinions. Nor do we all have to agree (that would be soooo boring). Just please be a little more respectful & show these men that no matter what we are intelligent, kind, caring, wise, considerate & respectful of all. (' ')
-Miriam | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/22/2009 2:10:26 AM | I generally pick up the tab for the first date, but i hate it when it's assumed. What I very much appreciate is insisting on paying something like the tip. It still lets me pay while demonstrating that you are capable and willing to function independently.
EDIT: just to add, this is rarely an issue. Most women I've gone out with have been prepared to pay their own way. Those who don't, well, $10-20 is a small price to pay for weeding out the bad apples. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/22/2009 6:14:48 AM | | This is silly ...i always offer to cover the tip if a man has paid for the meal BUT i would never put that in my profile.. if ur cheap then meet for a stroll on the boardwalk or the mall. Personally i like a man who offers to pull out my chair, open the door, offers to pay the bill its the way i was raised and i dont think ill ever change... mind if i know what he likes im also the type to buy him his favorite sweet as we are walking or get him a magazine he enjoys. Why do ppl have to remove all the romance out of everything ? If ur trying to woo someone nothing is more unappealing than trying to split a bill figuring out who had the second sangria smh...if money is an issue (tight and so on) get her to meet u at a park for a picnic lunch ask her to provide a part while u provide the other of the meal... romantic cost effective and 50 50 : ) | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:49:55 PM | Why am I against breast cancer messages in profiles? Because the purpose of this site is supposed to be DATING, not oncology!
I also support the petition to ban children's pictures from this site. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/27/2009 8:01:46 PM |
I just read something in a woman's profile that I think is so wonderful I strongly believe ALL women here on pof should cut and paste into their profiles:
*
I'm not running a ploy to get free meals. I'm happy to meet at a restaurant and pay for myself, if you still think you'd like to get to know me.
*
^^^ hmmmm....probabely gets her a lot of freebies.....
personally I could never put that on my profile...it'd be untrue...and we all know that a food lovin'-grub shovelin'-self admitted glutton...is much better than a liar liar pants on fire..... | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/27/2009 11:43:57 PM | u are extremely creepy and I totaly understand y none of your dates call u back. WTF dude, u have got to be kidding me. Most guys are dishonest about their appearance on this site anyway, thats y they dont get a return phone call | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 7/28/2009 12:26:00 AM | Sitting here with a beer in my hand enjoying the end to a beautiful day, had the bike out today and was wondering what would make this day even better, so A BIG THANK YOU  goes out to everyone here that responded to this post. I haven't laughed like this since sunday night,when I was watching three's company on dejavue.... . | |
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