| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:51:18 PM |
Umm..then perhaps the Opie should have also suggested ALL men put a disclaimer on their profiles that they were not taking a woman out to dinner and a movie, and saying sweet things to her just to get laid. That is a far older dupe than a woman trying to con a guy for a free dinner.
I doubt that. I reckon both developed on similar time-lines. And I also don't believe either are as envasive as these sad little POF threads suggest. It's just a certain type of women and men who connect with this type of men and women. Schmucks and schmiels. Interchangable, by gender. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 4:51:23 PM | sexykg74 wrote:
I have to say I know a lot of women who look at dating as "oh, I'll just meet him...at least it's a free meal/drinks!".
I've heard this secondhand, actually - from female friends who've had their own female friends say this kind of thing. Sad that the attitude exists.
My own experience has run the spectrum of a woman immediately deciding she wasn't really interested in me (though she'd spoken to me on the phone, saw what I looked like, etc) but deciding that dinner and drinks were on me anyway.
Oh, I didn't know at first, but got a feeling - and then the not interested part came out AFTER the dinner and drinks, of course. Granted, maybe I came off as a terrible person, but I think a few phone calls totaling about 3 hours of conversation before the first meeting might've revealed if I was a jerk or something.
Then the normal thing - where it's split, or I've offered to pay but the woman offered to split.
Then on the other extreme one woman who insisted on covering the entire thing, both on the first and second dates.
I always thought that it's a bit of a conundrum - does a guy pay for the whole thing, but then wind up expected to do so? Will he be thought of as chauvanist if he pays for the whole thing? Will some women get offended by that sort of thing, considering it to be outmoded and condescending, or even patronizing?
Maybe I just overanalyze this stuff way too much. In any case, the guy is left to guess unless the woman says something explicitly, and he'd better hope his guess doesn't strike an offensive chord (ok, that's never happened to me, but I've heard one or two secondhand stories on that as well!)
Feather Sandwich wrote:
Or put this on your profile:
I can't think of a more original date than asking you to meet at a restaurant, but I am too cheap to pay for your dinner unless you're going to sleep with me. So please be prepared to pay for your own, if you still think you'd like to get to know me. Paying for mine too would get you bonus points.
HILARIOUS! If I would have thought of that before you, I would have put it up on my profile to see how many people emailed me saying it was funny versus how many emailed me to say I was an @$$
| |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:35:20 PM | The way lots of people on here generalize never fails to make me laugh. OP, if you attract the kind of woman who truly sees a date as a free meal, you may want to question why these people are coming into your life. We attract different types of people to us.
What's with the cheesy comment about "cut and paste breast cancer messages?" You think that's a funny subject? If men were getting their penises cut off at the rate that women are losing one or both breasts, you bet there'd be a cure! | |
|
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:57:00 PM |
I've heard a lot of men and women say "at least it's a free meal/drink"
Gigglemepink.. I don't know you and this is not an attack on your character whatsoever but I have to call BULLSH!T. A man rarely gets a free drink or meal when on a date with someone new. As general as it sounds, it is the truth.
~Oso | |
|
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:34:27 PM | I just went out on a date last week and I bought the food.. we BBQ'd.. he prepared it.. so he got a free meal out of it... London Broil steaks, baked potatoe, salad...
Guess I am just way to giving!
  | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 6:36:32 PM | My problem is with people who think that ALL men are out for one thing or ALL women want a free meal.
I go into each and every date expecting only to meet a nice person and have a nice time and it's a bonus if it works. Going into a date with the expectation that the man/woman is another user/taker or whatver implies you just should not be dating. Or you should find someone as negative as you. Which will be hard, because people are attracted to positive vibes.
If you already think one way about people and don't just let things go, you will never be able to have a good time and not worry about the money. I never ever worry about the money factor on dates, and I enjoy dating men with the same attitude. I feel it is generous of a man to offer and when I accept I do with the intention that I'll be getting the next one.
If you men want to think it's all about the money, then you will remain single for a loooong time. Because EVERYONE is the buddy of the guy who pays the round.
The way a man looks at money (not spends it) tells me whether he is cheap. Complainers and braggarts are often the cheapest.
Frankly, I used to drive for an hour for a date. Should I have asked for gas money or for the man to pay my meal because of that? NO. I always offered my share and if he refused, I offered the tip.
If you men are tired of women "taking your money", then stop paying. Nobody asked you to do it. | |
|
| |
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:28:32 PM | Great idea Op. Here's a little revision though...
I am not running a ploy to get free meals. Matter-of-fact I can think of a lot better things to do on a date. So if you insist on meeting at a restaurant, especially if I am not hungry, then you should pay for the meal.
| |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:38:00 PM | | Thats retarted. Some of you guys act as if paying for a meal was making someone car payment. Its just a meal. Worst case you are out of a few bucks. Count it to a learning experience and move on with your life. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 7:46:48 PM | | I'm quite surprised by all the ladies (and I use the term loosely) on here who are expecting a free meal on a first date regardless of where it goes. I prefer to go into the date as if I'm paying and if I'm not interested, I will. If I'm into him and he offers to pay then I'll let him and take it as a sign of his interest in me. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:14:55 PM | Maybe it's your personality that makes them not call not that they are ALL planning and scmming YOU for a free meal. I know if I met up with someone and they were not for me I'd stop calling. Would it make you feel better if they just told you that you seem better through a keyboard and wires than in person?
She's just trying to be nice and not hurt your feelings. You might be just abit paranoid and there is nothing wrong with that but I would, if I were you, go for more "prevenative" means. Like if you want to impress her with a nice diner make a picnic and meet at a public park, you can bring wine ( maybe not in a glass container ) and have a peaceful meal and you could just bring thing like Cherry tomatoes and grapes and carrots and other such finger foods. More women will be impressed withh the effort than the price ( I know) .
Peace
Jenny | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:18:18 PM | I prefer to keep first dates brief, because I've been blindsided one too many times. A diner meeting is perfect. If they're a disappointment, a quick glass of unsweetened iced tea with lemon, and I'm out of there.
If she's really nice, like the woman I met tonite (and can't stop thinking about), and she feels the same about me..then I'll suggest a meal and I won't hesitate to pick up the tab.
Treat a woman with generosity and kindness, be a man, and she'll repay you countless times over with love and affection that money cannot buy. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:20:57 PM |
Gigglemepink.. I don't know you and this is not an attack on your character whatsoever but I have to call BULLSH!T. A man rarely gets a free drink or meal when on a date with someone new. As general as it sounds, it is the truth
Call bullsh!t all you want. But I have male friends who have stated that comment time and time again. Why? Because a lot of the women in our area ask men out and pay for it. So you can call bullsh!t from the top of your lungs. Still not going to change the fact that men say it too.
I live in Austin, Tx where the slogan is "Keep Austin Weird". We're a bunch of free-ager hippy types. I pay for drinks/meals. My friends pay for drinks and meals. So while I understand where you're coming from and why you'd choose to call bs, the people here have a different attitude. | |
|
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:44:34 PM | If I have to advertise the fact that I'm interested in a man and not the meal being paid for, then I dunno if I want such a guy. Why do I have to "pay" for other women's moochiness, when I am not a mooch?
If he can't give me the benefit of the doubt, to hell with him. | |
|
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 8:59:07 PM |
Worst case you are out of a few bucks. Count it to a learning experience and move on with your life.
Yep, that's what I do and did when I consistently drove for an hour to meet people. I never said afterwards that I wasted that money. Even when it didn't work out and the guy was a twit. What would be the point of thinking negatively about it? | |
|
| |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:42:52 PM | | i generally don't accept a first meet for a dinner date. i've likewise had bad experiences doing that so i try to avoid that. if a guy wants to meet for coffee only, i have no guilt about letting him pick up the tab for that, unless he's one of them who is assuming i am only doing it for another free coffee. heck, local starbucks have given me so much free coffee that if i really needed one i could probably just ask them for one without taking a chance on having company that may or may not be pleasant. this is exactly why i specifically post that a first meet can just be in a parking lot. if he likes me and later wants to treat me to dinner without a fuss, he can. i would not accept an invitation where the guy agreed only to cover the drink and then if he liked me well then he'd pay for the meal that we were going to have. no.......either we are going to just keep it short and sweet or we're going to do what we agreed on when we planned it, not contingent on he likes me. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:51:07 PM | | I also call BULLSH!T on giggles remark also, I've dated folk in Austin before, and it has nothing to do with the area. Women rarely pay for a meal, and most men would not even expect them to pay for it. | |
|
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 9:57:23 PM | | Laughs......I can buy my own meals....My profile is the truth and is honest...Like it or not....I donot need a free meal....RME....But...it seems some indianaman, donot like this.....If I ask someone to lunch or dinner, I pay......As for impressing men?....*S*...Get a life....as I am doing.....winks | |
|
Home
login 
