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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:01:39 PM | well, passionate....oh thee who thinks he's so funny...you haven't dated every single woman in the world. Nor do you know every man in the world. I know men who have said that remark. So join the other and yell bullsh!t at the top of your lungs. I've had it happen. I know it happens. Ergo, your bullsh!t call is bullsh!t in and of itself. It happens. Wether you like to believe it or not.
vvvvvv well, elvis, thanks for not thinking you know all men and their remarks. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:01:51 PM | gigglemepink wrote:
I've heard a lot of men and women say "at least it's a free meal/drink"
I'll admit that this is a new one on me. Not to say that a woman paying for the meal/drinks on a first date is unheard of, but that this would be a routine expectation? That I find rather surprising.
I don't know Austin, Texas, though, so can't make any statements as to the veracity of this. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 10:36:24 PM | A first meet should never be anything expensive. It shouldn't even be long, unless you just mightily hit it off or something. A first meet should be a drink, or coffee, or an icecream, or just a walk in the park, a sit on a bench. Otherwise, I'm a big fan of miniature golf and bowling because it lets me see if you're a good sport, and I still get to talk with you.
You, sir, are kinda cheap. You've got some unfair expectations. Not saying that any of that is bad, just that you need to be aware of them when you're making plans, and take them into account. Do something cheap for a first meet. Then you don't have to worry or wonder. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:07:12 PM | El Mariachi..
I appreciate your honesty because I am a human and like honesty. Now if I was dating you, I'd be a potential mate for you and because of that, I'd appreciate your honesty moreover when you VERBALLY communicate that you're not like those women who use men for a free meal. As long as you walk the talk. Communication is key so it's best to be communicable as much as possible when you advertise yourself on sites like these because innately, you are lumped into a category of "what if she/he is the worst kind?" As long as you don't overstate yourself, you're fine. Just make it clear who you are and who you are not.
~Oso
P.S.
GiggleMePink, Maybe I need to ditch the city and live a country lifestyle in order be equally treated  Thanks for clarification even though Passionate man cosigned my BS card... | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:21:13 PM | Wildheart and whoever you quoted from..
Picture it as followed:
If a man goes on a date with a woman. Pays for the meal/meet and nothing comes of it. No chemistry. That's understandable.
Now if a man goes on a few dates a month and pays for the meal/meet every time, you have to understand, there may be cynic growing inside of him because it seems to be a pattern (and a lost of his money-which everyone values).
You have to understand that people on these sites and in the dating word go on dates frequently and as a man, it's pretty pocket-pinching. I know, you would say, then get your finances straight or plan a cheap date. Here's the thing respectively- Men who do work or don't want Love just as much as everyone else so they put themselves in that position- if they have the financial resources for it or not. For some it is easier to have love/support as the foundation then become strive for something better financially (or whatever field they are passionate in) as opposed to the Scarface mentality where you get the money,power, respect and then women will come. Secondly, for the planning a cheap date, don't act like you won't take heed to it and consider it just that, a cheap date without much thought or the man himself is not financially capable of supporting both you and him. Not saying you need to be supported, but who doesn't want to, right?
~Oso | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/12/2009 11:57:15 PM | brenoso
P.S.
GiggleMePink, Maybe I need to ditch the city and live a country lifestyle in order be equally treated Thanks for clarification even though Passionate man cosigned my BS card...
Any time you're in TX, feel free to give me a message and I will take ya out for coffee, tea, pizza, a lap dance...whatever you want. I'll pay. You don't have to put out. You don't have to date me. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:40:59 AM | I wont add something to my profile as a result of women treating others badly. I also will not be made to pay for 'the sins' of a woman who came before me.
If a person is jaded, because they have had nothing but bad experiences, and feel used, Id rather not date him.
If you are here to date, then you should not be judging all women based on your past girlfriend...because woman are all as different as men are. I dont prejudge any man based on my last date, and I wont be judged based on a mans last date, cause that was with someone else!
I pay my way, he pays his. If I am offered a date where he wants to pay, fine, but I will always reciprocate. If I am not interested in him, I wont allow him to pay anything, as I feel it sets him up to think I am interested. I dont play childish little games and I would rather enjoy my meals alone and pay for them than endure a boring date to catch a free meal. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:11:54 AM | I dont let the guy pay unless i really really like him ,if i pay for myself it means im not impressed with him and probably wont meet him again
Should i put that on my profile ????
Nah probably not.....
Well said Kaylee. I always make sure that I can pay for a meal (or whatever), just in case, but if he pays for my meal or whatever we do, that does not automatically mean... anything! I wouldn't ever just leave... if things are really not going well because he misrepresented who I was meeting, neither of us was enjoying the date, or I am creeped out for some other reason, I would pay for myself, and find a way to end the date like a lady.
If these situations are happening to a lot of you, you might want to take things a little slower before you actually get to 'the date' and get to know each other a little bit first. A lot of men and women are in such a hurry to get to that point, that they miss out on a lot of fun...slow down and enjoy the process! | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:34:12 AM | "I just read something in a woman's profile that I think is so wonderful I strongly believe ALL women here on pof should cut and paste into their profiles:
I'm not running a ploy to get free meals. I'm happy to meet at a restaurant and pay for myself, if you still think you'd like to get to know me. "
Wow ! Now I know how to attract cheap guys !
I was so confused ! And I wondered how I always attracted gentlemen.
I have a new ploy ! Watch my profile to see when I add this. I plan to do it on the 12th. That's the 12th of never.
Good Luck Indiana, with that mindset that all women want is a "Free" meal.
I am returning to my home planet now. We think differently on Earth. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 5:37:36 AM |
Picture it as followed:
If a man goes on a date with a woman. Pays for the meal/meet and nothing comes of it. No chemistry. That's understandable.
Now if a man goes on a few dates a month and pays for the meal/meet every time, you have to understand, there may be cynic growing inside of him because it seems to be a pattern (and a lost of his money-which everyone values).
Picture it as follows:
If a man goes on a date with a woman, he says, "Let's meet for a soda or coffee for the first meeting." She agrees--in fact, she MIGHT (as I do) say she WANTS to meet for a soda or coffee for the first meeting not for money purposes, but for time purposes.
Now, if a man goes on a date for a few times a month and pays for a coffee or soda, he isn't out much, is he?
Picture it as follows:
A man asks a woman out. She says, "I prefer to meet for coffee or a soda." He says, "I really would prefer to have lunch or dinner." He pays.
Picture it as follows:
A woman exchanges emails with a man on POF. She says, "If I am going to meet you, I want to do it ASAP and I want to meet for coffee or a soda." (Not all men ask for the date.) He agrees or disagrees.
OP, you fall into that striated category of only one way to meet: diinner.
Also, I have had at LEAST two/three dates where I asked how much my part of the dinner was and the men said, "Half is $XX."
Gee, that's great, but his entree cost $3 more than mine and I had water instead of a mixed drink or a beer. And wow! I left a bigger tip! But I smiled and paid up--and didn't see any of them again. With men like you who **** about paying more than their share, I'll make sure I account for every penny the next time the bill is split.
. Pays for the meal/meet and nothing comes of it. No chemistry. That's understandable.
You could avoid the whole situation by saying, "If I like you and there is chemistry, I'll pay for your meal--otherwise, we go dutch."
Snort. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:27:29 AM | My original post was made in jest, but it seems that some people took it too seriously. I honestly don't expect ANY women to to copy that message and paste it on their profiles. Peer pressure and conditioning from family, the media and society are strong forces and not resisted instantly.
I was slightly shocked and pleasantly surpised when I found that text on that woman's profile. Like a child who receives a new toy I immediately started playing with it. When I said "ALL women should put this on their profile" I was being sarcastic, but without "tone of voice" sarcasm doesn't always come through in electronic communications, as many employees have found out when they sent humorous emails to their bosses. We are all (or are supposed to be) adults here; what's wrong with a little discussion? I feel that some people need to look up "equality" and "entitlement" in the dictionary to understand they are not synonyms.
Actually on my most recent date the woman invited ME, rather than the other way around. SHE picked the place, a coffee shop rather than an expesive restaurant. At the cash register I was going to pay for her drink and pastry but she beat me to the punch and paid for her own stuff. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 6:58:12 AM |
Im too cheap to pay for your meal".
OK, that wasn't nice..Funny how your "First date" says you are a cheap date..Hm..
What I am wondering about is, how exactly do you bring up the subject?
Seriously, let's say you two meet at the restaurant, and what, tell a waiter it would be two separate checks, or flat out ask her to pay for her share?
And I know some of you suggesting coffee, or something simple, I am not talking about that..I agree, not sure if I can explain it, but the man should pay for that one.
If the women offers to pay her share, is it really the sign of her not interested in seeing you again, or is she just being nice enough to offer?
I been reading all the pages, and this question has been asked before, never did found out the answer...
I mean some of you ladies saying you offer, or put the tip down, and that doesn't mean you are not interested in him, some says that's the sign of the end of things.
What to think, what to think...
I guess I been lucky enough, my experience that a women was reaching for her purse, I slapped her hand, or she said the next one is on her...Or put the tip down.
Just recently, someone asked me if I am going to feed her..LOL...See, I had an opportunity to say no..
I am one of those guys, who,just to avoid being in an uncomfortable situation, always say, I got this, BEFORE the check comes..
Should move to Austin TX..I heard the first date include a lap dance there... | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:47:40 AM | I've heard a lot of men and women say "at least it's a free meal/drink"
Maybe some men do this. But I think there are many more women who have this viewpoint than men. There are some people ( both men and women ) who feel a man should pay due to "old fashioned" values. There are other people who feel that "who asks should pay". That's essentially the same thing as saying the men should pay because 80%-90% of the time a man asks a woman out. There are other people who feel that a date ( or at least the first couple of dates ) should be dutch. I haven't heard of a commonly accepted viewpoint that directly or indirectly states that a woman should pay for the meal. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 7:51:51 AM | Geezs: I can not get guys to even return an email, let alone take me to dinner  And if a guy invites me out to dinner, then i assume he is paying And also guys i do nto have to depend on a guy to feed me, i do not look for a free meal, do not have to eat that bad. As as for putting it on my profile, naw !do not think so, far dinkum guys come on. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 8:09:51 AM | | Geezs: I can not get guys to even return an email, let alone take me to dinner And if a guy invites me out to dinner, then i assume he is paying And also guys i do not have to depend on a guy to feed me, i do not look for a free meal, do not have to eat that bad. As as for putting it on my profile, naw !do not think so, fare dinkum guys come on. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 1:53:32 PM |
I just read something in a woman's profile that I think is so wonderful I strongly believe ALL women here on pof should cut and paste into their profiles:
*
I'm not running a ploy to get free meals. I'm happy to meet at a restaurant and pay for myself, if you still think you'd like to get to know me.
I would never put something so assinine on my profile. jeeze, i would have every broke assed tightwad with issues, from here to Egypt, thinking he had found his match made in heaven.
Ladies, if you put this in your profiles you'll definitely impress a lot of men
Im not out to impress anyone. Least of all some cheapo who isnt gentleman enough to pay for a date. That is my dating rule, if you dont like it, dont ask me out. Maybe i should put that on my profile. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 2:49:17 PM | Ok, I'm going to take the offense on this one for all men (none of my fellow male peers who agree with me have to join in). Bash me all you want women and men alike who believe it makes a man "cheap" to pay for only his part of the date/meet whether it's at a five star restaurant or a mere coffee. From what a few women are saying, she only pays her way if she's not interested in the man- Understandable. If you're interested, do you pay for the entire meet/dinner/lunch? How is a man "cheap" if he decides he wants to meet you and introduce you to him (his personality) and not "impress" you with his financial extravagance? But if a woman doesn't pay, she is not cheap, she is reaping her benefits as a woman in this society that continues to perpetuate a tradition that is long out-dated because of the new equality in jobs/money/ opportunity/etc.
I don't have a personal qualm with any of you beautiful females but I read a double standard (and yes I know there are tons of double standards going around this nation but if you check my track record, I am for the abomination of 99 percent of them). Most women scream "double standard" when such occurrence arises but why (& how) is so difficult to see it here?
Brown eyed woman, it's impossible not be jaded by the past and it's also naive to see everything without the possible worst situation (i.e. gold digging women/men; men/women who only want sex). You have to assume such because it is the RULE and the ones who are different (the ones who really want love with no agenda) are the EXCEPTION. Why do you think it's so difficult to find "love"? This insincere facet makes up for many of failed relationships. If I was to see a girl post such copy/paste words in her profile, I would at least know she's more serious (more than an actual 'Serious Member') because she's going out of her way to further communicate her intentions-Finding Love. Plus she's differentiating herself from a man's worst fear when finding love- someone that will use his kindness for weakness. Paying should be a mutual thing (especially in the beginning), not an entitlement, not always a sign of non-interest, just an understanding that "At this very moment, we are individuals. When we connect and establish a relationship or the potential for one, we can began sharing finances because then we understand that money is merely dirt in the presence of Love".
~Oso  | |
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kz93
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Joined: 6/6/2009
Msg: 95 | |
| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:03:50 PM | I cannot believe you would say such a thing. You obviously never go out with modern women or you are someone that treats someone to dinner and ecpects something in return....
Most women would be quite happy to pay for their own meal a they wouldnt want to feel obliged to men like you! | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:06:02 PM | Couldn't agree with you more, Indianaman. It would be definitely heaven if a woman should say that.
Only problem is, and I hate to tell you that, is that women can talk that way, (and most likely they do just to impress a man), but they don't really FEEL that way, know what I mean? Most, and I repeat, most (of course we can not speak in absolute terms) women do not believe in it, and the truth is they do not feel comfortable having to paying for themselves, specially in a first date.
Believe me mate, there's a whole lotta space between what is said and what is thought. Women who says they're looking for a "NICE" guy wind up being in the arms of another scumbag instead of your arms or mine. Afterwards, they suffer, they regret it, they say "No More!" but we can't ever beat nature, no matter the most civilized, develope, automated society we're in, the rules of nature always stays the same, and in this nature, women will ever think all men should pay for them, right in the inner soul that's what MOST think it's right, and not the opposite in fact. They claim for "equal rights", well, you don;t have to be a lawyer to know that rights presumes obligations, so, it's a completely moot point to say equal rights without mentioning equal burdens.
That's the way it is mate, sorry, women will go on thinking you should support them, no matter if they can make even more money than you, women will say that they are tired of suffering and wants to find a "nice" guy, then you experiment being nice to see what happens, you'll soon be dumped, like many of us, the story goes on. There's a lot of difference between what people say and what people really think or feel, believe me.
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:31:01 PM | | See what I mean, man? Women gets things mixed up and end up think you're cheap. I'd like to see if it happened to be the other way around, what if we lived in a society where women should be the ones getting all the trouble in impressing, in conquering, with initiative enough to ask men out (instead of the opposite) and face it as natural getting a no for an answer, besides, having to be the ones who do all the pay. I doubt if it had it been like this if it weren't women now saying that they are being "used" and getting schemmed for free meals! Society just invented as it being proper of "gentleman"and most people don't ever criticize it, they just accept it of being part of the things, what I still find funny is the equal rights part, if a woman thinks she has the right to get a man paying all their bills, why don't men get to think they get the same right as well? If the rights are equal, men have the right to have their dinner paid, after all, paying for a dinner doesn't mean anything, does it? So a man should not think that having his dinner paid by the "lady" that he should give something in return. Now this one is to put some think to it. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:42:24 PM | This is merely curiousity but if a guy asks you to his home for dinner is a woman supposed to pay for half the groceries, the amount of fuel used to cook and keep cool the food, and also for the portion of dishwasing liquid or powder for the dishwasher?
How about the wear and tear on china and flatware? Should we leave a little something for that also? Are we responsible for having the table cloth sent to the laundry?
If we spend the night, should we leave money on the dresser for the water, soap and towel we use during a shower?
If we decide to have sex should we ask for a monetary contribution to our birth control method (younger women, of course), or should we offer him money for the condom?
Really! I'm very interested in knowing where this sharing expenses thing stops. | |
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| Something ALL women on pof should put in their profiles
Posted: 6/13/2009 4:51:38 PM | | Something I couldn't understand is, some women said that if they aren't impressed by the man, they pay, as a sign of her disinterest, otherwise, it means they are interested, right? So, if women paying is a way of saying that the guy is not impressive, then, is it correct to assume that, if a woman who lets the man do the pay is because she is interested? But we (men) couldn't and shouldn't even think or expect to get anything else from an interested woman in return, we are supposed to think it's right to pay, because media, family, society and friends say it is proper of a "gentleman", otherwise, you're a cheap, mean man, and don't even expect to get even a phone call the day after? It's really quite confusing.... | |
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