| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 6:46:38 AM | Neither.
I'm happy with who I am and what I look like.
I accept the fact that my looks and/or personality are not for everyone.
Everyone has preferences and I don't believe chemistry is anything we can control.
My quest is to find somebody that wants both.
If it was easy it wouldn't be worth finding, IMO | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 10:25:34 AM | It all boils down to the human ego and our need to be accepted for our uniqueness. Human’s as a species need to feel like they’re special, to define their individuality so when someone rejects what we perceive to be that special thing that makes us unique like looks or our personality than it can drive some of us crazy. That is why sites like this one, Facebook, Myspace and other social networking sites have become so popular because they allow us to put ourselves out there to be judged on such a large scale, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week that we are bound to get a little satisfaction from at least one person that either makes a basic comment or just even stops to look. The people who use these sites for that purpose generally are the ones who actually need that stimulation whereas people who could care less about what others think have to weed through all of the egos to try and find each other.
Unfortunately, like a few people have alluded too, these sites don’t exactly help achieve what they are designed to do. I mean how could they since there is no emotion being displayed and too much smoke and mirrors so I honestly wouldn’t even give any type of rejection on this site a second thought. There's generally very little emotional connection until you are actually, physically dating someone and even then there are plenty of fish in the sea. | |
|
| |
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 10:40:23 AM | As many have stated rejection is rejection no matter how you color or Colour coat it.
It's how you deal with it Op, rejection is part of life so deal with it, suck it up and move on.
No point in duelling or dwelling on what's not to be. Or what you can't have. | |
|
| |
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 11:24:03 AM |
I would say personality because it's harder to change your personality than it is to change your looks
Well I guess he can be right about something. Thats kinda what I am thinking.
I could gain a few pounds, wear my hair a different way, change clothes in an instant
but that same old personality, my inner core will be me.
Me will be Me. (I'm investing in litter boxes now for my 19 cats) LOL
OH make no mistake.... I loves me..... | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 1:21:15 PM | I don't really see either as rejection.
I mean, really, we can like someone physically, we can enjoy their emails and the back and forth banter, but then when we speak to them, everything we built up is ruined the minute they open their mouths.
How many of us "reject" an email from someone on here because they don't have a profile picture? Because of that, how many of us are missing out on possible "connections"
At the end of the day, we are who we are. We shouldn't have to conform to anyone's tastes and if you really you have a problem when it comes to conversing etc, look for some advice. We can't change the way we look, least not our main physical features without the help of botox or whatever medical procedure is all the rage... So why not just be happy being who we are. At the end of the day, yes most of us are seeking something "special" but that doesn't mean trying to be something or someone else to make it work! | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/22/2009 1:51:47 PM |
To me, it wouldn't matter why I was rejected, the point is I was rejected...and I move on.
I think I speak for most men and women when I say no one wants someone who they're not interested in returning with the "why" attitude.
Yep, count me in! Rejected is rejected, move on....
Cherie xx | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:33:30 PM | Rejection is a normal human behavior. We all do it...for a variety of reasons.
I have a mental list of characteristics that I am looking for in a potential mate. Soooo....I anticipate the other person has a list as well.
We are unique...Thank God...imagine if we were clones. Yeesh...I like variety.
I'll date someone even if they don't completely fill my requirements because I don't judge a book by its cover.
Some of the most beautiful people in the world have physical disabilities or physical imperfections. Their spirit can inspire many.
I take my time and get to know the person. If we decide there isn't enough chemistry we either move on or remain friends.
I am not moved by rejection because a persons idea of compatibility has nothing to do with me. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 12:58:30 PM | Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Even slight changes in diet/fitness have the potential to make a person more attractive.
Experience is a great teacher: anyone can learn to be a better person.
Maybe the question should be, "Why do so many people absolutely eliminate the chance to meet someone because s/he is older -- or the same age? And why is being rejected for your age the worst?" | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:39:05 PM | A few people have called me 'beautiful'. A guy once walked into a post looking at me and another one smacked into a door. I've been handed flowers on a bus and had people I don't know recite poems to me. This tells me that, while I may not be to everybody's taste, I'm well appreciated by some - and that suits me just fine.
Looks or personality? Neither bother me - we're all different and have different tastes so it'd be crazy to be disappointed because a person doesn't click with you - if you aren't compatible, a relationship would be no fun anyway.
Forgot to add that my experience has been that I have grown to love the looks of the person I love - even if they didn't impress me at first. You love the human - the container isn't really that important. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 1:45:08 PM | | Hmmmm.... I think being rejected for looks is worse. Someone saying "You're hot, but your personality sucks" would be worse than someone saying "You seem like a nice guy, but I'm looking for someone better looking". That's high school 101. | |
|
| |
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 5:38:23 PM | Well I think rejection bites no matter what ecspecially when you haven't met someone yet.
However I tend to have the opposite opinion as the ops in that I believe looks are more changeable to a certain extent then personality. Someone said you can get used to looking at anything in 21 days but dealing with off personality traits is hard to deal with for 2 hours.
If someone is smooth and you just know that they are hiding their intent and full of bullsheeet then it takes me less than a couple of hours. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/23/2009 10:14:42 PM | Funny- I've always thought changing your looks is harder. Looks are kind of the results of the genetic lottery, and ultimately, you have control over very little. I can lose weight, change my hairstyle, practice good grooming, but aside from major plastic surgery, I can't make significant changes to the features that I was born with. No matter what kind of maintenance I practice, I'll still look like me. That's also why rejection based on looks matters less to me. It's not something I can really count as a personal accomplishment- I just got lucky, or un- depending on your tastes. 
Maybe it's because I see my personality as a work in progress, I take it harder if someone doesn't like it. I feel like I've done a lot of improve myself, and I'll continue to do that. So if someone doesn't like the person I am, it's almost like they're saying I didn't do a good job working on myself. That I had messed-up priorities, or that I wasn't as successful at making those changes as I thought. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 2:21:40 AM | | I agree with brightest blue. Besides having a head transplant or major plastic surgeries, there is little that one can do about changing facial features. I am used to being rejected for my appearance (some men seem to think women will look totally different than their pic, and seem surprised when we do look like our pics), and rarely have heard that I am rejected for my personality, it is always that I have a great personality but there is no chemistry or physical attraction. I am no beauty queen, but do not consider myself to be ugly in the least, so my idea of ugly and the male idea are not the same, and I do not know many typically gorgeous woman, so do not know where some men are finding all these supposed gorgeous women. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 8:20:19 AM | | I think it would be worse to be rejected for your personality. If someone looks at you & says you're too ugly to date, you can feel relieved! hat person is shallow & superficial. They are easily swayed by unimportant matters. But if it's your personality, you must really suck. LOL | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 12:36:04 PM | my personality can put a smile on anyone's face the minute they get to meet me,but unfortunately i get rejected quite often because of my looks...i guess most ladies do not find me attractive and you know what i have accepted it and move on... | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:16:46 PM | in my opinion id hate gettig rejected just because of my looks. mostsly for the fact is im a sweet caring girl and would make a great catch, but if im just judged on my looks then its just ridiculous even though its their loss for not taking the time to get to know my PERSONALITY. im always gonna look how i am maybe get in beter shape but thats it so id take it harder if i got rejected for my looks even though i think im cute | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 4:29:39 PM | | For myself personally, I'd have to say looks more than personality. This reasoning i have stems from the fact that I don't look my age. I'm 24 but a lot of people see me like I'm 16 or 18, which can be troublesome when trying to find that significant other. Not only that, I'm 5'4", so yeah looks does play a huge role in the game of love but only in this one instance that is my case. So, in the end, just for myself, I think it's more of looks than personality that will affect my chances of finding miss right. Just my two cents, hope this helps out. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:10:22 PM | | Yeah, I agree with most of these replies- I think the question shouldn't have even been asked- It in itself is shallow and pointless. Who cares? I don't have and will never understand why any have rejection issues and after all this sites name says it all- there's always another, there's plenty of fish... lol | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/24/2009 7:18:30 PM | OOOOPS!!! Changing?? No, no, no, nooooo! Why would you EVER change anything? You are who you are and whoever that is someone will love you because of it! NEVER change ANYthing for ANYone!! Why? Because you're faking it, not being the real you and after awhile, sooner or later your being someone else is going to rub you wrong then two things will happen- you'll be mad at yourself for faking it and uncomfortable with this new persona you've created and piss the other person off when they find out you were lying about yourself the entire time.
I myself have a saying- "I'd rather someone not like me now for who I am than hate me more later when they find out I'm not what I claimed AND I had been lying the entire time." Honesty is everything and it starts with yourself. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 12:16:39 AM | | I believe that getting rejected for my personality would be worse than looks but then again if you get rejected then you just move on to the next person. personalities can change because you may not be the same person you where several years later. If they don't accept the way you look or your personality then it may be just that the person themselves is looking for a someone with that certain look or personality image that is considered dateable. Or they be projecting a certain personality that is fake but when you don't reject them and find out more then you find out how they really are. | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:12:53 AM | I wold have to say pretty much both, for one thong when you first meet someone at times you really don't know what to expect. Now as far s the looks are concerned; it may or may not be chimistry there. I would say yes on that one. on the other hand if you pass the physical attraction test, then it's officially a date. Now here's where your personality comes in( some women are pickey about this as well) If your personality is not up to par as far as your date's concerned then you have no chemistry and the attraction flys south for the winter. If you pass this test, there you go. thay's why I say both of them | |
|
| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:32:17 AM | Do you think we just might be spending too much time in here writing back and forth. Really don't want to spend all my time writing and writing and writing. Maybe after the first letter you should take the initiative to meet up for coffee, then decided if you're a match or not.
I think a lot of us are spending too much time living in the virtual world.
I compare the virtual world to the planet Uranus. Real men are from Mars. They don't sit around writing back and forth. They want to meet that woman. So all you guys out there if you're interested write a letter or two and then make a date to meet in person. You may have lost that special person because you didn't askher ot. | |
|
Home
login 
