| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:32:17 AM | Do you think we just might be spending too much time in here writing back and forth. Really don't want to spend all my time writing and writing and writing. Maybe after the first letter you should take the initiative to meet up for coffee, then decided if you're a match or not.
I think a lot of us are spending too much time living in the virtual world.
I compare the virtual world to the planet Uranus. Real men are from Mars. They don't sit around writing back and forth. They want to meet that woman. So all you guys out there if you're interested write a letter or two and then make a date to meet in person. You may have lost that special person because you didn't askher ot. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 4:37:51 AM | I think that looks are important to a certain extent. I get so many e-mails that start like "Wow! you're hot!! love that smile" If I was fat and ugly and full of wrinkles I don't think they would have sent the e-mail. The problem is they fall for me so fast without getting to know me. That really scares me. Because you can't fall in love with a picture. The personality is far more important. It's the personality that brings out the looks. I've met drop dead gorgeous guys that the minute they open their mouth you become ugly. I've met average looking guys that turn into gorgeous men when you get to know their personality.
Then again I met guys that were so much fun on the phone but when I met them in person, I lost interest.
I guess what I'm trying to say they are both important, personality being on top, looks second. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/25/2009 5:26:23 PM | Msg1: Does it really matter if someone reject you for your LOOKS,PERSONALITY,age , income,religion , your lifestyle or misunderstood you ???? Rejection is rejection what ever the reason is, it is clever to move on until you find your true love who will take you of what you are and understand you.... And you'll never know ,perhaps that rejection is a BLESSING IN DISGUISE....Or think it this way, if someone close the door on you, there is others that will open the door for you... | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 1:20:18 AM |
Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
For me id say its worse to get rejected for looks. Couldnt tell you how many times ive been told by men that im great to hang with and alot of fun....just not quite pretty enough for gf material. Always' the friend'! So yeah...i know my personality isnt whats being rejected. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:53:33 AM | Compatability is so hugely important; what to one person is a celebrated trait to another will be a huge jarring red flag... depends on that person, their comfort zone, their preferences and their values...
so having two people uncomfortable in specific traits is understandable, and it is ok. Trying to force something when you know something will rub and cause resentment in future is worse...
So neither...
everyone has different taste lookswise, no biggie, and everyone has comfort zones personality wise, so also no biggee.
Being vain is ridiculous anyways... we're all just ourselves... be comfortable and be happy when someone appreciates us... and be comfortable and happy when someone doesn't. It's all good... | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:09:03 AM | | I don't really care that much about rejection because it is better to know early then later. I think the main thing is to find people that you connect with and who is a real friend and or partner and they are hard to come by. If someone rejects you on the grounds of what you say or looks then are they really friend or partner material and would you want them in your life if they don't respect your thoughts and the way you are and the way you think. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 4:55:30 AM | I have no problem being a recipient of rejection.
^ Me either!
Rejection is rejection..it's real/relevant and very much part of the process.
On the flip-side: (on-line)
Physical: If I wasn't attracted to someone in the first place.. an opportunity to reject them wouldn't exist. Now, if I met someone on-line and found they misrepresented their physical attributes ~ yeah, I'll take "rejection" for $500, Alex. When people misrepresent themselves physically .. it's an UGLY assumption/risk to make or take.
Personality: This one isn't difficult (either direction) and never do I feel compelled to hold back as to why (if solicited).  | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 5:18:43 AM | I know it sounds vain, but I hate the feeling of not being found attractive. I know we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, but the sad fact is that's what attracts the reader to begin with.
I want to be that book for someone that they can't put down, so full of mystery and intrigue that they wont want to skip pages to the end to find out the outcome.
lol ugh... that was corney  | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:08:39 AM | | I'd say it's worse to be rejected based on looks. If my personality rubs someone the wrong way, I can accept that, adjust that, even change what might be off-putting. But when rejected on looks alone, personality never gets a chance, no matter how good it might be. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 10:27:52 AM | Actually, the one that wasn't part of the question would be my answer.
I have no problem whatsoever being rejected for looks or personality; I just don't want to be prejudged based on what I look like.
Those who take one look at you, make a "quick read" and make up their mind you are shallow, easy, somewhat dense and some weird kind of player...
When you are not even remotely any of those things...
I know it happens to a lot of people in a lot of ways (wrongly taken first impressions); and having people hit on you because of wrong assumptions being assumed about you because what a person looks like is worse than being rejected for them; because the very nature of the interaction is based on a hugely faulty premise; you aren't heard or interacted with.
But it's still all good; there are more good people out there than bad ones :) | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 11:41:48 AM |
having people hit on you because of wrong assumptions being assumed about you because what a person looks like is worse than being rejected for them; because the very nature of the interaction is based on a hugely faulty premise; you aren't heard or interacted with.
you said it much better than I'd been able to. It's worse that way, because you get built up, before you get rejected, whereas the other rejection gets you at neutral. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:59:04 PM | Who cares?
People get rejected for every little thing...
That's just how it works....
Funny eyes, funny toes, too fat, too skinny, too blonde, not blonde enough, no ass, too much ass, no abs, too many muscles, funny hands.... I could go on but you get it...
No use in crying about it. | |
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| Is it worse to get rejected for your looks or your personality?
Posted: 9/26/2009 8:23:19 PM | I find it hard to believe that there are so many people who don't mind being rejected. It's one thing, sure, to not be much bothered if someone doesn't respond to an email because they don't like the way you look on your profile, but surely when you meet someone in person, there's got to be SOME kind of pang, on some level, if they immediately reject you based on your looks.
Even so, though, for me it would be worse to be rejected for personality....and maybe part of the reason for that is that I would think, for most, being rejected for personality could only really come if you have gotten past the "do I like his/her looks" stage. If you meet someone, you feel that physical attraction on both sides....then the business of getting to know each other takes place. And I think that's when we become TRULY vulnerable. If I know a guy thinks I'm physically attractive AND I am attracted to him, I sure would hate for him to then think my personality sucks....ESPECIALLY if I like his and there's not some dramatic and obvious point of difference (like political views or religion or similar). It's where I live--it's ME, my ideas, my beliefs, my sense of humour, my values and principles, intelligence, sense of self, awareness of strengths AND shortcomings...all of that is encapsulated in this thing, personality.
Of course, if you don't feel that interested in someone it's not something that one is likely to dwell on...but if you DO like someone and you know they like how you LOOK, what worse insult can there be than being told you don't have an attractive "enough" personality!!?
One can know, rationally, that our value is not measured by the estimation of near-strangers, but still I don't believe that SO MANY people are unaffected by rejection. | |
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